Chapter Fourteen

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

TREVOR

A n aggressive knock startles me from absentmindedly cleaning Beau’s kitchen. A wince stills me at the door because the only option is the boys. And I know I’m probably in deep shit. Sure enough, Eli stands with his arms crossed, with my duffle bag dangling from his shoulder. His eyes do their best to radiate rage, but it comes off more like a little kitten that’s been tossed in the tub. I’ve missed him so much. Jackson and Benji stand behind Eli, radiating less hostility, instead mostly radiating concern.

“You’ve got so much explaining to do,” Eli murmurs, a clear threat in his voice.

“I am so sorry.” Grabbing his shirt, I haul Eli into the house, enveloping him in a hug full of apology. “I didn’t tell anyone. Just so you know.”

“You should’ve told me. From the start,” Eli grumpily mumbles into my shirt.

“Us too,” Benji says from where he stands awkwardly by the front door.

Jackson tears me bodily from Eli’s arms to envelop me in one of his own warm, soft hugs. I allow myself a brief moment of comfort in his arms, leaning most of my weight against him. Benji’s hand rubs up and down my back as Jackson cradles me. After enough comfort, I pull away to look around at the three of my best friends.

“It’s so complicated,” I admit in defeat.

Eli frowns deeply, lines appearing on his forehead. The expression is so rare to see from Eli. The man is usually sunshine and rainbows, a joy to have as a friend. I hate that I’m the reason perpetual sunshine Eli is even close to upset, even annoyed doesn’t cut it for me.

“Sit down with me?” I sit on Beau’s sofa and pat the space beside me.

Eli joins me with a huff, but I can already tell I’m close to forgiven. Benji folds to the floor, sky-blue eyes focused solely on me. Jackson takes up residence by the back door, looking out at the yard as he waits for my explanation.

“Start at the beginning,” Eli demands.

That’s such a long story. But he’s right. We’ve all been friends for years, in close proximity, and I’ve never even shared about my parents. Only Claire and Beau know. Claire only knows because we were raised in the same circles in New York City. Both raised by distant, wealthy parents that thought money could erase their absence. Claire turned out normal enough, saving me from myself after my parents fell from grace.

Obviously, I had to finally tell Beau because… well. If I want to start a life here with him, then secrets aren’t much of an option anymore.

“My parents are Turner and Lyla Shaw.”

Eli just stares blankly at me. “Okay?”

“Those names don’t ring a bell at all?”

“Are they famous?” Benji bounces to his knees, perpetual sunshine.

“Not for good reasons,” I mumble sourly. “They’re more infamous than anything. They’re serving life in federal prison for a Ponzi scheme. They swindled a lot of innocent people out of their life savings… out of everything… and all of it just for a few mansions, some nice cars, and my private school education. I try not to think about that one too much.”

Eli’s nose wrinkles up in thought. “Were they bad to you?”

“Absent more than anything. Nannies raised me.”

A serious, firm look gets aimed my way by Jackson. “Is Trevor your real name?”

I wince. “No.”

Eli nods in understanding. “Well, lots of things make sense now. You’ve always been oddly paranoid about where you are, but I honestly just thought it was your anxiety. Also, one time when we were out grocery shopping, I called your name like ten times, and you never answered me. I threw a lemon at you.”

Oh God, I remember that. The lemon had clocked my right cheek and Eli had apologized profusely for weeks.

“I remember that.”

“So, what’s this all got to do with Beau… why all the subterfuge?” Jackson asks.

“Just to be clear,” I tell Jackson with a very serious look, “I have never once claimed to be intelligent.”

Benji blinks rapidly. “Okay.”

“I was his fake boyfriend for a wedding. Took me about twenty-four hours to fall in love with the man. Then his father died, and he asked Claire for me, but I was contracting with Nolan at the time. But we worked it out so I could come. Claire only took her cut, and I came and was a fake boyfriend for the funeral. And it hurt so much. I wasn’t ready to feel that way about someone. I was still in college and my parents were causing me problems… it was all too much.” I avert my gaze from Eli’s sad eyes and pick at a thread on the quilt covering the back of the sofa. “So, I ran. Left him, asked him to wait for me. I didn’t know if I could ever do it. But I graduated and you found your happiness and I thought… can I do it? Can I have that too? Did Beau wait for me? It’s an asshole move, I admit it, but I thought if he waited for me, then it was a sign that maybe I’m not a piece of shit like my parents. Maybe there’s something good inside me too that’s worth being loved by someone as good as Beau Callahan.”

“Oh, Trevor.” Eli’s tone is so heartbreaking that I have to bite my lip to stop tears from falling. “You’re so worth being loved. So many people love you. I love you, and Jackson loves you, and Benji… now Beau. A lot of people love you.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s just… hard to remember sometimes.”

“Your parents never told you they love you?”

I sniff and wipe at my nose. “Infrequently.”

“Sweet Trevor,” Benji whispers, heartbreak clouding his gentle face.

Benji crawls to the sofa, and envelops me in his arms, swaying back and forth on the sofa. We sit in silence for a long time with him just petting at my hair. I had missed them so much the past few months. My dearest friends. My only friends really. Now Eli and I live right across the street from each other. The world is so small and beautiful. Benji pulls away so that Eli can hug me too. I allow the affection despite not quite knowing how to accept it still.

