45. Kyle

As the ball hurtled toward me, I focused on it, and when the time was right, I swung. The bat connected with the leather, sending vibrations up my arms. Then the ball was flying out to left field, just past third base, before it once again tipped foul.

“Still pulling up at the end. Keep the swing even, Bosco,” Coach Wilson barked from behind the fence. “I know the bicep is sore, but you can’t pull up.”

Fuck. Coach had been a pitcher in his day, and during preseason, he ran batting practice himself. There was nothing like having a perfectionist as both judge and jury.

“Got it, Coach.”

“Ten more,” he barked.

Groaning, I shook my right arm a few times. Then I stepped back to the plate. After ten pitches and five even swings, he called it.

“I need you focused for the game on Friday,” he said as we headed to the locker room.

“Absolutely. We will win,” I assured him, forcing the competitive smirk I was known for to my face.

“And you’re good for the press conference tomorrow?”

I nodded. “Best behavior. Scout’s honor.” I held up two fingers.

“That’s not the fucking Scouts’ sign.” He shook his head. “Dumbass,” he muttered as he headed into his office.

“Isn’t it fun to be back, getting called dumbasses?” Emerson dropped an arm over my shoulder when I shuffled up to my locker.

I grunted.

“Want to come out tonight before the girls get here tomorrow?” Emerson asked.

I eyed Asher, who shrugged noncommittally. He and I had spent most of the last two weeks sitting on my couch, watching bad TV. Until yesterday, he’d had hope that Zara and the kids were coming to the first game. But when he’d FaceTimed with Clara last night, she’d confirmed that they weren’t, and his mood had been in the toilet since then. I’d mentioned the idea of reaching out to Zara directly, but he refused. He thought he was giving her what she wanted. At this point, I wasn’t sure Zara even knew he was talking to the kids regularly, because he didn’t want her to know. I felt like he was handling the separation the wrong way, but what the hell did I know? I reached out every day, and Harper still wasn’t talking to me.

“Yes, no, maybe so?” Emerson sang the words, pulling my attention back to him and the question of going out tonight.

“I guess.”

Emerson clapped and broke into a wide grin. “The gang will all be there. Like old times.” He pumped his fist. “We should find karaoke.”

Turning to his locker space, Dragon groaned. “No.”

My phone vibrated on the shelf in my locker, and my heart picked up speed. I knew it wouldn’t be Harper, but a guy could hope.

Though I was right, and she was still no-contact, the name on the screen did lift my spirits.

I slid my thumb to answer, and Piper’s face appeared.

“Hey, girlie.” My chest warmed with affection at the sight of her.

“I ran the bases today,” she said, her tone matter-of-fact, like usual, but there was a hint of pride there too.

There was no stopping my grin. “No way!”

“Yes.” She nodded. “With Ashley. And the sand got on me, but I finished before I changed my shoes.”

“Well done,” I praised.

“I knew you would get it. When I told Daddy, he just wanted to know why I changed my shoes.”

A weird pang resonated through my chest. Her father was trying, and I was thrilled for both her and Sam. But I hated that she’d told him about this feat before me. Fuck, was it petty, but I hadn’t been at my best lately.

“When are you coming home? I like your house.” Piper wasn’t looking at the screen, but I could see her lips pull down. “It feels safe there.”

That yanked hard at my heart. That was my hope when I set up her space. To give her somewhere she could feel safe. Somewhere she would want to come back to. But at this point, I didn’t even know if she’d ever be allowed back.

“Oh, I’ve got a few more weeks in Florida,” I hedged. “Tell me about the rest of your day,” I said as I settled in the chair by my locker.

As she dove into the first of her stories, she tilted her iPad, and the view changed.

She was on the sofa, like normal. But behind her, at the small table where I’d sat so many times, Harper and Jace were sitting across from each other. Their plates were still in front of them, and Harper was sipping from a bottle of White Out.

I was dying to ask what was going on. Especially when Harper laughed at something he said. I thought the pang in my chest was bad before, but at the sound, it felt like a gaping hole.

The tablet shifted again, and Piper’s little face was back. “We worked on subtraction for too long. It was boring.”

She continued to tell me all the stories, and I half listened. Because half my brain was still stuck on Jace’s presence at their dining table. As soon as Piper ended the FaceTime call—abruptly, as always—I pocketed my phone and opted against the locker room shower so I could head home sooner.

