1. Graham

I'm unapologetic when it comes to who I am.

But I've recently learned that who I am… is a problem.

The scent of high-octane fuel fills the air as I stroll into the exclusive private race track in Manhattan. I've been in New York for about two months, mostly hiding out and trying to avoid the consequences of my actions. It was only a couple of weeks ago that I discovered this place. And since then, I've been coming here every few days to distract myself from the phenomenal mess that is my life.

I approach one of the track employees, a seasoned racer known for his expertise in luxury cars. He's been helping me out since I started coming here.

"Hey, Benny," I call out. "How are things looking today?"

"The day just got better now that you're here, Mr. Steele," he says with a smile.

"Your flattery just keeps on improving, Benny. Keep it up." I grin. "Any recommendations on what car I should take out on the track?"

"How about the Bugatti Chiron? We recently got it tuned up and it's ready to get on the tracks. Great wheels, superb engineering. It'll have you feeling like you're flying on the asphalt."

I nod, pleased. "Alright, then. The Bugatti it is."

He leaves to get the car ready for me while I take in the racing track. It's nestled amidst picturesque surroundings, a sprawling facility with smooth asphalt stretching out in every direction. The track itself is meticulously designed with challenging twists, turns, and straightaways that cater to both novice drivers and seasoned professionals. I fall squarely in the middle.

Safety's a top priority here, so there's plenty of barriers and run-off areas strategically placed along the track. I suit up, and by the time I return to the track, the car's already waiting for me.

"That is a gorgeous car," I say, letting out a short whistle.

Benny nods in agreement. I slide into the driver's seat, admiring the luxurious interior. The engine roars to life as soon as I start the car, a symphony of raw power that resonates deep in my core. As I accelerate onto the track, the car effortlessly responds to my touch, gliding around the corners with precision.

With each lap, I push the limits, relishing the adrenaline coursing through my veins. The wind whips through my hair and the engine's roar drowns out the world around me. It's a moment of pure bliss, where time stands still and the only thing that matters is the thrill of the ride.

As I bring the Chiron to a graceful halt, a sense of satisfaction washes over me. Benny's already waiting to collect the keys.

"How did I do?' I ask, still flying from the adrenaline.

"As I keep telling you, sir, you should be racing professionally."

I chuckle. "If the day ever comes where I decide to do that, I'll let you know first," I assure him.

I'm heading back to the changing room when I notice someone climbing down from the grandstand. My jaw clenches as my brother moves to stand in front of me. I force my features into an expression of boredom as I look at him, pretending I'm not a little bit glad to see him on his feet. My relationship with my brother is complicated. But at the end of the day, he's still my brother, and I'm so glad he's standing in front of me, alive.

"Hey, big bro. You look great for someone who got shot a couple of weeks ago."

He arches a dark eyebrow. Alexander and I look a lot alike—something that's annoyed me ever since I realized how much you get compared to an older brother who's seemingly perfect and whom you could never measure up to, despite how hard you try. Add in the fact that we've got the same facial features, dark hair, green eyes, and it became clear I could only ever truly be his shadow.

"You're still into racing?" he questions with a frown.

"Obviously," I reply, feeling the high from my drive dying down slowly. "What are you doing here? And how did you find me?"

"Tracked your phone," he says lightly.

I glare. There should be several programs in place to prevent him from doing so. But Xander's always been better at hacking than me.

"Don't worry, it wasn't easy," he states at the look on my face. "But you've been AWOL for weeks. I figured it was time we spoke."

I gesture for one of the employees standing to the side to come over, handing him my helmet and the gloves I'm wearing. Once he's gone, I look back at Xander. I have no idea what his motivations are for coming here. The last time we spoke, he was punching me in the face. It was a punch well deserved, but regardless. The last time I saw him, he was deathly pale, lying on a hospital bed.

The last thing I expected was for him to seek me out.

"What do you want to talk about?" I ask.

Xander crosses his arms over his chest, levelling me with a hard stare.

