51. Xander

51

XANDER

C oming back to Olney was strange. Though Xander had been back once for Rainer and Cece's wedding, he was struck each time he entered the summer kingdom by how a place could go from being foreign to home and back to foreign again. Now, standing on the beach below Cece's cottage, he was drawn right back in time, though this time he had his wife, his consort, and his son beside him.

Xander's bare feet hit the cool sand and his eyes locked on Cece. He was struck by her stillness first. Restless, aimless Cece, who never seemed to stop moving, stood impossibly still at the water's edge. If ever there was a sign of her contentment, that was it.

She turned as if sensing his eyes on her and grinned. "Xander."

She looked tired but lovely in a simple light blue cotton dress embroidered with tiny flowers, the sleeves hanging off her slim shoulders and the bodice clinging to her curves, accentuating her slightly fuller figure. Her hair was pinned back save for a few stray curls that framed her face. Her cheeks were flushed from the ocean breeze and her eyes brightened with joy as she walked toward him. It was clear that motherhood agreed with her, not that he'd had any doubt .

Rainer must have been nearby, but Xander couldn't take his eyes off of Cece. He'd seen her transform before his eyes so many times. From uncertain huntress to terrifying goddess to sensitive mortal woman whose love had saved them all. This new transformation into someone calm and self-contained and so utterly at peace was the one he didn't know he needed to see.

"My love, every time I see you, I think it's impossible for you to be more lovely, and yet somehow here you are, more stunning than ever." Xander grinned and kissed her cheek.

"And you are as excessive a flirt as ever." She hugged him.

No matter how much time passed, having Cece in his arms felt good. His old love for her was like a splinter lodged in his heart, long healed over, the ache dulled by familiarity. That was just what it was to care. That pain was a remnant of unspent love and it was more distant than it had ever been. What existed now was grounded, tamer, and in some ways more real.

Long ago, she'd stoked a wild longing that he didn't know he possessed until she drew it out of him. She'd wedged something into the darkest part of his heart—a place he thought nothing could reach—and like a door propped open, he couldn't shut the world out anymore. Love got in.

And he was glad for it because he did not know until that light shined in just how much he'd withered in the dark.

Jessamin stepped forward to hug Cece.

"It is so good to see you. You look gorgeous as always. Now, where is he? I have been so excited to lay eyes on this handsome prince," Cece said, her eyes darting behind them.

Teddy toddled forward clumsily, gripping the back of Jessamin's dress and peeking shyly around her legs at Cece.

Xander's son had skin somewhere between his olive and his wife's brown, but his face and hazel eyes were just like Xander's. It was a wonder to behold Teddy's sharp mind and bubbling laugh every day. He had a joy so much like that of the late friend after whom they'd named him.

Cece knelt in the sand, her eyes wide with joy. "Oh my gods, look at him. He's going to be so handsome. He looks so much like both of you. Hello, Teddy, I'm your Aunt Cece."

She reached out a hand but Teddy buried his face in Jessamin's dress.

"He's in a shy phase. He'll warm up in a few minutes," Jessamin said.

Soon Rainer strode toward the group of them with a baby in his arms. "Your Graces," he said with a bow, holding up his daughter. "Meet Stella McKay."

Xander's chest warmed at the sight of her. "As if I wouldn't recognize that face," he said. "She looks just like her mother, thank the gods. No offense, McKay."

He expected Rainer to joust with him but he simply looked enamored with his daughter as he handed her to Xander.

Stella grinned at Xander and for a moment he could do nothing but stare. She looked so much like Cece with her fair skin and wild curls. She blinked up at him, her large green eyes curious.

"Goddess bless. She's beautiful, Rainer," Jessamin said softly.

"She is," Xander said.

Rainer laughed. "She's also incredibly smart and, gods help us, a bit daring like her mother. She's already trying to walk and extremely frustrated that she can't."

"You must love that," Xander chuckled.

"You'd be surprised to learn that one of us is quite used to worrying over a tiny, reckless brunette, and the other is brand new to the experience," Rainer said, his gaze flashing to Cece.

