CHAPTER FIFTEEN

As the group went back inside, rosy-cheeked and in high spirits, they joined the other guests for hot chocolate and biscuits.

As Emilia stepped back into the drawing room beside Adam her heart raced, a flutter of unease tightening her chest. It felt surreal to be standing beside him, to be engaged to him when no one around them knew the truth.

She glanced at him as he surveyed the room, his eyes reminding her of the shallow shores at the beach when she was a child, the clear blue water calling to her against the white sands of the Cornish coast.

In the gardens, she had begun to see the playful side of the earl, and it warmed her heart. When they had first met, he had been reserved and quiet, unhappy even. She had not been certain he had wished to be a member of their company or to be part of the house party at all. Yet now, he seemed to be lighter in himself and some of the tension had left his face.

As though sensing her look, Adam turned, and Emilia’s heart thudded wildly in her chest as his eyes softened offering her a shallow bow before walking across the room to speak with his aunt.

He was so handsome that was what she could not understand. Why would someone such as he look at me, a woman who society has shunned for years?

“You are looking melancholy, and I cannot fathom why. You have every reason to be cheerful,” Charlotte said, coming up behind her.

Emilia was about to reply with a denial when she was jolted to the side by someone walking swiftly through the room. Righting herself, she turned back to see Frederick Bentley. He had stopped, his jaw working as he bowed to her, his hand on his chest in apology. Emilia held back a gasp at the look of quiet fury on his face, but it was wiped clean as soon as their eyes met.

“My apologies, my Lady, I was not looking where I was walking.”

“No matter, Mr Bentley,” Emilia replied, attempting a smile, “No harm has been done.”

Frederick gave her a tight nod and continued on his way towards Adam and Augusta.

Emilia felt a shiver run through her that she could not name and glanced at Charlotte.

“I wondered if my aversion to that man was simply my own,” Charlotte said darkly. “There is something very odd about him. Do you know, during the ball, he stood by the wall and simply stared at you for several minutes together? I thought it might simply be that I’d misinterpreted the direction in which he was looking, but he has done it several times since. I considered whether he might be thinking of making an advance.”

Emilia shook her head. “How strange. That is the first time we have spoken; he has certainly not sought me out at any point.”

“Perhaps he is shy,” Charlotte mused. The two women exchanged a glance, and Charlotte’s lips pursed together. “No, you are right. I do not believe that either.”

“He looked at me like he hated me. Perhaps he has heard of the scandal and does not approve of—” She stopped abruptly, realising she had been about to reveal Adam’s attachment to her.

“Approve of what?” Charlotte asked indignantly, always quick to come to her defence. “You have done nothing, broken no laws and slighted nobody. Anyone who is still harping on about such things is not welcome in my company I can promise you that.”

Emilia leaned into her friend gratefully. “You are too good to me.”

“I know,” Charlotte said with a put-upon sigh, making Emilia laugh, “I do not know why I put up with you at all. You are so tiresome.”

Emilia chuckled, and Charlotte grinned at her mischievously.

“Speaking of attachments,” Emilia said carefully. “You and Lord Spencer do seem to be getting along well together. I rather thought you believed him to be very stupid.”

Charlotte eyed her friend, unsure whether to express the depths of her feelings for Lord Spencer. She had never met anyone she liked so much, who was so well connected and so generous with his spirit and feeling.

Charlotte was not a romantic. She knew full well that connections in society, particularly at this time of year, could easily be misinterpreted. Lord Spencer had shown her much attention over the last few days, but it was only that—attention. She had never been someone who fell all over herself for the sake of a handsome man, but there was a part of her that wanted to grasp her friend’s hand and tell her she was enraptured.

He was so genial and polite, never overstepping his bounds. Charlotte was aware that Emilia and Lord Bellebrook had grown close, but Adam was rather too serious for Charlotte’s tastes. Lord Spencer was all levity, smiles, and excitement. Charlotte had been startled by how much she liked him and their time in the gardens had been the happiest she had ever spent with anyone.

“I am not certain,” she said cautiously, “to what you are referring.”

Emilia, with that intuitive manner she sometimes possessed, seemed to read her perfectly, however, and Charlotte’s anxiety was quelled as her friend took her hand.

“You and I have spoken at length of the connections we can expect in life. I would never presume to make one for you.”

“I know,” Charlotte said, watching Lord Spencer across the room speaking with Emilia’s father. “I had no significant interest for the whole of last season. I was beginning to believe it was hopeless. I am still bemused as to how a man such as he can be unattached. I cannot fathom it.”

“Perhaps he was waiting for you,” Emilia said wistfully. “Stranger things have happened, and you are the loveliest creature imaginable.”

“Do be quiet, you will make me blush,” Charlotte protested, but her friend’s words had given her comfort. She knew her parents were desperate for her to make a good match, and she was determined not to allow their worries to affect her.

Lady Sternwood clapped her hands for attention at the head of the room and smiled about at the group.

“We will be decorating the Christmas tree in the entrance hall and dressing the corridors this morning. When you have all finished your drinks, please make your way through, and I will show you the beautiful creations that are waiting to be hung.”

“Do you think we will be hanging them terribly high?” Lady Seraphina said as she passed Adam and his aunt. “I simply cannot abide heights; I am so frightfully afraid of heights.”

