Chapter Two

Russell and Jed opened The Fish knives in the front sections, forks in the back, just as Jed likes it organised. ‘I suppose because he seemed so together. So grown-up . He’s a business owner and I’m…’ I spread my hands out and look down at my tabard. ‘Still working here, all these years later. And it isn’t just Franko. It’s all of my childhood friends. Sienna and Shelby and Peter are all having babies, and Peter’s a doctor . Even Spencer got married and that boy couldn’t commit to a football team, never mind spend his life with one woman. And Demi – who I can’t even remember from back then – has been on some BBC TV programme.’ And it isn’t just their careers that have me wanting to stick my head in the potato rumbling machine – I’ve checked out their social media, which is filled with evidence of fun and active lives. Spencer is a TikTok influencer and coaches an under-sixteen’s football team, and Peter and his wife are part of a community choir and do a lot of charity work in their spare time. Primary school teacher Courtney has a balloon bouquet side hustle and teaches belly dancing and Shelby’s days are packed with picnics and pregnancy yoga and spending time with her friends with girls’ nights out and pamper nights in and she has so many fancy meals out that I doubt she even owns an oven. And then there’s Demi, who has a range of soft furnishings and several (real) awards for interior design and seems to be besties with a daytime TV presenter. My heart sank with every ‘living my best life’ boast I saw. ‘What have I done with my life? I didn’t travel the world like I said I would. I didn’t become a journalist. And worst of all, I still live with my mum and dad.’

Claire snorts. ‘What’s wrong with that? You live there for practically nothing and your mum still does your washing and cooks your meals. It sounds like paradise to me.’

‘It sounds like I’m a teenager in a twenty-five-year-old’s body.’

‘You should just tell him the truth.’

‘And I will.’ I hand Claire the mop and bucket. If she’s going to dole out sensible advice instead of encouraging my nonsensical behaviour, she can have the crappy jobs.