Sure enough, Cece looked on, her brow creased with concern.

Xander looked at Stella again. She let out a loud squeal and grinned at him.

"Stella, I expect you will lay the world at your feet like your mother," he said softly.

She chose that exact moment to spit up on him.

Xander chuckled. "Yes, it seems you're just like her. Won't have a man telling you what to do, king or not."

Stella grinned at him and giggled joyfully .

Rainer couldn't have looked prouder of his daughter's ability to vomit at such a convenient time. Cece rushed over with a cloth to clean him up, but Xander waved her off.

"It's fine. I got used to it with Teddy," he said, gesturing to his son, standing a few paces back with Maren and Isla, whom Xander's gaze lingered upon.

Though Isla had not agreed to be his official consort, Xander wasn't giving up. As far as pretty much anyone at court was concerned, Isla was the king's paramour and the Argarian huntmaster. No one had so much as batted an eye. Xander had made such little fanfare about it that the people who'd initially been eager for gossip about his and Jessamin's unconventional relationship lost interest entirely.

Life was certainly not easy, but it was peaceful. He'd settled into a love with Isla that was passionate but also steady and reliable. It was a grown-up love.

"I am shocked my husband gave her up!" Cece teased as she looked at her daughter in Xander's arms. "Rainer is an unbearable baby hog. I rarely get to hold her myself these days."

Rainer just wrapped an arm around Cece and kissed her in a way that was not wholly appropriate for public consumption.

Sylvie appeared behind them, rolling her eyes. "Gods, you two. Get a room, honestly," she said, giving voice to Xander's thoughts.

Cece giggled as she pulled away, her eyes still locked with Rainer's.

"You keep kissing her like that and we'll have a whole brood of these beautiful little green-eyed babies in no time," Sylvie huffed, stealing Stella from Xander's arms. "Come here, darling, let your Aunt Sylvie tell you how to work all of these poor suckers who can't stop looking at how cute you are."

Evan grinned at his wife as she walked the baby over to him. "Is Stella as bossy as her mother?" he called from where he sat in the sand.

Cece shot him a dirty look .

"I'm not even going to touch that one," Rainer said, kissing Cece on the top of the head before he followed Sylvie.

Xander met Cece's gaze. "Walk with me, love."

He held his arm out and she threaded hers through it.

"Teddy's getting so big. I can't believe he's already walking," she said.

"The time flies. I can't believe it myself and I see him every day. Jessamin has insisted we not just use nannies but it's stressful to run a kingdom and chase after a toddler. He is an absolute menace, but we adore him, even now that he manages to sprint around the castle," Xander sighed. "Stella is beautiful. She looks just like you."

Cece's eyes lit up. "She is. Gods, Xan, I never thought I'd get to have that. I can't believe I'm so wrecked and worried all the time about someone who can't even walk."

"You'll get used to it. She'll be fine because you made this world for her. You made a place where she could be safe," Xander soothed, rubbing a hand on her arm.

She nodded.

"Will you have more?" he asked.

Cece laughed. "If Rainer has anything to say about it. He's practically been begging me, but I refuse to relent so soon. I haven't even gotten my body back from this baby yet. Does it make me ungrateful that I'd like to have it to myself for a few months before I'm getting kicked by another of Rainer McKay's little warrior babies? I swear to the gods, I thought Stella was just going to fight her way out toward the end."

Xander laughed. "He just loves you. He seems very doting."

"Oh my gods, you have no idea. There has never been a more spoiled child in the two kingdoms. She can't even speak, and she already has him wrapped around her finger. He's so wonderful with her," Cece said.

"As if there was any doubt," Xander said.

She gave his arm an affectionate squeeze. "How are things at home?"

"Loud but very good. Trying to very slowly shift toward more collective governance. I think it could be really good. Evan and Sylvie keep me honest, but they do such great work and I have more free time than I ever expected. Though it's nice to have the family time with Jess and Teddy."

She smiled. "You two seem very happy."

