20. Jade

CHAPTER 20

JADE

I run my fingers along the slinky maroon dress, slipping them through the slit that's supposed to climb high up my legs.

It's a beautiful dress, and it was bought with the intention of having Grayson's jaw hit the floor at the launch party.

And now, it's going to spend tomorrow night hanging over the top of my mirror, wishing that it could be worn even though I have no intention of going to the party.

Not after everything that happened.

There's a knock at my door before I can spend too much time missing what could have been.

I've already spent a week wallowing about it. We weren't together. We were never a couple. He doesn't know how much I care about him.

Everything that we have is nothing.

Thankfully, as I hurry through the apartment and pull open the front door, Paloma holds up a bottle of tequila.

"I know you said to get white wine, but this seemed like a better idea."

Laughing, I shut the door behind her and lead her over to the kitchen, where the boxes of pizza are waiting. "It might not pair well with cheese and pepperoni, but it's better than nothing."

Paloma grabs a couple of shot glasses from the cupboard, puts them on the counter and unscrews the top on the tequila. She pours two healthy shots and holds one out to me.

"Here's to a night of having fun after a week of wallowing and wishing that men weren't so stupid." She holds her glass up to mine, her smile lifting my spirits a little.

I clink my glass against hers. "Here's to the future."

We throw back our glasses and put them down on the counter. I reach for a slice of pizza, the cheese stretching long before snapping. I take a large bite, groaning at the little grease puddles on the cups of pepperoni, flavor exploding on my tongue.

Paloma leans against the counter. "You going to tell me everything that went down between the two of you?" she says, her voice gentle as she pulls herself up to sit on the counter. "I know you had a bust-up in the office, but the way you're wallowing has me thinking this was more than just sex for you."

I groan. I've been trying to avoid talking about it, but Paloma can always see through me. "I think I was starting to fall for him. Hell, I was probably past the starting-to-fall phase, and then he went off the rails."

"Why, though?"

"He's so hung up on taking over the company. It seems like he has tunnel vision about the entire thing and will say and do whatever he needs to get there. He saw me as a threat."

Paloma shakes her head. "I don't see how that's possible. I've watched the two of you together. You seemed happy. He looked at you that way someone does when they care."

"He has a funny way of showing it." I take another large bite of pizza, trying not to think too much, but it doesn't work.

All I've been able to think about for the last week is the way Grayson hurt me. I can't stop hearing those words, and when I dream of him at night, it's like the wound is opening itself all over again.

Paloma sighs and holds out her hand. "Mind passing me one of those? I have a feeling we're going to need all the carbs we can get to soak up the tequila tonight."

I pull out a slice and hand it to her. "I don't know what to do. I was supposed to go to the launch party tomorrow, but I don't think I can do it."

"That's understandable."

"I don't think I would be able to see him getting everything he wants and is willing to ruin us over, but on the other hand, I want to be there to support him."

"Has it even been confirmed that he's getting the CEO position yet?"

"Lara called me the other day and she thinks that it's likely, but she doesn't know for sure. There's still a chance that something else could happen." I finish off the first slice of pizza and reach for another. "I'm sure he's going to get it, though. This is everything he's worked for."

"This might be everything he's worked for, but this launch is everything you've worked for too."

She has a point. I spent three months of my life working on this launch. I poured my blood, sweat, and tears into it. There were sleepless nights and early mornings. A trip to the other side of the world. Calling up my contacts and seeing who would be willing to work with us on an incredibly short timeline.

Paloma pours another two shots. "For what it's worth, I think you should be there at the launch."

"I know I should be, but it's going to be hard as hell."

She hands me a shot. "Nobody says you have to be there for the entire event, but I think you should at least make an appearance. Make him see that you're doing fine without him. That you're the best thing that's ever happened in his life, and he ruined that for the sake of his daddy's approval."

I throw the shot back, savoring the burn. "You know, the worst part is that I still think I would forgive him."

"I don't see how that's the worst part," Paloma says. "You two were brought back together for a reason. Maybe the two of you were a lesson the other needed to learn, or maybe you're meant to be together, but I don't see how you're going to figure that out if you avoid him."

"Avoid is a harsh word. I like to think of it as taking the time to lick my wounds in private, and then I can figure everything else out later."

Paloma chuckles and shakes her head, picking a few pepperoni morsels off a slice of pizza before heading to the couch. "You should go. That dress will have him eating his heart out."

I snort and follow her to the couch with the bottle of tequila, sinking down into the cushions beside her. "That's if he even cares anymore. He's going to get everything he wants, and then I don't think he's going to give a damn about anything else."

"Look, what you told me sounded like he was lashing out."

"It was." I sip straight from the bottle. "I know it was. I just wish that I could go back in time and tell him about the proposal before he found out from Leo. It might have changed things."

"You can't live in the past, Jade. For what it's worth though, I really think you should go to this party. Not for him. For you. You spent three months busting your ass for this company, and you deserve recognition for it."

"Well, you might be right about that."

Paloma takes the bottle from me, grinning before she sips. She sets it on the coffee table. "If you don't agree to go to the party tomorrow, I'm going to stay here all day and then drag you there myself."

"You don't have to do that."

"I think it might be the only way you actually go."

The cushions envelop me like a warm hug as I lean deeper into the couch. "No. I think you're right. I should go. If nothing else, I'll be able to get some closure."

"Who knows, Grayson could come to his senses by then."

"I said I would forgive him." My teeth sink into the edge of my bottom lip for a moment before I sigh. "I don't know about anything beyond that, though. I mean, I know he's been hurt by all of this stuff with his father for years, but why is it on me to fix that?"

"It's not." Paloma yawns and curls into my side, bringing the television remote with her. "You have to decide what's best for you. This is your life, Jade, and you only have one chance to live it."

She scrolls through the movies as I think about that.

I only have one life to live, and I like to think that Grayson was put back into it for a reason. In the weeks that I've spent with him, he seemed to be caring less about what his father thought, but then, in one day, he went back to being that teenager who did whatever it took to get what he wanted.

I'm tired of him pushing me away. I don't want to keep doing this.

But I am going to go to the party. I'm going to celebrate the hard work that I've put in, and then the day after, I'm going to get back to my normal life.

Paloma picks a movie and sets the volume low, looking over at me. "So, what's the plan for after this?"

"Well, since the contract isn't going to get renewed, I'm going to have some time to myself. I've been thinking about taking Mom on a trip through Asia. She always said she wanted to spend some time touring through the countries there, and she's not getting any younger."

Paloma smiles and pats my thigh. "I think that's a good idea."

"I do, too."

"Take some time off for yourself. You've been working yourself to the bone for years."

She's right about that. I work as hard as I can, making sure that my employees are taken care of. I built two businesses from the ground up.

I went into a third business and pulled it from the rubble.

Now, I'm tired and want a break more than anything else in the world. Some time away when nobody wants anything from me, and I can be free to relax as I want.

As the movie plays, I pull out my phone and send a message to my travel agent.

It's time to start taking care of myself.