Chapter 3

Amber

I'm not sure how long it is exactly that I've been locked in this bathroom. Long enough that it's quiet outside the door. I really hope Stephanie and Sebastian are gone; and hopefully, they took Rico with them. I can't face any of them tonight. I think about just going home, but I can that idea quickly. I can't face my mom. Tears of shame and guilt trickle down my cheeks, even though I thought I was done with that. I stare into the toilet and wonder when my life took such a turn. The tears come again, and I close my eyes against the pain, the shame. I don't know how this happened. I mean, I do know; I took basic biology in high school. But I was never this girl; I wasn't the kind of girl to get pregnant with a guy without being in a committed relationship. And therein lies the problem. I thought I was. I thought Adam loved me; I thought we were forever. I thought we had what Brielle and Aiden did. And that's why I let him talk me into being together. I held my ground for so long. We dated for over a year. He always pushed for more, and I held my ground. But then he started telling me things like if I really loved him, I would prove it by being with him. He convinced me that it was the right thing to do—that we were going to get married. What did it matter if we were intimate? Tears blur my vision. It did matter; it mattered a lot. Because now I was pregnant with his baby, and he was with another woman. Images of what I walked in on tonight flash through my mind in rapid succession. Adam in bed with another woman. One of Adam's teammates tried to warn me not to go upstairs, but I thought he was just being a jerk. I so wish I would have listened to him because then I wouldn't be stuck with these images in my mind on repeat. I gag and dry heave into the toilet for the hundredth time tonight. My tears drip into the toilet, and I clutch my stomach.

What am I going to do? That's the same question that's been hurling around my mind for the past few hours. When I found out I was pregnant, the day of Brielle's wedding...of all days...I was angry and sick and ashamed. But I finally talked myself down and told myself that everything would be okay. We would just move the wedding date up. We would get engaged and plan for a wedding in the next few months; it would all work out. I waited for Adam to get back from his series of away games. I convinced myself that everything would be okay. Then tonight, I went over to his house. I shake my head; I was so naive. I thought he loved me; I thought we were forever. And then I find him in bed with another woman. But that's not the worst of it. After I shrieked, maybe screamed, and ran out the door, he came and found me a few minutes later. I was still shaking with grief and anger. He stopped in front of me and said we need to talk. Anger burns inside me at what happened next. "I'm pregnant," I'd blurted out. I was desperate to make this right, to fix it. I thought that would change everything. I cringe as I remember the look on his face, and I knew what he was going to say before he ever said it. Yet, I still can't get his words out of my mind. They're burned into my memory.

Get rid of it.

There's a soft knock at the door. "Amber?"

I recognize Rico's voice. I feel bad that he's still here. How he got involved in the first place is beyond me. I guess Aiden called him. I feel bad about that too. When I was hurt and in shock, I called Brielle. I forgot she was on her honeymoon. I told her not to worry about it, but she pushed me. I finally told her that I was just looking for a ride home but not to worry about it; I'd figure it out. She must have told Aiden, and somehow, Rico showed up for me. If I'd just driven myself, I would have had a car. But I'd gotten a ride to the party from one of Adam's teammates. He was the same one that warned me not to go upstairs. He was one of the nice ones on the team. I really wish I would have listened to him.

"Amber?" Rico says again.

"You can go; I'm fine," I tell him, hoping he'll listen and leave me in peace.

"Stephanie said you have a black eye and a nasty scratch on your arm."

His words give me pause, and I stare at my arm numbly. There is a scratch there, and I have no doubt my eye is bruised. Until now, I hadn't thought about it. It suddenly aches fiercely, and I remember how I got it. An irate woman came at me when I was standing in the hall with Adam. "Who is this?" she shrieked. She grabbed a hold of my arm, and her nails dug into the skin on my arm. By instinct, I yanked my arm away. And then she was all over me. She was like a riled-up tiger. All I know was one minute, I was standing in front of Adam. The next, I was knocked to the floor. Shock dulled my senses; it didn't really hit me that she'd punched me. I thought he'd yell at her, but he didn't. He stared down at me with anger on his face as he physically restrained her from coming at me again.

You should never have come here. His words were full of anger. My stomach clenches at the humiliation. I can't believe I thought he loved me.

"Amber, can you please open the door?"

Rico's voice brings me back to the present. "You don't have to stay; I'm good." I'm hoping he gets the hint and leaves.

