Chapter 5

Five

DELA

B y the time I walked home from downtown on Saturday, I had a handful of messages from my friends waiting on my phone, which I'd intentionally left in my apartment after dropping off my car.

Rosetta

You and Raz! OMG! Call me!

Rosetta

Guess I'll add a chair for the wedding next weekend? Or will you just sit on his lap? Looks like he'd be more than okay with that seating arrangement. ;)

Shay

I'm across the street and I see you out there with your horny demon!

Shay

You got him down on one knee already? Woot! Told you! Gonna need allll the details, girl! And don't think about waiting until Monday to spill!

Natalie

Welcome to the "we have giant monster boyfriends" club! Maybe we can go triple-dating with Ro and Dak after their honeymoon. (Not that those two need a honeymoon! LOL)

Shay

What's going on out there? You okay? You look kinda upset, and yes, I am peeping on you. #NoShame Want me to run out there and kick his grumpy red ass?

Shay

Why is leaving? I'm literally two minutes away if you need me.

Even my boss—aka, Natalie's newly minted boyfriend—texted me.

Constantine

Hey. Hope I'm not out of line, texting you about non-work things. Just checking to make sure you're okay. Not because I don't trust Razbunare, I just know you've been through a lot, prior to moving here, and want to let you know I'm here as a friend who'll have your back anytime you need it. Text me if you need anything.

It took one message to my boss, a few to Natalie, and two hours' worth of back-and-forth with Rosetta and Shay before my phone calmed down yesterday. But I'm not complaining.

It's been a long time since I had friends. I left the ones I'd made as my younger self behind when I moved to a new city to be with Doug. Once I was far away from everyone who cared about me, he began chipping away at my self-worth, making sure I alienated old friends and lacked the confidence to make new ones, even on a casual level.

I'm fortunate to have made some great connections since moving to Fate's Falls. Rosetta was the first human I met when I moved here, and her high energy was a lot to take in at the point in my life when I just wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. She refused to leave me alone to wallow, though, and I'm grateful she didn't. We don't spend a lot of time together—her big, bossy orc fiancé keeps her occupied —but we've developed a daily texting friendship.

Her cousin Natalie is new to town, but now that she's with Constantine, it's safe to say she's not going anywhere. That works for me because she's one of those people who feel like they've been in your life forever after talking to them one time.

Shay is the kind of friend everyone should have, and I'm so lucky I get to spend time with her five days a week at work.

I never would have gotten close with a coworker in my previous situation. Too risky, letting someone who spends forty hours a week with me have insight into my personal life. In hindsight, if I had, I might not have ended up temporarily dead.

But then I wouldn't be here. And here is working out pretty great.

Maybe Shay was right about fate. Something I'm sure she'll remind me of as soon as the opportunity presents, probably in front of customers at work on Monday. I'll take the embarrassment. Today, I need to see Raz.

I hated spewing old insecurities all over our first date. Hated it but couldn't stop it from happening. My therapist says I shouldn't expect a speedy repair for things that took years to dismantle. As much as that makes sense, I hate that I'm still broken.

But Raz was so good about my mini-breakdowns. So patient and accepting. Then our date ended without warning, because he had to go mete out vengeance somewhere.

A shiver rolls up my spine. The vengeance thing is…heavy. I said it didn't change what I want, but it's hard not to think about what he might be doing. Shay told me he's killed before, and I won't judge him for doing the things he was created to do, especially centuries ago. But does he still? If so, can I live with that?

What would that look like if this thing between us becomes a long-lasting relationship? Have a good day at work, honey! Don't get blood on your pants because I'm terrible at getting stains out!

Of course, I've only ever seen him wear dark clothes, so blood stains wouldn't be an issue. But still.

What about the people on the receiving end of the revenge? I'm sure some of them deserve what's coming to them. Doug, for example, would've deserved it, had I taken Raz up on his repeated offers to grant me any vengeance. But I can't stop thinking about the shoe being on the other foot. What if after I left him, Doug had wished for revenge on me? Would I truly be dead now? As much as I want to be with Raz, I need the answer to that question.

To get it requires an in-person conversation because Raz doesn't have a phone. One of the less-serious details I learned yesterday while we were climbing to and from the crest of the waterfall. Vengeance demons have no need for phones. Revenge wishes haven't adopted technology yet; they still arrive by brainwave.

