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13. Remy

REMY

I was a fully grown, 27 year old man.

But it sure didn't feel that way, sitting at my parents' dining table with my siblings, being served neatly cut-up fruit for dessert.

My beaming omega mother had a fork in her outstretched hand. "Thanks for this, Ma," I said sincerely. I speared a piece of melon and popped it in my mouth immediately so she wouldn't fret over why we weren't eating.

It would also make the final stretch of this godforsaken family dinner go by faster. I would inhale the entire platter if it meant I could walk out of that door immediately afterwards.

I eyed my little sister. Help me. Gray flicked her eyes to the ceiling exasperatedly but ate an orange without complaint.

Lachlan blocked mum's attempts to hand him a fork. "I'm having a scotch with Dad in his office after this."

Right. Because you couldn't eat fruit before drinking scotch?

We were a farce of a family.

Dad considered his alpha sperm particularly masculine and virile after Mum popped out Lachlan and I in rapid succession only one year apart. I think he foresaw a marching band of alpha sons in his future. Gray's arrival four years later disproved that theory and she'd paid for it ever since.

I had the gall to be the only one to awaken to an alpha. Me, the idiot who never amounted to much. Lachlan, the perfect sycophantic first-born who followed in Dad's puffed-up lawyer footsteps, remained a beta.

I didn't care what his designation was. He was a prick regardless.

Mum had only just sat down when she rose immediately. "Remy, I have those biscuits you like too!" she exclaimed, pottering towards the cupboard.

"No, Ma, you don't…I'm fine, really." I tried to stop her but it was useless. I knew my mum couldn't really help it. She'd spent my whole life tending to the needs of my alpha father, doing things exactly the way he demanded. It wasn't a surprise that she couldn't help replicate the same behaviour with her alpha son.

"Hana, stop coddling him."

Dad's admonishment ratcheted the already unbearable tension at the table even higher. Lachlan made a small snorting noise of agreement and made things ten times worse.

I could see her panicked indecision as she hovered between the cupboard and table, biscuits in hand.

"Actually you know what? I'd love some," I fibbed.

"Oh, well then—"

"Hana."

Fuck, I hated when he used his bark on her.

"Why do you do that?" I snapped. "Barking at her. Over biscuits. Really?"

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Gray tugging on her collar with a subtle slicing motion. Cut it out.

I suppose she was just numb to all this from living under the same roof as them.

"Don't fight," Ma cut in quickly before my dad could explode on me. "It's ok, Remy. Everything is fine." She turned to my father, the packet already stowed back in the cupboard. "Good idea, I'll save them for next time, dear."

I decided to ignore my sister's warning and poke the bear.

"Have you heard from Aunty Jas and Aunty Liya recently, Ma?"

Gray kicked me in the shin under the table. I fought to keep my face blank through the pain.

I knew what I was doing by asking my mum about her sisters back in Malaysia. My father loved telling my mother that they were in Australia now and should behave as such. On the rare occasions her family would visit, he acted like he was counting down the seconds to when their plane would leave again.

My aunts were oblivious, praising her for nabbing an alpha and living ‘the good life' in a Western country. All they saw was the big house and the fact that she didn't have to work.

Didn't have to? More like wasn't allowed.

Nevertheless I was more than happy to remind my father a whole aspect of her life existed outside of him whether he liked it or not.

I listened attentively as Ma updated me on her sisters' lives, making sure to ask lots of follow up questions. Dad looked like he was about to have a conniption by the time we were done.

Good.

"Are you planning on doing anything useful with your life anytime soon, son?"

Don't rise to the bait.

I smiled just a little bit too wide at my father. "Nope. Not yet. You'll be the first to know though."

As far as my parents and Lachlan were concerned, I was a personal trainer. I did spend a lot of time at my boxing gym which helped sell the lie.

Gray came over to my apartment one day, took one look at the placement of the tripod I'd left out and said, "You do porn, don't you?"

