Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

Havoc

W e’ve been back a week, and something’s off with Nevaeh. I can’t put my finger on it, and she’s not sharing, but some of her smiles feel forced, and I’ve caught her staring off into space with a sad look in her eyes more than once.

I watch her and Amity leave together and head for the restroom. I don’t understand why women have to pee in pairs––it’s one of life’s great mysteries, I guess. Not that I’m complaining. I know as long as Amity and Nevaeh are together, they’re safe.

“Alright, spill. What’s going on with Tinkerbell? Amity won’t tell me shit.”

“Neither will Nevaeh. I’ve tried talking to her, but she just shut me down.”

“Amity’s the same. It’s one of the things they have in common. You think it has to do with her real identity being leaked?”

I want to kick myself as soon as he says it. Of course, that’s it. I’m such a dick. I groan, making him chuckle.

“To be fair, you’ve been out of the game for a while. And with everything going on with Khan and your old club, you've had other things on your mind.”

“That’s no excuse. Nevaeh should be my priority.” I run my hands through my hair before pulling out my wallet and tossing some cash on the table for lunch and a tip.

“I don’t have social media,” I admit. It wasn’t allowed in prison, and honestly, it was probably for the best. It would have reminded me of the millions of people on the outside living their lives while I sat in a cell, regretting my choices.

“I do, hold on. I follow Amity, and I know she follows Tinkerbell. Let me do some digging,” he says, pulling out his phone as I glance over at the hall leading to the restrooms.

“Hmm.” The sound draws my attention back to him. He’s frowning at the screen, his lips pressed tight.

“What is it?”

“Well, Celeste has a lot of followers, and most of them are acting like it’s some big deal to know who she is. Some are even hoping she ends up with Ambros, but then romance readers are all about happy endings,” he mutters as he scrolls, and I glare at him.

He pauses and looks up at me. “Not that I’d know or anything. Just a wild guess.”

“I don’t give a fuck what you read, G. I care that half the world wants my girl with another man.”

“It’s the internet, Havoc––”

“Fuck that. That’s my woman,” I snap. I’ll never be okay with that bullshit. “Set me up an account.”

He looks at me warily. “What are you going to do?”

“Kill you if you don’t follow my fucking orders for a start,” I snarl.

He holds his hands up in surrender. I unlock my phone and hold it out for him. It takes him a few minutes to set it up, using a generic picture of a bike as my profile picture. Once he’s done, he shows me how to use it.

When I see the girls walking toward the table, I slide my phone back into my pocket and curse myself for not remembering to ask G about the look on his face earlier.

“Everything okay?” I ask as I stand and pull Nevaeh into my arms.

“Yeah, there was just a line. It’s not usually this busy on Wednesday.”

Taking her word for it, I ask her if she’s ready to leave. When she nods, I take her hand and lead her outside, Amity and G right behind us as we walk toward our bikes.

“Motherfucker.” I let go of Nevaeh and stomp toward my bike. Both tires have been slashed. I curse when I see how deep the slashes are. Whoever the hell did it was not taking any chances.

“G, call one of the prospects and get them to bring some tools and a couple of spare tires from the garage if we don’t have any on hand in the warehouse.”

“Who the fuck would do this?” Amity curses.

G steps closer, his phone against his ear, as he waits for the prospect to answer.

“Do you think it was someone from your old club?” Nevaeh asks.

“No, ’cause if it was, they’d’ve cut the brakes. This feels more like an annoyance than a threat.”

“I don’t like it,” G grunts, turning away when his call connects.

“I’m not exactly dancing for fucking joy,” I say sharply as Nevaeh slips her hand into mine, instantly calming me.

“Hoops is on his way with tools and the truck to take Amity and Nevaeh back to the clubhouse,” G says, wrapping his arms around Amity from behind. “Shouldn’t take long to change the tires, but there’s no reason for them to wait around.”

“I agree.”

“I don’t mind,” Nevaeh tells me softly.

“I know you don’t, baby. But you have better things to do than stand around here watching me change tires. Didn’t you say you needed to get some writing done today?”

