Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

C yn's heart had yet to slow to its normal rhythm as the carriage carried them home. She was wrapped in two blankets and holding Charles's whisky flask.

"Sip it slowly. It would not do to arrive home to Meg and Simon tippled," Charles said from the seat across from her.

She took another mouthful, a smaller one, and let the alcohol burn its way down her throat. Cyn was warming up now, and the reality of what had just happened was sinking in.

She'd looked to the platform and seen Leo. That had made her stumble, and she'd fallen into the water. He'd rescued her.

"I don't remember him that well, but he is certainly a handsome man," Lady Letitia Bancroft said from the seat beside her husband.

They had become friends when Kenneth had introduced them. He and Charles were business partners. Letitia and Charles Bancroft had been the ones she'd turned to after he'd passed for support. They had been there for Cyn, Simon, and Meg ever since. She would be forever grateful to them .

"I don't think Cyn wants to discuss Lord Seddon, my sweet," Charles said.

"It will be hard not to, as his name will be on everyone's lips and coupled with hers after the display they just put on," Letitia added. "So, she may as well get used to it by talking to us."

Cyn closed her eyes on a moan.

She had just seen Leo, the man she should have married and had once worshipped. Well, that had soon passed along with her belief that life would be exactly as she and her family had planned it to be.

Because you were a na?ve fool.

"You do not speak of him or that time, but I know you were to wed him, because you told me. Also, that his family was ruined after his father took his life," Letitia said.

"I really don't want to talk about this," Cyn said.

"Well, we now know he walked away from you without a word," her friend continued.

Elegantly dressed as always, with her flaming red hair pulled up on top of her head in a froth of curls, Letitia Bancroft was Cyn's best friend in society and loved the man at her side to distraction. He carried his title well but was the opposite in every way of his exotic wife. Usually in subdued colors, Charles was tall, thin, with brown eyes and hair, and the least flamboyant person Cyn knew.

"And that you kept his cuff link. It's all very odd that he tracked you down to get it back now, so many years later," Letitia said.

"I kept it to remind me what a fool I'd been," Cyn said, which was only partially the truth. She'd just never gotten around to throwing it away. Clearly, if tonight told her anything, it was that she should have.

"How diligent you were to that task, seeing as you were carrying it with you tonight," Letitia said, her tone mocking .

"She has just been tossed into ice-cold water and met the man who broke her heart. I think we can be a bit nicer to her, don't you, my love?" Charles, always the peacemaker, said.

"He was very handsome," Letitia continued, undaunted. "But also has much anger smoldering inside him."

Cyn had seen a flash of that anger, and then he'd been the cool lord once more—very different, as she was, to the people they'd been. "Once, he was never angry. Usually laughing or mocking. Society had loved him."

"And you have not seen him since he left?" Charles asked.

Cyn shook her head.

"We have, of course, met his aunt and uncle the few times they attend social events. Lovely couple and clearly not worried about the gossip surrounding their name," Letitia added. "I can't believe he never contacted you, Cyn. That's extremely shoddy behavior, even considering that the average society gent has terrible manners."

"No, please, I cannot take any more flattery," Charles drawled.

"Not you, my love. You are the epitome of a gentleman," Letitia said.

"I am relieved."

Cyn had once been a na?ve fool who believed Leo cared for her, and that he would never simply walk away from her without a backward glance. She was no longer that gullible fool, but a widow who ran her family's household and businesses alone.

"It was shoddy behavior, but then his father had just taken his life," she said, able now to admit with the hindsight of age and distance that what Leo and his family suffered must have been horrendous. She'd reacted to seeing him tonight like the young innocent fool she'd once been. It had been the shock, Cyn told herself. If ever they met again, she would be in control .

"It must have been devastating for you when he simply disappeared," Charles said.

She hadn't wanted to believe it was over. That her happiness had been dashed, and Cyn would not live out her silly, innocent dreams of a happily-ever-after with Leo. So, she'd gone to his house and stood outside the front door, only to be turned away. She'd written to him, but he had not replied. It took her six months to stop grieving the man she'd loved. Then her future husband had approached her with his proposal for her future, and she'd moved on with her life.

"Well, I'm quite sure that after tonight, he will have no wish to see you again either," Letitia said. "But now I want to know how it went tonight with your efforts to gain more funding for the agency."

"Wonderful," Cyn said, happy to change the subject. "Lady Tilbury was most impressed and wants to come and visit the Phoenix Agency to see if she wishes to donate to the worthy cause of aiding women into gainful employment."

"Of course, you forgot to mention that most of those women are ladies of the night," Letitia added.

