CHAPTER NINETEEN

The evening brought the arrival of the Sternwood’s grand Christmas ball.

It was more formal than the last, and many more guests were in attendance. Emilia’s mother flitted about downstairs, instructing servants and complaining to the housekeeper about supplies that had not yet reached them.

Emilia and Charlotte got ready in her room. Charlotte had a serenity about her that Emilia was finding increasingly confusing. Usually, her friend was a bundle of nerves before a ball, but tonight she seemed utterly calm.

Emilia, on the other hand, felt sick. She knew that tonight was the final opportunity she would have with Adam to present their increased affection to the world. After Christmas, Lord Bellebrook would speak to her father, and it would have to seem as though they had a genuine affection for one another.

The unpleasant truth was that, despite their arrangement of convenience, Emilia was beginning to feel more for the earl than she had realised.

His kindness and sincerity upon the lake had undone her completely. She had been unable to get his words out of her head and often found herself musing on their life together as husband and wife. The thought worried her. She did not wish to be tied to a man who had only ever seen her as a convenient arrangement. She did not wish to get her heart broken.

“What is it, Emilia?” Charlotte asked, her brows lowering in the mirror.

Emilia stared at her friend, warring with herself about the best course of action. She did not know whether telling Charlotte what they had agreed to would betray Adam’s trust, but one thing she was certain of was that Charlotte was her greatest supporter.

“Nothing,” Emilia said quickly. “I am just aware that the duke is certain to ask me for a dance this evening, and I am anticipating his daughters’ disapproval.”

Charlotte did not laugh, her expression darkening. “Try as well as you can to stay away from the duke. A dance or two is inevitable, you are right, but if your card is continually marked by Lord Bellebrook, the duke will not have the opportunity.”

Charlotte gave her a sidelong glance, and Emilia turned from her position in front of the full-length mirror to give her a warning glare.

“Do not pretend, Emilia, it does not suit you,” Charlotte said, a hint of steel in her voice. “He has barely left your side all day today. When you fell on the ice on the way back from the village, I thought the connection between you both might melt the snow away altogether!”

Emilia could not help herself; she laughed loudly at her friend’s phrasing.

Charlotte placed the final pin into her hair, pulling down a single strand to hang in front. She hoped Lord Spencer might repeat his actions at the lake and curl it behind her earagain. The sensation of it had been wickedly enjoyable, and Charlotte’s heart was singing at the thought that he might make his intentions known tonight.

“And what about you?” Emilia asked archly. “Lord Spencer skated with you all day today and has made you laugh far too many times to be polite.”

Charlotte gave her a fond smile. “He is amusing.”

“Hah!” Emilia exclaimed in a most unladylike fashion. “We know plenty of amusing men; none of them have ever made you laugh as much as he.”

The door opened abruptly, admitting her mother, who looked beautiful but harried, as she flapped her hands irritably at Emilia.

“Emilia! You are needed downstairs; will you stop dallying?”

But in the midst of her tirade, as Charlotte stood, Lady Sternwood paused, her eyes looking Emilia up and down with such approval that it rather startled her daughter.

“My dear, you look very well indeed. That gown is exquisite.”

Emilia glanced at Charlotte, her brow lowering as she frowned in confusion. “Th-thank you, Mama,” she replied.

Her mother approached her, smoothing a hand down the side of her dress and inspecting the fabric, holding it loosely between her thumb and forefinger.

“Thank you,” Lady Sternwood said gently. Her eyes were wide and affectionate suddenly. “For all your support over the last few days. I feel that I have not been fair to you these last few years, and I am reminded what a wonderful daughter you are in times like this.”

Emilia’s heart clenched at the sincerity in her mother’s gaze, for a moment it was just as it had always been between them—before the scandal had ripped them apart.

“I am looking forward to a brighter future for you with the duke,” Lady Sternwood concluded, and the shining moment of joy died an infinite death. Emilia forced a smile.

“You’re welcome, Mama.”

Her mother placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and left the room. Before she had even closed the door, Charlotte’s fingers were entangled with Emilia’s, and the two women looked at one another in despair.

“That was a nice thing for her to say,” Charlotte murmured.

“Yes. It’s a shame she had to ruin it at the end.”

“Come on. This ball will be a chance for some fun, at least. And it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow. There is much for us to be cheerful about!”

Emilia could do nothing but laugh as her friend pulled her from the room.

***

They made their way down to the ballroom. More candles had been placed around the corners of the room, and the decorations were more heavily dominated by gold colouring and fabrics.