She'd always been much, much smarter than me.

I didn't plan on making a career of jacking myself off for money. One of my exes was very into being filmed and we joked about uploading it somewhere for shits and giggles. We drunkenly did it one night.

My dirty talk and moans got more attention than her tits.

We broke up shortly after and I started my profile the following week.

"Dad, should we?" The hope in Lachlan's eyes was depressing.

Dad stood up with a toss of his head. Lachlan lapped up this tiny gesture like he'd been delivered a frilly, embossed invitation to the office. He kissed Mum on the cheek and gave Gray an awkward side hug.

"See you next time, Grace."

I didn't miss her pinched expression. At least no one made any comments about the way she dressed today. Why did it fucking matter if her definition of looking ‘nice' didn't involve a skirt?

"Bye, Lachy," I cooed, waving my fingers at my brother.

Lachlan hated being called Lachy even more than Gray hated being called Grace.

"Get fucked, Rem."

The men were off to drink scotch. Us peasants were to attend to the kitchen.

After the three of us cleared up, I took the chance to reach into my bag and pull out an exquisite red box with intricate gold detailing.

"I found this at a market in the city yesterday," I said to my mother. "They had a few different flavours but once I saw they had durian I knew I had to get it for you."

I lifted the lid, revealing six beautifully patterned mooncakes sitting in individual compartments like golden medallions.

Gray palmed her face with a muttered good lord under her breath.

My mother's face went white.

"You can't bring that in here."

I stared at her incredulously. "What? What do you mean?"

She started trying to shove the lid back on, her movements growing more agitated. "Your father can't smell it. Have you forgotten what durian is like? He can't know you've brought it for me. Remy. What have you done?"

"Ma, it's in a mooncake, it's nowhere near as strong as the actual fru–"

"Get it out of here!" she demanded shrilly.

"Jesus, ok!" I snatched the box from her trembling hands.

Gray took it from me with a very pointed look and walked out the room. I heard the front door open and slam shut.

I looked at my mother, really looked at her. Her naturally wavy hair pressed straight. Age spots freckled along her terracotta skin. The gradually deepening crows feet at the corner of her eyes.

The woman in front of me bore no resemblance to the one in the old photos my aunties had brought the last time they visited. Her younger self smiled, surrounded by friends and family, carefree in her colourful tudung. How long had Dad waited before pressuring Mum to set aside her headscarf?

Sometimes I wondered who my mother truly was after she had spent an entire lifetime moulding her habits, interests and preferences around another person. A person who did not care or appreciate her, content to let her chase his affection for decades.

Gray would kill me for what I was about to ask next.

"Have you been following the news about bond dissolution?"

The first pebble testing the way the water rippled.

My heart sank at the disgusted look that crossed my mother's face. "Young people," she said with a shake of her head. "You don't understand. Bonds are for life. There's no respect anymore."

"You don't think people can change? Can want different things?" I pushed on.

"Remy. Enough."

Was it though?

It never seemed like anything I said or did would be enough to make her see.

Bonds are for life? Yeah, that was the worst fucking thing about them.

I couldn't say that though. I could only imagine the heartache it would cause my mum to hear I don't want to end up like you and Dad.

My sister returned empty handed and I stood up to leave.

"Bye Ma." I kissed her cheek. "I'll see you next time."

"I'll walk you out," Gray offered.

We trudged down the driveway. I stopped and stared at my parked car, feeling like I'd just gone ten rounds in the ring.

"Where did you—"

"Number 64's bin."

"Right. Cool."

She turned to me. "I can go get my focus mitts if you—"

"Fuck." I let out a loud exhale of relief. "I thought you'd never ask. Grab them and get in."

Gray gave me her first genuine smile of the evening. "I call dibs on the playlist. Then we can punch the shit out of each other."

I turned up to Sierra's the next day and she didn't have her wig on.

That was the first sign that she wasn't herself today.