Outside the locker room, I headed down the hall to my car. I never drove in Boston, but Cam usually stayed home while I was at spring training, so for a few weeks every year, I got behind the wheel.

“Kyle.”

The voice resonated deep in my bones. The familiar sound of my name as I left the locker room seeped into my every cell. I’d heard it thousands of time. Mostly in high school.

Holding my breath, I spun around. “Bill.”

My stepdad was leaning against the wall with a small duffel in one hand and a backpack on his back.

“I didn’t know you were coming,” I croaked

“Well.” He pushed off the wall and headed toward the parking lot, clearly expecting me to follow. “Your mother and Aunt Susan are gallivanting around the country for the next week, so I figured I’d come watch you play.”

Falling into step with him, I said, “I didn’t realize Mom was traveling.”

He nodded as we continued down the tunnel.

“I was pretty upset when I found out about Harper.”

Jaw clenched, I bit back a curse. Because his next words had the potential to forever change our relationship. But I had to ask. “Why?”

“I struggled, still do, with the idea of my brother hiding the existence of a child from me. And worse, walking away from her. I can’t imagine being so heartless. I carry a lot of guilt surrounding the way I accused her of lying about being his daughter when we met, but I truly couldn’t imagine James just walking away from her. Hell, if I’d known about Harper, I’d have done everything I could to have a relationship with my niece.”

My breath had been knocked from my lungs like I’d just taken a fastball to the gut. That admission wasn’t anything like what I’d been expecting.

“You and I don’t share any DNA, and yet from the moment I fell in love with your mom, you and Ryan each owned a piece of my heart.” He tapped his chest. “I’d never have been able to give either of you up.”

Images of Piper and Sam flashed in my mind, making my throat go tight and my eyes get hot. “I know that feeling all too well.”

“So the idea that my brother could just walk away from his daughter?” Lowering his head, he shook it. “I struggle with it.” He sighed. “But I do think he’d love seeing you with Harper.”

Stomach lurching, I pulled up short and fisted my hands. “What?”

“JJ said that James was very worried about her being alone. He wanted her to have someone she could depend on. Someone who’d be there for her through life. In a way he never got to be.”

“Chose not to be.”

Bill sighed. “Now that he’s gone, that’s something Harper and Susan will hopefully work through.”

That stung. I wanted to be part of every aspect of Harper’s life. Though with every day that went by, that idea felt more like a dream than a real possibility.

“But I think it would make James happy to know you’re with Harper,” he said as he took off again. “I know it would make me happy to see you two together.”

I jogged to catch up. “Even if it causes drama with Aunt Susan and Danielle?”

He nodded. “In the end, I think they’ll find themselves on the right side of this situation. Even if it takes them a little while to get there.”

“Maybe. Although I’m not sure it matters, since Harper won’t speak to me.”

He shifted the duffel in his hand. “Can I give you some advice?”

I nodded. “You might be oddly suited to offer it.”

“I’m not talking about your mother keeping Harper’s existence a secret. This is about relationships.” He inhaled deeply, like he was ready to lay it on me. “When you fall in love with someone who has been hurt, they might try to throw you back a few times. Whether they know it or not, they want to know you’ll stick around. Fight for them.”

“What?”

“I’m saying Harper is probably afraid of getting hurt. You might have to hold on tight enough for the both of you for a little while. Especially since she’s protecting two other little hearts.”

The grief that had been plaguing me for weeks flared. If only it were a matter of holding on. I could do that forever. I never wanted to let go.

Defeated yet thankful for his compassion and advice, I pulled my key fob from my pocket. “Thanks, Bill. Need a ride?”

“Sure.”

Once I’d unlocked the Ram I’d rented for my time here, he dropped his bag in the back seat and then climbed in.

I pressed the ignition button and shifted into reverse. “Where to?”

“Any hotel will work.”

Scoffing, I slowly backed out. “That ridiculous. If you haven’t already set something up, just stay with me. I could use the company.”

“You sure?”

Slowly, I headed for the exit. “Maybe you can help me come up with a grand gesture that Harper won’t be able to refuse.”

He pointed to my arm. “Wasn’t that the grand gesture?”

“Nah.” My arm was for me. To remind me to choose them every day. Because if I ever have doubts, it would remind me of exactly what it was like to lose them. And if I somehow managed to get them back, I never wanted to put myself through that again.