“Not to worry, my dear,” said his aunt as she bustled forward. “There will be plenty of strapping young men to help us,” she exclaimed, taking Seraphina’s arm and giving Adam a long stare before leaving the room.

“I love my mother,” Lionel said softly, “but she is trying even my patience with this. Does she not see you have other things on your mind?”

Adam’s head snapped around to look at his cousin, but Lionel just gave him a playful wink and followed his mother out of the room. As he did so, Adam’s eye was drawn to Emilia, who was standing with Miss Fairfax on the other side of the carpeted entryway before him.

She still looked flushed from their impromptu snowball fight, and her eyes were sparkling as she looked about the room.

A feeling of unease crept over him as he considered the offer he had made the night before. He did not regret it—far from it—but it was still an adjustment to realise that this woman was his betrothed. He rubbed his hands together, fiddling with his shirt sleeves, trying to pull himself back to the present. He could hear the lively chatter of those who had already moved into the hallway and the clink of decorations as they were removed from their boxes. Adam nabbed another biscuit to calm his nerves and attempted to revel in the unexpected joys of the season.

I have never appreciated Christmas so much as I have in Lady Emilia’s company.

***

As they made their way into the entrance hall, Emilia looked up at the beautiful garlands hanging from the doorway and the leafless tree branches her mother had brought in from outside to be adorned with decorations.

Everything looked glorious—the large Christmas tree at the base of the stairs was truly magnificent and sent a surge of excitement through her. With the snow on the ground outside and the snowball fight, not to mention her blossoming friendship with Lord Bellebrook, she felt happy and excited for the holidays.

Her mother handed her a box of crystal-cut ornaments that sparkled in the light,and Emilia placed the box on a chair as Lady Pinkerton and her husband approached and collected some of them.

“These are quite exquisite!” Lady Pinkerton exclaimed, holding one of them up to the light as rainbows danced across the floor in its wake. “I am so overwhelmed by all your mother has done. Does it not look beautiful in the house?”

“It truly does,” her husband agreed, looking down at his wife adoringly. Emilia watched the gentle exchange between the two of them and felt a pang of loss that the love between them might never be her fate.

“Lady Emilia, allow me to help you.”

Emilia turned to look up at the duke who towered above her, smirking down at her in that infuriating way of his.

On second thoughts, I do not need love. She thought desperately. I just need to be away from this man for the rest of my life.

She nodded to the duke, holding out the box to him. Behind him she noticed Adam entering the entrance hall, his eyes on them, his jaw tightening with obvious displeasure. Emilia wondered if he might come over to save her, but he was pulled aside by his cousin Frederick. She was thus left to endure the duke’s simpering conversation and idle prattle.

“I was most surprised by your behaviour in the gardens, Lady Emilia,” the duke said. Emilia glanced up at him in alarm. His expression was reserved and carefully polite, but his eyes were hard. “I had not seen that side of you. I must say I was shocked that you would behave in such an unladylike manner.”

Emilia’s hands shook as she took another ornament from the box, but this time, it was not with nerves but rage. Apparently, the duke did not want his future wife to display any kind of excitement, happiness, or joy, even at Christmas. It was a damning testimony to any type of life she might have had in his company, and she was even more grateful to the Earl of Bellebrook for saving her from it.

As Adam’s eyes lingered on Emilia’s back, a fresh wave of jealousy surged through him, but this time, it was far more violent in its intensity. He frowned at Frederick who placed an impertinent hand on his sleeve. The man seemed agitated and there was sweat adhering to his brow despite the high ceilings of the entrance hall and a rather chill breeze through the front door.

“Is all well?” Adam asked, feigning ignorance, but he knew exactly what Frederick would ask of him.

“Of course, of course,” his cousin said meekly. “I merely wished to ensure you were well.”

Adam was not too proud to admit that he was surprised the man even noticed other people, but he nodded all the same. His eyes flicked to Emilia and the duke, fingers flexing to prevent him from striding across to them and shoving the man to the floor.

“Yes, I am quite well. Why would I not be?”

“Simply that I know how much you loved spending Christmas with Anastasia.”

Adam froze, guilt slicing through him. He knew he should ignore his cousin’s words, but his conscience weighed heavily upon him. He felt an undeniable sense of remorse that he could neither escape nor suppress.

Adam’s heart clenched at the thought of Anastasia and how much she would have loved this house party.

What would she think of me? He thought sadly. Running about in the gardens with another woman playing with snowballs when she is gone forever and can never enjoy such things again.

Adam’s mood darkened considerably, and he glanced at his cousin, who had his eyebrows raised in query.

“I am sorry, I did not mean to—”

“No matter,” Adam replied curtly. “I must help my aunt.”

He walked across the room, his head held high, as he reached Augusta. With the large Christmas tree obscuring her, Adam had not realised his aunt stood beside Lady Seraphina. To his dismay, Augusta departed almost instantly, and Adam was left awkwardly standing beside her as she gave him a shy smile.

Adam glanced to his right, noting that the duke was still very close to Emilia, who was pale and taut beside him. Frederick’s words were still ringing in his ears, but there was no denyinghe hated seeing Emilia with another man.

He knew all too well that their arrangement was a convenience, but Adam felt a pulse of anger that dimmed his guilt.

The duke does not have a claim to her. I do. And I cannot even warn him off because nobody knows the truth.