Chapter 4

Amber

I feel the weight of three pairs of eyes on me, and I take a step backwards. "I texted that I was safe," I remind my mom.

She frowns. "Well, yes, but you didn't come home last night. I was so worried about you."

"She stayed at our house," Aiden's low voice sounds, startling me. I don't know whether to be thankful to him or mad at him for interfering. When I look at him, he just shrugs.

Well, now everybody knows at least. " Yeah, what he said." I walk past them and snag an apple out of the fruit basket and start towards my room.

"You're just going to leave without explaining anything?" Brielle asks.

"Yep. That's what I was planning on." I keep walking.

"Amber Nicole."

I grimace. My mom only uses my full name when she's really not happy with me. I take a steadying breath and turn around. I see the anger in my mom's eyes, and I get it. But the hurt in Bri's eyes makes me flinch. I feel like the walls are closing in around me. "What is going on, Amber? You've been so distant, so...angry. I want to help, but I don't know what to do. You won't let anybody near you. Is it about the guy you're dating. Adam, right?" Bri asks.

My stomach knots, and I feel like I'm going to be sick. Again . Apparently, that's going to be my norm for a while. I looked up morning sickness last night on google too. I panic and try to keep this thing from unraveling. "All right. Fine. Things got a little crazy last night. There was a fight, and I...didn't want to stress you out." I direct my words at my mom.

"With Adam?" Brielle asks, eyes wide. "Oh my goodness! He gave you that black eye?"

I jerk my head back. I really thought I'd covered it well with my covert makeup skills.

"Wait, no, I—"

"You need to file a report."

"Break up with him."

"Aiden will beat him up."

"Wait, everybody stop," I call out, running my hands through my hair. "This is exactly why I didn't come home last night."

"But Amber, if he hurt you," Bri starts, and I can see the concern in her eyes. I look away.

"It wasn't him," I say quietly, but I don't tell them how I got it. I don't think I can handle the humiliation. "There was a fight, though." I look at Aiden. "I'm sorry if your teammates got hurt."

His one eyebrow raises slightly. "Rico fought?"

"Yeah and your captain."

I can tell I've shocked him. "Gunner fought too? What happened?"

"I don't know. They just all started going at it; that's when I got out."

He pulls out his phone as I turn my attention back to my mom and sister. "I'm fine. Really. I just didn't want to come home last night after all that, but it's fine now. I'm fine. I'm really tired, though. I'm going to go up to bed. I have to get up early." I kiss my mom's cheek and give my sister a quick hug. "I'm glad you're back, and you had a good time."

She softens. "You know I love you, right? I'm just worried about you."

Guilt hits me hard, but I manage a nod. "I know. I love you too." After that I start toward my room, but Aiden's voice stops me in my tracks.

"You're dating Adam Grey?"

I close my eyes. I really wish people would stop saying his name tonight. " Was dating," I automatically say.

"Oh, Sweetie," my mom says.

"Wait, who's Adam Grey?" Brielle asks.

I still don't turn around, but I will my brother-in-law to stay quiet. "He's a forward for the Red Devils."

"What?" Bri shrieks. I wince. "Don't you know they're like our biggest rivals?"

That gets me to turn around. "I'm sorry. I didn't really ask about that when we first started dating." I regret snapping immediately.

"You didn't know he played hockey?" Brielle asks.

"I did; I just didn't know it was for their...enemy or whatever," I say gesturing to Aiden.

"Are you okay?" Aiden asks, looking up from his phone. "Rico says it was a rough fight."

Brielle's eyes go wide. "That's what the fight was?"

"Rico needs to keep his mouth shut," I snap. "And you can tell him I said that," I say, nodding at Aiden's phone. Aiden doesn't say anything, but I see the set to his jaw. I've seen that look in my brother-in-law before. It usually doesn't bode well for the other person.

"Yes. I was an idiot. I dated a loser. I didn't know he played for the Red Devils. Yes, there was a huge fight. And Rico and Gunner both got involved. I'm sorry about that too. I didn't mean for any of that to happen. And that's why I stayed away last night. I'm sorry." To my horror, I feel my eyes start to tear. I blink furiously, but it's too late. Brielle's like a homing pigeon to someone that's hurting.

"Oh, Amber. I'm so sorry." She wraps me in a huge hug, trapping my arms at my side. And then Aiden's deep voice sounds again and ruins everything.

"You're pregnant?"

I freeze. Everybody freezes. I pull back and don't look at my mom or Brielle, but the damage is done. "You're pregnant?" I hear the shock and hurt in my sister's voice.

"Amber?" My mom asks, uncertain.

I shake my head, trying to get things back under control. I send a glare at Aiden. "You need to tell Rico to keep his big mouth shut."

"You're pregnant and Rico knows?" Bri asks. "Before us?"

"Amber, how could you?" That's my mom.

"What were you thinking?" Brielle asks.

"When are you due?"

"Is Adam the dad?"

"What are you going to do?"