Yesterday in the square, he said he'd see me soon, and I assumed he'd find me when his duty was completed. It's possible he doesn't know where I live, though if he's been coming to The Brew several times a week for seven months because of me, the odds are good that he knows where my apartment is. Fate's Falls isn't a big place.

Maybe that's too forward for him. Just because he has no physical modesty doesn't mean he's the make-a-move type. The opposite. If coincidence—or fate—hadn't placed us both at the waterfall yesterday morning, we'd still be oblivious to the other's feelings.

I'm still working on rebuilding the parts of me Doug broke, but I'm willing to take the leap and go to Raz. Besides, if I have to sit with my thoughts another day, I'll be mentally unraveling by the time I get to work tomorrow morning. Shay is an amazing friend, but she shouldn't have to collect my pieces when I fall apart. New me has much stronger glue than the old me. I'm not the weak, dependent person Doug made me believe I was. I'm strong enough to face my fears head-on. To survive whatever life, or fate, puts in my path. I need to remember that.

R az's cabin, tucked away in the woods, not far from the waterfall, is a five-minute drive from the edge of town. There's no driveway, just a path from the road where I parked to the small clearing surrounding the wood cabin. The structure blends with the trees, looking as if it's been here a long time, though I know Dak built it for Raz. That's why it's taller than your average single-story dwelling. Including his horns, Raz is close to ten feet. He'd have to crouch in my apartment or his horns would scrape the ceiling.

There's no answer when I knock on the massive door. The sound peals through the silent forest, the only response coming from the temporary stoppage of birdsong.

It's been over twenty-four hours since he left me in front of the bakery. Maybe that's a normal amount of time to make someone's revenge wish happen. I didn't think to ask his definition of "soon," assuming it's similar to mine. But "soon" could mean an entirely different thing to a demon who's been around as long as humans have populated the earth.

Waiting for an indeterminate amount of time skates too close to "clingy" territory. I want to be with him, but even if our relationship lasts, I won't become a woman who can't stand on her own. Not again. I'll leave him a note, then head back to town and find Shay. Give her all the details she's impatiently awaiting, then get some of her valuable insight about everything that's happened so quickly.

The cabin's front door has a simple sill, only a couple of inches deep. There's no paved walkway, no place to sit, no smooth surface to write on.

Long-fallen pine needles crunch beneath my feet as I circle the cabin. A single oversized wooden chair sits on a small deck at the back, and I drop into it while removing the notebook and pen I carry in my purse. It's always a good time to release negativity. If you can't speak the words, write them down. My therapist's suggestion. It has proven helpful. So has burning the pages I fill. I don't want to look back and re-read those negative thoughts. There's no place in my heart for hatred, even for someone who tried to destroy me.

Today's words aren't negative. They aren't anything—because I can't think of what to write. Pen at the ready, I stare into the woods, my mind as blank as the page beneath my poised hand.

"Dela."

I jump up from the chair at the sound of Raz's voice; the notebook, pen, and my purse clattering onto the deck in the process. "Where did you come from?"

"Hell."

"I meant, just now. The ground is crunchy, but I didn't hear footsteps. Or the patio door slide open. Where did you come from just now?"

"Hell," he says again, taking the seat I vacated, then drawing me onto his knee. "I must visit after each vengeance is fulfilled. The contracts for souls are stored there."

"After three years in a cubicle at my tedious previous job, I guess it's appropriate that there's paperwork in hell." My bottom lip drops when I feel a brief rumble from Raz's chest. "Did you just laugh at my joke?"

"I believe so."

I swivel on his knee, so I'm directly facing him. "You believe so? No ‘vengeance demons do or do not'? You're always certain."

"Things are changing." The glow deep in his eyes brightens as he slides one hand through my hair and watches it sift through his fingers, then cradles my chin with his palm. "I am changing."

"You've begun to experience feelings, I know. And laughter is the body's way of expressing an emotion, so that makes sense. It just took me by surprise. How did it feel?"

"Natural. Light. I understand why creatures enjoy this sensation."

"Laughter is one of the best feelings." A big smile breaks across my lips. "I'm so happy you get to enjoy it."

"There is another feeling I would like to enjoy." The hand at my hip pulls me higher up his muscular leg, only stopping when my bare legs are wedged tightly in the V. "Now that I know what it is to kiss you, I crave the feeling of your lips against mine. I hated leaving you yesterday and could not return fast enough."

Serious subjects can wait. I want this moment, just the two of us, without our pasts or whatever the future holds.

