10. Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

Josh

"Are you excited to see Milan?" I ask as I drive our rental car along the Italian streets.

We decided to venture out the rest of the trip, starting with Milan since it's only an hour's drive from Como.

"Yep," she replies shortly.

"It's a beautiful day. I can't believe we lucked out on this weather so far."

"Uh huh."

"What's your problem this morning?" She's been short with me since the moment we woke up. We had an incredible time last night. Sure, we had too much to drink and are feeling it this morning, but I don't understand why she's acting like she's mad at me.

Maybe she just feels worse off than me from the alcohol. Perhaps the shots weren't such a good idea .

"I don't have a problem," she bites back, looking out the window.

"Is it the alcohol? Are you feeling sick? If you need me to pull over, just let me know."

A bitter laugh escapes her. "Of course, you don't even know why I'm mad. Typical Josh. Not a care in the world, oblivious to other people's feelings."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? What did I do?"

She crosses her arms across her chest. "It doesn't matter."

"Layla, let's not act like teenagers. If I did something wrong, tell me."

"Fine! You humiliated me last night." Her head stays focused on the windshield, refusing to look in my direction.

"Wait a minute. Is this because I didn't take advantage of you when you were drunk?"

She doesn't reply.

Unbelievable! I can't believe it. I try to do the right thing. Stopping her so she didn't give me the same damn face she gave me after I came all over my stomach in front of her, and this is how she reacts. What the hell? It's like I can't win with her.

Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

"I wasn't that drunk. You could at least be honest and not use being an honorable man as the reason you rejected me."

My hands are gripping the steering wheel tightly, trying not to lose my shit on her. This entire trip is giving me whiplash .

"Think what you want, Layla. You always do."

She scoffs and then goes back to looking out the window.

After a long, painful car ride, we are now standing just outside the Duomo of Milan. It's the fifth largest cathedral in the world, but I can't imagine anything being more impressive than this structure. It's massive.

"Holy. Shit," Layla mutters as we both crane our necks to see the entirety of the cathedral.

"This is the most incredible thing I've ever seen. I don't even understand how they accomplished such a massive structure so long ago."

She looks over at me. "Are you in some kind of architecture heaven right now?"

"I am. I really am. Can we go to the top? I bet the view is stunning."

"Oh, um. Yeah, sure. I think we can purchase tickets over there."

I'm like a damn kid in a candy store as we wait in line for the tickets. I'm so excited to get inside. We walk into the line for the elevator, which we're told is an hour wait, or we can take the two hundred and fifty steps to the top, which has no line. I'm starting to feel antsy in this line.

"Ugh, do you want to take the stairs?" Layla grumbles behind me.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you literally can't stand still and keep looking over at the stairs. Come on, let's go. "

"It's only a couple hundred stairs," I tell her as I lead her to the stairs. "We're young. I'm sure it'll be fine. They said it'll only take five to ten minutes if we climbed the stairs. How bad can that be?"

I'm eating my words within a couple of minutes. It's definitely gotten me huffing and puffing as my thighs are screaming at me. But I'm used to my muscles screaming at me to stop but pushing through to get the work done.

Layla, however, is not.

"These mother fucking piece of shit stairs," she curses for the hundredth time behind me. "Why the fuck did you make me do this?"

"It was your idea," I say through breaths.

"I only did it for you," she huffs out.

"I didn't ask you to. I'm sure we're about halfway. It'll be over soon."

"Oh my god! Only halfway? I'm gonna die. There's literally no way I'll make it."

I chuckle to myself, careful to hide it from her so she doesn't kick my ass when we get to the top. She's being a bit dramatic.

By some miracle, we get to the top, following a whole lot of cussing behind me. I turn around to see Layla with her hands on her knees.

"Give me a second," she pants. "Okay," she breathes deeply. "Okay, I'm okay."

I smirk. "Let's go. "

As soon as I step foot onto the roof, my entire body breaks out into goosebumps. The view is even better than I thought it would be. You can see all of Milan from up here. The Italian Alps are off in the distance, far beyond the city, but still visible from up here.

The entire cathedral is made from Italian marble. The pinnacles are intricate and appear to reach into the clouds, with large statues on top of them that seem to defy gravity.

I turn around and realize Layla has her head down.

"Don't you want to look at this? It's amazing, Freckles."

"Ummm, I might have forgotten to mention I'm afraid of heights."

"What?" I close the distance between us. "Why did you agree to this?"

She shrugs her shoulders, face still looking down. "You just seemed so excited. I figured you wouldn't do it if I didn't."

Her admission does something to me. I can't believe she did this for me. She's clearly petrified. I can see her legs shaking.

I reach my hand out for hers. She doesn't hesitate in latching onto it. Another sign that she's terrified.

"Like…do I think you're going to throw me over the edge? No."

I sigh. "I guess that's a good enough answer. You at least trust that I won't murder you. I'll take it."

With her hands in mine, I try to move forward, but she's frozen in place. Instead of leading in front of her, making her feel alone behind me, I position myself behind her and wrap an arm around her waist.

"First," I lean in and whisper in her ear, noticing her body shiver in response. "Look ahead. We don't have to move yet."

