12. Hazel

HAZEL

At this point, I could almost mouth the words to the terms and conditions alongside the heat services consultant.

"…the National Omega Commission will perform due diligence regarding the sexual health of heat partners but cannot be held responsible for any other factors including how heat partners react when in rut. By signing this agreement you agree to hold the National Omega Commission free of any liability regardless of reason and circumstance."

"Jill," I lamented. "Why do I have to listen to this every time?"

The other woman broke out of her professional reverie to give me a light smack on the arm with her sheaf of papers. "'Cause it's my job, you numpty."

Jill railed against the strict dress code NOC demanded of its employees with giant, plastic earrings (today she had naked breasts that formed an upside-down heart) and colourful streaks through her natural grey hair.

I liked her, even when she was boring the living daylights out of me.

"You wouldn't have to listen to it so often if you used your previous heat partners," Jill scolded me breezily. She cleared her throat and continued while my brain slowly migrated off with the fairies.

And settled firmly on thoughts of Ben.

He had surprised me. From what I'd heard about newly awakened alphas, they were loose testosterone cannons shooting rage and aggression at the slightest spring breeze.

What did I get instead? A fucking delight of a conversational partner who did not seem to baulk no matter how demented or ridiculous I was.

There's a reason he's your scent match,crooned the tiny, know-it-all voice in my head. I shut her up immediately, because I could not afford to have emotions get involved with what I was about to do. I kept reminding myself that having my heat tended to was a necessary medical need of mine.

Heat services was the best way to do it.

I turned back to Jill, trying to focus.

Jill had scheduled four interviews for me today. Back to back with three alternates lined up tomorrow if I didn't gel with any of the alphas from today. They had all passed my scent check, i.e. did not repulse me and I could see myself riding their fun sticks.

When I first started using heat services, I usually had packs tending to me, or pairs of single alphas. But once I realised rebooking them was not an option, I stuck with one purely for mathematical reasons.

I had many more heats to come and alpha heat partners, despite what people might think, were a non-finite supply. It didn't work as well — several admitted afterwards that they had struggled to keep up with me — but it was necessary.

Jill finally finished up and I signed along the dotted line a little too voraciously.

"Ok, you eager beaver," she said, her amused exasperation clear. "Let's go meet contestant number one."

Contestants number one through four were all a bust. I coughed, literally coughed as soon as I got my first whiff of the third alpha. I didn't understand it at all. All their scent cards had been inoffensive but once I was in the room with them my omega's repulsion was almost immediate.

If only I could grab her by the metaphysical collar and give her a good shake. Hey. We have a job to do here.

She would only whine in response, probably.

And make me think about bonfires and mint like the scent-obsessed hussy she was.

Don't forget mountain lakes too. Beautiful, calm and such a lovely shade of blue just like—

I rushed out of the last interview, desperately trying to find a window to shove my head out of. How could an inoffensive moss-like scent card conjure up so many thoughts of mould, spores and fungus?

Jill was right behind me, her eyebrows drawn together. "Hazel, do you need to go back to the scent matching department and do another round? You've never turned down alphas so quickly before."

I pressed my fingers into my eye sockets. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Jill," I told her despondently.

You do!crowed my omega. I already know who I want!

Scent. Obsessed. Hussy.

"Go home, get a good night's sleep—"

Yeah, that's definitely not happening.

"And come back tomorrow for your next round of interviews and I'm sure things will go better," Jill finished, giving me a reassuring pat on the shoulder. She chanced a hesitant look my way. "But maybe you could consider re-booking one of your past heat partners if you are having trouble picking someone."

Well, that wasn't happening either. I mumbled an apology, thanked Jill profusely for her time and left, grateful to breathe in the crisp autumn air outside. My back slumped against the brick building and I rubbed the spot between my brows.

"...caught up at the office. I'm so sorry, honey. Bloody grads mucked us up real good today. I don't know what they're teaching at uni these days, honestly."

My ears pricked up. I inched my way to the edge of the building and peeked around the corner. He was in a suit, with a full head of silver hair and a beard. I couldn't tell his designation from this far away. But he exuded the glow of a man who did not have to work very hard for what he had but believed that others who had failed to reach his eminence had not pulled hard enough on their bootstraps.

Alpha.I was certain of it.

And he absolutely was not caught up at the office.

"I'll make it up to you this weekend," he continued in his booming voice, oblivious to my snooping. "I promise. That new restaurant along the promenade you've been wanting to try. Of course, you deserve it." He checked his watch with a flick of his wrist. "Honey, I've got to go. I'll see you later tonight."

The alpha hung up abruptly and to my complete and utter dismay, pulled off his wedding band easily and stuck it into his pocket. He walked straight into the alpha-only entrance to the heat services building. I managed to catch his extremely familiar afternoon, ladies, how are we all doing? to the receptionists before the glass doors automatically closed behind him.

