23. Switch

23

SWITCH

A s the words come out of my mouth, I mean every one of them.

It is fate.

Kismet.

And where the heck do I know that word from?

"I mean it, Soph. You're meant to be here with me right now. We're supposed to be on this path together at this very moment."

"Is this optimism I'm hearing from you, Mr. Serious?"

I smile at her teasing. I love the way her eye sparkles with mischief. "Call it whatever you want. None of this could possibly be a mistake."

"What if life is more like those choose-your-own-adventure books they had in the speech therapy room? There are a million different outcomes based on the choices we make. What if the options become our fate based on our decisions?"

I run my knuckle down her cheek, then rub my thumb over her lush lower lip. "It's the exact same thing as fate. The river runs where it needs to, even if it has to wear down rocks over hundreds of years…it's still gonna run exactly where it wants. All those paths are just the water coming up against rocks and finding ways around them. Your destiny still takes you where it's meant to."

Sophia gently bites my thumb, and my cock twitches. "I like this poetic and sage and romantic side of you, tough guy. I peered around the end of the bar and saw you flip that table to save Spark and Iris. I think what we're learning about old me is that she would have greatly appreciated your courage and bravery and strength under fire. But current me likes this version of you."

"Then, as old me returns, I'll try to not forget to be this guy every now and again."

Sophia laughs, and I wrap my arms tightly around her until all our good bits line up. One brush of my lips against hers, and I'm sunk for her all over again. I roll her until she's on her back and I'm settled between her legs. Her hips tilt against mine, and it would take nothing to slide into her.

Bareback.

I don't remember having done it before, yet, somehow, I remember what bareback actually means.

But I also remember enough from the lectures Dad gave me when I was a kid that I should wrap it up unless I want to knock up the woman I'm with or catch something that would make my dick rot.

I'm sure it's not as simple as that.

"We should get tested," I say.

"Tested for what?"

"Sexually transmitted diseases. Then we don't have to use condoms."

"Wait. You can… eww." Her nose wrinkles. "Why did no one fill in the blanks about sexually transmitted diseases for me?"

"Don't overthink this now. We can use condoms and be fine. Then we can go get tested, and if neither of us has anything contagious, we can go without."

"But then I'll get pregnant."

"Not if you go on birth control. You don't want kids?" I ask.

"I don't know what I want right now. I haven't thought that far ahead about kids. Have you?"

I think about my family. The rough-and-tumble nature of my brothers. "Yeah. I want kids. I want a family like I had growing up. One with siblings who fight and tease and would defend each other to the last. And parents who love each other fiercely, through thick and thin."

Sophia reaches up and pushes a lock of hair back off my forehead and then chuckles when it flops straight back down again. "I'm sure that's the kind of childhood I had. Not sure where I fit being the only girl, but I get the feeling we were close. So, if I had to put a stick in the ground, I'd say the odds are that I'd like kids someday. But I'd be happy getting to know myself first before I spent time getting to know children."

I kiss her softly, because for all she said the words in jest, there's an ache of sadness when she talks about getting to know herself.

"I know a way you can get to know yourself," I say, my lips dangerously close to her ear. She smells…soft. Sweet. Like a man could lose himself in her for a couple of hours or a lifetime.

"What's that?" Her hands come around me and stroke down my back. It tickles in a way my cock really appreciates.

I shuffle down the bed, planting kisses as I go: on the rise of her breast, her nipple, her ribs, the soft plane of her stomach. Using my thumbs, I part her pubic hair and lips so I can swipe her with my tongue.

The gasp she emits cranks my engine.

Her knees come up, her thighs by my ears.

"This. You either get to know yourself, me, or God. I'll let you choose."

She chuckles. "I choose you, Theo."

The words make me feel more than I'm probably supposed to. I fucking love the fact she chooses me.

Her pussy is soft and wet, and I eat it like a starved man. Nothing makes me feel stronger than when I make Sophia fall apart. When I see her color rise and hear her breath catch. I dig my fingertips into her hips, holding her still as her hands slide into my hair.

Her whole body stiffens as she grinds against my face. It's messy and loud and uninhibited.

I grind my cock into the mattress, aching for release, staving off the discomfort.

When she comes, it's a relief for us both.

Climbing up her body, I place kisses on her skin, savoring the softness of it. Clutch always talks about Gwen being his soft place to land. And I finally get what he means.

If I never get the rest of my memories back, it'll be enough to replace them with new memories of Sophia.

Kissing her lips is like coming home in all uses of the word.

She's mine now. I'll never let her family get their hands on her again. Won't let her be traded for power. Unlike Halo and Spark, I don't find I need to be in control. I want a queen. An equal.

I want my Sparrow.

I lift off her, my left arm shaking as I do, but I'm learning to live with it. Sophia wriggles beneath me as I grab a condom from the drawer and then kneel to put it on.

"I know you're questioning yourself now, Soph. I know you wonder who you are, where your place in the world is. But I'm here. I'll be your constant. I'll be your anchor. I'll hold you in place until you figure out where you want to be. I promise."