“But I haven’t finished procrastinating yet,” she whines, making me chuckle.

“The sooner you get started, the sooner you’ll be finished,” I say as she pouts.

“Thanks for that, Captain Obvious.”

“I have a cure for sass,” I tell her as I pull her into my arms. “It involves you on your knees and my dick in your throat.”

Her skin flushes red as she slaps my chest. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t,” I say with a smirk.

“Clearly, I need therapy,” she grumbles.

“Oral—”

“Finish that sentence and die.”

“Have you always been this violent?”

“No, funnily enough, I was sane before you came along. You bring out the crazy in me.”

With the girls heading back to the clubhouse, me and G make quick work of changing the tires.

“I forgot to ask you before, but what was with your reaction to Nevaeh’s social media?”

He looks at me and frowns. “Oh, it was nothing. Just a few trolls talking shit. It’s just the nature of the beast.”

I nod, not sure what to say to that. Social media’s blown up since I’d been inside. It’s not that it wasn’t around before, I just had no interest in it, liking to keep my private life private.

“Alright, but do me a favor and keep an eye on things. I get that this is probably normal, but after what went down with Amity, I want to be extra careful.”

He tenses at the reminder but nods, his jaw tightening. After a moment, he blows out a breath. “Let’s head back,” he says as he starts picking up the tools. “Hoops mentioned that Kieran’s coming by in an hour to meet with you. Are you serious about him going undercover at your old club?”

“I want to get a feel for the guy first, but at this point, we have nothing to lose. Khan and Driller haven’t been back since I left, and the bugs are up and running, but the room hasn’t been used.” I run a hand through my hair. “Have any of them contacted you?”

“Yeah, Byte calls me every day. We’re working on tracing the missing money. It’s taking time, but we’ll figure it out.”

“Anything on the girls?”

“I’ve hacked the police files and traced their last known movements. I can see where the cops fucked up. The local sheriff didn’t do a fucking thing to follow up on any leads. Honestly, I’m surprised the feds haven’t gotten involved. But if girls keep disappearing, it’ll only be a matter of time. And the last thing the club needs are the feds poking around, because it won’t stop with just that club.”

“No, and Khan will make sure we go down with the ship as one last ‘fuck you’ to me.” I rub my hand over my face and my eyes land on the building across the street–– and, more importantly, the camera on the side of it. I nod to it. “Think you might be able to see who fucked with my bike?”

“They use our security company so I can look. I don’t know if it will have caught anything from that angle, but you never know, we might get lucky.”

I sigh. “I won’t hold my breath.”

We pull through the gates and into the warehouse just as the sky darkens, looking like it’s going to pour at any moment.

We park our bikes and climb off.

“That was lucky,” G says as we climb off our bikes. “I wasn’t looking forward to being caught in the rain today––not that it was even forecasted.”

“I swear this fucking weather has a mind of its own. You sticking around to meet this potential prospect?” I ask as we head out of the warehouse.

“Might as well. I’ll need to run background on him anyway.”

The clubhouse is quiet when we walk through the doors. Most of the tables are empty, and Lil is behind the bar. A couple of old-timers are sitting in the corner, drinking the day away, listening to soft rock on the jukebox.

Our women are nowhere to be seen, so they’re either out back or upstairs. As much as I want to find Nevaeh, I know if I do, I’ll end up buried deep inside her. And right now, I need to focus. Sometimes, I hate being the president.

We head to the bar and take a seat while we wait.

“Hey guys, what can I get you?”

“Beer for me. You see Nevaeh Lil?”

“She went upstairs to work for a bit. Amity is out back with Legs.” She looks at G as she says the last part.

He nods. “Thanks, Lil. Can I get a beer, too?”

She grabs two beers from the fridge and hands them to us.

“Everything okay, Lil? Haven’t seen you around much lately.”

“I’ve been helping out at the new homeless shelter. There’ve been a few…issues, but I think they have it under control now.”

“Anything we can do to help?”

“Um…I’ve already given them Capone’s number. They’ve been having trouble with fights and need security. I hope that was okay.”