"You really are good with words." My lightweight sundress bunches up at my hips when I shift to straddling his lap. "And with your lips and tongue," I say, pressing myself against him everywhere possible as I hover my mouth a breath's width from his. "Show me how much you crave me."

Another rumble in his chest vibrates against me, but this one isn't his newfound ability to laugh. It's harder, a silent growl. Then his hand is in my hair, his fingers molding to my head, holding me in place as he kisses me. This time is different than the others. Yesterday, he followed my lead. Today, he's in control. His kiss is firm, deep, demanding.

I melt against him as his tongue slides between my lips, just enough to touch my tongue, then retreating, a rhythmic teasing dance that has me rocking my hips to match it. Grinding on the hard length of his cock between my legs feels so good. Too good.

He grips my hips when I begin to wiggle backward. "Do not stop."

I shake my head when he settles me back in place. If I keep rubbing myself on him, I'll come. "I'm too embarrassed."

"Modesty and embarrassment are emotions humans have not always felt. It is in the nature of your species to take sexual pleasure."

"I should embrace my prehistoric roots and just go for it whenever the urge strikes?"

"If I am within reach, yes."

I shiver at the possession in his statement. But not out of fear. I know his possessiveness isn't for the sake of controlling me. "I want to let go with you."

"Then do," he says, guiding my body in a slow, firm rocking motion against his cock. "Your desire is mine. Take your pleasure with me."

The spark between my legs increases with every slide over the solid bulge in his pants. I could come like this. But if I'm letting go, I want it to be mutual. "Take me in the house," I say, looking into his eyes. "And I mean that in more ways than just entering the cabin."

The glow in his eyes flares brighter than I've ever seen. "There is nothing I would not do for you, to you. Demon that I am, I require consent in all things. I need to hear you say the words."

"I want… I want your tongue between my legs. I want to taste your cock. I want to feel you inside me." I cling to him as he rises, though I'm in no danger of falling when I'm up in his arms. "I've never told someone what I want before," I say against his neck while he carries me past the glass doors.

"I hope you will always tell me."

Always. That could be another fifty years or so, if he's talking about my lifespan. I don't expect him to want me when I'm old and frail. The way he wants me now is enough. I want it to be enough.

"Your pulse has slowed," he says, sitting on the edge of a massive bed with me cradled in his arms. "And the deep pink has left your cheeks."

"I'm thinking too much. Again. Turning what should be the sexiest moment of my life into a look at lonely, old, future me. I wish I could turn off my brain and just enjoy the sex I want to have with you, but I'm not wired that way. There's all this stuff I can't shut off, even when I'm more turned-on than I've ever been. So, when you've had enough of my messy spiderweb of thoughts and emotions, just tell me to go, and I will."

"A spiderweb is complex, not messy. An intricate collection of individual threads with incredible strength when woven together. If you think I will find your collection of thoughts and feelings anything other than strong and captivating, you are incorrect. You are all I desire, and I desire all of you, including the parts you think I will not. I will never tell you to leave, nor will I force you to stay."

My heart dances a pitter-patter at his beautiful words. "I won't always be young, Raz. I'm going to grow old, get wrinkly, probably saggy, and you'll be exactly as you are now. All I ask is that when I get too old for you to want me, let me go gently."

"I will always want you, my sweet Dela. I was drawn to you before seeing you. You are more lovely than any creature I have laid eyes on, but it is your heart and soul I do not want to be without. When the day comes that your sunshine leaves your body and moves on to the next place, I will return to hell and ask my liege to return my essence to hellfire, so that I do not have to exist one day without you beside me, giving me life."

How to say I love you without saying I love you .

Is it possible to love someone in such a short time? I think it is, when fate has a hand in finding the one you're meant to love.

Turning in his arms, I place my hands on his shoulders, then resume the straddle position over his lap. "I could listen to your beautiful words forever, and I plan to, but right now, I want your mouth doing other things."

A growl rumbles through him when I grip both his horns and slide my hands up and down. "You will keep doing that while I lick you until you come." A firm tug on the front of my dress sends the buttons scattering, some onto the soft, yellow blanket covering the bed, some to the wooden floor. His large, warm hands cup my breasts reverently. "I wish to taste every inch of you."

"I wish for that too."

"It is good we are in agreement." His lips curve up in a subtle smile, then he takes a nipple into his mouth. His hot mouth.