Oh.

He was a married alpha.

At the National Omega Commission's heat services department.

Alphas only came here for one thing. I should know. I just interviewed four of them for it.

I spun on my heel and abruptly reentered the building.

"Please, I have to see Jill again." The receptionist looked a bit stunned by my sudden, frazzled request.

"Hazel?" Jill's colourful head appeared from the hallway beyond. "What's the matter?"

My leg jiggled restlessly as I sat in Jill's office. "Do you check if the alphas are in bonded relationships? Or married?" I asked her once she had shut the door.

Jill looked confused. "None of our alphas are bonded to omegas. We've only ever had a handful of bonded alphas apply in the time I've been working here and we are pretty firm about turning them away."

My hands were shaking. "No, Jill. Not bonded to an omega. But to a beta, I'd imagine. Probably? I assume she must've been," I prattled aimlessly.

Jill wrapped a very unprofessional but comforting arm around my shoulders. "What's happened, Hazel? Talk to me."

I really wished the churning, nauseating feeling in my gut would go away. "There was an alpha outside. Talking to his wife," I said, staring at my hands. "I watched him take off his wedding ring and go into the alpha-only entrance.

Jill didn't say anything for a long moment. "Well…I'm not saying it's right, but some alphas have open relationships so they can satisfy urges that a beta partner might not—"

"I doubt it," I cut in. "He said he was working late."

The other woman's expression was pale and resigned. "I'm sorry, Hazel," Jill said quietly. "We obviously don't accept alphas with bonded omegas. But we don't really have a way to know if they've bonded a beta, you know that."

I did know. An alpha/beta bond wasn't permanent and there wasn't any sort of pheromone change to reflect it in either partner.

How many of my previous heat partners had betas waiting for them at home? How many boyfriends and husbands had I unknowingly fucked before they went back to their spouses. Families?

"I'm going to be sick." I ran to the bin in the corner and retched, but nothing came up. Bile sat corrosive in the back of my throat. "Jill, I…I can't do this anymore. Cancel my other interviews."

Jill shifted her weight from one foot to the other and I could sense that she still had something to say.

"What is it?" I asked thinly.

"Your heat is still coming up, Hazel."

I groaned, letting my head fall into my hands.

My journey home was a blur. I even forgot to check if the omega car service driver matched the one on the app and simply slid mindlessly into the backseat of the car that pulled up. Luckily, I checked in a panic five minutes in, relaxing when all was well.

Using the car service again reminded me of the disastrous text I'd sent my parents last time. I actually felt relieved when I received my daily scripture with a side of guilt tripping 3 hours later like nothing had happened.

Mum

My precious daughter, how are you?

I came across this passage during my Bible study today. Perhaps it will bring you clarity?

Isaiah 55:6-7 "Seek the Lord while he may be found; call upon him while he is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his—

Hard pass.

I spent the drive scrolling through my OmegaFans inbox. I usually tried to reply to every DM — something generic and short. But my biggest (aka highest paying) followers got a little extra effort put into the replies to keep them happy.

You are incredible. A stunning goddess. I can't get over your curves in your latest post. Let me take a bite of that ass.

Angles. It was called angles. I almost broke my back for that shot.

How are you today, Sierra Echo?

(15 mins later)

I said how are you today?

(5 mins later)

Bitch whatever, you aren't even that hot

He was still subscribed and bought one of my slick panties one hour later.

I had a new subscriber add a tip to his message so it shot to the top of my inbox.

You're a filthy whore.

What a good use of his hard-earned cash.

I messaged some flirty, emoji-filled responses to the ones that weren't downright abusive. Replied "but I'm YOUR filthy whore, right?" to the last one and no doubt fed his degradation kink.

Before long, the driver was pulling up outside my apartment. Aleks wasn't working tonight and I was surprised by my disappointment. I hoped his grandma was doing better.

My apartment felt different tonight. I usually liked being alone. But this was the first time it felt lonely. I reheated some leftovers and ate without tasting. Scrolled on my phone while the TV played and paid attention to neither.

It was the heat interviews today. All those awful scents. The uncertainty of what was to come. My omega was unsettled and dreaded going into my nest. She wanted stolen clothes, gifted bedding and most importantly, warm bodies beside her.

Chocolate. Whisky. Lakes.

By the time I had washed my face and changed into pyjamas, my instincts were frazzled. There was a frenetic sensation beneath my sternum like I had been pacing restlessly back and forth for hours.

I opened the door to my nest and my omega hissed and spat. I didn't blame her.

A single mattress on the floor. A sunken lumpy pillow and a thin, fraying blanket.

It was the same nest I had made the day I moved into the Omega Village and underwent the bond dissolution trials four years ago. I knew it contributed to my awful sleep but it didn't matter.

It was all I deserved.