“Yeah, that’s more than okay. Hannibal said you thought you’d been followed. Anything more come of that?”

She shakes her head. “Kruger and Circus have been taking turns picking me up. They said they haven’t seen anything unusual.”

“Good. The shelter––is it for everyone, or just for women?”

“It’s for anyone who needs a place to stay, but mostly takes in people with mental health issues that need a little extra help.”

I stare at her as she fidgets and bites her lip. “Tell Capone I’m good with him taking the job if he thinks he can make it work and the club will fund it. I don’t want people getting hurt if we can help.”

She lets out a relieved breath and fights back tears.

“This place means a lot to you?” G asks her softly.

She looks between me and him, looking unsure.

“You won’t get any judgment from us,” I tell her, holding my hands up.

“After what happened with Bear. I wasn’t in a good place,” she says gently.

G sucks in a sharp breath but doesn’t say anything.

“I couldn’t stay here—to sleep, I mean. I kept busy during the day or I was with the guys, but when it was time to sleep, my dreams kept replaying everything that happened like some fucked-up movie stuck on repeat.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” G asks, but I can hear the strain in his voice.

“You guys were dealing with enough, and I didn’t want to look weak,” she says with a shrug. “I’m not stupid. I know I’m replaceable. And what good is a broken whore? If I couldn’t do my job, you’d kick me out and?—”

“Jesus fuck, Lil. That was never going to happen. I know what you did to protect the others,” he tells her, tears and shame appearing in her eyes. “You kept their focus on you and away from everyone else. You sacrificed yourself for them. How could you ever think we’d give up on you when you never gave up on us?”

Watching them, I’ve realized there’s a lot of unresolved tension in this club from what happened. The betrayal, the violence––it’s left scars that everyone is dealing with and healing from. I might have my own shit to work through, but I’m not the only one. Everyone here is carrying something. We’re just so caught up in our own shit that we don’t notice.

“I couldn’t take that chance,” she whispers as a tear falls down her cheek. G opens his mouth, but Lil continues. “Anyway…” she takes a shaky breath, wiping the tears from her face. “I couldn’t afford to stay anywhere other than the clubhouse, so there were days I just slept outside. As strange as it sounds, I actually felt safer doing that than sleeping here. Eventually, I saved enough to buy my car and slept in it for a while.

“A nurse at the hospital told me about her friend. She was a therapist, which I couldn’t afford, but she was willing to see me if I worked at the shelter she ran a couple of towns over. So that’s what I did. And I think helping out there has helped as much, if not more, than just talking about everything.”

Her eyes widen, and I frown.

“Of course, I didn’t mention the club or what happened here. I told her something happened when I was in college at a frat party…” Her voice trails off as I reach over the bar and grab the back of her wrist.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I appreciate you keeping our secrets, but if you would’ve asked, Blade would’ve found someone for you to talk to and paid them to keep their quiet so you could be honest and get it all off your chest.”

“But if Blade wanted to know, they would’ve told him, and what happened is mine to share. Nobody else’s.” She tugs her arm free.

“You’re right,” I say eventually, and by the look on her face, she wasn’t expecting that.

“Is the new shelter here run by the same person who helped you?” G asks, snapping Lil out of her shock.

She nods. “Yeah. The one she ran before, the building it was in, was torn down for some revitalization project. And there was no other place big enough for her to use, so I suggested she come here, forgetting that I hadn’t been completely honest with her.”

“I doubt she’ll hold it against you. I’m sure plenty of people hold back or tweak shit in therapy.”

Her shoulders relax, and she lets out a breath as some of the tension leaves her body. “Thanks. It’s been really bothering me,” she admits.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Lil,” G repeats.

“I’m just a regular whore using her pussy powers for the greater good,” she snarks, and I can see a spark of the girl she must have been before everything changed for her.

A cough behind us has Lil dropping her head, humiliation clear in her stance.

“You Havoc?”

I look behind me and see a tall, dark-haired guy in his twenties holding out his hand.

“Kieran?”

“That’s me. Hoops said you wanted to talk.”