"We are. She's an incredible friend and I love her dearly. Maren is also wonderful. And, of course, I have Isla."

She frowned. "And how is that?"

"I love her very much, though she makes me work for my daily maybe."

Cece laughed. "You're still doing that?"

Xander couldn't stop smiling. "I hope it never stops."

She drew him to a stop. "You don't want to know for sure?"

"I know for sure every day. Every day she chooses to stay with nothing tethering her to me—and did you see her hand?"

Cece whipped her head around to stare at Isla, who was speaking with Mika by the edge of the surf. He waited for her to see it. Isla pressed a hand to her chest, laughing at something Mika had said, and the ring on her left hand caught the sunlight.

Cece gasped. "Is that?—"

"My mother's ring? Yes."

"So she said yes to being consort?"

He couldn't help but laugh at the sheer delight on Cece's face. "She's just trying it on."

Cece pursed her lips. "Oh, I see. Just giving it a test run."

Xander felt lit up by triumph. "I'm winning her over. There are so many ways to love, Cece. I have so much love in my life and I'm happy. You are, too. I can see it."

She grinned at him. "I am."

"The two of you are disgustingly in love as usual. I must admit I'm surprised to see you looking so relaxed with such a little one. It can be hard to find down time for personal attention ."

She narrowed her eyes at him, her cheeks growing pinker. "I don't know what you mean."

"I'm quite certain you do," Xander teased. "Happy to see motherhood has done nothing to dampen your appetites, love. He's a very lucky man."

"Please continue to remind him," she laughed, looking over her shoulder at her husband.

Xander glanced at Rainer, whose eyes were trained on Cece's ass.

"Seems he already knows," Xander laughed.

"Xan, you should write more. You know I'm here for you. No pressure. But I'm happy to be a sounding board or to talk through things with you. Plus, I get a laugh out of making Grim play messenger."

Xander chuckled. A cool breeze blew in off the sea and he took a deep breath of the salty air, the scent tugging at a pattern in his memory. He knew if he pulled it up, he'd see all the interconnected memories of the Adiran Sea.

"All right, I promise I'll get back to it. I was giving you a break because I knew how exhausted you were after Stella was born," he said.

"I always have time for you, love. Don't forget it, okay?"

He nodded toward Stella. "I suppose this means I'm relegated to your second favorite person in the world now."

She burst out laughing. "You wish. The good news is that you are still in the top three."

"I'm afraid I have to bump you down to fourth favorite—what with my handsomeness and so many women vying for my attention," he taunted.

She stuck her bottom lip out into a pout. "I suppose I'll have to learn to live with it."

"Perhaps some lemon cakes will soften the blow," Xander said, gesturing to where Maren knelt on a blanket in the sand, reaching into a picnic basket.

Cece smirked. "You still know the way to my heart." She pressed onto her toes and kissed his cheek. Then she dashed across the sand toward the sweets.

Isla wandered over to him as if she hadn't been standing just far enough away to eavesdrop .

"Keeping secrets, darling?" she said, threading her fingers through his.

"I have no secrets from you. Your jealousy is thrilling, though unwarranted. We were talking about you," Xander said.

She tipped her chin up defiantly. "What about me?"

"She saw the ring and wanted to know if I'd made an honest consort out of you yet."

"And what did you say?"

He tugged her body against his, brushing his lips over hers. "I said that you make me honest and that is good enough for me."

Isla smiled and pulled him into a kiss.

Xander had married Cece out of reckless love and Jessamin out of necessity, but his relationship with Isla was a love that grew out of loss. It was trust that grew up through ground that had been slashed and burned, making more fertile soil for years to come. Theirs was a love that grew from hope .

He'd come through more trials than he ever expected and he'd learned the value of honesty. He had a wonderful wife, a sweet son, a love worth risking heartbreak for again, and a kingdom that was healing from old wounds. He'd done what he promised Davide he would. He'd named his fear and he'd made Argaria better, and it was so much more than he dreamed for himself.

Xander Savero was a man with no secrets left and that was how he liked it.