Her mother had instructed the guests to bring the ‘season of Christmas’ with their attendance, and there was a flurry of tartan, red, green, and gold about the room.

Many women had red feathers in their hairand beautiful gowns. Emilia had already worn her deep red gown and, therefore, had chosen gold tonight but with a dark green sash. She also had holly in her hair, which was much commented upon.

She stood amidst the milling crowds, listening to the rumble of voices all around her. She was frantic with excitement suddenly, Charlotte’s reminder that Christmas Eve would be the next day had made her position all the more real.

After tomorrow, Lord Bellebrook will speak with Father, and everything will be settled. I just have to endure tonight and the next two days—then all will be well.

As if summoned by thought alone, it was at that moment that Lord Bellebrook was announced to the room.

Emilia turned, and the whole world faded away. Any illusions she had about their arrangement being only one of convenience also faded. Adam looked exquisite. Tall, stately, and every bit the earl he was, he was perfect in his strict black-and-white evening attire, and his cravat was intricate and flawless.

A tie pin at his neck sparkled in the candlelight. It was dark green, matching his waistcoat. Emilia swayed sideways as Charlotte nudged her pointedly.

“You’re staring.”

Emilia tried to drag her gaze away, but she was frozen in place by an invisible connection hanging in the air between them as Adam began scanning the crowds.

When his eyes alighted upon her, he walked immediately in her direction. Lionel walked behind him sporting a dark red waistcoat and looking very handsome indeed.

They were by far the most attractive men at the ball and walked through the crowd with many women looking their way as they did so. Having warned her friend not to stare, Charlottecould not take her eyes off Lord Spencer and was utterly speechless as he bowed, holding out his hand and leading her to the dancefloor without a word.

Emilia curtsied to Adam, who carefully ran his eyes over her figure and cleared his throat.

“You look very beautiful this evening,” he said softly, and Emilia blushed up to her hairline.

“Thank you, my Lord,” she said happily. “As do you.”

Adam offered her his hand. “Will you do me the honour of the first dance?”

Despite her nerves, Emilia took his hand, her gaze furtive and flitting about the room as butterflies swirled in her stomach.

“Everyone is staring at us,” she said with concern. Emilia had always known that they had planned and were orchestrating a deception but now the realities of it made her worry all the more.

“Try to focus on me,” he said gently. “The fact that they are noticing us is a good thing. What has you so concerned tonight?’

“I suppose I did not think of what I was doing to my parents,” she said as they took their positions on the floor. The rest of the dance floor was filled with people, the room a sea of faces, and Emilia swallowed around the lump in her throat.“I am not being honest with them.”

Adam gripped her fingers tightly, his steady gaze meeting her own.

“My Lady… Emilia,” he said hesitantly as Emilia’s heart beat loudly in her chest. “You are not being dishonest. You are choosing the direction your life will move in. There is not yet an understanding between you and the duke. I will speak with your father in two days and make my intentions known. Try to focus on that. You have done nothing wrong.”

Emilia was not certain she agreed with him, but she was grateful for his support and guidance. As the music began all around them, the band playing a lively seasonal tune that filled the room, they began the gentle pace of the dance.

Emilia sucked in a sharp breath as the dance continued. Emilia could feel Adam’s eyes on her throughout.

Although he had instructed her to focus on him, it was as though she was unable to look anywhere else at that moment.

She would never have dreamt that their connection would feel so real to her in so short a time, but now it did. The fact that he understood how she felt about the duke, understood her scandal, and still wanted to spend the rest of his life with her was a seductive reality that she could no longer deny.

He was an eligible, impossibly handsome man who had made his interest in her clear. As Emilia watched him move about the floor with grace and experience, he was no longer the stranger she had met at the winter ball; he was her betrothed , and she was alarmed at how happy she felt in his presence.

The dance continued as they circled the room together, and by and by, there seemed to be no one else around them. Emilia felt lighter on her feet, her breath coming quicker in her chest as she looked into Adam’s unwavering gaze.

Adam kept his back straight, his arms taut, trying to process all the emotions flooding through him as he held Emilia in his arms.

Even when he had courted Anastasia, he had never felt this intense need to protect and nurture someone. Just holding her against him was wonderful, a joy like nothing else flooding through him. He could feel the many eyes in the room upon them, but somehow, all he could see was her.

The hazel gaze he had grown to know so well punctured through his defences so that he felt raw and vulnerable again. Adam had promised himself long ago that he did not need another companion in his life, that he could not find someone else to love, and now all those certainties had been scattered to the winds in place of Emilia Sterling.

