36. Jax

Jax

D ane and Rafe argue with me for well over an hour about going to the Shard, but I know Louis and his need for people to see, which means the body will show up tonight. But everyone will be there: Sparrow, Descario and Wayland, Titan, all the people. It's going to be a shit show, and eyes will be on me while I try to find him.

I groan as I look at myself in the mirror. Big black rings have stained the skin under my eyes. I look like I haven't slept in weeks. Even with my hair smoothed back and makeup on, I still look exhausted. I pick up my leather jacket and sling it over one shoulder.

My stomach flutters. If we pull this off, it could be over tonight. If I'm fast enough, smart enough, if I can work it out, then I might finally have him. Louis.

The temptation, the agony of having the finish line in sight makes my heart race. I imagine what my life without him would look like, and I smile because it's terrifying. Louis has been in my life for so long I'm not sure I know how to be without him, but I'm going to try to enjoy it.

There's a tentative knock at the door, and I open it to find Rafe. When he looks at me, his face lightens and softens. My heart clenches. He looks at me like I'm important, like I'm worthy. Damn it.

I reach out to him and, putting my hand on his neck, pull myself up so I can press my lips against his. His mouth moves against mine, lips teasing, caressing. Rafe is everything that is good in this world.

I pull away from him and stare. "Promise me, no matter what happens, you won't go after him alone?"

Rafe stares at me, serious. "I promise."

I shudder and nod, pulling away from him, only to see Dane beyond him, there's an almost wounded, hurt look on his face, and I remember again that I need to speak to Dane, I need to clear the air with him, but it never seems the right time. I need to tell him how I feel before anything else happens.

I open my mouth, but he beats me to it.

"We need to get going."

Disappointment crushes me. I put my hand in Rafe's, taking some comfort in the fact his warm, large fingers wrap around mine. Ever since I told them what happened, they've been good, amazing. They've been careful with me, kind, but they watch me, both of them, like they think I'm about to break.

I wonder for a moment if I am.

Foreboding fills me. For an instant, I want to pull back, demand we stay here. Cuddle up on the couch and watch movies.

That is chased by an irrational urge to rip my hand free of Rafe and run until I find a closet and hide in there until enormous arms surround me. I miss Gideon. With Rafe and Dane and this investigation taking up so much of my time, I feel like I'm losing him.

I don't pull my hand free. I follow Rafe and Dane out to the car and slide into the back seat. My eyes immediately go to the night sky. I wish I could see the stars tonight. It would make me feel better if there was some light.

The drive is short, and when I get out of the car, my eyes find the spot where Titan tried to…my mind skitters away from that memory. Poison rises inside with the memory, making me shake, but then Dane is there, giving me a side glance and nudging me out of the way.

"Stay close to us and don't draw attention. Just watch. When you see him, you'll know," Dane whispers. "He can't hide from you."

I want to agree with that, but I'm not sure it's right. Would I recognise Louis? I didn't before. I have an entire childhood's worth of memories that would argue with that statement. Louis is a chameleon. He charms, blends, and vanishes at will.

I reach out and grip Dane's arm. "Wait."

He turns to me with his eyebrow raised. "What is it?" The impatience in his tone almost stops me.

"I love you. I love that you treat me like I'm not broken. I love that you are you and how protective and caring of your family you are. Dane-"

He cuts me off with a hard kiss. "Enough. Nothing is going to happen. This is not goodbye, you save your I love you's for when this is over. You won't lose me," he growls fiercely, "and I'm…I'm not fucking losing you. Not now I've found you." Dane kisses me again, this time harder, hard enough that I taste blood.

He pulls free of me and starts marching us towards the corner of the building. As we get closer, I hear loud music pounding out of the nightclub, and again, that niggling doubt worries through me. To see it all over. To finally identify who has been tormenting me for years. That is the ultimate goal. So why am I so scared?

Astaire sees us and lets us cut the line. He looks Dane up and down and gives me a tight smile.

"Seen some interesting people visiting tonight?" he says to me.

My gaze sharpens. "Oh?"

"Harmon siblings and their stooge." I wince at Astaire's description of Mason, and then the full horror of his statement sinks in.

"All three of them?"

"Yeah. River, too. He's drinking heavier than usual tonight. Said something about growing the fuck up and one last night of freedom. Matter of fact, he's been here a lot the last few weeks. He's been Titan's special guest for a couple days. Always leaves when they dump him legless in a taxi."

My throat swells closed with fear. They drug my baby brother to get information about me? Jesus, how can I ever tell him that? I go to rush past, but Astaire grabs my wrist.

"Jax-" He closes his eyes while mine go wide as saucers. "Jax, be careful, I'm hearing talk. A lot of it, and your name in a lot of mouths where it don't belong."

I nod slowly. He knows who I am, has always known who I am. I see that truth now. Astaire knows I'm Jackie Blackwell and Louis' fiancée, and he never said a word or treated me differently. I pat the hand that holds me still. I make a move to go past and change my mind, flinging myself into his arms and hugging him hard before abruptly letting go and entering the club.