It felt warmer than human when we kissed, but not hot, like it is now. His lips are like a brand on my skin. Heat ripples through me and I arch toward him, eager for more. His tongue flattens against the underside of my nipple and he begins suckling. It's so good. Never-ever-stop-doing-that good. Desperate to get pressure on my clit, I rock forward on his lap, grinding for more contact, moaning at the spark of an impending orgasm.

He releases my nipple with a wet pop , meeting my gaze with fire in his eyes. "On my mouth, Dela. I want to feel your womanly heat pressing against my face. I want to taste your pleasure when you come."

All I can do is nod. Nod, and slip off my dress and panties while he lies back, getting in position for what he wants—me, on his mouth. When I said I wanted his tongue between my legs, I thought I'd be the one on their back. I've never done this before. Never wanted to. Never had a man command me to press my pussy against his face until I come. Honestly, nobody has ever cared if I came.

Raz cares. My pleasure is his current number-one priority.

I wiggle my way up his body until I'm straddling his neck. He doesn't usually breathe, but the instant I grab hold of his horns, hot air hisses from his mouth, tickling my skin like a light kiss. He grips my hips, the tips of his fingers pressing firm enough to trigger endorphins, but he doesn't pull me higher. No. Without saying a word, I know what he wants. It's in his eyes as he stares up at me.

On my mouth, Dela.

All it takes is one small shift, then my inner thighs are against his ears and I'm hovering above his mouth. His strong, warm hands slide over my skin, caressing every inch he can reach, which happens to be a lot of me because he's so big. Everywhere he touches leaves a trail of tingly sparks, but when his fingers curl around my ass and he draws me down to sit on his face, I feel like I might burst into flames.

I watch his tongue slide up the front of my mound. Long and black against my fair skin, the erotic sight takes my breath away. He presses the tip against my clit, and it takes everything in me not to close my eyes. But I want to watch. He makes me want to soak in the sensation in every way possible.

My body moves involuntarily, meeting the rhythm of his tongue. Within seconds, I'm breathing hard, chasing the building spiral beneath my clit. I rock forward, gripping his horns tightly for support as I grind on his mouth.

Beneath me, he growls, the deep sound vibrating through me, pushing me to the edge. His hand slips between my legs and two long fingers slide inside me, pressing a sensitive spot inside me as he suckles my clit hard.

I snap, crying out as I writhe on him, coming until I can barely breathe. I shudder as the last wave of aftershocks ripple through me. Then his arms are around me, gently shifting me onto the bed beside him, where he strokes my hair while looking at me with a combination of adoration and desire.

"How much time do you require before I can pleasure you again?"

"You want to do that again?" Just thinking about it has my body tingling. I felt like a goddess, riding his face like that. I felt sexy and desired—truly—for the first time in my life.

"I could spend eternity devouring you. A few short minutes is not nearly enough."

"Well, it feels like the bones in my legs melted, so a few short minutes is all I can handle in that position."

"Then I will pleasure you in other positions," he says, continuing to look at me after rolling onto his back again. He pats the highest part of his chest. "Sit here, then spread your legs and let them rest on my shoulders while you lie on top of me. I will draw your sweet center onto my mouth and make you come as many times as your body is able."

My clit thinks it's a great idea, but… "Are you sure you want that view?"

"You are worried that I will find your anus unappealing."

I groan, covering my face as heat flares in my cheeks. "That's a bit more ‘statement of fact' than I'm ready for."

The warmth of his hand on mine, peeling my fingers from my face, calms my racing pulse. "There is no place on your body that does not appeal to me. When I said I wish to taste every inch of you, I did mean every inch. The pleasure I would give you has no boundaries, though I will respect your desires or lack thereof."

"You want to—" I swallow hard, clearing the way for words I never thought I'd say to make their way to my lips. "You want to lick me back there? "

"Yes, but you must want it too." His heated gaze locked on my face, he releases my hand and trails his fingers down my neck, to my breasts, where he strums my hard nipples, one, then the other, until I'm arching toward his touch. "I would give you pleasure in every possible way. My tongue in your ass. My fingers and cock if you wish to be filled with them. But I need to hear you say the words."

Who knew consent could be the hottest kind of dirty talk? "I want." My voice is barely a whisper, rough and breathy because I'm so turned-on. "I want you to do everything to me. And I want to do everything to you."

The glow in his eyes is bright red. He relinquishes my nipples to remove his pants, his huge, hard cock jutting out from his body the instant it has freedom. "Lie on me, my sweet Dela, and open yourself to me."