"Theo," she says, her voice ripe with emotions I find hard to express.

So, I show her. I slide into her. My full length in one push. There's friction, but I keep going because nothing about her body language disagrees with my decision.

"Just desperately want you right now, really fucking bad."

I lean forward and kiss her. "Then take me." Still keeping her impaled, I grab my pillows and help Sophia lift her head so she can see what I see. "Look how fucking good we look together."

Her thick cream already coats my cock when I pull out. I gather some on my thumb and then offer it to her lips. "You ever taste yourself?" I ask.

Sophia shakes her head. "Not that I remember."

I smile at that. "You taste really fucking good." She opens her mouth, and I place my thumb inside, sliding my cock into her as she closes her mouth.

Two parts of me inside two parts of her.

My cock throbs.

Her tongue slides around my thumb, licking it clean. Then, more seductively, she licks my thumb like it's my cock.

"Fuck, Soph." My words are gruff. Layers of whiskey and need.

As I move my cock, she mirrors the action in the same way with her tongue. Same pace. Same intensity. Same need.

"Bite," I encourage. The word comes out of nowhere. But something inside me craves the bite of pain to mingle with the pleasure.

She does, but it's gentle. And I feel the need for something…

"More."

With wide eyes, she does what I ask. She clamps my thumb in place and teases me with her tongue.

It feels unbelievably good. Stripping past everything that has already happened between us.

"Hold it there, no matter what I do."

I shallow my strokes. Pressing my cock upwards until she begins to moan. Her teeth remain clamped, but her mouth opens as she gasps.

Her eyes grow wide with need and panic.

"Stop biting, and I stop fucking you," I warn, even though I have no intention of stopping.

Her gasps turn into moans. Her abs tense, her body clenching as she lets go. A gush of liquid runs between us, coating my cock, spilling out onto the bedding. But I don't give a fuck. I fucking love it.

"Theo," she cries, letting go of my thumb.

I miss the sting of it, but my cock has a mind of its own. My lips clash with hers as I lie down over her and grip the cheeks of her ass.

"Bite my shoulder." The words are a command.

Sophia pulls me down to her and does as I say. It's like a switch flips inside me, and suddenly I'm fucking her.

Hard.

Possibly uncaring.

I don't have to tell her what it does to me.

She knows.

She sucks hard, likely bruising my skin, and it feels so painfully good. Intimate on a level I hadn't expected.

My cock aches, and the pain pushes my orgasm back. It's like a seesaw, teetering on the most intense line between the two. Clinging to a place where both exist together.

Everything disappears. Nothing comes into focus.

Boundaries blur.

She releases my skin as she comes a second time, sucking in air after she cries out my name. Then her teeth are back on me.

I thought I'd willingly bleed for Sophia. But does that mean I'd bleed at someone else's hands to save her? Or at her hands because I can't think of anything more sexually arousing?

While she doesn't break my skin in that way, I can't help wishing she would.

My blood running between the two of us is the hottest thing I can think of. Images of Sophia taking that switchblade of hers and drawing a line across my chest. The thick liquid spreading as we fuck.

I want to instruct her how to do it. I want to see how deep I'll let her go before the pain blocks everything else out. Then I'll stitch myself and heal before letting her do it all over again.

The combination of the visual and the way her cunt is squeezing the ever-loving fuck out of me has me coming harder than I remember.

The world shimmers at the edges. Likely all that blood I was thinking about pulsing through my temples as I come deep inside Sophia.

My vision blurs a little. Probably to do with my head injury. But I ride out the last waves of pleasure before reaching between us to pull out and take care of the condom.

When I kneel up, Sophia gasps.

"Oh my God, I made such a mess of your shoulder. I'm so sorry."

I try to glance down but can't really see. Instead, I run my hand over the tender skin. It burns a little to the touch, which makes my spent cock twitch with life and makes me sigh.

"Guess I learned something about me," I say, taking her hands. "I fucking loved that you hurt me. Does that freak you out?"

Sophia struggles to her knees, and I offer my hands in assistance. It takes a second for her to maneuver her left leg beneath her, but she manages it. And I'm really fucking proud of her.

"No. I liked being told to bite you. But I don't want to hurt you."

She says the words, yet without thinking, she presses her fingers to the bite marks. They burn in response, and I close my eyes and sigh. There is something utterly peaceful about it. The way my brain settles, the way my soul sucks the heat in and warms me.

"You didn't. At least, not in the way you think of hurt and pain. You think you'd be open to doing more of that?"

She blushes a little, her cheeks pink. "As long as you tell me what to do. What you need. And that you tell me to stop if it hurts more than you need."

I tip her chin. "You really liked it?"

"It was hot, Theo. Yes. But I don't know…"

I touch my knuckle to her cheek. "Safe words work both ways. I'll say ‘Harley' if it's too much. And I'll tell you expressly what I'd like so you never have to guess. I want that control, even in this."

"Okay. You'll tell me what you need. And we'll both use ‘Harley' if it's more than we can do or take."

I lean closer and kiss her.

Hoping she realizes just how precious she's become to me.