"I doubt she would feel so charitable if I did," Cyn said.

"And you hide it by stating that the Phoenix Agency is simply for all women seeking work," Charles said. "Kenneth would be very proud of you."

"He would be," Cyn said. Her husband had been a cool, emotionless man, and he only unbent slightly at home with his children. Fair-minded if a little gruff, Kenneth had taught her to survive in a world she was not equipped to without the protection of a husband. He had also championed the disadvantaged members of society. He'd once told her that it was not their fault they had not been born having their every need met. Before he'd died, he'd told her to continue on with what he'd started, and she was more than happy to oblige.

Theirs had not been a marriage formed in love. But she'd learned a great deal about life and how to contain her emotions from her late husband.

"Be careful where you tread there, Cyn. Not everyone will be pleased with what you do at the agency. There are those who control the ladies of the night you aid and have no wish to relinquish that," Charles said. "I am always here should you need me."

"Thank you, but I will have a care," Cyn said.

"I'm sorry seeing Lord Seddon upset you, Cyn." Letitia squeezed her hand. "And there will be gossip, but we will face it together."

"Morning callers." Cyn sighed. "I think I will have many over the next few days."

"Very possibly. Send word if they get too much for you. I am excellent at clearing a room," Letitia said with a wicked smile.

It was the tiredness that had tears filling her eyes as she said goodbye to her friends. That and the fact she'd seen Leo again. The man had always been far too handsome, and although she'd hoped otherwise, it seemed he was now even more so. Why could he not have lost his hair or put on an excessive amount of weight? Cyn had wanted to see him again and feel nothing. That had not been the case. Not that it mattered. He did not walk in society, and she did, so they would not have to face each other again.

Cyn was part of society because it was important for her children's future. One day they would walk in society too, and likely marry someone from that world, so she kept up appearances and stayed visible as their father would have wished.

Stepping inside the Lowell town house, she was greeted with a loud shriek.

"Mother!" Meg came running down the stairs, all arms and legs, like a colt. "Good Lord, you are all wet. "

"I had a wee accident when the boat brought us back to the bank from the Duke of Allender's yacht. Why are you not in bed?" She kissed her daughter's cheek. Tall like Kenneth, she had dark hair and blue eyes, and she was, according to her elder brother, who was coming down the stairs behind her in a more sedate manner, excessively annoying.

"Because she is trying to wheedle hot chocolate and toast with lashings of butter out of Mrs. Mayberry," Simon said, arriving next. "You need to dry off and get warm, Mother."

Looking at her sixteen-year-old stepson was like looking at a younger version of the man she'd married. He was steady natured and calm usually, unless his sister got under his skin.

When their father had approached her with his proposal, she had said yes, and she'd never regretted marriage to her late husband once. She loved her son and daughter, and they had changed her life for the better at a time when she'd thought nothing ever would. Yes, sometimes she longed to be held by a man like she was special to him, as Charles did Letitia, but for the most part, she was happy.

"Yes, I will change, and then we will meet for hot chocolate and buttered toast in the small parlor," Cyn said.

"You do know that I am sixteen, don't you, Mother?" Simon said. "I could drink tea," he mocked her. "And I would like to hear the full story of how you fell into the water."

"Such a great age," Cyn said. "However, hot chocolate is better for all of us before bed, and I promise there is nothing more to the story than my clumsiness."

The huge town house that they rattled about in was a home for the three of them, and it had been their sanctuary in the months after they'd lost Kenneth.

Lord Kenneth Lowell had been an astute man who nurtured the inheritance his father dwindled, into a fortune. Their marriage had been another business contract to him. He'd taught his young wife everything he knew because his heart had been failing him, and he was determined his children would be left in good hands… her hands.

So, Cyn had pushed aside memories of Leo and the burning love her innocent heart had felt for him and learned to be a countess who could control a fortune until her son was of an age to do so.

"Good evening," their butler said, appearing just as they prepared to climb the stairs. "You are all wet, my lady."

"Good evening, Hadleigh, and yes, I can see that and am about to go to my room and change. We will take hot chocolate and toast in the small west parlor, if you please."

"The fire is already lit, my lady, so I will bring the toasting forks."

"Lashings of hot chocolate too, Hadders," Meg said.

"And jam, Hadders. Plenty of jam," Simon added.

"Of course, I didn't know you could eat toast without jam, my lord. I will send Prue to you at once, my lady." Hadleigh was not overly tall, of large build, and known for his wicked sense of humor. Kenneth had told Cyn, when she'd entered his household as a terrified young woman, that he was a font of knowledge should she need anything. That had proved correct through the trying times after her husband had passed.

