31. Switch

31

SWITCH

" Y ou know what I see, Sparrow?"

"What?"

I trail my gaze up her body painfully slowly. "I see the way our pubic hair is matted between us because of how wet you already are. And there is nothing hotter than a woman who is aroused by you, by what you do to her, by what you do to each other. I see the way your hips crease and flare, which does something for me. It's feminine. Lush. Soft and yet capable of surviving being manhandled by me. Gives me something to hold on to. Then I see that cute innie belly button and the heaviness of those lush tits that hang with wide tawny nipples that I love touching."

I reach up and tug on both of them. I roll the nubs of her nipples between my fingers and thumbs and feel the way she clenches around my cock.

Her cheeks go pink. "Theo."

"Don't be getting shy and embarrassed when I'm appreciating my wife's body."

When I say wife , she clenches again. I tug her down to me, until our lips are so close, I can feel her warm breath against them.

"I love the way your soft skin is still naturally olive while my tan fades in winter. And yet I can still see mottled patches of red on your chest that tell me you are as aroused as I am."

I ease out and thrust up into her. Her iris, dark brown with flecks of gold around her pupil, goes wide.

She sucks in a breath and gasps.

It feels good. Too fucking good. But I still have more to say to this woman.

"I can see the edges of your scars where they wrap around your ribs and over your shoulder. And the scars on your face. And while my heart breaks for you that this happened to you, I see nothing but courage and bravery and a desire to survive. And thick lips that I love wrapped around my cock as much as I like listening to the words that fall from them."

I see tears glisten in her eyes. "Don't cry, precious. I see you. I really fucking see you. And I want to be the man who is there by your side as you step back into the obvious power you had. Whatever that looks like now."

A tear slips over her lashes, and I scoop it up with my thumb and suck it into my mouth.

"How were you hurt?" she asks, before kissing me tenderly. "Honestly."

I continue to thrust into her slowly as I debate for a moment whether telling her goes against club rules. And then I realize it doesn't matter to me whether it is or not. "Halo's half-brother was trying to kill him and Lola. He had us cornered. I don't remember the actual incident, but Halo told me I stepped between him and a man who was about to slam a large rock on his head. I took the brunt of the rock. Twice."

She slips her hand to my head, where the worst of my scars are. "You know what I see when I look at you?"

I thread my hand into her hair and tug tightly. "I'm fucking dying to know." I want nothing more than to know how she sees me.

"I see an incredibly loyal man. A man who puts the saving of a life over taking it, in a world where the latter is regarded more highly than the former. I see a man who cares deeply about other people. A man who would face his own death before he allowed a friend to be injured. A man who gave away his freedom to give me mine. I see a man who has accommodated my every need without question, who has found solutions to every problem we have come up against, and yet has never made me feel like we are less than partners when his peers view their partners as property."

I slide her hair back over her ear. "I'm still going to ask you to wear a property patch."

"And I'll wear it because I know you see me as so much more than that."

I pull her to me again and kiss her, but she pushes on my chest.

"Wait, I'm not finished."

I grin. "Well, you'd better get on with it because"—I thrust hard into her, balls deep so she can feel every inch of me—"there's something else I want to finish."

"Oh, well, I'll keep it brief. You're strong. I get hot just looking at your biceps. Your tattoos are the kind Vi writes about in her romance books. Your cock is magic, and I really like the things you do to me with it."

I can't help but laugh. "I'll keep all that in mind."

"But what I like best," she says, placing kisses along my jaw. "Is this. The way we are. The way we talk to each other. The way we're falling in love with each other."

I thrust into her again "This okay?" I ask.

She nods. "Make love to me, Theo," she says.

"Mark my chest while I do."

Sophia flicks the blade open, and I hiss as she presses the tip of the blade to my pec. I feel every millimeter of progress. It's like a tattoo, maybe a fraction more painful. But, fuck, my wife is riding my cock as she slides the knife along my flesh.

Pleasure and pain combine as I fuck her.

Lazily.

Slowly.

Deep thrusts, pauses.

I feel her heat build.

I feel the knife dig a little deeper, feel the bloom of pain and blood. A letting of everything inside me. I feel the red-hot pinch as she carves the letter S into my chest.

