4. Leilani

CHAPTER 4

LEILANI

“You’re pregnant? Again? You know how birth control works, right?” I can’t help teasing my best friend as I stare at her through my phone and shake my head. Tammy, who’s also on the call, stifles a laugh by covering her mouth.

I wink at her, then glance over my shoulder when I hear someone walk past my alcove. I’ve found a quiet corner of the library to take this call because the office space I share with three other postgrads is too far away. Plus, I don’t want them overhearing my conversation. I doubt Caroline wants this news spread across the Nolan U campus, even though most of the student body won’t even know who she is. She graduated three years ago.

“Okay, shut up. We did use protection, and it failed.” She rolls her eyes “Again!”

“Ouch.” Tammy winces. “No wonder you’re reeling.”

Caroline and Tammy share understanding smiles while I interject. “I bet Casey’s excited, though.”

“He’s over the moon. Of course he is. He loves being a dad more than anything. He also doesn’t have to grow anything in his stomach and then push it out, so he’s got that going for him.”

Tammy laughs. “Hopefully your parents can help out a little more while you’re pregnant… and after the baby’s born.”

“Yeah, I’m sure they will.” Caroline cringes. “They’re thrilled, and possibly worried that Casey and I have way too much sex. If there is such a thing.” She smirks, wriggling her eyebrows.

I bite my lips together, trying not to laugh. She and Casey have always had a very physical relationship. It’s what brought them together in the first place.

“So, are you going to find out the gender or—” The phone beeps, and I grin, adding Mikayla to the call. “Hey, Mick.”

She waves at me, looking slightly distracted as she shuffles papers on her desk. “Hey, guys, I’ve only got a sec. What’s the big news?”

Caroline blows a curl off her cheek and tells her, “I’m pregnant.”

“Again? What, are you birthing an army?”

“Shut up.” Caroline laughs, then whines, “You guys! Why am I even telling you?”

“Because we’re your besties and you love us.” Mikayla gives her a pointed look, her left eyebrow arching.

Tammy giggles. “How far along are you?”

“I found out in November but wanted to wait and tell you guys once I got through the first trimester.”

I frown. “Why’d you wait so long? I’ve been talking to you almost every week, and you’ve been sitting silent on this thing?”

“I’m sorry.” She cringes. “I don’t know… maybe I wanted to make sure it stuck.” She shrugs, then looks all pained again. “Or maybe I was a little embarrassed that once again I’m accidentally pregnant. None of my babies have been planned. It’s like the universe is giving me no say in how my life is gonna work out.”

“I know.” My voices softens as I feel her pain. I totally understand not having control of your life and how unsettling that can be. “I thought you wanted more than two kids, though.”

“I did, but not all squished together this way.” Caroline bulges her eyes. “I just wanted a year to breathe and not have a newborn or be pregnant. I have no idea how I’m supposed to manage three kids under four. Two takes nearly everything out of me, and the pregnancy exhaustion is next level. I’m freaking out.”

“Maybe the universe knows that deep in your heart, you want to be a mama.” Tammy’s voice is gentle and kind.

Caroline goes a little misty-eyed. “I do love my babies. They’re just a lot sometimes, you know? And the idea of being outnumbered three to one is terrifying.”

“You’re gonna be great. You’re a tough, strong boss bitch. You can handle anything,” Mikayla says.

“And you’ve still got months to get mentally prepared for this shift.” I do some quick calculations in my head. “The baby must be due in July, right?”

“Yeah.” She sniffs, then pouts. “I’m going to be the size of a blimp for your wedding, Tammy.”

“You’ll still look stunning.” She smiles.

And I quickly assure my friend, “You always glow when you’re pregnant.”

Caroline scoffs and shakes her head.

“At least you haven’t been puking up a lung like Tammy did, right?” Mikayla laughs, and Tammy joins her.

“Thank God that’s over.”

Our phones all bleep in unison, and I quickly add Rachel to the call.

“Sorry I’m late, ladies. Emergency in the kitchen.” She fluffs her bangs and looks a little flustered as she smiles and waves at each person on the chat.

“All good, though?” Tammy checks.

“Yeah, just my new assistant chef, who I took pity on and maybe shouldn’t have taken pity on, because training her is turning into quite the mission.” Her expression buckles. “I just felt so bad for her in the interview, you know? She was so nervous and twitchy and sweet and…” She pulls a face. “And now the kitchen reeks of burnt cream.”

“Oh no.” I give her a sympathetic smile. “I’ll be home around four. I can help you air the place out.”

“You’re an angel.” She blows me a kiss.

“I can’t believe you guys are still living in the pool house,” Mikayla comments.

I feign insult with a little scoff. “It’s the same size as your apartment in Centennial.”

“In what universe?” Mikayla shakes her head with a laugh. “We have two bedrooms and an office. You’re in like a studio.”

“That Baxter has been expanding for us,” I correct her. “You just haven’t seen the completed renovations yet. When are you coming to visit, anyway? You’ve canceled the last two times.”

She huffs and digs her fingers into her hair. “Work is crazy busy, and between Ethan’s hockey schedule, my asshole boss, and his list of needy, demanding clients, I barely have a second to breathe. Who knew being a gopher could be so damn stressful.” As if to prove her point, her work phone starts ringing, and she checks it with a growl. “I’m sorry, guys. I’ve gotta go. Congrats, Caroline!”

