Chapter 3

Guilt twisted through Ryder when he’d arrived home late the night before. Of course, Nolan’s lights had been off, so any apology he had to give about being a jerk would have to wait. He didn’t know why he’d been so harsh with the man, but something just seemed to get under his skin about the guy.

The sermon after the baptism had been about being neighborly. He could tell the pastor was trying to introduce the concept of kindness. The man had replaced the long-time pastor who'd preached for decades in this town. Honestly, Ryder hated the old pastor. The man had been into shaming others and treating women like crap. Amy had refused to attend the church his family had gone to for almost a century, and that had almost driven a wedge in their relationship. Not because he thought they had to go to that church but because his mom sure thought they did.

It still amazed him how so many people in the church could listen to sermons about being kind to others and then spend the rest of the week being jerks. But the old pastor had taught them well—actually bad—but they'd learned that lesson and acted out on it quite often. It would take more than a few years of this new pastor teaching about being a nice person for those diehards in the congregation to give up their hate-filled ways.

The sun was up, but just barely, as a car pulled up in his driveway. He looked out the window, seeing his mother behind the wheel. He rolled his eyes, wondering why she was there. Usually, she only stopped by if she needed him to do something. What would she demand of him today?

He opened the door and ushered her in. “Good morning. Do you want any breakfast?”

“I already ate. I would like some coffee.” Maggie Jameson was short, with wavy gray hair and blue eyes, which everyone said matched his. There was so little of his father in him, which was a relief.

Thomas Jameson had always been a strict disciplinarian. They didn’t have a good relationship, ever. He tried for his mother, but there was no way he would ever see eye to eye with his dad.

Ryder shook off the thoughts of his father and kissed his mother on the cheek. “What do I owe this pleasure?”

“Thank you for helping last night. It means a lot that you came back here and are part of the community. I know when you and Amy—God rest her soul—moved away, you all weren’t going to church. It’s important to be tied into the right faith.”

Ryder grunted, trying not to get too worked up about what his mother said. She didn’t understand him. Heck, he didn’t understand much of himself. Amy and he hadn’t thought church was necessary. He was only going to church here because it was expected of him. He was glad the new pastor had moved in a month before he’d moved back. He could at least get something from the sermon, like being kind to others. If it had been the old pastor, he would have had to find something to do on Sunday mornings.

“You know,” his mother continued speaking as she poured herself a mug of coffee, “Cindy Newman will be at church this weekend. She’s such a sweet girl. Her mother told me she was moving back to town. She’s not with anyone. You could ask her out.”

Ryder’s jaw clenched almost on its own accord. There was no way he was dating anyone. Amy hadn't been dead long. Besides, he wasn't ready to date.

“Mom, I don’t want to date anyone. You know that.” He still missed Amy. There was no way he could go on a date with anyone else. Amy had been the love of his life, and that was it for him. No woman even made him wonder what it would be like to sleep with them. He definitely had no desire to kiss anyone, and he certainly didn’t give a shit about their stories. He just wanted peace.

“Ryder, you can’t spend the rest of your life alone,” his mother insisted, her eyes filled with concern. “Cindy is a good match for you. I think you two would be happy together.”

He had known true happiness with Amy, and there was no way some Cindy or Kandi or any other woman could replace her. Anger swirled, but he pushed it down. He didn't want to scream at his mother. That wouldn't go over well at all.

“I’m not ready to date.”

“She is really cute. She knows how to cook and is very tidy. She can darn socks and mend shirts. She has a job as a bookkeeper, so she’s good with money. She would be perfect for you.”

Anger rose, but he held it in check. “If I need someone to cook for me, I’ll hire someone.”

“But you need someone to share a relationship with. Man isn’t happy alone.”

He snorted. “I’m perfectly fine alone.”

“Well, I don’t think so. I think you need a woman in your life.” His mother sipped her coffee, and something twinkled in her eyes that made him think his mother was already scheming to set him up with this Cindy whoever.

“I don’t want to date anyone,” he said, his voice a little gruffer than he usually spoke to his mother.

“But you’re alone. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life alone. Just think how nice it would be to have a woman helping you. You could start a family and fill this house up. I know your uncle was happy here with Liza. They had five children. A house like this needs to be filled again with children.”

Ryder scoffed. “I don’t want or need a woman in my life.”

“Every man needs a woman.”

"I had one, and she's dead." He checked the time and realized he'd spent too long talking to his mother. "I have to get to work."

She sighed and set her mug down hard. “Fine, but this isn’t over.”

Ryder blew out a breath. If it had been anyone other than his mother, he would have said more than a few choice words and kicked them out. There was no way he would date anyone any time soon. He should have expected this. His mom had been meddlesome when he’d been in high school, and he shouldn’t have expected her to stop just because he was older.

She picked up her purse and shot him a look over her shoulder. “I don’t know why you have a job. Your Uncle Steve never had to work while he ran this farm. If it was good enough for him, it should be good enough for you.”

He didn’t want to get into with his mother. She was from a time when people could survive on fifty dollars a month for groceries. She was totally out of touch with how life operated. It didn’t help that she’d never traveled more than a few miles from home. Her experiences were limited, and it showed.

His mother also never took into account that her parents had left the farm to Uncle Steve, and all he had to pay were the yearly taxes. Steve had never paid a mortgage. He never had to deal with making ends meet. Steve had also only done a few updates to the home, so when Ryder moved in, he had to replace the roof, the AC, the flooring, and a few other things. Thankfully, he had a friend from high school who did roofing, and he'd gotten a deal on the AC. The flooring was another story, and he would be paying off what he'd spent to fix up the place for years to come.