"Uh, yeah that's not going to work. Unlock the door please. I just want to make sure you're good, and then I'll leave." He's quiet a moment. "I promise."

Realizing he's not going to go anywhere, I finally push myself to my feet. I rinse my mouth out and make my way over to the door. "Okay. Here I am. Is that good? You can leave now."

I make the mistake of looking up at him. He narrows his eyes and sucks in a breath. "Your eye."

"Hate to break it to you, Goalie. Your face isn't much better." I walk past him.

"Amber, wait."

I whirl around. "I'm pregnant. Okay? So, this isn't something that's going to go away...well, at least for nine months. So please, just...go." I don't look at him. I don't really know him all that well, but he seems nice. I realize he's probably not going to leave unless I make him. So, I walk over to the front door and open it. "You can leave now." I don't meet his eyes because I feel like a jerk; but I'm pretty sure this is the only way he's going to leave. I see the moment he decides to do what I've asked. His shoulders drop slightly, and he blows out a breath. I keep my eyes down as he walks past me out onto the front porch. A quick glance outside shows it's just Rico's car. Stephanie and Sebastian are long gone. He stands in front of me a moment, but I don't look up at him. Then he jogs down the front steps.

"Thank you for picking me up and bringing me here." I regret the words instantly because he stops and turns around. I quickly close the door and lock it. I just couldn't let him leave without at least saying thank you. I rest my head against the door as a feeling of hopelessness I've never felt before rushes over me. I sink to the floor and let the tears come. Again . When I've cried all I can, I finally stand to my feet and make my way to the spare room. I crash on the bed without even changing my clothes, hoping and praying that somehow this all gets better in the morning. Within a few minutes, it's obvious I'm not going to go to sleep. I pull out my phone and stare at. It's cracked; it must have happened during the fight. I close my eyes in frustration; it's just one more thing to top off this horrible night.

The next morning, my alarm goes off, and I open blurry eyes and shut it off. For a few blissful seconds, I lay there peacefully. Then it all comes flooding back. I sit up slowly and hang my head for a few minutes. I finally drag myself out of bed and into the shower in the next room, where Brielle slept. Thankfully, all her shower supplies are still in there.

I have to admit, I do feel a little better after a shower. I put my hair up in a messy bun and throw on some of Brielle's clothes. I'm a little taller, but I make it work. I don't even bother with makeup before making my way to Aiden's kitchen. I'm just about to make a cup of coffee when I stop. "Can I even have coffee?" I realize I'm going to have to figure this all out. I stayed up way too late last night googling on my broken phone pregnancy and what it all entails. I search Aiden's stash and don't find any decaf. With a sigh, I grab my wallet and head outside where I promptly stop. I squeeze my eyes shut. I don't have my car because it's at my mom's house, where I left it before all this happened last night and I caught a ride to the party. I put in for an Uber and sit down to wait.

Twenty minutes later, I'm in the back of a car with a driver that's way too chipper this early in the morning. I make it safely to campus and head towards my first class. I don't have any of my things. I'm hoping I can fake my way through this morning, get through my shift at the library, and then get home tonight and try to regroup.

The day drags. Even my shift at the library isn't enough to bring me out of my funk. I finally make it home in yet another Uber. I considered crashing at Aiden's house again, but I need to go home and face reality...AKA my mom. She blew up my phone this morning when she realized I never came home last night. With a sigh, I close the car door. "Thanks for the ride," I tell the Uber driver and make my way inside. I hear voices and pause. Dread fills me. It's Brielle and Aiden. I'd totally lost count of the days and forgot they were coming home today. I'm just about to turn around and sneak back outside when Brielle comes out from the kitchen and sees me.

"Amber." And then I'm engulfed in a tight hug. I swallow hard, willing the emotion away.

"Amber?" my mom's voice reaches my ears. "I've been so worried about you. Where were you last night? Why didn't you come home?"

Brielle looks between the two of us. "You didn't come home last night?" she asks.

Both of them stare at me, and I feel cornered. My breathing speeds up, and I feel like I'm going to be sick. Aiden comes around the corner, and I reach out for the lifeline. "Aiden, hey. Welcome back. How was the honeymoon?"

He looks at my sister, and his face softens. I nearly turn away; sometimes, I can't handle the two of them. They're so in love.

"It was good," he says.

"Amber, where were you last night?" My mom asks.

I realize there's no getting out of this.