She hangs up, and Rachel looks a little mystified. “Why are we congratulating Caroline?”

There’s an uncomfortable pause, Caroline’s face paling slightly as she admits, “I’m pregnant again.”

Rachel blinks, her lips parting as she struggles to hide her reaction.

She’s gutted, and we can all feel her pain as we watch her fight to pull a smile into place.

“Wow.” She swallows, her voice on the shaky side. “Amazing. So happy for you.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Caroline’s expression crumples. “It wasn’t planned. I’m just…” She winces and quickly mumbles, “I’m just trying not to freak out about having three kids under four.”

“Billy will turn four just after the baby’s born, won’t he?” I try to keep my voice light and upbeat, desperate to end this heavy feeling that’s taken over the call.

“Great. So now I have to plan a birthday party with a newborn. Thanks, Lani. That makes me feel way better.” Her voice is snippy, and I know she instantly regrets it.

I wave off her apologetic look with a smile.

“You’re blessed, Caroline. Don’t forget that.” Rachel’s eyes fill; it’s obvious even through my small screen. My heart starts to ache for her all over again. She’s been trying to have kids ever since she and Liam got married four years ago. “Hey, um… sorry to cut this short, but I’ve got to go and deal with this kitchen thing and…” She shakes her head and sniffs. “Um, see you later.”

She hangs up just as a baby starts crying in the background.

“That’s my little Supernova,” Tammy says. “Naptime’s over. Better run. Nice to see you.” She blows a kiss at the screen, then disappears, leaving just me and Caroline to lament the sad ending to what should have been a super joyful call.

Caroline groans. “Did you see Rachel’s face?”

“I know,” I murmur. “She wants to be a mama so bad.”

“I don’t get the universe sometimes!” Her voice pitches. “I just have to look at Casey’s dick and I’m knocked up. Poor Ray’s been trying for years now. It’s not fair.”

“I know. Thankfully, she’s married to Liam, who is the sweetest, kindest man. Somehow they’ll get through.”

“Yeah.” Caroline looks about ready to cry. “Do you think I should keep my distance while I go through this pregnancy? What do I do?”

“Well, thankfully you don’t live in the same town, but…” I shrug. “You can’t avoid her altogether. We’re a family, and it wouldn’t be right to ice either of you out.”

“I just want to protect her.” She swipes a tear off her face. “If being around me is too painful, then I’ll back off.”

“Why don’t you just ask what she needs from you and be fine with whatever she says?”

“Yeah.” Caroline nods, then sighs. “I’ll do that. Good idea.” Rubbing her forehead, she glances at her watch. “Troy’s due to wake in a few minutes, and I have to collect Billy from preschool soon, so give me a quick update on your life. Go.”

I laugh and tell her about my studies. “My dissertation is coming along beautifully. The small groups I’m teaching are mostly divine. My adviser is still super strict and grumpy, but I know she only wants the best for me. Even though I don’t love her serious lack of people skills, she forces me to produce top-quality work, so I really can’t fault her for that.”

“How are you finding the workload?”

“Manageable. It helps that Asher has learned how to cook a few decent meals, and he’s been keeping our place so tidy. I seriously love that man.”

“Then marry him.” Caroline singsongs like she always does.

“I know.” I laugh. “I will.”

“When?”

I glance away from her pointed look and hitch my shoulder. “I don’t know.”

“Why are you even hesitating over this? He’s your soulmate. You’ve admitted that to me multiple times. And I know you believe in marriage, so what’s the problem?”

“It’s the wedding,” I blurt. “The idea of some huge fiasco is just too much. I don’t want to plan some big thing.”

“Then don’t. Just get married in a courthouse.”

“Wow.” I tip my head with a deadpan expression. “That’s so romantic.”

“Come on.” Caroline rolls her eyes. “If you don’t want a big wedding, then what do you want?”

“I’m not sure.”

“You are impossible sometimes, you know that?” My best friend pulls a face, then laughs. “You know Asher is dying to marry you.”

“And his parents will put on some elaborate show, and my army of a family will all want to be there.”

“It doesn’t have to be this big thing.”

I tut, knowing she’s right but not wanting to admit it. “We’re basically married anyway. We’ve been living together for three years.”

“I know, but it’s not the same. There’s just something about making it official that’s so special.” Caroline touches her heart. “I love being Mrs. Pierce.”

My eyebrow arches. “I’m not changing my last name.”

“You don’t have to, but putting a ring on it is fun, Lani. You can’t tell me that a small part of you doesn’t want some whopping great diamond on your hand.”

I wrinkle my nose, and Caroline laughs again.

“Let Asher propose to you already.”

“Why should he get to propose?”

“Fine!” She throws her hand up with an exasperated smile. “You propose to him, then! Just put a freaking ring on it already!”

I grin at her expression, the idea sparking something playful and warm inside of me.

I could propose to him.

You know, that could be kind of fun. And as for the wedding thing… well, maybe I can handle it.

Asher is my soulmate. I have no doubts about that.

And the expression on his face if I popped the question…

I bite my lip, giddy butterflies swarming me as I let that scenario play out in my imagination.

“Oh, that’s good,” I whisper to myself. “That is really good.”