Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

A nna Millington, the Dowager Duchess of Harbeck, was a formidable lady. She frowned at Allan as he sat at the breakfast table the morning after the Pinery Ball. “So,” she said, “I trust you had a pleasant evening.”

“Well, you don’t sound as if you want the answer to that question to be yes, Grandmother,” Allan replied.

Lately, this was the way things had gone between the two of them at every meal. It always felt like they were sparring. Allan was tired of his grandmother’s constant comments on the state of his romantic life and took every opportunity to remind her that she had no business speaking to him on the subject, but it was a fact she didn’t seem able to remember.

Well, either that or she didn’t care very much.

Whatever the reason, the subject had come up yet again tonight. Allan suspected it had something to do with Lady Edwina. Even before the auction, his grandmother had never made any secret of her disdain for the unattainable spinster.

“The truth is, I had a lovely time,” Allan told his grandmother. “I’m very glad I went. And,” he added pointedly, “I’m very glad about who I went with.”

“Oh, Allan.”

“I don’t need to hear your negative feelings on this subject, Grandmother, truly. It should be enough for you to know that I enjoyed myself.”

“I know you don’t need to hear my feelings,” she said.

“Good. I’m glad you’re aware of that fact.”

“Because you should know my feelings on the matter. You spending time with that lady…it’s a disgrace to the dukedom. I can only imagine what your father would say if he knew what you were doing.”

Bringing his father into it like that was a low blow. Allan’s grandmother knew that fulfilling his duty to the dukedom, carrying on his late father’s legacy, and living a life that he would be proud of were important things to him. To suggest that his father would be disappointed in Allan’s choices was downright cruel and hurtful, and she had known that it would be.

He needed to dismiss her, to let her know that her pointed remarks wouldn’t have the desired effect.

“Grandmother, that’s ridiculous,” he said. “You make it sound as if we were doing something scandalous. As if we had something to be ashamed of. There was nothing scandalous in what we were doing, and Father would take no issue with any of it. We were dancing and walking in the garden together. We had a pleasant time. There’s no need for these dramatics.”

“You truly don’t believe your father would disagree with what you’ve been doing?”

“I think that I’m the Duke now, Grandmother.”

“Does that mean you don’t care about your father’s approval anymore?”

“Of course, it doesn’t mean that. You know how much I care what Father would have thought. But I also think I knew him very well, and he did a good job preparing me for my responsibilities.”

“You didn’t know him well,” his grandmother countered. “You were a child when he died, Allan. I am the one who knew him well. He was my son, and I knew him all his life.”

“I have clear memories of him,” Allan said. “I know the kind of man he was, and the kind of man he would want me to be.”

“He took nothing more seriously than his duty.”

“And nor do I.”

“Because I’ve raised you to be like him,” his grandmother said. “Everything of your father that you have in you has come from me. You should be grateful to me for helping to keep him alive within you.”

“I am grateful for everything you did for me when I was growing up. Surely you know that, Grandmother,” Allan replied. “But that doesn’t mean that I am beholden to you for the rest of my life.”

“Allan, when you inherited your father’s land and title as a boy, I vowed that I would make it my mission in life to help you become a duke your father would be proud of.”

“And you did. You raised me and taught me well. I no longer have need of your guidance. That time is over, Grandmother, no matter what you may think of my choices regarding Lady Edwina.”

“That lady has a terrible reputation, Allan.”

“She also has a name. Call her by it, please. It’s very disrespectful to keep saying that lady the way you are.”

“I don’t feel she’s earned my respect.”

“Well, you are sitting at my table, and while you’re here, I won’t have her spoken of that way. Lady Edwina, please.”

“Very well,” his grandmother said. “Only because you insist—Lady Edwina.”

“Thank you.” He wanted to remark on the fact that surely that basic courtesy hadn’t been so difficult to give, but he decided against it. He could quit while he was ahead.

But his grandmother seemed not to be of the same mind—it was clear that she wanted to continue the conversation. “I’m sure you know the kind of things people say about her, Allan.”

“I’ve heard what people say.”

“The nickname they gave her?”

“Grandmother, everyone has heard that nickname.” Allan sighed. “It’s spoken so widely that I begin to wonder whether other people know her true name at all.” Of course, he said it himself as much as anyone else did. But now, hearing his grandmother allude to the nickname, he felt a little bad about it. Could Lady Edwina really enjoy hearing herself called such a thing? Surely not.

“The unattainable spinster.” His grandmother gave him a knowing look.