I missed the other ten thousand at first because I was too busy staring. Her real hair was so dark. Glossy black, thick and so so long. How did it all fit under that pink wig? Did she have some sort of space-time continuum localised within her scalp?

"Did you hear a word I said, Ryder?"

Her foot was tap-tap-tapping her disapproval. Her cheeks turned the cutest shade of pink. I didn't have an answer so I settled for a shrug accompanied by a garbled mouth noise.

"Oh my lord," she huffed.

I was by her side immediately, my hands finding her hips. "I'm sorry," I apologised quickly before offering her the truth. "It's just that your hair is very pretty."

"It's just hair," she muttered.

Sierra had been the one to organise today. Her period was on the way and she understandably wanted to get one last filming session in. Even so, I was not such an oblivious male specimen to dismissively chalk her bad mood up to ‘hormones' or ‘womanly troubles'.

"You wanna tell me what's wrong?" I prompted. I wondered if giving her a neck kiss would sweeten or sour her disposition further.

Better play it safe and do neither. For now.

"Apart from the fact that you're barely listening to me?"

I nodded sagely. "Yes, yes. I know I'm a big dum dum who doesn't pay attention but you've been upset about something since I arrived."

Sierra clasped her hands at my wrists. I thought she was about to pull them off her waist but instead she…ran them up my forearms.

It took a lot to focus on her words and not think about how I could still be floored by a simple touch. Wasn't ‘fucking someone out of your system' a thing? When was that supposed to kick in?

"I had my heat partner interviews the other day."

Why did a simple sentence make my alpha absolutely murderous?

"It didn't go well," she sighed heavily. "The scent cards were fine but meeting them in person was a disaster. And then…"

And then? And then what? My mind immediately conjured up the worst possible scenarios and the only way it could possibly be resolved was with violence.

"There was this alpha…"

A dead alpha if I had anything to say about it.

"...I overheard him talking to his wife moments before he went into the alpha entrance of the building," Sierra said, her posture slumping. "It made me realise that I have no fucking idea if the alphas I've been with in the past were single or not. The whole thing made me feel like a fucking disgusting wh—"

"Nope." I stopped her with a firm finger on her lips. "Whatever you are about to call yourself — don't," I warned her sternly. "You did not break vows or cheat. You sought out necessary services for your health. They are the disgusting ones. Not you."

She didn't look entirely convinced.

"You still have time, right?" I continued. "Maybe talk to your…to your…"

"I think they call themselves ‘heat services consultants'," Sierra helpfully supplied for me.

"Yes. Them. Talk to yours once you're not feeling so…shitty," I finished lamely.

It was a good thing I was not looking to bond an omega because I was god awful at the emotional caretaking aspect of it.

She rubbed my cheek with her thumb. "Thanks Ryder."

Suddenly, the urge to hear my real name on her lips absolutely overwhelmed me.

"My name's Remy," I blurted out.

Oh. Shit.

I guess I was doing this.

"I mean, my name is Remington," I charged on. "But I usually just go by Remy."

Her eyes were so large they swallowed her whole face.

The silence stretched canyon-like between us.

Way to completely fuck things u—

"Hazel."

I inhaled sharply, along with her rising scent.

An abundance of limes — squeezed into drinks and sucked between lips after shots. Tipsy kisses across sun-warmed skin, between breasts, nuzzled along a giggling belly. A bikini string caught between teeth and pulled to reveal a perfect, slickened pussy.

"Hi Hazel," I said hoarsely.

"Hey Remy."

Suddenly, she bowed over, wincing in pain.

"Hazel, are you—"

"It's a heat spike, Remy," she explained through gritted teeth.

I clasped her cheek. "Tell me how to help you," I asked her urgently.

The deep black of her pupils had almost overtaken the soft brown of her eyes. She pressed a firm hand on my shoulder and brought me to my knees. I groaned as she fisted my hair and shoved my face against exactly where she needed me.

"Make me come, alpha."

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