29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Josh

I was looking forward to work today. After spending all of my Sunday moping around my house feeling sorry for myself, I knew I needed to get out of there and keep my mind occupied.

That's the thing about love, right? It'll make your highs high, but damn does it make your lows low.

I know I fucked up the other night. I let someone small and insignificant get in my head and play on my weakness.

I'm not sure if I'll always struggle with these insecurities. It's been a part of me since I was a child, and childhood trauma is real and lasting. But what I do know is that I don't want it to get in the way of the one person in my life that makes me feel whole.

Layla has made a mark on me from the moment she came into my life. Even when she was an innocent seventeen-year-old, I felt the pull immediately.

"Hey guys," I shout to my team as I come around the corner. "Why don't you go take your lunch now? I think we're at a good stopping point. "

One of the guys places their tool down. "Not gonna say no to that, boss. Let's go, guys."

I walk around the lobby of the office that we're renovating. Asher started the company for residential construction, but my passion has always been in larger commercial work. He let me take this job on as a guinea pig to see how it goes.

We just gutted the entire lobby to the bare bones. This week, we will start installing the marble floors, which should be delivered this evening.

Now that I think about it, I want to make sure that delivery is on schedule. I don't want anything slowing us down. I pull out my phone and walk outside to dial the distributor's number when I see Asher walking towards the building.

He is approaching briskly, steps long and determined. As he draws near, I notice his clenched fists. His furrowed brows, narrowed eyes, and tightly pressed lips are unmistakable. With each step, there's a resonating tension that thickens as the gap between us diminishes.

Before I can brace myself, his hands land on my chest, roughly shoving me to the ground.

Instinct has me up on my feet quickly, hands in the air to try and defuse the situation.

"What the heck was that for?" I ask as I back away.

He takes another step closer. "You leave my sister stranded for a fucking pity party. I told you I give you my blessing to date her, but just don't hurt her. Here we are, one week in, and you made her cry."

My heart nearly stops in my chest. "She was crying? "

"Of course, she was crying. You stormed away, then left her humiliated and alone in the driveway with no idea where you were or if you were coming back. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't punch you square in the face right now."

I run my hand through my hair. Fuck, I can't believe she was crying.

"Shit," I mutter to myself, then turn to Asher. "I'm sorry, man. I know I fucked up. I called her that night and apologized. I've been racking my brain, trying to figure out how to make it up to her."

"What the hell is going on with you? You're normally the easy-going guy in the room. This isn't like you."

My shoulders rise with my breath, then fall as I exhale my frustrations. "It's—fuck—it's a long story."

Asher crosses his arms across his chest like he isn't going anywhere anytime soon. He looks around at the building. "I've got all the time in the world. Why don't we go inside out of this heat where you can tell me what the hell is going on."

I nod my head in agreement and lead the way inside. There aren't really any official places to sit, but I take a seat down on some boxes, motioning for him to sit on the other stack across from me.

My elbows rest on my knees as I clasp my hands together. I'm racking my brain, trying to figure out where the hell to start. My eyes focus on a particular paint stain on the ground.

"Did Layla ever tell you that we had a little thing when I first moved here? "

The silence grows as I wait for him to respond. I look up and see his eyes boring into mine.

"You mean my sister, who was in high school, and you, a recent college fucking graduate?"

I'm so sick of feeling ashamed of my feelings for her. It's a five fucking year age gap. I'm not a monster, and I am done apologizing for my feelings.

"Yes, your seventeen-year-old sister. She was seventeen, and I was twenty-two. If you want to do the math, that's five years. That's nothing. But if you must know, we only kissed at that time."

His shoulders seem to relax a bit at my admission.

"Anyway, there was just this instant chemistry that we shared from the moment I locked eyes on her. I tried to ignore it. I knew you'd kill me. I knew your father would dig the grave for you."

The corners of his mouth twitch ever so slightly, betraying his effort to maintain a composed facade.

I continue. "But one night at your parents' house, after everyone went to bed, we spent hours talking outside. One thing led to another, and we kissed. I want to tell you that I felt sorry about it, but that would be a lie. It was perfect. It only confirmed to me that there was something deep between us because that kiss changed my life. I knew right then, and there I would never find someone that held a candle to Layla."

"So, what the hell happened?" he asks, as he now mimics my posture, elbows on his knees like he is now riveted by my story.

"You had a little party at your parents' house the next night. Nothing big, your parents were out of town, so we were all hanging out on the dock and in the backyard. William was there. I think he knew there was something between Layla and me. I was always watching her, talking to her at your parents' house, even when he was around."

I pause for a moment. "I don't even think he knew what had happened between her and I the night before. It was probably just a coincidence. Either way, he approached me before Layla came out of the house. Told me if I touched Layla, he'd tell your dad. He threatened to make his father end the contract with your dad's company. And I know that your dad's business hit another level when they signed that contract."

