27. Worthy

27

Worthy

Alice

I've eaten dinner, taken a shower, done some cleaning around the apartment, and tidied up my room twice. I'm now out of excuses, so I lie down on my bed, grab my old pair of wired headphones, and gather my courage.

My pulse accelerates as I plug it in and press Play. Deacon clears his throat, and his voice hits my ears, sending my mind into turmoil.

"I wanted to write you an old-style letter, like in those historical novels you love so much, but I figured I'd talk instead. Since you're so into voices, I thought it could work in my favor. And after what I said to you, I need all the help I can get."

He pauses, and I suck in a small intake of breath.

"Words," he says in that deep, gravelly voice of his. "It's crazy, the impact they have. They can make your day or destroy your life. Comfort you or bring you down. And I'll spend the rest of my life hating myself for the words I said to you. I'm sorry I lashed out. I didn't mean those things. The truth is, you've been nothing but a positive influence on me and Lola since the day we met. I was scared and angry, and I took it out on you."

My heart clenches, and I close my eyes. I have every reason to hit the Pause button right now. I knew he was going to make excuses. But as much as I want to pull out my earbuds, I can't. I'm hypnotized by his rumbly voice and the regrets that swim just beneath it.

"You don't have to forgive me," he continues. "If the roles were reversed, I probably wouldn't. In fact, I wouldn't even be listening to this. But you're not me. More than that, we're polar opposites. I'm the screw-up, and you're perfection. The nicest person I've ever met, who always knows what to say and what to do. The woman who sports a disarming smile and fights for romance and true love. "

My heart starts beating like a sledgehammer as an odd sensation of warmth overwhelms me.

"And I know I hurt you deeply," he says. "But I can't stay away. You brought me to my knees, showed me what life could be. So, I'm holding onto hope that while I was falling crazy in love with you, you might have fallen for me too. And maybe, just maybe, we have a shot at this happily ever after thing. You deserve it, and I'll do anything to become worthy of giving it to you."

The recording stops, and a lone tear rolls down my cheek. My heart both hurts and thaws at the same time. Hayley was right. This was his grand gesture. Part of me is mad at him for using my weakness against me, but his words were perfection, and I can tell he meant every one. Love is complicated and full of obstacles, but if there's one thing I know, it's that the relationships that survive them are the ones that endure.

Deacon's right. I do believe in true love, and I'll always fight for it because it's worth it. I may have doubted it for a while, but I won't stop believing. That short time we spent together as a couple was the happiest of my life. But I have to be brave if I want a shot at this. Deacon put himself out there, and now I have to do the same.

Without debating it further, I jump off my bed and hurry next door. The bar is lit, but there aren't a lot of patrons. Deacon is behind the bar, as usual, so I knock on the window.

When he turns his head, his eyes widen ever so slightly. I'm pretty sure his heart is beating as fast as mine right now. He steps around the bar and comes outside to join me.

"I listened to it," I say, my chest heaving with every breath.

"You did?"

I nod. "It wasn't fair, using your voice and my love for audiobooks to apologize."

He swallows hard. "I know . . . But did it work?"

A smile flashes on my face. "It did, but not because audiobooks are my weakness. It's because you are. I know you're a good man, Deacon Collier. Better than you give yourself credit for."

He takes a long intake of breath, shuffling forward to close the gap between us. "Even after I said those things?"

My throat goes dry. "I'm not gonna lie. That did hurt."

"I know." He shakes his head. "I feel awful. I didn't mean any of it. You have to believe me."

Our eyes meet, and I can see he's telling the truth. "I know."

"I promise you, I'll never speak to you like that ever again. I'm still seeing Dr. S., and we added ‘thinking twice before saying stupid stuff to the girl you love' to the list of things I need to work on," he says with a lopsided grin.

I smile, cocking my head to the side. "So, you really love me, huh?"

"More than I can put into words. You're everything to me, Alice," he says, taking my hands in his, immediately making me feel better. Safe . "I never knew happiness was in the cards for me, but together, I believe we can find true happiness."

Biting my lip, I get lost in his pleading eyes. All my life, I've been dying to find a man who loves me, who's willing to become a better man for me, and who has the ultimate audiobook narrator voice—although, that last one was totally optional. And without even looking, I found him. Deacon's not perfect, and despite what he says, neither am I. But he was right in his recording. I am a nice person and a fierce defender of true love. So what if our love story had a rocky start? Maybe that's why we'll make it to our happy ending. In romance novels, they do overcome a lot of hurdles before being rewarded with that happily ever after.

I run my hand down his cheek, and he captures it. "I love you too, Deacon," I whisper .

And with that, he flashes me the brightest, most disarming smile I've ever seen and finishes me off with his signature kiss that takes my breath away.

Tugging on his hair to break our embrace, I brush my lips against his jaw, exploring every inch of him, and he lets out a low growl.

A growl.

That's when I'm absolutely certain I got the real deal. Everyone knows the best book boyfriends are the ones who growl when you kiss them.