14. Sophia

14

SOPHIA

" W e start making ourselves at home," Theo says.

"We do?" There's a pinch of uncertainty in my voice. I hate that it's there, but everything suddenly feels overwhelming.

"Look at me, Sparrow." There's a certain command in Theo's tone, and I can't help responding to it, even as I'm sure he'll see straight through how I'm feeling.

In the quiet of the room, I do as he says.

He tugs me closer, and I feel his cock harden against my belly.

"Guess I like it when women do as I say," he says with a grin. He reaches for the pins in my hair and removes them one by one and then removes the elastic holding it all together.

"I'm reasonably certain I won't always do as you say."

"I'll take my chances. But to answer your question, yes, we start to make ourselves at home. Because a home is where we are. It's not a specific set of bricks and mortar or things. It's us. So, this is home tonight. We're gonna make this bed. And while we do, you're gonna think about whether you're okay sharing it with me tonight. And we're going to ask questions to get to know each other. We'll do whatever physio we should be doing. And we're gonna eat. And maybe Halo will find that bottle of champagne and we'll have a glass to toast getting married. And we'll shower and fall into bed. And tomorrow we get to wake up married and figure out what the fuck we do next."

He's a hot box, his body warm against mine. I place my head against his chest. It's so sturdy and reassuring, and it's a precious feeling. "You make it sound so easy."

"It's as easy as we make it."

"I really want to help set things up, but I don't think I can stand for much longer."

Theo kisses me softly. "Then let me fix that." He grabs a chair and places me on it. "You sit here."

He rips the plastic cover off the mattress and quickly finds the right sheets.

"If you pass me the pillows and pillowcases, I can be making those up."

Between us we make steady work preparing the bed.

"What's your favorite color?" Theo asks.

"Still deciding," I say. "There were some beautiful peonies on Dr. Polunin's desk. Like a deep, deep pink. I liked those. But I also like the color of the tiles around the pool."

"The turquoise?"

"Yeah. Those. And then I watched a documentary on the Amazon rainforest. That deep green was so beautiful. What about you?"

"Used to be navy blue. Now I'm thinking it's red."

His eyes rove over my dress, and I feel heat hitting my cheeks. "Sweet talker."

Theo winks at me. "Swear I never even thought about the color until I saw you in it. You look real fucking pretty today, Sparrow."

I slide my eye patch off and reveal my prosthetic eye. I figure if I can't sit here as myself in front of my pretend husband who is starting to feel more real every moment, then I shouldn't even be here.

"You okay?" he asks.

I stuff a pillow into the soft case. "The elastic on the band feels like it gets tighter and tighter as the day goes on. It gives me a headache eventually."

"Then don't wear it. Not around me. Or in our home. Or even outside with everyone else. Niro doesn't give a fuck about what everyone else thinks."

I shake my head. "You may think that because of the confident way he deals with life, but I will guarantee he does care. Favorite movie?"

"Hmm. I watched an older movie while I was in the hospital. The Shawshank Redemption . Great actors. Great plot. I really liked it. You?"

"You'll laugh."

Theo stops where he's stuffing a duvet into the corner of its cover. "You got me intrigued. Tell me."

"I started watching all these Christmas romance movies that were streaming."

"We only just hit fall," Theo says with a chuckle.

"Why can't Christmas be year round? In my favorite one, this woman's husband tells her he wants a divorce and leaves her the day their son leaves for college. So, she goes off on safari and ends up working at an elephant sanctuary and hooks up with a hot pilot who flies these small planes. I want to go see the world, Theo. Can we go sometime?"

"You ask me with that look on your face and that wistful tone to your voice and I'd move heaven or hell to make it happen." He holds my gaze for a moment and doesn't make me feel pathetic for wanting something I could never afford given I have no job prospects and my family will likely cut me off.

We work in silence. Theo hands me a small pocketknife and passes me boxes and packages. He doesn't assume I can't help or that I'm too weak. Just that I need to accommodate the pain of standing.

Our things get unpacked and put away. Clothes get hung. Toiletries are placed in the bathroom. I place my smashed phone and driver's license in the drawer next to the bed. For some reason, the police had kept both, and an officer came to the rehab center to return them.

Theo disappears for a moment to his room and returns with some clothes. He places one of his T-shirts on a pillow.

"For you to sleep in," he says.

"Thank you," I say as I open another box and find a lamp.

Theo chuckles. "You're welcome. I know this isn't as plush as the rooms at the center, but it's ours, and that makes it a million times better. Can't wait to fall into bed."

A knock at the door makes me jump, and Halo appears, holding a stack of pizza boxes. "Got you some pies from the pizza place down the street. Remembered your usual order, Switch. No clue what you like, sweetheart, so I got you what I usually get for Ari. But I'm sure Switch'll share."

"Smells so good," I say as he places it on the desk.

Another man I haven't met brings the drinks in and leaves without a word. The patch on his back says Prospect .

"You finding everything?" Halo asks.

"It's like Christmas undoing all the boxes," I say.

He smiles at me. "I'll be back with some glasses. Otherwise, are you two good?"

"We are." Theo places his hand on my shoulder. "Was everyone okay with us just hanging here tonight?"

"Yeah," Halo says. "A mix of concern though. You two have been through the wars of late."

"We're good. Better to have a safe place to land."

Halo raises an eyebrow. "Safe?"

Theo barely blinks. "Soft. I meant soft. Words get muddled."

"Yeah, well," Halo says finally. "Clutch might have told Gwen you got married. So be prepared and rest up. You're getting a party tomorrow night whether you want one or not. I told ‘em you might prefer an afternoon thing. So Catalina said you should hang your dress up properly and not let Theo ruin it tonight, if you catch her drift."

I feel the heat rise in my cheeks as I look down at the floor.

