Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

" T hank you for that punch to Ellington's nose, Ram. I'm sorry it came to that but not sorry I heard a crack," Leo said as they rode toward his home.

"You are most welcome. Ellington is a parasite."

"N-no arguments here," Leo said, then snapped his teeth together to stop them from chattering.

"What with the plunge into the Thames and slap from Lady Lowell, if I may suggest a nip of brandy to help you sleep when you reach your house," Ram said. "You must be chilled to the bone by now."

"Thank you, but I am well," Leo lied, still reeling from seeing Hyacinth and the humiliation of society watching him behave as he had tonight. He'd done what he'd vowed never to do again: given society another reason to have his name on their lips.

Leo wanted to crawl into his bed and stay there. But he knew it would be worse for her, because unlike him, Hyacinth would have to face the titters and whispers that would result from their argument tonight .

"So, you and Lady Lowell were once betrothed?" Ram asked.

"I have no wish to discuss this further, Ram."

"But you will, seeing as I will simply ask one of your siblings if you don't tell me."

Leo sighed.

"Come on. Spill, Leo."

"We had an understanding. I had just not proposed as yet when my father took his life."

"And you walked away from her without a word?"

"I'm sure you heard everything that passed between us, Ram, just as those standing above us did." Leo shivered as a blast of cold air whipped through his damp clothes. Gritting his teeth, he refused to show how much he was suffering.

What had happened to her? There was a fire in Hyacinth that had not been there before. She'd challenged him, and that had never happened all those years ago. Yes, they had not seen each other for years, but she was not the innocent he'd once known. Leo would stake his life on that.

"When did she wed?" The words sounded like a demand, but in that moment, he didn't have politeness in him. There was a tightness inside his chest, which was due to seeing her, and a chill in his bones from the icy wind buffeting his wet clothes to his body.

"She was married when I returned from India," Ram said calmly. "I first met her at a musical. She was seated in the last row, clearly wishing she was any place but there, forced to listen to the hideous warble of the woman singing. There was a seat beside her. I took it."

When his friend fell silent, Leo only just stopped himself from demanding Ram tell him what they talked about.

"I doubt she remembers the occasion, but I do, as I had just entered society," Ram continued. "She told me that there was every hope that our ears would never be the same after Miss Alderslade's performance, and that next time, we should plug our ears with something."

He could imagine her saying that. She'd had a sense of humor when he'd coaxed it from her.

"We then talked about her children, Leo," Ram added.

"Pardon?"

"She has two…. Well, they are Lord Lowell and his first wife's, but Lady Lowell called them hers."

He'd been reeling that she married someone else, which he had no right to do, but to know she now had custody of two children also… he didn't know what to think.

Furthermore, he had no right to think anything, if he was honest. She was a stranger to him now, as he was to her.

"Your aunt and uncle surely know her," Ram continued. "They walk in society occasionally, even though you others are too scared to."

"We are not too s-scared," Leo snapped.

"For pity's sake," Ram snapped, pulling his arms from the sleeves of his jacket. He then threw it at Leo.

He was now so cold, he did not argue and wrapped it around him, nearly moaning at the warmth.

"When will you return to society, then?" Ram looked at him. "Enough time has passed, surely, and with your family's support, it will be easier. Words no longer have the power to harm any of you with so much love and happiness now in your lives."

"I don't want to," Leo snapped. "And after the exhibition I just performed, I'm fairly sure my name will be on everyone's lips for some time."

Ram started clucking like a chicken, but as punching him would likely hurt Leo more, he simply said, "I'm bloody freezing, so shut up, because I can think only of the warmth that I have waiting for me at Crabbett Close."

"Gray too. There is nothing stopping him and Ellen from entering society," Ram added as if Leo had not just spoken. He thought about moving into a gallop, but the streets were busy, and Ram would simply do the same.

"Are you quite done with the lecture?" Leo glared at him.

"No, but that will do for now. Back to Lady Lowell. She is very popular with both men and women. Her beauty, of course, plays a part in that," Ram added.