“Colby is such a good man,” I whisper into Eli’s wild curls.

“Yeah,” Eli admits with a soft little sigh. “He’s a great man. I’m so lucky to have him.”

“Maybe Pretty Woman isn’t so far off.”

Eli smacks my head. “We’re both Julia Roberts in this scenario. Even with the age gap.”

A moment later the back door opens to reveal a tired-looking Beau. His eyes meet mine first, then flit over to the other boys. One of those gorgeous, patented Beau smiles spreads across his face. My heart beats double time in my chest just from that single smile.

“Hey, everyone, stopping by for a visit?”

Beau slips off his shoes, then heads into his kitchen for an ice-cold water.

“Dropping off this jerk’s duffle bag.” Eli stands with a sigh, dusting off his tight jeans with his hands. “Colby is waiting for us in the Jeep to take us out to dinner.”

“Yeah, I chatted with him for a bit outside. Maybe we can do a double date sometime?”

Eli practically beams. “I’d love that! Now, if you make Trevor anything but happy, I’ll kill you. Lots of places to hide bodies out here.”

Beau just chuckles as Eli pats his arm as he exits through the back. Jackson salutes Beau on his exit, while Benji gives Beau a tight hug despite them only briefly meeting the other day. A honk fills the air, before the sound of gravel kicking floats through the open back door.

“All good?” Beau asks gently.

“All good.” I walk over to him in the kitchen, wrap my arms around his neck, and go up on my tiptoes to kiss the corner of his mouth. “Tired?”

“Been a long few days. I usually take Tuesday and Wednesday off, that’s my weekend. You wanna do something fun with me tomorrow?”

“The answer to that question is always going to be yes.”

Beau bites his lip to fight back what I’m sure would be a heart-stopping, toe-curling kind of grin. Those big strong hands that I love so much stroke up and down my back as he holds me close. He holds me like I’m something precious, something rare. My heartbeat picks up again just at that very thought. Being precious to someone like Beau is a dream come true.

“Can I just hold you tonight, sweetheart?” Beau asks softly, a hint of need in his low voice. How am I ever supposed to say no when he asks me something like that so sweetly? Saying no to Beau seems impossible, much to my perpetual enjoyment.

“’Course.”

Never before have I had to worry about taking care of someone else. Not in a real-life relationship. Considering I’ve never had a relationship before that wasn’t part of my professional boyfriend duties. Being a fake boyfriend had me taking care of other men sometimes, but my heart was never really in it. Now with Beau, there’s a deep need rooted inside me that makes me want to take care of him. To ease his troubles, ease the weight on his strong shoulders. I feel like I can fly when he’s vulnerable with me and lets me take care of him.

Which leads me to something else.

“Hey, Beau,” I say as I lead him towards his bedroom.

“Hmm?”

“Do you ever like to be fucked?”

Beau’s hand grips mine just a little tighter at my question. He’s silent until we reach the bedroom, where he faces me head-on in front of the bed. A deep crimson blush paints his cheeks and neck, and his gaze lands firmly on me. Shyness radiates off of him, but not his normal shyness. This one is different.

“Sometimes,” Beau admits quietly.

“Would you ever want me to fuck you?” I ask, reaching up to tenderly cup his jaw.

He turns his head into my palm like he always does, such a tender thing that makes my still-learning-to-love heart beat a little wilder. A slew of butterflies takes off in my chest when he affectionately kisses my palm. His hooded eyes find mine and smolder, sending a current of need through me.

“I think someday I’ll need you to fuck me, sweetheart.” His voice is deep and rough, like the words cost him a lot to say.

“I’ll give you what you need,” I promise, meaning every word.

I kiss him then because I don’t know how else to follow up that sort of statement. If it was possible to pour my heart into a kiss, it would be in this one. I lick his lip so that he opens for me, and then dip into his mouth, wishing I could keep the taste of him in my own mouth even after the kiss ends.

Beau’s hands grip my hips and tug me in tighter against his body. His hard cock is a line against my abdomen, and I wish that I could have him tonight, any way he’d let me. But I also want to respect his wish for us to take it a little slow, start back at the beginning. So, I pull away from him, chuckling when his mouth chases after mine.

“Slow, Beau.”

He nods in the dark of his bedroom. “Right.”

“Take a shower, put on some comfy clothes, and then we’ll enjoy some dinner. Alright?”

Beau plods into the bathroom without a single argument. Once the sound of the shower running reaches my ears, I head out into the kitchen to scrounge up a dinner for us. In my very best dreams, I imagined a scenario much like this one. A dream where I cooked dinner for my lover, took them to bed, and woke up in their arms with a sweetness lingering between us.

And that’s exactly how the evening goes. Dinner is perfectly quiet. Beau even does the dishes. Then we curl up in his bed together, his leg between my thighs, my head tucked into the warm crook of his neck. I run my finger over his eyebrows, under his eyes, over his nose, and count his eyelashes and his breathing slows. Just the shine of the moon illuminates the room as Beau slowly falls asleep with me safely inside his arms.

The very last thought as sleep tugs me into its grips is that I hope I can keep Beau forever. Keep all of this. For the first time in my life, I’ve found something worth fighting to keep.