There's no need for more words than that.

My heart's racing, and adrenaline has set my senses on fire. The sounds are too loud; the scents are strong and acrid, each flash of strobing light is far too bright. I'm acutely aware of Dane and Rafe just behind me, walking so close the heat of their chests warms my back.

I should feel safe, but my stomach is writhing like I have a ball of snakes inside. This feels wrong. I've missed something. I should go back, turn back. Change our plans, but Jacob Keylore used to be my friend, and his wife will be…I squeeze my eyes closed. I can't save her, but I can be a witness. I can try to stop him. I'm the only one who can.

No one else understands Louis the way I do.

As soon as I think that thought, my body tightens. Oh, no . I exhale and am dismayed to hear a tiny keening come out. Panic locks my limbs. I look around at all the people. People I know, people I suspect.

I'm not here as a witness. This isn't about getting my attention. It's a trap. I've just walked into one of Louis' famous staged affairs. If he wanted to publicly ruin someone, he would stage a gathering of their closest family and friends and use the scraps of information he'd gathered through bribery, blackmail, or extortion, wait until the moment when he had the most to gain, and then rip your world apart. I had found it endearing once upon a time. He only did it to people who deserved it.

Who is Louis trying to punish tonight?

I hope it's someone else, but…lessons. He liked to teach me lessons. Tiny games of humiliation, putting me in my place. I think I'm the target here. I've done the wrong thing. This is a correction.

I spot River and jump in his direction, pushing through the crowd of people until I'm pressed up against his side.

"River, what are you doing here?"

"Having fun!" River shouts in my ear. "You know, that stuff I'm not allowed to have because everyone in our family keeps so many secrets we might accidentally spill the truth."

I jerk back from him, stunned. "River."

His cheeks flush. "Just give me one night, Jax."

I shake my head. "I can't. Not here. You have to get them out. You have to go."

He grunts and slams his fist on the bar, rattling several drinks. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm having fun tonight. That's what I'm doing."

People crash into me, and I fight to keep my spot beside River. I spot Mason dragging Andy and Stevie back towards the bar. They both look drunk already.

"This is going to be bad," I shout to Rafe and Dane. "It's going to be really bad."

Dane opens his mouth but freezes when Titan stands on the bar and lifts a microphone to his mouth.

"Ladies and Gents, I want to thank you for coming here tonight." He lifts a hand to his thinning hair and swipes at the sweat. His eyes look wet and full of tears. "This is, uh, well, unexpected, but I've decided it's the best we can do tonight."

I frown. His clothes look like he hasn't changed in days. He's lost weight. He looks scared. I glance around, the crowd is captivated, and all around are faces I recognise.

"Yeah, I don't suppose that makes sense. I just…tell my parents I love them."

My eyes widen, I can't look away.

He finds me, picks me out in the crowd. "The eleventh hour is upon you, Jojo."

Blood drains from my head.

"I'm a rapist and a murderer, and I'm the Black Dahlia Killer." A body that's been suspended from the ceiling drops down. Flinging towards the screaming crowd, only to be pulled up short. I only have a moment to see that it's Martha before Titan lifts a gun to his temple and pulls the trigger.

Oh, no.

The screaming is deafening, but in my head, there is only white noise. Louis has…game, set, match. Descario and Wayland are already pulling the gun away from his body. I get a quick look at the blood, so much blood, before I'm forcibly turned away.

Descario spots me, and in the next moment, two men have me with my arms pinned behind my back. It hurts, but I'm numb, so numb. I don't argue as they shove me through the crowd.

"Keep her where we can see her," Wayland roars over the screams.

I wince and try to turn my head to see Rafe and Dane, but they are being forced by the cops into the crowd away from the body. They're pushed back into the other room. The two men move and put me with a small group who were close to the bar.

I spot River, Mason, Andy, and a few others I recognise by sight if not by name. Phil grabs my upper arm and sneers at the cop.

"I've got her."

"Just don't move," the cop snaps and turns away to help his colleagues push the crowd out of the crime scene.

"Thanks, Phil," I whisper.

He gives me a cold look, and then nods. "That's what family's for, right?"

I give him what I hope is a smile and move towards River. I only take two steps before my arm is grabbed again.

"This way, River and Mason will follow with Andy," Phil says, and I don't question it.

I turn to the left, moving where he's pushing me, and spot a concealed door by the hallway that I've never seen before. The corridor is dark with thin ill-laid carpet on the floor, but the air is warm and fresh, and in a few minutes, we come out in the carpark of the building next door, the opposite side of where we'd parked in the Shard. I haven't been here before, but Phil drags me towards the building. He flicks a light on, and I follow him inside.

I frown and look behind me, waiting for Mason and River, but the door slams shut.

Phil scowls at me.

It takes me another long minute to realise what's happening.

By then, it really is far too late.