22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Gisett

So... Laura runs away from me with that human. And that's after I refused to talk to her.

I stare at her back, gritting my teeth as the fire simmers in me. I know what to do in this instance — keep being a statue. But knowing what to do and doing what I should do is different. One is far harder than the other.

If it were up to me, I'd jump and run over to her, keeping her for myself. But I can't do that, even though my wings ache and hurt to do that.

She continues down the road, soon disappearing behind the gate that leads to the teaching buildings.

I'm such a failure...

I close my eyes and spread my wings a bit more. The sun is here anyway. I guess I may as well enjoy it. It could be... raining...

Maybe I don't bring the best luck, the clouds are gathering, which isn't a great sign...

When are we out of the rainy season?

The day is long when I have nothing to look forward to. Laura shouldn't have that kind of power over me, but...

I miss her.

But she won't miss me.

It is getting darker and darker as the sun sets, but there's no sign of her, not even her scent.

There's only one road leading to the dorm building unless she plans to walk through the woods and bushes.

She won't do that, right? I'm not that important and she won't bother to do all that just to avoid me. I'm just a statue.

I sigh. If I weren't a gargoyle, she would give me a chance.

For once, I don't want to be a gargoyle...

I shiver when her scent comes from a distance. Maybe she's heading home. I can't be there with her, and she won't hug me, but watching her isn't that bad.

It takes a while. Her legs are shorter than mine, so I guess it is going to take even longer before she arrives.

I miss her...

My throat gets tight when she shows up, but so does the fucking boy who follows her everywhere. I sneer at them.

Why?

What makes that fucking guy better than me? Just because he's a human? Just because it is so important to be dating a human?

I clench a fist, trying to push down the flame that threatens to burst out of me.

She glances at me but looks away soon after.

The guy keeps talking to her and she seems happy. They chat as they go down the path, where I can't watch anymore.

Now that she's back home, maybe I can be somewhere else.

At the door to the bar in the gargoyle's dungeon, I pause. It's not that I can't be here, but... I'm usually only once a month, yet... This is far away from yet another month since a few days ago.

Mckur is going to have so much to say.

I take my hand back to myself, hoping no one has found out that I'm here. Maybe I should stay at the campus. It can't be that bad.

As Laura said, she and I weren't even dating to begin with. She didn't reject me, she was just... never interested.

I wonder which stings harder.

The door shifts and moves. I take a step back, not knowing whether I should run to leave or pretend I've just arrived.

Mckur's at the other side of the door, he watches me with his head tilted to the side. "So, I smell a gargoyle, then I wonder why no one's coming in."

I huff. "There are gargoyles everywhere around here, what do you even mean?"

He sighs as if he's telling me to stop with the nonsense. I roll my eyes. "I mean it. We know only gargoyles are here."

He gestures into the bar. "Come, tell me what you need, champ."

I hiss. "Stop acting as if I don't belong. Otherwise, if you want me gone, I can leave."

"Hey, that's not what I mean, come on. Just come inside, I'm not standing here with you for long." He opens the door wider for me.

I walk through the door, hoping no one's inside. The music is pretty loud but tolerable. Before Mckur goes to tone it down, I stop him. I don't need the attention.

It is pretty dim here, so there's a chance no one sees me.

"Champ, you don't have to be... Wait... Did something happen in the campus? Are those devils back at it? Do you need—"

I lift a hand to stop him. "The campus is fine. Nothing comes along to threaten it."

"Okay... But you seem... defeated."

I sigh. "Give me something." I take a seat at the bar table. "Anything."

"I told you that's called let the bartender choose."

I glare at him. I'm not in the mood for this stupidity. I just want to be drunk or do something that can turn my mind off.

He shrugs. "Okay, champ. I get it. Papa Mckur knows everything."

I suck in a breath, fighting to let it out slowly to calm myself. He's not going to stop grinding my gear. He's not my father, but... every gargoyle seems to find Mckur to be the father figure here. He does take care of everyone, but I'm not calling him Papa Mckur, not ever. How old are we? Come on...

He chuckles. "Don't you hate hearing that, huh?"

He pours liquor into the mixing jar swiftly. I'm not sure whether he knows what he's doing. All he does is pour everything in, doing it so quickly that it feels like he isn't paying attention to what he's putting into the jar.

But I'm here and it's too late to back out of the mysterious mixture. I hope I won't spend the night in the toilet from that... purple thing.

He pours the content, which I can't even name into a glass, handing it to me. The liquid dances as the glass is set on the table. "Here you go."

I swear something shimmers inside the liquid. "What did you put in it?"

"Faerie's dust."

I stare at him, not sure whether I should take him seriously.

He nods. "Surprised, huh? My guy brought that in today. I was going to tell you, but you're here already. Did you catch wind of that?"

I take a sip of the drink. It is spicy. I don't understand the combination. "Is faerie's dust supposed to be spicy?"

"A tad bit. Depends on species."

I lift the glass and stare at the liquid. "How did the guy come into possession of such a thing?"

"Right? But that's the hunter's secret."

I nod. "I get it."

Faerie's dust is the nickname of the glittery powder from a very rare type of fungi that is rumored to only live in the cleanest mountain with the best air, soil, water, and everything imaginable. The powder is said to be able to heal whatever injuries are out there.

I don't believe every part of that myself. Some parts have to be exaggerated by the hunters so that they can sell stuff for more.

The powder is good for health, probably, but it's not perfect and that magical.

There's a surge of heat swirling inside my stomach. Maybe it has to do with the faerie's dust, or maybe it's just the alcohol.

Mckur watches me with eager eyes again. I roll my eyes. I don't want to entertain him. Maybe I should have stayed on the campus to save my trouble. There won't be alcohol, but there won't be anyone to interrupt me either.