The friction and tension burn as my breath catches.

I don't remember all the sex I had in the past decade, but I'd put money on it that none of it felt like this. If it had, I wouldn't have let that person go. I tug her to me.

"Please," she begs. "It feels so good."

"Yeah. I feel it too." And I change nothing. Because something tells me that when a woman is telling you something feels good, you should keep doing it as is.

I can feel my own orgasm start to build, but my eyes are firmly fixed on Sophia. The way her eyelids are wide open. The way her mouth forms an O, like she can't believe how intense it all feels.

The cuts on my chest throb.

A shiver runs down my spine; my balls tighten.

"I need you to come soon, Sparrow, or I'll be finishing you off with my mouth."

Sophia's back arches, but she presses her fingertips to her initial on my chest. Her fingers slide in the blood as my wounds burn.

"Theo," she cries, and I feel her cunt spasm, choking my own orgasm from me.

I come in achingly powerful waves that bring clarity: I already love my wife. As I reach for her and tug her down to me, drenched in the scent of her, the intensity of it all hits me.

My life took this unexpected detour. But without it, I wouldn't have met Sophia.

Without it, I wouldn't be me.

I once overheard Rae talking to Briar about this concept that in every minute, you have the chance to become a completely different person. That you can change the direction of your life. Change your outlook. Even change your surroundings and your job to align with the new vision you have for yourself.

I'm Theo. I'm Switch. I'm an Outlaw. I'm a medic. I'm a son and brother. And I'm a husband in love with his wife. And I can live my life however the fuck I want.

Losing my memories has no impact on the decisions I make today about how I show up in the world. Knowing how many lives I saved or took doesn't need to impact the choices I make in this moment.

"I get to wake up tomorrow, with you here in my bed, in my arms, and it's the best fucking decision I ever made." I kiss her neck and she shivers.

"What if I run away tonight?" she asks.

I roll the two of us over. "Do I need to tie you to my bed so you don't?" I take my weight in my arms so I can look at her, grateful that my hand no longer cramps. I don't miss the way her pussy clenches.

Sophia blushes. "It's not a bad idea."

I reach between us and ease my cock out of her before tugging her down next to me, too blown away by the sex we just had to deal with the condom straightaway. "Next time, I'm going to get some handcuffs and secure you to the bed with them."

Sophia rolls onto her side. "What else should we try?" she asks.

"You trying to get me hard again?" I turn my head to face her.

She runs a finger down my face. "Maybe. I don't know. I'm curious. Every position is new to me. I watched this show while I was at the center. Some billionaire guy basically sex trafficked this girl and then they had this ‘I hate you I love you' kind of relationship with super-hot sex in it. It was the first time I masturbated…well, probably not the first time, but you know, since the whole…well. Anyway…"

I feel my cock stir and slip off the old condom before it becomes tight on my cock again. "Like I said, are you trying to get me hard again? You can't be telling me you watched chick porn and touched yourself, because that's something I'd pay to see."

She glances over at the side table. "Well, you did give me eighty dollars already tonight. You should get your money's worth."

I groan as I rub a hand over my face. "I think I just died and went to heaven."

Sophia laughs. "You know what I mean…I feel like I'm having a second sexual awakening."

My cock thoroughly engages in the conversation. "Then it will be my pleasure to be the warm body you take that sexual awakening out on. What do you want to try?"

She taps a finger over her lips. "Well, maybe with something beneath my hips, you could take me from behind."

I picture it and try to think what we could use. Pillows. Sofa cushions. "Over the edge of the bed. The mattress would take most of your body weight so your legs wouldn't have to."

Sophia slides her hand down to my cock and strokes it gently. I twitch in her hand. "That's a good idea."

"What else?"

"Maybe we could get a book of positions and try them all."

"You want a copy of the Kama Sutra; I'll get you one. You can pick a page number and we'll give it the old college try."

"It's a bit cold now, but outside in summer sometime. Maybe on your bike, if that's even possible."

"Dear God, I'm likely going to die, but what a way to go." I roll onto my side to face Sophia. Her cheeks are pink, and she looks happy.

Really fucking happy.

And I realize I am too.