"You came to the hospital to see me, but when I woke up, you were gone. Kat said you went back into hiding because you still feel guilty. But it's been weeks, Gray. Why are you avoiding everyone?"

"Because I feel like avoiding everyone. Why do you care?"

He rolls his eyes. "You can't keep doing this shit. Especially not now. I get it, you fucked up. I was pissed, too. Then I almost died, so I'm going to be a saint and forgive you, but you have to apologize. To Katerina, to Nate, hell, even to our father. Be a man and take responsibility for your actions instead of hiding like a coward."

My fists clench but I don't say a word. Xander continues.

"I'm leaving the company for good."

"I heard."

"You heard?" he grits out. "Then what the hell are you still doing here? Go home. Get back to D.C. You finally have a chance to get what you really want."

"What I want is for you to leave me alone."

Xander takes in a deep breath. "I'm trying here, Gray. I'm really trying."

"You're pissing me off, big brother. I have no idea what you want for me, and frankly, this shit is getting old. I get it. You're the better man and I'm the fucking screw-up. I've made my peace with it. And there's no way in hell I'm going to go back there and get the company simply because the chosen heir decided he doesn't want it anymore. I'm not fucking pathetic."

"Actually, you kind of are."

My fists clench. "Do you seriously want a punch in the face?"

"No, I want you to wake the hell up. No one is handing you anything, especially not Father. I'm not giving you the company. You're still going to have to work hard to earn it."

"I'm not interested."

"That's bullshit," Xander snaps. "Alright, fine. I'm not forcing you to go back to D.C. But you're coming to dinner at our place tomorrow night and you're going to apologize to Katerina and my son for the part you played in the hell we had to go through. You owe us that much. The only reason you're not fucking dead is because you're related to me and Katerina doesn't hurt members of her family."

"What an amazing girlfriend you have there," I drawl.

Katerina Mincetti is the head of an organized crime syndicate—the Don of a mafia family in New York—and my brother fell in love with her. It's crazy, but you only need to spend a couple of minutes with the two of them to realize they're practically soulmates. The universe tried to tear them apart and they found their way back to each other. It's such a heartwarmingly sweet story, I get a toothache sometimes just thinking about it.

"Actually, fiancée. I proposed two weeks ago," Xander corrects.

My eyebrows flick up in surprise. "Damn, really? Good of you, Xan. Let's hope she doesn't disappear on your wedding day."

And that does it. Xander's control snaps in an instant. I've always had a unique ability when it comes to poking at people and pissing them off.

He grabs a fistful of my shirt, pulling me closer. "What the fuck is wrong with you, Graham? Seriously, why do you have to be such a dick?

I push him off me and straighten my shirt. "It was just a joke. Don't get your panties in a twist."

"It wasn't funny."

He's right. It wasn't. I know that better than anyone. He and Katerina have a complicated history, involving them meeting and falling in love when they were in college. She hid who she really was and when the truth came out, she disappeared for a couple of months, only to reappear with a baby. Then she disappeared again and Xander was tasked with raising their son alone for ten years. Until she returned to their lives again recently.

Xander's right. He really is a saint. I have no idea how he was able to forgive her. But he did, and I have to respect his decisions. My brother's a better man than I'll ever be.

"I shouldn't have said that," I say, my jaw clenched. "Sorry."

He crosses his arms over his chest and nods. "Okay, good. Keep that energy for the dinner tomorrow night."

I sigh. "You're annoying, you know that?"

"I'm your big brother. If you're not going to save yourself, then I've got to do it for you."

"Whatever," I mutter. "I guess you'll be seeing me tomorrow. I actually kind of miss the kid."

"He's mad at you so bring him presents," he informs me before starting to walk away.

"Hey, Xan," I call, causing him to stop. "Thanks."

We both know I wouldn't have been able to seek him out on my own. I'm never going to admit it, but I had been toying with the idea of coming to see him. He gave me the push I needed and he's giving me a chance. Now all that's left is for me to figure out how I want to use that chance.