His gaze remains on me for another moment before he sighs. "I mean... I want you to be comfortable when you're here."

I take another sip of my drink. I want to be comfortable when I'm here too. The music is fine for me today. If it is louder, or if I stay here for longer, it may be able to drown my thoughts. The other gargoyles have enough respect for me that they won't talk to me unless they have to. I'm pretty well known as the one who doesn't talk much, except Mckur has yet to get a notice.

He works on a few other drinks for others while I stare at my own glass.

Why doesn't Laura want me?

She told me, but I refused to take that as an answer. There has to be something more to that, right?

Just because I'm a gargoyle?

I have nice wings...

Maybe I'm a disappointment even though I tried to impress her.

Why?

I hate losing her without even knowing the reason for it. When it comes to her, it feels like I haven't even started to fight, but it's over.

A heavy hand finds its way to my shoulder. It is Mckur again. He has a light frown. "Do you want to talk? Or be somewhere quiet?"

I nod. I don't want to think, but I can't do anything about that. My legs are heavy, and I don't like my wings.

Maybe Laura doesn't like wings. I move the tip of my wings, trying to stretch them, but not really trying. Maybe the wings are too stiff for her.

Mckur brings me to one of the meeting rooms downstairs. This is near the chamber for the chanting, which we sometimes use after the ritual. It is darker here than the outside. There's no artificial wall here other than the door. The rest are stones from the cave itself.

I let out a breath. This place is cooler than upstairs, so it may be able to cool my head too.

There's a round table for gargoyles to chat and enjoy a drink or two. There are chairs around it, which I put my slumping body onto.

Mckur puts my glass of drink on the table, which I didn't remember to take with me. He sits next to me. "Look, something's wrong, huh?"

I don't want to talk about that. I take a sip of my drink, willing the pain in my chest to be gone.

He remains by my side and doesn't even care about my silence. He should know better than stay here, but he keeps thinking everyone likes him and wants his presence in the room.

I close my eyes when the burn from the alcohol surges in me. I need more of that to keep myself sane. This may not be the best way to flee from my trouble, but I'm doing what helps.

He chuckles. "Don't choke from drinking too quickly."

I grunt but almost choke doing that.

He sighs and shakes his head, but a faint smile remains on his face. I hiss at him. "Just shut up and leave me alone."

"What happened? It has been a while since I saw you this dejected. Is that with your new friend?"

"I don't have a new friend."

He leans closer to me as if he's sniffing me once again. "But you do, right? Or did."

I grit my teeth, resisting the urge to punch him in the face. Despite my fist aching to do just that, I know better than that.

He pats my shoulder. "Tell me, what did she say?"

"Why must you insist that she even exists?"

"Who are we fooling? Don't you forget I watched almost everyone grow up? Since you were a small gargoyle, I've been taking care of you. There was that time--"

"Fine, fine..." I roll my eyes so hard that my eyeballs may fall out of their sockets. I don't need a dose of my embarrassing past, which Mckur seems to remember, while I don't. Maybe I was too young to have memories of those times, but I still don't need the reminder.

He smiles. "Then you get my point."

I down the rest of the drink, letting the heat linger in my throat. "She said... she doesn't want to date a gargoyle."

He scowls. "Why? What's she? A human?"

I nod. "Yeah... A human female. I mean... I don't think I can, or should convince her to give a gargoyle a try, so..."

He hisses and rubs his hands together. "No way. We're gargoyles and we are awesome. Who doesn't like wings and strong arms that are sturdy like stones?"

"She's free to think whatever she wants."

"Not wrong, but she should give you a chance and get to know how amazing you are."

I shrug. Maybe I don't really hate him, it's just...

He stands and sends the chair squeaking. "We have to show her how amazing—"

"No, leave her alone."

"But it's not fair to you. She can say you're an ass and that'll be a better reason to reject you over you being a gargoyle. Now that I think about it, as a gargoyle myself, I have to fix that."

"Stop that... You know that humans don't know a lot about us. She doesn't even know we exist until a short while ago. I think..." I run my finger along the glass, wiping away the water droplets on it. "Maybe I scared her. maybe she thinks that gargoyles are scary."

"Well... I can't say for others, but you surely can be intimidating."

I hiss. "You know that I'm only intimidating against our enemies."

He sighs. "Yeah, not wrong."

I rub my temple. "I guess it is what it is. I'll have to watch them together until they graduate and get out of the college."

"Wait... She's with someone else already?"

I nod. I suck as a gargoyle and I'm a shame to everyone. "I suppose. She said that she's going to be with a human, so... Maybe she has been wanting to date that one. She said that she could never be out in the open with me, and that... she wants to be normal like other humans, which means no gargoyle.

Mckur grunts. "That's wild. I can't stand that even when I'm not you. I'll get us more drinks!" He storms out of the meeting room with wings poised. Even his belly juggles as he walks, which has to take quite some movement to move that size of fat.

But this isn't the time to mock him, even though he won't care and always laughs at his beer belly. I just... don't know what to do.

Logically, it's not that big of a deal. It's just a female doesn't want me as her mate. I'm not dead and no one's dying.

It doesn't take long before Mckur's footsteps come from the door. He stomps on the staircases as if they annoyed him.

"I'm back, champ." He puts two jugs of beer. "Here, we're going to drink together."

I lift my brows at him. "What's your reason for drinking?"

"Um... To show support."

I take the jug regardless. It's just his excuse to sit here and drink with me.

He lifts his. "Here, we're going to toast for a better mate for you. how dare she!"

I force a smile. "It's okay, I'll be fine." I toast with his jug before I take a long sip. The cold liquid runs down my throat, but it doesn't help the fire in my stomach.

When will this be over and when will I stop thinking about her?