Leo was surprised he felt the lance of jealousy considering his body was a block of ice, but he did, and it was not welcome. He had no right to feel anything for Hyacinth now. Because he'd believed it the best action to take for her, he'd walked away from her without looking back. Clearly, she believed otherwise.

You left me without a word.

There had been hurt in those words. But he'd done the right thing… hadn't he?

"She rarely dances with a man more than once and is most often chatting with people," Ram said. "I danced with her last week, actually. It was the most entertaining conversation I'd had with anyone in a society ballroom since I arrived in London. We discussed the plight of women struggling to survive while earning money on the streets. It's clearly something she is passionate about."

"How did such a subject come up?" Leo asked instead of the other fifteen questions he had. "Surely ladies of the night are not a subject for a woman like Lady Lowell?"

"Don't be a snob, Leo. Many, both men and women, care about the plight of such people."

"I'm not a sn-snob," he hissed. "I understand and help where I can. But I didn't think she would."

"Because clearly you know her so well," Ram mocked.

"If you keep poking at me, I will not be r-responsible for my actions," Leo said with a growl .

Ram snorted. "You would fall off your horse if you lunged at me. Right now, I should imagine several of your body parts have stopped working, as they are frozen."

He wasn't wrong.

"I have heard some of the good deeds she has done."

"What good deeds?" Leo demanded. The Hyacinth he'd once known had been nothing more than her family and society expected her to be. A young lady he'd seen as someone who would make him a suitable wife.

If Leo was honest—and only with himself—he'd not thought his love for Hyacinth a deep and sonnet-worthy passion. He'd thought about her fleetingly, of course, in the years since he left society, but there had only been a small regret. He would have married her as was expected and no doubt grown to love her more, and they would have muddled along together.

But it would not have been a love like Alex, Ellen, and Uncle Bram had. It would have been like his parents' marriage. Soulless.

Hyacinth had been one of the diamonds in her first season, and he had wanted her because many others did. Because he'd been a shallow, self-indulgent fool.

"Lady Lowell is on many charitable boards," Ram continued, oblivious, thankfully, to Leo's thoughts.

"Really?" He tried to reconcile himself with the girl he'd once known doing such things. She'd giggled a lot, which had annoyed him, and agreed with his every word while rarely venturing anything into the conversation or having an opinion.

"Really. She's well respected in society."

Leo exhaled in relief as they turned into Crabbett Close. He was going to move out as soon as he found suitable lodgings, but right now, he was glad there would be light and love in his home when he reached it. Plus, warm clothes and food, which he desperately needed.

"And why are you coming to my uncle's house, when yours is that way?" Leo pointed to his right.

"Your family has a far superior supper tray that I can swoon over, plus I need to explain why I brought you home looking like a landed trout."

"There is that." Leo sneezed.

"So, I had not heard even a whisper that you and Lady Lowell were once betrothed, which is odd. Even Ellen has not told me, and I will have a serious talk with her about that."

"My sister is loyal to me."

"Yes, you bloody Nightingales are fiercely protective of one another. It is the trait I loathe most about you."

"J-jealously is a weakness," Leo taunted.

"How is it you fence with your peers but will not enter society?" Ram said with a relentlessness Leo hadn't realized he had until now.

They walked down the street, which circled at the end and had a large body of grass in the center, where all manner of odd things took place. The houses were of different shapes and sizes. Some butted up to the next, others standing alone.

"That's different, and we face a few snide comments there as well." Leo thought he was now in mortal danger of having a finger lopped off as he began to lose feeling in his extremities.

"I had no idea that your sensibilities were so easily hurt, Leo. I'd thought you had the hide of an elephant before today. You always seem to not give a damn about what people think of you. It seems you have had me fooled."

He shot Ram a look. There was no smirk on his face, and his eyes were steady as they stared back at Leo .

"You need to step back into your life, my friend. Lucky for you, I am just the man to help you."

"Not bloody likely," Leo muttered. He never wanted to face those that had turned on his family again.