Because of the deals he'd made, he'd spent two weeks working with the roofing crew and helped the AC guy clean up his shop. Trading for discounts had been worth it in the end. There was no way he could have afforded everything he'd done to the place without the deep cuts to the cost.

After moving in, he figured out the place had plumbing issues. Those had been expensive, and before he had the carpet installed, he’d painted the walls because the top four feet of the walls and the ceiling were dingy gray. He could probably sell the house for a lot more than he’d paid, but the animals were still around, and it would disappoint more than just his uncle if he left. Explaining the thousands of dollars he spent on the place to his mother would just go in one ear and out the other. She had her strong points, but she also just didn’t get much about him.

“I like working, Mother. Now, I have to go.”

“Okay, but you won’t find any women working at the lumber place. You should find another job.”

He escorted his mother out, all the while thinking the lumberyard was the perfect place because the last thing he wanted was some woman hitting on him while he was at work. Truthfully, working at the lumberyard wasn’t as fulfilling as his job in Atlanta had been, but he was getting used to it. It paid well enough and left him exhausted at the end of the day. Keeping busy made it easy to keep random thoughts from his mind. Also, no one tried to set him up while at work.

His boss, Jim, had recently hired another guy, Rafe, who seemed to have the same attitude of not dating, not getting involved in anything that wasn't work, or sitting at home by himself. Rafe was a good worker and kept to himself. Close to quitting time, Ryder heard someone yelling. He set down his equipment and walked around the corner to see what was going on.

He found Dave yelling at Rafe, who wasn't moving. Rafe stood with his arms crossed over his chest, his lips down in a frown. Honestly, Rafe looked like the type of man you didn't yell at. He had thick arms and an even thicker neck. From what Ryder saw, Rafe wasn't the type of man to be trifled with.

“What’s going on?” Jim yelled out as he raced over.

“This dick who you hired told me not to use the saw. I told him to fuck off, and he pulled the plug on the machine and won’t move.”

Jim's lips thinned, and his eyebrows pinched together. Ryder was watching Rafe, seeing what looked like resignation fill the man's face. Rafe wasn't happy about any of this. Ryder caught a weird look that crossed over Jim's face, and he wondered if they were going to have an issue. Rafe was a good worker, and he didn't want the man to quit.

“Rafe,” Jim’s one word was dripping with disappointment.

"We need to hear Rafe's side," Ryder said. Why was he standing up for this guy? Maybe because Rafe actually did the damn job, unlike Dave, who liked to goof off.

Rafe’s gaze whipped to Ryder, and he narrowed his eyes. Ryder lifted his eyebrows and Rafe blew out a breath before turning to Jim.

“I tried to tell him that something was wrong with the saw, but he wouldn’t hear me. He didn’t want to listen.”

Jim turned to Dave. “Is this true?”

Dave huffed. "He doesn't know what he's talking about. He's an idiot. Why did you hire him? He shouldn't be working here."

Ryder noticed how Rafe stiffened. Jim held up both hands. “Listen, I don’t care what you think of him. I want to know if he was telling you that there was something wrong with the saw.”

“No, he didn’t say anything,” Dave said.

“That’s a lie,” Rafe snapped right back.

“You do know most of the place, specifically this area, is captured by the cameras we have installed,” Jim said.

Dave backed up a foot, then narrowed his eyes. “You’re lying.

Jim shook his head. “We can go view them now.”

“Fuck,” Dave said.

Jim turned to Rafe. “Tell me what’s wrong with the equipment.”

"I was about to come tell you about it when I saw Dave approach the piece of equipment. I didn't want him to get hurt. If you look over here." Rafe led Jim over to the saw, and Ryder turned away. They could fix it on their own and didn't need him standing around.

He was about twenty minutes from clocking out when his mother texted asking him to stop in on the way home. He forgot how needy his parents were while he’d been living in Atlanta. Maybe he shouldn’t have moved back to town, but he couldn’t stay where he’d been, and the sadness over losing Amy clouded his thoughts. The memories of his life with his wife had cropped up around nearly every corner and haunted him at work. The daily reminder of the perfection he’d had almost crushed him.

“Hey, Mom,” he said as he entered through the kitchen door. He’d shut the door quietly, knowing that doing otherwise would make his mother angry. And if his mother got angry, he’d never hear the end of it from his father.

She turned to face him, a huge smile on her face. “Oh good, you’re here.” He moved to her and kissed her cheek, hoping this wouldn’t take long.

The door slammed shut, the force of it reverberating through Ryder’s body. He looked up and saw his father standing with his arms crossed, a stern expression on his weathered face.

“You should already have a child. Your mother is just trying to help. You will behave through dinner tonight and appreciate her efforts.”

Ryder’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t have time to say anything as the doorbell rang. Heat washed over him. They’d played him, setting him up without warning. His stomach twisted, and he felt sick.

Ryder clenched his fists at his sides. “What did you do?” His words were whispered, and he didn’t think either of them heard him because they’d both left the room to welcome their guest.

He wanted to bolt. He could be home before they even knew he’d left. But a quick glance out the window proved him wrong. His father had parked directly behind him, and then whoever had shown up was blocking the rest of the drive. There was no escape. He was doomed.