I'm so tightly wound, the simple brush of my skin against the blanket is enough to make me gasp. My legs shake as I straddle him the way he instructed. Another gasp rushes from my lips as he pulls me toward his mouth, then another when his hand spans my back to guide me to a prone position on top of him.

"You are perfect, my sunshine," he says, lapping and sucking at my clit until I'm desperate to come, not a single care in the world that I'm spread wide, revealing my most private parts, literally right before his eyes.

The fat head of his dark-red cock lies high on his abdomen in front of me. I curl my fingers around it and stroke, exploring the smooth, spade-shaped tip and deep ledge beneath, then the thick, ribbed shaft that's hot against my skin.

Beneath me, against me, he moans, doubling down on my clit until I'm humping his mouth with abandon. I cry out when the tension inside me snaps, and I come. And come. And come.

Over-sensitized, I wriggle off of his body, only to find myself turned onto my back with my legs spread wide and draped over his shoulders as his tongue finds my clit again. Even as I plead, "it's too soon," the climb toward another peak begins.

He reaches for my hand, bringing it to join his tongue at my clit. The combination of his tongue and my fingers is erotic, electric. Then his tongue slides down, dipping between my folds before continuing to my ass.

I flinch at the first light laps, relaxing as the nerve endings adjust to the sensation. "It feels good," I say, rubbing my clit harder.

His rumble vibrates against me. Through me. Then he presses the tip against the tight ring that has never been breached. My body jolts, instinctively trying to get away, but there's no escaping Raz's hot, probing tongue. A different instinct takes over as the tip pushes past my defenses.

I moan, rubbing my clit faster while bearing down to get more of his tongue inside me. White flashes behind my closed eyelids as I come, sharp and fast, a willing, breathless prisoner to the pleasure.

My heart's still racing when he rises to kneel between my legs. I shouldn't want more, but God, I do. I reach for his cock, my mouth watering at the memory of its heat in my hand. "I want you inside me," I say, then shake my head. "No, that's not right. I need you inside me."

He takes my hands and guides me to my knees. "It would be safest if you ride me," he says, settling with his back against the headboard, his long, red legs straight and his huge cock standing hard and tall.

My pulse is like a wild, galloping horse as I straddle him.

He groans as I take hold of his horns. "You will never know how good it feels when you do that."

"After the orgasms I just had, I think I have a pretty good idea." I hum as he skims his hands over my body, then fills his palms with my breasts. Reaching between us, I guide his big tip to my pussy, gasping at the immediate flare of heat when it nestles between my folds. He's so thick, even the rounded, spade-shaped tip stretches me as I descend. He's too much, but I want all of him. My body needs all of him.

The rumble within him vibrates all over me, everywhere our bodies touch. I can't resist looking down, watching his cock disappear inch by inch into my body as I slide down the cock that never seems to end.

"I want…" Wiggling and rocking, I pant as another inch of him fills me. But there's more, and God, I want to feel all of him. "I want more…"

Cupping my hips, he guides my body up and down, setting a slow, sensual rhythm that seats him deeper inside me with each stroke. "You are taking me so well," he says, then captures one of my nipples with his mouth.

My eyelids flutter closed as he suckles. The sensations send a tight tug of longing between my legs. Then his hand is there, exactly where I need it, rubbing my clit. I rock forward to get more pressure, gasping as my pussy connects with his groin. God, he's in me, all of him, and the heat of him inside me, the exquisite tingling burn of being stretched… "Raz," I moan, grinding on him, then coming apart, panting and rocking and coming. It never ends… the sensation, the waves ricocheting through me.

Then his moan, the low, long rumble I feel everywhere… His cock throbs inside me, and somehow, I come again, or still, I don't know which.

Everything goes white behind my eyelids, then his arms wrap around me, holding me tight and safe, rolling me over to my side as his cock slips out of me. The emptiness after being so utterly full is overwhelming. A shiver ripples through me, and I gulp for air, burrowing against the heat of his body.

"Are you in pain?" There's an edge to his voice I haven't heard before.

"No," I say, opening my eyes and shifting to look into his. "I promise. It was amazing. You made me feel amazing."

"You make me feel everything."

My heart feels as if it's lodged in my throat, pounding so hard I can barely get a whisper past it. "I feel everything with you, too." It's as close to telling him I love him as I can get. I know it's too soon to be real, but my heart, my head, they're both sure that it's real.