“And? Why should that trouble me?”

“They speak of her as one who will never marry,” his grandmother said. “She lives to push gentlemen away from her. All she cares about is keeping them away.”

“I doubt very much that that’s the only thing she cares about. And if she doesn’t want to marry, what of it? Do you truly believe there’s a lady anywhere who can resist me?”

“If there is, she would be the one,” his grandmother observed. “I wouldn’t be surprised to see her make a mockery of you, Allan. Turn you away just as she has every other gentleman who has ever taken an interest in her. Your time is much better spent on ladies who actually wish to marry. You know there are many who would have you. If you would stop being so particular, you could be married in a matter of weeks and see your duty filled.”

“Don’t speak to me of duty,” Allan said. “Don’t suggest that I’m not taking my duty seriously. You know it’s the most important thing to me.”

“If that were true you would be married already. As it is, I despair of seeing your heir before I die!”

“Now you really are being dramatic,” Allan huffed. “You’re in fine health, Grandmother. And I’m not going to marry until I find the ideal lady—the perfect duchess. Would you have me rush that?”

“I would have you continue to search for it instead of wasting your time with a lady you know will never be your duchess,” his grandmother argued. “Five dates with the unattainable spinster?—”

“Four dates, now. I’ve had one of them. And I was never going to marry someone in the time it will take to complete those dates, grandmother. I’m sure you know that. I haven’t even met someone who interests me.”

“And you won’t be seeing anyone else until those dates are complete?”

“I think I can stand to give her my full attention for the time it will take to complete five dates, yes.”

“Truly, Allan, don’t you see what a monumental waste of your time this is? Don’t you understand that you’re not bringing yourself any nearer to the fulfillment of your duty to the dukedom—and in the meantime, you’re making a spectacle by running around with that lady.”

“ Lady Edwina .” Allan was beginning to feel angry with his grandmother. “I’m not going to have this conversation with you if you can’t bring yourself to show some respect.”

“You know who I meant. You know, you’re going to drive potential matches away from you. Ladies who may have had an interest will give up and decide they should seek matches elsewhere because spending time with Lady Edwina makes it clear to them that you are not seeking a marriage anytime soon. Fathers will decide you are no longer worth pursuing as a match for their daughters. With every day you waste on this, you are losing opportunities.”

“If they would give up so easily, they’re not the right matches for me anyway,” Allan observed. “The lady I’m looking for to be my duchess will have to understand how important it is to try hard in pursuit of her goals. I don’t want someone who would be discouraged by a setback.”

“You’re far too particular. There are plenty of young ladies who would make perfectly acceptable matches for you. You should settle for one of them.”

“I don’t see that I should settle at all. And frankly, I don’t believe that Father would think so either if he were here. He would agree that I should wait for an ideal duchess, someone who can live up to the responsibility of our title. He wouldn’t have me settle for anything less.”

“And I say you’re holding out for far too much. I knew your father better than you did.”

“Think whatever you like, Grandmother, but this is my business. Don’t try to insert yourself into my private affairs,” Allan said. “I will handle the question of marriage myself and in my own time.”

“I don’t know whether I can truly believe that you will, Allan.”

“What you believe is certainly up to you, but this isn’t a conversation I’m willing to entertain any longer, Grandmother.”

“And you mean to go on seeing that young lady?”

Allan gave her a pointed look and waited.

She sighed. “Lady Edwina.”

“Yes, I mean to go on seeing her. I paid richly for the privilege of these five dates, you know.”

“And how do you think that makes you look? Purchasing time in a young lady’s company? It looks as if you’re so desperate that you were forced to pay for it.”

“Nobody thinks that,” Allan laughed. “Nobody thinks I have any trouble getting dates, Grandmother. You know that. Besides, this is for a good cause. Everyone knows the reason I spent the money was to support the charity. The dates are only an added benefit.”

“If they’re only an added benefit, then set them aside.”

“No. I want the benefit.” Allan grinned. “I’m sorry, Grandmother, but my mind is set on this. Besides, I find her an enjoyable person to be around. The fact that we’re not going to marry doesn’t take away from that in the least.”

He rose from his seat and left the table, no longer willing to participate in this conversation. He knew what he wanted, and his grandmother wouldn’t sway him from that. And the fact that she continued to try to sway him made him feel frustrated with her to the extreme. He didn’t want to talk to her anymore. Not when it came to his romantic affairs. She couldn’t be a part of that aspect of his life, and she was going to have to accept that.