That really gets Asher's attention. He knows what that account did to turn around his father's business. His eyebrows turn down. "That motherfucker."

"Yeah," I laugh bitterly. "In hindsight, he was clearly threatened by what Layla and I had, so he resorted to scaring the piss out of me. But honestly, that wasn't the thing that stuck with me the most. It was like he knew my weakest point, and it's my confidence in myself."

"Your confidence?" Asher questions doubtfully. "Dude, I've been to bars with you. Your confidence was never lacking."

I huff out a scathing laugh. "There's a difference between confidence to score a hot chick for a night and confidence that you're good enough to be the man she brings home to her father."

His head falls to the side. "What else did he say to you?"

"He told me your dad would never go for Layla settling for someone like me. A blue-collar worker who would never be able to provide the type of lifestyle she was used to."

"Fuck that. Layla doesn't care about those things. "

I shrug my shoulders. "How was I supposed to know that at the time? She was only seventeen. She didn't know what she wanted for herself in the future. Back then, she had a lot of life to live. She had dreams to fulfill. And I'm so damn proud of the woman she has become. Where she is today only reminds me why I fell for her right from the start."

I look down again at the same paint spot. It gives me the confidence to continue. "She's ambitious but down to earth. She doesn't care about money or power. You know I didn't have the best upbringing, but I never truly opened up to anyone about it. Not until Layla. My parents basically treated me like a nuisance. Nothing I did or didn't do was enough for them to pay attention to me. I grew up in a trailer park. I came from nothing and was treated like nothing. So, to come into this world with people who have more money than they know what to do with, it made me feel like I didn't belong."

"That's bullshit. You've always belonged with us. You're like another brother to me. Shit, you're like another brother to my brothers."

"It doesn't mean I don't get lost in my own head sometimes. Sometimes, my thoughts take hold and tell me I'm just an outsider. That I'm never going to be able to offer her what William can. At twenty-two, I thought that would be the life she wanted. I know better now, but I'm still not anything special to bring home to your parents. I'm just a guy who works for their son in a blue-collar job."

"Is that really how you think of yourself?"

I shrug. "It's the truth."

"Fuck, no, it's not. And if it is, then that's all I am, too. "

"You're the owner of a successful construction company," I point out.

"And that company would be nowhere without you. I let you run the company just as much as I do. You are the reason it's so successful. Every client fucking loves you. You're the reason it stayed afloat after Lauren died. I was such a miserable grump. I could've destroyed my reputation. I've tried for years to make you co-owner of this place, but you always deflect. Now, I see why. You don't see yourself as my equal, and that pisses me off."

He looks around the large lobby. "Look at this place. We got this job because of you. We took it because you have the balls and the knowledge to go after commercial work. I've always been terrified to expand to commercial. But you, you have that in you. If anything, you're the impressive one between the two of us."

I shift in my seat, almost uncomfortable with the compliment. "I don't think I'd say that, but I appreciate it. Thank you."

"This isn't over. We are going to continue this discussion about your role in the company later. But as for this situation, I'm sorry I never knew this happened. I'm sorry I didn't know how you felt."

"It's my fault," I admit. "I never said anything."

"Yeah, it would have been nice to know this shit was happening. I would have appreciated knowing you kissed my sister. I get it—I would've flipped out back then. Now, who am I to talk? I'm having a baby with her best friend who's the same age as her."

I chuckle at that. "I lucked out on that one. You can't tell me it's wrong if you're basically doing the same damn thing. "

"You're fucking lucky it was only a kiss back then."

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, I get it."

"But what the fuck, man?" he switches gears back to anger. "That still doesn't mean you leave her stranded at an event you two went to together. That was some bullshit."

"I know. There is nothing I can say. It was inexcusable and will never happen again. I guess the only thing I would add is that I've spent a decade never interested in a serious relationship because your sister was always the only one for me, so I'm new to this boyfriend thing."

He looks at me skeptically. "Fine. You get one pass."

I smile. "Thanks. Now, I may need your help. I've been thinking all morning, and I'm done letting my life pass me by. I want to live my life, and I want to do it with Layla."

"Uhh, what exactly were you planning? Look, I love you, man, but if you propose, that's a surefire way to freak my parents out. You've been dating for like a month."

"I'm not talking about proposing."

I tell Asher what I have bouncing around my head. It's definitely bold, but there's just something about it that feels right. I want to do this for Layla. I want her to know I'm in this for good. I don't want her doubting anything like she is right now.

I can tell she is. I messed up, and I want to make it right.

Now that I have Asher on board, and he isn't adamantly against it, I have to get moving. Asher agrees to man my job site for the rest of the day while I go check out a spot I drove by the other day when all of this clicked into place.