Chapter 2

Nolan had learned to walk with confidence and ignore whispers. That attitude would serve him well in this small Texas town.

He was new to the area, and he didn’t dress how other men in town dressed. He could get away with it because he was the only nurse practitioner working at the clinic that was woefully understaffed. The people who worked there didn’t care because most of them were transplants, too.

One woman, a nursing assistant, had grown up here and moved back after she got her certificate. She accepted him without question, but based on the reaction he got when he wasn't at work, he felt the need to go low-key. It went against his basic nature, but some people couldn't take him in full measure. He wasn't wild at all, though he sometimes colored his hair for events. Right now, it was his natural shade, except for a few highlights that looked natural in the right light.

Today, he had on what he'd consider to be bland clothing. The black slacks weren't tight like what he would wear going out to a club, but they did have enough stretchy material in the pants that they felt like pajamas but still looked good—not clubbing worthy, but still not awful. The baby blue button-down was paired with a dark tie that had cute little dogs all over it. Maybe the tie was too much, but someone would have to be super close to realize the dots were dogs.

He'd parked two blocks away from work so he could get some exercise in before his day started. He would be on his feet all day, but he needed more walking than a full day at work would provide. Halfway to the office, he passed two men who were older and dressed in the typical uniform working men in the area wore—jeans, a long-sleeved shirt, and a cowboy hat—when he heard one of them say something derogatory about him. Of course, he ignored them and kept going.

Maybe he should find a gym so he didn't feel the need to park blocks away to get in walking. Or maybe not, since a gym around here would have customers from this town. Perhaps he would finally buy one of the expensive workout systems for home use. Gyms in cities like Los Angeles and New York had benefits he didn't think he would get here. Not that he still hooked up at gyms, but he sure as heck had when he'd been twenty-one and fresh on the scene. But the benefits he liked most at the bigger clubs had been steam rooms and hot tubs, along with low-cost massages and some great classes.

He sighed, pushing away the thoughts of what he wouldn’t get at a gym here and all the things he was missing by moving to a small town. Instead, he focused on how nice the town seemed. It was clean here, no trash on the streets, and he liked the flowerpots outside businesses. There were advantages of moving here. He just had to dig sometimes to find them.

The morning sun was barely peeking over the buildings along the downtown strip by the time he stepped into the coffee shop he'd discovered the first week of moving here. The place was nice and quaint, and maybe a few too many bible verses framed on the walls, but he didn't mind as long as they didn't mind him. To each his own was how he survived.

“Good morning, Mr. Montgomery,” the woman behind the counter, Mrs. Albright, called out as the door closed behind him. “Oh, forgot to change the calendar. Can you believe it’s June fifteenth already? This year is passing quick.”

Nolan sucked in a breath, heat washing over him. June fifteenth? How could it already be the fifteenth? Mrs. Albright was looking at him funny, so he pushed away the pain and forced a smile.

“It is going fast. I’ll have a coffee and the egg white sandwich.”

“Sure thing, sweetie.”

Mrs. Albright turned and pulled the sandwich from the refrigerator and popped it into the rapid heat oven before pouring his coffee. He focused on what she was doing instead of the pain filling him.

How the hell had he forgotten? He vowed never to forget. Today marked four years since his husband passed away. How could he have let it slip his mind? He’d promised to remember forever, and this morning, he'd pulled on his clothes while whistling a happy melody like today was any other day.

If Andrew had lived, they would have been together for ten years, which was a long time for a gay man his age, but they'd met on their first day of college and fallen hard for each other. Now Andrew was nothing more than dust, and it was pathetic that he'd forgotten.

“Here you go, hun.”

He glanced up and tried for a smile, though he felt like he shouldn’t ever have the right to smile again. Mrs. Albright put her hand on his before he picked up the bag holding his sandwich.

“Is everything all right, hun?”

He tried for a genuine smile. "Yes, ma'am. I'm just obsessing over something work-related. You have a nice day."

“You, too. And maybe if you got yourself a nice woman, you wouldn’t obsess about work so much.”

He nodded politely, not having the heart to tell her he never would have a nice woman in his life. It amazed him that in any major city, people would pick up on the fact he was gay in seconds, but here in this small Texas town, people just thought he was eccentric. Even his tame clothes screamed gay as fuck, but these people weren't listening.

It was probably better that the people in this town didn't realize he was into dating men. He didn't think anyone would do anything overt, like attack him, but he wasn't willing to risk it.

As he left the cafe and continued on his way to work, guilt filled him. He missed Andrew something fierce. They’d been happy together. Andrew had been his rock, helping him get through his family abandoning him when they figured out that he was gay and then helping him study for his nurse's license. Without Andrew, he didn't know if he would have stuck through and become an RN and then gone on to become a nurse practitioner. At least Andrew had been alive when he'd passed his final exam to become a nurse practitioner. They'd spent a week on a cruise celebrating. It was their last big trip together. At least he had the memories of them having fun together one last time before everything went dark.

After work, he would do something to honor Andrew’s memory. Surely, he could come up with some sort of memorial for the man who’d meant so much to him.

When he’d moved, he’d packed away the photos of Andrew, thinking it better to hide his past than display it inside his home. Not that he had that many guests, but he didn’t want random workmen coming into his place and seeing photos of Andrew. That didn’t mean he didn’t want to think about Andrew, though. He thought about his husband all the time. But why had he forgotten this day?

Their life had been interesting. Andrew had joined the military after he’d received an associate degree and become a badass Special Forces guy. It shouldn’t have worked, but his sparkle was the perfect balance to Andrew’s bear personality.

Before walking into the office, Nolan cleared his mind. It wouldn’t help to dwell on Andrew today. Later, he’d have a glass of wine and toast his lovable bear. Maybe he would pull one photo out and put it beside his bed. He certainly wouldn’t be bringing anyone home in this town. What would be the harm to having Andrew’s photo on his bedside table?