My brother looks at me and offers a small smile. "You're an asshole, Gray. But I don't think you're a screw-up. See you tomorrow."

"There he goes, being a better man than me," I mutter under my breath.

Despite my self-persevering instincts, I end up attending the dinner at the Mincetti mansion. Katerina glares at me the entire time, but she also doesn't outright threaten my life so I take that as a win.

Once we're done eating, Nate drags me away to show his new room.

I've got to hand it to the kid, he's certainly resilient. He's been through a lot of change in the past couple of months. There's a very small list of people I love in the world, and Nate and Mikayla are at the top of that list.

I run a hand through his hair. "How are you holding up, buddy?"

He grins. "Fine. Mom and Dad took me to Paris and I got to watch Dad propose. It was nice. There were fireworks."

I roll my eyes. "Of course there were fireworks," I say, although I can't help a small smile.

"Where have you been, Uncle Gray?"

I look into his green eyes and sigh. "I've been busy, Nate."

"Doing what?"

"Trying to figure out if I can actually turn my life around or if it's too late."

The ten-year-old looks at me thoughtfully for a couple of seconds. "My mom says anyone is capable of change."

"Your mom's a smart woman. I'm sorry for disappearing. It won't happen again."

"Okay. So are you going back to D.C.? Aunt Kay said you have to come back or Grandfather will be angry with you."

"I don't know, Nate. Do you think I should go back?"

Nate's an intelligent kid. I'm so glad I have him because he's literally the only person I would ever be this open and honest with—although it is a little sad that my best friend is a ten-year-old.

"I think you should do what you want to do," he tells me.

"Anyone ever tell you how smart you are?" I ask, ruffling his hair. "You get it from me."

"I get it from my dad," he retorts. "And my mom."

"That's mean. You're lucky I love you, little man."

He giggles. "I love you too, Uncle Gray."

My heart warms. I get down on one knee to pull him into my arms. For the first time in a while, I actually feel at ease. I'm still not any closer to making a decision, but at least now I've gotten some of my worries off my chest.

When I leave Nate's room a minute or two later, I bump into Katerina Mincetti leaning on the wall beside the opened door. I arch an eyebrow at her.

"What are you doing, creeper?"

My sister-in-law is a gorgeous blonde with icy blue eyes and a confident, menacing aura. She can be pretty scary at times. Which is to be expected considering her position. But I actually like her, most of the time.

She gestures inside her son's room. "I heard all that. You're not half as bad a person as you pretend to be, Graham. You actually have a heart."

I make a face. "I thought you were mad at me."

"I was, but your brother convinced me to lay off you. So, what's going on? Why aren't you moving back to D.C.? Hasn't it been your dream to inherit the company since you could talk?"

"True. But I think I only wanted it so bad because Xander wanted it, too. Yes, I'm aware how childish and immature that sounds."

"As long as you know." She laughs. "But I don't think that's it. I think now that you know you stand a real chance of getting what you want, you're worried it'll somehow slip through your fingers. You're scared you won't be good enough."

My eyes narrow. "Remember when I asked for a therapy session? Me neither."

She smiles. "You're not a bad person, Graham. Sometimes, good people make terrible decisions, I know that better than anyone. But you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. Take some time to think about what you really want. Then go home and fight for it. I've got your back. And considering I'm one of the most powerful people in this city, that's a pretty big deal."

Something in my chest tightens and gratitude fills me. "Why are you being so nice? It's creeping me out."

She places a hand on my shoulder as she passes by my side. "You're family, Gray. Family's everything."

When she leaves, I let out a deep breath. My brother and his meddlesome family are making it very hard for me to do the right thing.

The truth is, I don't think I deserve to inherit the company. Not after all the shit I've pulled over the last couple of years. Nate said everyone is capable of change, but I'm not sure that applies to me. Not when I've excelled for so long at being the bad guy.

That's all I know how to be. But I'm starting to think that might not be all I am.