She follows my instructions. "Just look at the length of this church, Freckles. It's breathtaking. It's all made of marble. Can you imagine lugging this material on whatever boats they built six centuries ago?"

"Wow," she exhales. "It really is amazing."

"I heard someone downstairs say that they started building this in the thirteen hundreds. I wonder what their vision was back then or if they had any idea what it would become one day. It took six centuries just to finish it." I look down at her. "You think you can walk a little further? I'll hold onto you the entire time."

She nods. "Just don't leave me."

I give her body a squeeze to let her know that I've got her and I'm not going anywhere. We walk slowly until we are in the center of the entire cathedral. We both look around in silence as we take in the view. I start to turn us around so we can get the three-hundred-sixty-degree view. I'm honored that she's letting me do this, that she's trusting me with her fear.

"Those things remind me of these drip sand castles I used to make on the beach growing up. Minus the life-size statues on top of them," she says.

I chuckle. "The pinnacles. Yeah, I can see that. They're stunning, aren't they? I've never seen anything like it. The statues look like they're about to touch the sky. "

My hand glides along her stomach as I try to secure her closer to me. I can hear her sharp intake of breath. Next thing I know, my hand is sliding under her shirt and caressing her stomach.

"Just so you know, last night was the hardest thing I've ever done. I was not rejecting you under the pretense of being honorable. I had to go into the bathroom after you fell asleep to take care of myself. You don't know what you mean to me, Freckles. I would do anything to protect you, to make sure you're treated the way you deserve. And you deserve more than our first time being a night of drunken sex. I wasn't willing to risk you not remembering our first night together."

She looks up at me, into my eyes. "I don't know what to do with that."

I smile at her and then kiss her forehead. "Just enjoy the view. You don't need to do anything."

I'm not sure how long I stand there holding her with the entire city of Milan on our horizon. It's a moment I know will live with me forever. I like being able to have her in my arms under the pretense of her fear.

Last night, it was the alcohol; today, it's helping her face her fears. Maybe one of these days, she'll be in my arms because she's mine, and that's where she chooses to be all on her own.

After a long day spent walking around the city, we almost fall into our seats at dinner.

"I need wine and sparkling water," she demands as soon as we sit.

"I second that. I need alcohol to forget about the pain in my feet and water because I think I'm dehydrated. "

"And I need a huge bowl of pasta because I burned enough calories to not give a fuck what I eat," she adds.

"We'll get you all the carbs you want."

"Ah, good evening," our waiter says as he lays out a plate of bread for us. "Our homemade bread with olive oil using our locally grown olives. Can I start you off with something to drink?"

"Yes, we would like a bottle of your finest red wine and some sparkling water," I tell him.

"Treating your beautiful woman tonight, I see."

I know I should correct him, tell him she's not mine, but I like how it sounds. And I like that she hasn't corrected him either. She's been so quick to make the correction since we've gotten here.

After our wine arrives, we order our pasta and sit back, enjoying our drinks as we watch the sunset over the city. From here, I can see the cathedral lit up.

"So, tell me, what else did you dream of doing on your trip to Italy?" I ask her as we begin to eat our food.

"Oh gosh. I know I need to come back, there's too much. There is one stupid thing I kept picturing, but it's stupid."

I lean forward. "Now you have to tell me."

"You'll make fun of me," she says as she rolls her eyes and takes a sip of wine.

"Probably. You still have to tell me. "

She glares at me. "Whatever. I don't even care anymore. I kept picturing having a picnic on a hill in Tuscany overlooking a vineyard with the rolling hills ahead of me. I would have local cheeses and wine. I would be with some sexy Italian guy who would feed me the cheese."

I bite my lip, trying not to laugh. "I see."

"Ugh, I can tell you're trying not to laugh at me. I told you it was stupid."

I chuckle. "I mean, it's an interesting thing. I get the picnic in Tuscany. The Italian man feeding you cheese is a little… cliche."

"That's me, one big cliche. I also want to visit Venice. I'm not sure if we will have enough time to drive over there. It's only a couple of hours away from here."

"I don't see why we can't make it there."

Our car ride back is pretty silent, as we are exhausted from the day. Layla starts to nod off, and I get to spend some time watching her, thinking about our past. I wonder what would have happened between the two of us if I hadn't let her ex get in my head.

Was he right? Is he still right? Or did I let my insecurities get the best of me all these years?

Our connection just feels too big to be wrong. I know I don't make much money, not compared to what her father has provided for her all her life, but I could love her more than any bank account could.

I just want her to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted. And I'm starting to wonder if I could make her happier than anyone. But I could never give her these lavish trips .

Fuck, I don't know anymore. What I do know is that I want to make this trip everything she's dreamed it to be. I look over at her, confident she is passed out now.

I pull my phone out and make a phone call to the front desk of our hotel. Thank goodness they speak fluent English; I can clearly tell them what I want to do, and Enzo confirms he can get it done.

As soon as we get back to the hotel, I nudge Layla awake. She is still half asleep as we make our way into our room, where she falls face-first onto the bed. I chuckle as I strip off my clothes and get under the sheets in my boxer briefs.

She's clearly too exhausted to build her wall of pillows. Sleep doesn't come quickly as I think about the surprise I have in store for her tomorrow.