Halo laughs, a loud guffaw. "Aww, little ones who get embarrassed are my favorites. Let me go get you those glasses, then I'm off home to my own little ones."

The door closes behind him. "Halo has kids?"

"He calls his old lady, Ari, ‘little one.' And they have a daughter…her name?" He sighs. "Can't remember. Don't ask to see pictures. When he used to come see me at the hospital, he would show me all the pictures he'd taken. Lola! That's her name. Lola eating grass, Lola breathing, Lola being an utterly normal baby doing normal baby shit while he's talking about it like she just performed a...what's the word for those magic tricks Jesus did?"

"Miracle." I stroke his arm. I can tell he's getting tired. His words and memory are more taxing. "I wonder what it must feel like to grow up with a parent who thinks of you so highly as opposed to my dad, who seems to think I'm a pawn in a chess game. Which…shit…should I reply to all those messages?"

"Only you can decide. I'll support you. But for what it's worth, I think a message telling them you're safe and happy would be more than they deserve. However, it might bring some calm, even if it's just for tonight."

"Do you think they all knew? Like, is my mamà aware? All of my brothers?" I ask. My mind starts to fill with questions. "Were they all just waiting for me to get better? Counting down the days?"

Theo crouches in front of me. "Those questions and their answers won't bring you any peace tonight."

I look at Theo, taking in the way the bristles of his scruff grow across his cheek. He has such long eyelashes. And he feels like something…someone…I can hold on to. "I feel lost, Theo."

"I know, Sparrow. But I'm right here."

Theo kisses me, another of those whisper-soft kisses that make me melt.

"I feel like I'm fumbling my way through how the fuck to comfort my wife because I don't know what makes you feel better in situations like this," he says, sliding his hands into my hair.

"What do you want to do?" I ask. My voice has a breathy quality to it that I'm unused to.

"My body is urging me to do more than just kiss you, but I need to remember that you're practically a virgin. Zero memory of sex. I have no idea if physical comfort is what you need right now."

This time when he kisses me, he ruthlessly seeks my tongue with his and I sigh as I tumble into what we're doing. Theo stands and tugs me to my feet.

His arms tighten around me and his fingers have just reached the zipper of my dress when my stomach rumbles embarrassingly loudly and I remember we've barely eaten since breakfast this morning.

Theo groans and then smiles at me. "Shouldn't be undressing you while you're hungry. That's definitely not taking care of you. Let's eat," he says and leads me to the pizza boxes.

We open them and look at the toppings. "Guess you really like meat?" I say as we take in the pizza loaded with pepperoni, bacon, and sausage. The receipt on the box says it's a meat lovers with double the toppings.

"We're about to find out why," Theo says.

The other pizza is a little heavier on the veggies. Chicken with peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes, and onions. "Which do you want to try?"

"I'm going in with the meat," Theo says.

I tear him a piece and put it on the paper plate.

"Thanks, Sparrow."

I tear a piece of the same and return to my seat as Theo sits on the end of the bed. It's steaming hot, and I blow on it before I take a bite. I made the mistake of not doing so early during my time at the center.

Alessio had snuck in some stuffed-crust pizza because I'd seen it on television in a movie. I bit straight into it, just as Alessio had started to warn me that I'd burn my mouth, but the damage was done. Large blisters appeared on the roof of my mouth.

As my oldest brother, he was the one I felt closest to. His gestures always seemed genuine. Kind. Thoughtful. A whisper teases my consciousness that I'm going to miss him most of all.

There's a knock on the door, and Halo returns with two champagne flutes and two regular glasses, followed by Vex.

I swallow my pizza. "Thank you."

"Pleasure. How's the food?" he asks.

"Sinful."

Halo rubs the top of my head. "Better than all that fancy shit you were eating in rehab?"

"So much better," Theo says.

"Good. I'm out. Quite a few of the guys have gone home. See you two in the morning." He offers Theo a key. "Key to the room."

"Thanks."

Vex offers Sophia her phone. "There were two trackers on it. An in-phone service where you share location, and a bit of buried code. Both are gone. But I have replaced it with some tracking of my own."

I don't know how I feel about that, but then again, I would want Theo to know where I am if my family got to me. "Thank you. That makes me feel safer."

Vex tips his head in acknowledgement once. "See you two in the morning."

And with short goodbyes, we're on our own again.

"Want to try the other pizza?" I ask Theo.

He shakes his head. "I'm not fucking with perfection. I had good taste in pizza."

I laugh. "I'm going to try it. That might be too much meat for me to digest before bedtime."

The idea of bedtime begins to move from a conceptual nightly routine to the very real idea that I'm about to get into bed with my husband.

My husband.

Theo stands and grabs the champagne bottle. He unwraps it with ease and pops the cork.

"You made that look easy," I say.

"I'm so intrigued by this separation of knowledge. You know, autobiographical memory versus procedural memory. It's really interesting to see where things fall. Or to decide whether you did a thing because it was just common sense. Like opening the champagne." He grabs a glass and pours it, tilting the glass slightly. "Did I open it with ease because it's procedural memory? Or did I look at the wrapper and know all the shit covering and in the top of the bottle had to go?"

"I'd say it was the former, because you did some things that wouldn't be my first guess. Like the way you knew to ease the cork out of the top, that you thought to point it away from the flat-screen TV or my face, and you angled the glass as you poured."

Theo laughs at that. "There are plenty of things I could think of doing to your face, but firing a cork into it is not one of them."

He offers me the champagne glass and pours one for himself before crouching in front of me. "Here's to us," he says, tapping the rim of his glass to mine. "So far, having a wife is pretty fucking cool."

"Having a husband isn't too weird either."

Theo grins at that. "I'll take not being too weird."

"You know what I mean. I like it. Having a husband."

"Good. Now finish your food."