Epilogue

Allegra

14 February

The delivery boy places the brown paper bag on the corner of my desk with a smile before leaving again. I wish I could smile in return, but I’m way too stressed out. Inside that simple brown paper bag is the answer to a question I have been evading. The rest of my life will be determined by what is in that bag.

Taking a deep breath, I stand up and walk to the door of my office and flick the lock. I grab the bag on my way past my desk into the ensuite bathroom. I empty the contents of the bag into the white porcelain basin before grabbing the box. I read the instructions carefully before lifting the toilet seat lid.

I wait long moments before I am able to pee on the damn stick.

Afterward, I place the test on the box beside the basin and wash my hands. I close the toilet lid and sit down. I set a two-minute timer on my phone and wait. My mind is blank. No thoughts, no fear. Just, nothing.

When the timer goes off, I pick up the test and stare at the little pink plus sign. I knew I was pregnant; this is just confirmation.

Throwing the test into the trashcan, I make my way back to my desk after unlocking the door. I sit there for long minutes before taking my phone in hand.

Me: We need to talk

Bishop: Who is this?

Me: Allegra

Bishop: We agreed. One night only

My heart hurts reading those words. I’ve waited for almost two months for him to come to me. My body aches for him, begging him to come back. But he kept his word. One night only, no strings attached. What I feel doesn’t matter. We agreed.

The only problem with that is, he gave me more than just a single perfect night. Bishop gave me the best Christmas of my entire life. And now his gift just keeps on giving.

Me: It’s not like I want a booty call. Stop being an asshole

Bishop: There’s no reason for us to talk

Me: You don’t have to talk but I do need you to listen. Will you please meet me?

Bishop: It’s a bad idea. We shouldn’t

Me: I don’t want to do this over the phone

My sadness has been replaced with anger. I’m not asking him to marry me, just to have a fucking conversation.

Bishop: Then don’t

Me: Fine. Have it your way

Me: I’m pregnant. I don’t want or need anything from you, I just thought you should know. I’m keeping my baby

A moment after I hit send, my phone starts ringing. Bishop.

“Now you want to talk to me?” I ask angrily when I answer. “Fuck you.”

“Allegra…”

“Don’t fucking Allegra me, you prick. I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“Please,” he says, begging before I can end the call.

“What do you want? Why do you care now?” I can hear the sadness in my voice. “Suddenly, you want to know what is going on? I didn’t have to tell you; I could have kept it to myself.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Because I wanted you to have a chance to know your child,” I say softly. “To be better than your father was.”

I hear his harsh breathing on the other end of the line.

“I’m sorry,” he says. A long moment of silence passes between us. “I miss you.”

“Don’t do that. You’ve had two months. If you wanted to see me, you knew where I was,” I say flatly. “If you want to see your kid and be part of his or her life, fine. But don’t act like I was anything more than a fun lay.”

“Stop. Don’t try to make what happened between us sound like some sordid fling.”

“But it was,” I say. “And now we get to deal with the consequences.”

“Allegra...”

“I’ll keep you updated in regard to the baby. Anything else is off limits.”

I end the call and switch off my phone. I can’t talk to him anymore. His words are the words I’ve wanted to hear since I drove away from him that morning. It’s just a pity he is only saying them because of the baby. It’s too little too late.

The first tear of what I know will be many tracks down my cheek and I swipe at it angrily. I will not cry over a man. Especially not Bishop.

The End