46. Rainer

46

RAINER

R ainer stared out at the calm sea, breathing in the salty air and tilting his head back in the sunshine. It was a beautiful spring day, as if the gods recognized that they owed Rainer and Cecilia good weather for their wedding. He supposed with so many of them related to the bride, and in attendance, that might have been the case.

His stomach fluttered, though not with nervousness about marrying Cecilia so much as nervousness about forgetting all the heartfelt things he wanted to say. This day had been a lifetime in the making and he wanted every single thing to be perfect for Cecilia because she had fought so hard for him and for herself. She deserved a wedding worthy of all she'd been through.

Healing was hard work. His mind was filled with holes still and every time he found one, he was so angry with himself for forgetting—so baffled how there could still be gaps. And she would patiently place her hand in his and stitch his mind back together. The month leading up to this day had been challenging for both of them, but he'd found no better medicine than her love.

He looked out over the crowd, his gaze landing on the empty chairs placed in remembrance of all their lost family. Chairs for Leo and Rosalee Reznik, for Selene Carrick, for Teddy, and for Magdalena. Just looking at the Argarian healer's apron hanging over the seat made Rainer feel a pang of guilt. Finally, he looked at the chair for his mother, Maura.

He'd been thinking of her a lot in the days since he'd kicked Raymond McKay out of his life. He'd spent so much of his childhood angry at Maura for not leaving Raymond, for not doing more to protect Rainer. Now that he was grown, he could see how their life might have been if she'd left. Rainer's whole future would have been clouded by scandal. He never would have had any of the opportunities that opened to him because of Raymond's conniving. He probably would have never been bonded to Cecilia.

Rainer often thought of his mother's words: " Someday you will be old enough to need those fairy tales again. "

When Maura had said those words to him as a child, he'd felt so certain that he had outgrown them. But now, on a beautiful spring day, waiting for the love of his life, who'd stood between him and death and the oblivion of memory loss and loved him still, he finally knew what his mother meant. Those stories were the map that had brought him home to Cecilia over and over. He was finally old enough to need those fairy tales again.

He turned and caught Cal's eye. His friend threw an arm over his shoulder. "Finally doing what Sylvie and I always knew you would. It's about time."

Rainer rolled his eyes, and his gaze landed on Xander. The Argarian king crossed the sand to meet them.

"Nice crown," Rainer said, nodding to the jagged golden lightning bolt crown on Xander's head.

He rolled his eyes. "Jess insisted. Always trying to style me for the most drama."

"As if you've ever needed the help," Rainer said.

Xander grinned. "Exactly." He glanced out at the crowd before meeting Rainer's eye. "I'm sure you don't need me to tell you you're making the best decision of your life," he said. "She looks stunning, so just try not to get knocked over by the sight of her and you'll be okay."

Rainer felt an unexpected burst of affection for his old rival. He yanked Xander into a hug.

When Xander pulled back, he was grinning. "All right, don't fuss. Just take care of our girl."

He retreated to sit between Jessamin and Isla. The queen took his hand, but he and Isla stared at each other as she affectionately brushed his hair back from his forehead. It was good to see Xander so happy. It figured it would take not one but two exceptional women to rein in the king of Argaria.

The musicians began to play as King Marcos arrived with Queen Ilani. Queen Regent Elena followed them and placed an affectionate kiss on Rainer's cheek before taking her seat.

Marcos took his place at the center of the wisteria arch that Sylvie had constructed. Rainer stood beside him, the ocean at his back, his gaze focused beyond the smiling faces of their loved ones, waiting for Cecilia. They'd fashioned a curtain at the bottom of the cliff trail so Rainer wouldn't see her until it was time.

The music changed and Sylvie and Mika stepped out, pulling the curtains wide to reveal Cecilia arm in arm with Aunt Clara.

Cecilia was smiling, her eyes already locked on his, and the air punched out of Rainer's lungs at the sight of her walking toward him.

The closer she strode, the harder it was to breathe, his chest tightening to the point of lightheadedness. Cal tapped his arm and he finally took a startled breath.

As she made it to the end of the aisle, Rainer could finally take in the details of her dress. It started pale blue like the traditional Olney wedding color but grew darker and darker until it was a midnight-blue at the hem and all across it were beaded and embroidered stars. She looked like the Summer Firestorm meteor shower, stars pinned in her hair and cascading in all directions over the dress. The neckline plunged, revealing the golden scar on her chest, and each time she took a step forward, the silk billowed, showing a glimpse of her right leg through the slit .

Something inside of Rainer snapped, unstoppable tears streaking down his cheeks.

