96

96

Don’t

The god of death, the King of the Underworld. How is it that I didn’t see him coming? How did I not keep him out, like Boone says I do with everyone?

He stands at the top of the stairs leading up to the observatory, dull, gunmetal-gray gaze pinned to my face.

“You called Athena a monster?” His voice is so quiet with wrath, I actually shiver.

For a second.

Maybe self-preservation kicks in, because that shiver fades away and all I feel is cold acceptance.

Persephone isn’t dead. She’s in Tartarus. I’m guessing the other gods don’t know that, somehow. And if that’s true, then that’s got to be the reason why he joined the Crucible. He thinks he needs something that only the King of the Gods has access to in order to get her out.

It all makes such obvious sense now.

He picked me to win for him. That’s all. Everything else was a lie, a show in order to get my cooperation.

Did he call Persephone his star?

Oh my gods, I’m jealous.

A harsh, disbelieving laugh escapes me. That’s what this burn is. It’s also everything else I’ve already cataloged. But right now, right this moment…this is romantic jealousy.

I cross my arms, head tipped and eyes unseeing as I examine this foreign sensation. I’ve had twinges of it before. Normal mortal moments. But not like this.

It feels…oily. Like a thick tar that I’ll never be able to scrape off me, no matter how hard I try. A smelly substance that will taint everything I touch.

What a slimy, unhelpful, crappy emotion to have to deal with.

I don’t like it. I won’t do it.

Whatever I thought he and I were or could be in my most secret of hearts is over. Any love I could have felt for him is a corpse at the bottom of a frozen lake.

I get to my feet, and both Charon and Cerberus follow suit, standing slightly behind me as I face Hades.

“Was I wrong?” I ask calmly.

“What?” Hades’ voice is a growl of warning.

I could get used to this kind of frostiness. Like nothing can penetrate my heart now. Not love, not anger, not hurt…definitely not him.

“She put their heads on spikes,” I say. “She put Boone’s head on a spike. And she smiled as her champion killed Meike after she’d already won. She did something to Dex to make him like that. She is a monster.”

“Damn it, Lyra!” he snarls. “She is, but you called her that twice. With the entire immortal world watching. You think she isn’t going to take retribution?”

I huff an uncaring laugh. “She can Medusa me, for all I care. At least then I can turn assholes like you to stone with a single glance.”

Hades rears back, eyes flaring with shock before they narrow sharply. “Leave us,” he commands Charon and Cerberus.

Neither of them move.

In fact, both of them look to me. I’m still watching Hades, so I see when that registers. I catch the moment he realizes that his only two friends in this world are protecting me…from him.

And I see what it does to him. The way he absorbs the hit almost physically before slowly pulling his shoulders back, spine straightening, face going as blank as I feel, smoke swirling around him like a moat of protection.

“I’ll be okay,” I say to them quietly.

Neither is happy about it, but they go, disappearing from the mountain, leaving me alone with Hades.

I don’t wait for him to take the lead. He doesn’t get to do that anymore.

“I know,” I tell him.

Black brows snap down. “Know what?”

“That Persephone is still alive. Is that why you need to become King of the Gods?”

His features go slowly stony as if I just petrified him with a glance, a word.

I was right. It’s true. It’s all true.

Hades takes a step. “Lyra—”

“Don’t.” I slowly move back, still so calm it doesn’t feel real. Nothing feels real. I’m pretty sure the pain is coming after I thaw. “You don’t want to come anywhere near me right now.”

He stops.

“Was that what last night was about? Boosting my confidence or something to try to get me to win? You feel nothing for me. I’m just a tool.”

“I—”

“That wasn’t a question.” I don’t want to hear that it’s true, and I won’t believe him if he says it’s not.

I take another slow, careful step back, even though he doesn’t move. “I thought I could see you. The real you. But it was all a calculation.”

I stare at him, still so unfeeling. And he stares right back.

I can’t stand looking at him now, at that harshly beautiful face, and drop my gaze to a spot at his feet. “You made me burn for you.” The words come out not as an accusation, but as a harsh whisper of humiliation and bone-deep hurt.

“Fuck. Lyra, listen to me—”

I shake my head. Here it comes. The pain. It’s trickling in now. I need to be far away from him when it really hits.

“I don’t want to hear what you have to say.” I raise my gaze to a spot on his chin. “I lost today.” I’m not even sure who won. Trinica, I guess, since she was out of the maze next, after Meike and Dex, who are dead.

“I know,” he says.

“I can’t win the Crucible.”

No response.

“I can’t make you king, so you don’t need me anymore.” I look down at my feet and realize—randomly—that I’m a mess. My shoes are covered in bug guts, both from killing bugs and from running through their remains. There are holes in my clothes where the spiders and the bullet ant pierced through. Blood on my shirt.

The sight is like an outward expression of what I’m starting to feel like inside.

Only pride is keeping me upright, the numbness giving way to everything I don’t want to feel. What I want to do is go curl into a little ball and fall apart. I’ll do that later. When no one can see. When no one can find me.

After the last Labor is over, I’m going to disappear forever. Forge a quiet new life somewhere else. Away from him.

Hades takes a step closer, eyes turning to molten silver. “The crown isn’t out of reach yet.”

I blink, then stare at him. For me to win, Diego would have to die. I search his face for any hint that what he’s saying bothers him at all. “And you think being an asshole is going to make me want to win?”

An emotion flickers over his features, but it’s gone too fast to catch. “Make me king, and I’ll grant you anything you ask for that is in my power to give.”

The fire he lit inside me…that’s all ashes now.

“Do you want to be back with your parents? Done.” He snaps his fingers. “Do you want to be rich? Done.” Another snap. “Rule a country? It’s yours.”

He really doesn’t know me at all to offer those things.

He never bothered to really know me, and I damn well don’t know him like I thought I did.

“I don’t want anything,” I tell him.

Don’t do this. Tell me not to kill Diego. Tell me not to put myself through it. Just to survive.

Stubbornness has him prowling closer. “Everyone wants something.”

I back up—not in fear. I can’t stand to have him near me. I don’t want him closer, where he might see the devastation laying waste to my insides. “Not from you,” I say.

There’s only the slightest pause in his steps, and then he keeps coming. “That’s pride speaking, Lyra. Get over it and take something for yourself.”

I slip two fingers in the small, zippered pocket where I keep the pearls he gave me. “Come closer, and I’m gone.”

He jerks up hard at that, fury and a sort of shocked denial whipping across those beautiful features.

And betrayal.

He feels betrayed by me? Fucking gods.

A shadow streaks by overhead, and Hades’ gaze shoots past me. Another lightning flash of emotions lashes out at me from him.

A very different kind.

Fear—metallic, urgent, sharp. It hits so hard that I gasp.