The room seems to shrink around me, and I wish I could sink into the carpet. "I messed up, okay?" I finally shout over the questions. "Don't you think I know that?" I yell. Silence fills the room. I feel like I can't breathe. "Yes, I got pregnant...to a monster. He hates me and wants nothing to do with me or the...baby." I can barely get the word out. "I'm completely on my own. Single. Still in college. Still living with my mom. I know nothing about being pregnant or becoming a mom. I messed up in the biggest way possible. I thought he loved me, and..." I shake my head and curse myself as emotion cuts off my voice, and the first tear falls.

"Oh, Amber," my mom says, rushing towards me. I stiffen, but she doesn't stop. She wraps her arms around me, and for the first time in over a week I feel like I can breathe. I breathe in her scent and allow it to comfort me. I know I'm not a little girl anymore, but sometimes you just need your mom to hug you and tell you everything's going to be okay.

"I'm sorry," I manage to get out. "I'm so sorry."

"No, hush." Her voice is stern. She pulls back and puts her hands on my shoulders, even though I'm a little taller than her. "You listen to me, daughter of mine." My eyes meet hers, and I see the intensity there. "A baby is the greatest blessing and gift. You will not be sorry for the miracle of life, even if it's not how you would have planned it." A tear drips down my face.

"But I know better," I whisper. "I wasn't going to, but he just kept..." my words fall silent.

"Did he pressure you, Amber?" Brielle's voice is soft but strong. It's a voice I recognize; she's about to go all mama bear on me. Even though she's not my mom, she's always been protective of me. The room is silent as everybody waits for my answer.

"He didn't like...force me," I finally get out.

"But you felt like you had to?" Brielle asks.

"I—" my voice breaks. I swallow. "I'm an adult; I made the choices. Now, I have to deal with the consequences."

"Amber." My sister's voice is full of pain.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

My mom wraps her arms around me, and Brielle joins us in a group hug. And then the tears come in earnest. And then I tell them; it's like I can't keep it in anymore. "I thought he loved me. So, when he asked me over and over again, I thought it was because he just desperately wanted to be with me. He would guilt me; say things like if I really loved him, I'd show him physically. I don't know; he just wore me down over time. I felt so guilty." Shame rushes through me. "So, I finally started doing what he wanted me to."

"Breathe, Baby," my mom says, as she runs her hand down my back.

I swallow and close my eyes. "He used to say terrible things about me in front of his friends, about being a prude and more. I just finally caved. I shouldn't have; I know. I just..."

"He pressured you," Bri says, her voice angry. Brielle doesn't get angry. Ever.

"It's still my fault," I remind her.

She shakes her head and looks away. "When are you due, Sweetheart?" my mom asks.

"I don't know exactly when. I haven't been to the doctor yet."

"When did you find out?" she asks quietly.

I glance at Brielle. Understanding dawns. "It was the day of the wedding, wasn't it?"

I nod, miserable. "I'm sorry."

She snatches my hand and squeezes it in her own. "Amber, would you be mad at me if the circumstances were reversed? If I'd gotten pregnant with a guy that wanted nothing to do with me?"

"No," I say, hating even the thought of that. I love that she's loved by Aiden. "But I got pregnant before you," I whisper.

Her shoulders fall. "Oh, Amber. Is that what you're worried about?" She shakes her head. "Aiden and I absolutely want to get pregnant, but not yet. We're not ready yet. I don't care that you're going to have a baby first." Her eyes light up. "I get to be an aunt!" It's like it just occurred to her.

"And I'm going to be a grandma," my mom says. And then we're all crying. I'm not sure how long we sit together on the couch, but my heart finally begins to lift. The pain and shame I've been carrying dissipates a little. I know it's not gone, but it's at least taken a back seat for now.

"I can't believe you got Rico in a fight," Brielle says with a grin.

"I didn't," I argue. I had nothing to do with it.

Brielle smiles. "I somehow don't think that's true." She suddenly sits up. "Stephanie! I can't wait for her to find out!"

Guilt creeps in. "Um, she already knows."

"What?" Bri shrieks.

"Rico called them last night when I was throwing up in the bathroom at your house."

"Sebastian too? Does everybody but us know?" Bri asks dramatically.

"Sorry."

She sighs, and then it must hit her what I said. "Have you been sick?"

I nod. "Yeah. I'm not sure how much of it has been stress and worry, and how much of it is from being pregnant."

We both look to our mom. "I was really sick with both of you," she says with an apologetic look.

I sigh. "Well, I guess I'd better start looking up some remedies."

We fall silent, each of us lost in our thoughts. "I can't believe you're going to have a baby," Brielle says softly. In that moment, I think it hits me for the very first time.

"Yeah," I say equally soft. I look between my mom and sister. I've been sick about this entire thing, and yet my mom is right. This baby is a gift, a miracle. And I need to start treating it like one. I sit up. "I'm going to call first thing in the morning and try to get in with an OB/GYN."

My mom nods, pride shining in her eyes. "You're going to be okay, Sweetheart."

I look around the room and notice for the first time that Aiden's gone. "Where did Aiden go?"