He bit back a laugh because, although he was falling apart, Cecilia smiled brightly as she closed the distance between them.

Cecilia, who was so known by everyone for extreme emotions, stayed very calm, shedding only a few gentle tears, while Rainer dissolved into an absolute wreck.

By the time Aunt Clara took her seat in the front row next to Mika, Lyra, and Sylvie, Cecilia was trying not to laugh.

She reached her hand up to cup Rainer's cheek.

"You look like a lifetime of wishes come true," he whispered, his voice hoarse.

Was it possible he'd spent his life trying to hold off lightning that was poised to strike every time he looked at her? Cecilia was a storm he'd never acclimated to. He felt just as stunned by her walking toward him in her beautiful dress as he ever did and he was struck by the intensity of his love for her, as he'd always been.

Cecilia sent a surge of calm through their bond, a wide, knowing smile on her face as Rainer fell apart. It should have been humiliating, but she was obviously charmed by it. He couldn't believe how wise and grown up she managed to look without the world-weariness that had weighed on her just months before.

Rainer had her, lost her, won her over, lost her again, and finally, finally they found their way back to each other. So he cried and she held it together and she squeezed his hand to anchor him. When he managed to clear his eyes, he almost started back up again at how beautiful she looked.

Their wedding felt both impossible and inevitable. In his heart, he'd always known this was where they were headed. There were many moments when he'd had reason to doubt, but now, holding her hands, it felt like they were meant to be. Through death and war and the grief that came after, their love endured.

Marcos started the ceremony. Rainer could hardly focus on the king's words. He was too transfixed by Cecilia's beautiful face.

When it came time to say their vows, Rainer desperately tried to hold it together and remember what he wanted to say, but when Cecilia started to speak she stole every thought from his head.

"Rainer Jordan McKay, this has been a very long time coming. What took you so long?" Cecilia said.

Everyone laughed and he fell in love with her all over again for making him laugh when he felt so overwhelmed.

"I was fortunate to have a lot of good examples of love in my life. My father taught me devotion, my mother taught me compassion, and Aunt Clara taught me how to make a fuss over someone. But you taught me to love myself. You believed in me when I didn't. You pretended to have courage when I was afraid. You reminded me who I was when I lost myself. You have been the one constant in a real whirlwind of a life. I have been so many things: a huntress, a witch, a princess, and a goddess. But by far, my favorite thing to be is your love. You have protected me, but more importantly, you taught me how to protect myself. You put your faith in me whether I deserved it or not. You're the best listener and my favorite storyteller."

Rainer squeezed her hands in his, trying not to crush her delicate fingers as he struggled to contain his emotions.

"I promise to do my best to abandon my on-again, off-again relationship with danger. I promise to make you laugh when you're taking things too seriously, to find each and every one of your worries and fix them in a hurry." She brushed her thumb over the crease in his brow and Rainer laughed. "I promise to never stop dreaming along with you because this story—our story—is worth telling."

Rainer kissed her fingers as she continued.

"We fought hard for this. It would have been easy to give up. Love is hard, even when it's as easy as loving you. But through a lot of hard-fought battles, I know the truth: Love is the last hard thing worth having—" Her voice broke, and a tear slid down her cheek. "I love you for way too many reasons to go into because I know we want to get on to the celebration, so I'll stick with this: you reminded me that love means loneliness is a matter of perception. You reminded me that no matter how lonely I feel, I am never actually alone because you're always right beside me when I need you. You've held on to my hurts along with me. You've made every burden of mine one you share. Your heart is wrapped around mine and no one has ever taken such good care of it."

Rainer swallowed hard, unsure how much longer he could keep even the smallest semblance of composure.

Cecilia squeezed his hands. "I promise to be brave with my hand and brave with my heart when it comes to you because you have always been worth the risk. Seventeen years ago, I promised you my magic and my life. Today, I promise you my heart and my soul because you've always had them anyway."

Rainer lost it. He couldn't pull himself together and Cecilia could barely contain her laughter. She cupped his face in her small hands and he leaned his forehead against hers.

"Is this how you feel all the time when I cry?" she whispered.

Beside him, Cal coughed to cover a laugh as Cecilia brushed away Rainer's tears, holding his face in her soft hands. He was a mess and he didn't care who knew it.

Raymond McKay had been so completely wrong. Love wasn't a fool's errand and it didn't make kingdoms crumble. It made Rainer strong, and it made Cecilia strong, too.

It was good to be a fool in love. In fact, it was the best feeling in the world. He was madly in love with Cecilia Reznik and he didn't care who knew it.

Rainer took a deep breath, took her hands, and spoke the words he'd been holding back their whole lives.