She liked to think a great deal had changed since then. There was spontaneous laughter and the occasional speck of dust. Kenneth had been a stickler for cleanliness and loathed loud noises.

"Meet me in the parlor." Cyn waved her children off. They ran up the stairs.

"I shall inform the cook to make lashings of hot chocolate, my lady."

"Thank you, Hadleigh."

Cyn felt weary and cold as she climbed the stairs, her eyes going to the portrait of the man who had given a heartbroken young girl hope.

"I hope you are proud of what we have become without you, Kenneth." The portrait of her late husband hung above the stairs and was an excellent portrayal of the man she'd married.

In life, he had been more like a stern father to her, and he'd educated her on how to survive without him when the time came. He'd been the most intelligent man she'd known, and while he was not demonstrative to those he loved, Cyn would always be honored that it was her he'd chosen to care for his children.

She picked up her sodden skirts and ran up the stairs.

"You are a woman of great intellect, Cyn. A woman who does not need a man to find her way in this world." Kenneth's words always slid into her mind when she needed them. And tonight, after seeing Leo, she needed to remember them.

The house was decorated with touches of old and new. Some rooms she'd kept the same, as Kenneth had loved them. Others she'd put her mark on with the help of the children. The result was a home they all loved and felt comfortable in. This was their sanctuary.

Her room was large, with a desk she often sat at to write letters and a sofa to read on while her bare feet warmed before the fire. They all often sprawled out in here.

"My lady!" Prue, her maid, said, hurrying into the room behind her. "What has happened? Hadleigh said you are all wet."

"I was clumsy, Prue, and fell into the Thames, but as you see, I am unhurt."

Prunella Bromley was large, dependable, and lacking a sense of humor. Kenneth had employed her to watch over both Cyn and his children because she was a large, formidable presence .

Stripping off her sodden clothes, Cyn changed into her nightdress and dressing gown and then slipped her feet into slippers. Warm now, she left her room and found her children seated on the floor, arguing over toppings for the toast that they were charring in the flames.

"Here, Mother. Come and sit before the fire after your impromptu swim, and I shall pour your hot chocolate, as Simon is intent only on filling his belly," Meg said.

"Harsh but true."

"Was it a lovely night before you had your swim?" Meg asked.

"You could have drowned, Mother," Simon said soberly. "Falling in the water wearing all those clothes?—"

"Someone jumped into the water and saved me. All is well, Simon, don't fret."

"Did you enjoy your night until you fell into the water?" Meg asked again.

"Most of it," she said. "Now tell me what you two got up to."

This was a tradition in the Lowell household, and the first night she'd partaken, they had still all been dressed in their day clothes, as Kenneth was not one for informality. But they had toasted crumpets or bread and drunk hot chocolate.

She had relaxed more of Kenneth's strict rules since he had passed, doing this in their nightwear being one. But for the most, she adhered to his wishes when raising his children.

"Who did you speak to tonight, Mother?" Meg asked.

"I met someone from my past, actually," she said.

"Who?" Meg said, handing her a steaming cup of hot chocolate.

"Lord Seddon, and many years ago, we were to marry."

"What happened?" Meg asked .

"You'll burn that," Cyn said, stalling for time as she pointed at the charred edges of the bread.

"Just how I like it." Simon smirked.

"I met Lord Seddon at my first ball, actually. I think he danced with me because he felt sorry for me, as I was shy, and it was my first season." She felt the smile tug at the corners of her mouth at the memory. Cyn had taken one look at Leo and tumbled headlong in love.

"So, he wasn't a bad man, then?" Simon asked.

"No, not bad. A spoiled nobleman, yes, but not bad. Like many in society, he was raised to believe he was better than most."

"Like Simon." Meg smirked.

They sat across from her, backs resting on the sofa, shoulders touching, watching her closely. She saw the similarities between them. Their noses and eye shape—so many little things you never noticed until they were close.

"I am not spoiled. I am lordly," he said in a snooty tone that had Cyn and Meg giggling.

"I'm pleased you married Father and not Lord Seddon, but why didn't you?" Simon said.

"Because his father was ruined in the eyes of society, and the family disgraced. One day, he was in my life, and then the next, not," Cyn said.

"And you loved him, so you were very upset," Meg said softly.

"I was, but that soon changed when your father asked me to marry him, and I got to be a mother to you two," she said, smiling.

In fact, she'd wondered if the pain of Leo leaving her would ever pass, because at the time, she'd taken to her room and wept as if the great gaping chasm in her heart would never heal. Then she'd grown up and realized that, in fact, she did not need a man who did not want her.

And tonight she met that man again.