He stared into her eyes as they danced, the music blurring into nothing, the sounds around them fading. She felt right in his arms, and when he had called her Emilia, she had not blanched from him. The terrifying truth was that he could see a new path laid out ahead of him. Where before there had been nothing but empty, barren desert stretching as far as his eye could see, now there was a forest of colour ready for him to explore.

She has brought colour back into my world, which has been nothing but grey for years.

As the waltz ended, Adam and Emilia stood together for a fraction longer than the other couples, their gazes still locked as they slowly lowered their arms.

Adam’s hand lingered on the small of her back for seconds only, but it felt like a lifetime to them both. It seemed that the pretence they had affected to convince the world of their affections was more than that now. Out of the ashes of their pasts, something real and true had begun to burn, too bright and fierce to deny.

Lionel and Charlotte were also standing at the edge of the floor, his fingers loosely brushing hers as they watched their friends gaze into each other’s eyes.

Charlotte looked to Lord Spencer, who did not say a word, but his lips quirked as though with a secret he would not disclose. As she took his arm, the room seemed to vibrate with whispers as the couples walked back into the crowd.

***

As the ball came to an end, many guests began to gather in the drawing room. Before the carriages came to take those who had travelled to the ball home, a buzz of voices began to stir in anticipation of what was to come.

Emilia watched her mother pleadingly, but Lady Sternwood would not be dissuaded. She was insistent that her daughter would play the piano for everyone, no matter how many people were crammed into the tiny space.

It was by far the largest performance Emilia had done in several years and her shoulders were tense, her palms sweating as she took her seat at the pianoforte.

She knew Adam was in the crowd, could feel his gaze like a physical touch, and drew strength from it as best she could. Every time she sat before the piano, now, it was tinged with sadness and loss. She remembered Lord Julian’s approach, the inevitable realization that she had overstepped, and the horror in the coming days of her reputation being systematically destroyed.

She placed her fingers delicately on the keys, took a deep breath, and tried to still her aching heart. Caroline and Penelope stood at the front of the crowd, watching her with expectant looks on their faces. It was as though they were anticipating her failure, and Emilia felt a strange certainty rush through her.

They do not know my talentsand have no interest in learning them. I shall show them what talent truly is.

She began to play.

It was a pleasant Christmas tune, and she could feel the atmosphere in the room changing as she played it. Many were nodding their heads, and several of the older members of the crowd clasped their hands and smiled, as it was a well-worn tune she had heard since infancy.

With a jolt, she saw a man step forward out of the crowd. For a horrible, heart-stopping moment, she thought it was the Duke of Elderbridge coming to claim her in front of the world. But her heart leapt in her chest as she saw Adam come to stand beside her.

The room was absolutely silent around them beneath the notes of the piano, and Emilia continued to play, wondering what on earth he meant by this unusual display.

And then Lord Bellebrook began to sing the words that usually accompanied the music. Emilia was playing from memory, and he was singing from memory, too. His voice was beautiful, a melodic baritone that sailed through the room and over the heads of the crowd, exquisitely complementing the level of the music.

Emilia forced herself to remain calm, keeping her hands from shaking as best she could as his voice soared at the crescendo. In a moment of utter madness and delight, she began to sing the soprano along with him.

A single glance was all she needed. Adam looked down at her, and she looked up at him, and at that moment, all pretence fell away.

For Emilia, everything was suddenly very real, and she felt pure, undiluted happiness at the prospect of her future with this man. Not only had he come to support her while she played, but he could not have given a stronger indication of his affection for her than by doing so in front of so many people.

Emilia could have leapt into the air with the joy of it.

Adam continued to sing, the waves of the music coming back to him all at once. Lyrics he had not sung since childhood weresomehow available to him again as though they had been locked away in a secret place in his mind, and only Emilia held the key.

He had not sung like this since Anastasia was alive, and it felt right to do it now. He was going to protect Emilia from the fate her parents had laid out for her, and he took great pleasure in doing so. She had looked so petite at the piano, almost afraid, but now they sang in harmony, their voices rising and mixing in the air, perfectly entwined just as it seemed they had always been.

He did not look at Emilia again, too afraid with so many eyes on them that his feelings would be plain for all to see before he had even confessed them to her.

They were together, truly together, in that moment, and he felt a smile spread across his face as he continued to sing. Someone in the crowd began to sing, too, and soon, the whole room was alive with voices, brought together by a union he had never expected from a woman he had come to care for in every possible way.

The song soared and wavered and lingered in the air and Adam knew that he would never forget that moment or this day for the rest of his life.