Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

“ W ill you step out into the garden with me?” the Duke asked.

Edwina’s first instinct was to deny him, of course. She was forcibly reminded of her first season and the incident with Lord Essington when he had taken her out into the garden.

But of course, this couldn’t have been more different. She neither admired nor trusted the Duke, but it was important that he wasn’t dragging her anywhere against her will. For all the unpleasant things she had said to him about feeling as though she had no choice in the matter of being with him, the truth was that she knew he was showing her a lot more respect than she had been shown on that occasion. If she told him she wasn’t willing to go out into the garden, Edwina didn’t doubt that he wouldn’t force her.

“All right,” she said hesitantly. “But we should stay on the main path to make sure there are plenty of people around us.”

“Oh, naturally,” the Duke agreed. “I wouldn’t want to cause a scandal.”

“Have you ever hesitated in the past to cause a scandal?”

“You do me wrong, My Lady. I know you think of me as a rake?—”

“You are a rake.”

“But I would never do anything to ruin a lady’s reputation against her will. I’m not a monster.”

The fact that he could tell the difference rather surprised Edwina, and she found herself believing him. Perhaps he could be trusted, at least a little bit.

And it couldn’t be denied that she had begun to trust him a little bit already. Talking to him about her views on marriage—where had that come from? That wasn’t something she usually did. She didn’t like opening up to gentlemen in that way. When a gentleman came calling, her usual practice was to rebuff him but not to explain why she was doing so.

It was odd, finding herself more willing to speak candidly with someone.

Perhaps it was because she knew she was going to be stuck with the Duke of Harbeck for a long time, she reflected as they stepped out onto the garden path. Maybe that had made her realize that there was no point in trying to keep everything to herself and that she might as well speak openly.

They made their way along the path. Edwina found that she did feel safe out here. It was full of groups of people—other couples, pairs of gentlemen, clusters of ladies—and though she knew they were watching her with a keen interest, wondering about her talked-about date with the Duke, at least that was better than no one watching her or even knowing where she was at all.

“It’s a lovely night,” the Duke commented.

“It is,” Edwina conceded.

“We’re lucky. Do you recall the Pinery Ball last year?”

Edwina thought back. “It rained, didn’t it?”

“All night long. No one could go outside, and we could hardly hear the musicians at times for the thunder.”

“That’s right,” Edwina remembered. “I thought it was rather nice, though.”

“Did you?”

“Well, yes. At least it was something different. All these balls tend to feel the same to me, you see, and it was nice to have one that didn’t blend in with the rest.”

“And I suppose it didn’t bother you that people stopped dancing after a while. You don’t like to dance.”

“No, you’re wrong there,” she objected. “I love to dance.”

“You do? But you reject gentlemen when they ask you.”

“That’s because I don’t like the gentlemen.”

“Wouldn’t it be more convenient, though, if you could allow yourself to dance with them and simply enjoy it?”

“In a perfect world, of course, it would. But I know what happens when you dance with a gentleman.”

“What happens?”

“He begins to think of courtship and marriage. And if your family is watching—believe me, my brother is always watching—they also think about those things and wonder whether the gentleman you’re with is the one they might eventually marry you to. It’s impossible to simply enjoy myself with a gentleman without thought of marriage.”

“Do you think you would enjoy spending time with a gentleman if you didn’t have to worry about marriage?”

“That situation has never presented itself.”

“But the reason I ask is that it’s the situation we find ourselves in right now,” he observed. “You and I are spending time together and will continue to do so for a while now—but we’re not going to get married. Unless you’re worried that you will wish to marry me?”

“You know perfectly well that I’m not worried about that in the least,” Edwina snapped. “There is no chance of that happening.”

“Then why can’t we enjoy each other’s company?” he asked her. “Why can’t we have a good time together? I know that other people are speculating about what our presence here as a pair might mean, but you and I know what it means, so never mind what they think. That’s what I say. What do you think?”

“You have a point,” Edwina admitted. “As long as you know I’m not going to want to marry you. You’ve said a lot of things about charming me. Winning me over.”

“Not to marriage. I don’t want to marry you either.”

“Well, that’s blunt.”

“I see no reason to be anything other than honest about it. We can both be honest with one another, surely?”

“I suppose we can.”

“I want to charm the unattainable spinster as I’ve told you.”

“And I’ve told you, you can’t.”

“Perhaps. But I don’t wish to marry you. I need to find a perfect duchess, and I don’t believe you are that.”

“You’re right. I’m not.”

“This is all in good fun. Nothing more.”

“A game.”

“If you’d like. A game for me to see if I can charm you. A game for you to see if you can resist.”

“You won’t win this game.”

“But it will be so much fun to play.”

Edwina looked at him for a moment.

He had a sparkle in his eye, and she had to admit it intrigued her. Perhaps he was right. Perhaps there would be something enjoyable in this little jousting match. And when she won, everyone would finally have to acknowledge the truth she had always known—that she was truly unattainable.

“Very well,” she agreed. “I’ll play your game. We’ll enjoy ourselves, just as you say.”

“I don’t think you’ll regret it. And I’ll show you a good time along the way,” he promised. “Aren’t you having fun tonight?”

“More than I expected I would,” Edwina admitted. “You are good to talk to. I’ll say that for you.”

“Of course, I am.”

“You’re still very arrogant.”

He laughed. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Perhaps you’re right about that. My friends tell me the same thing. Your sister’s husband is forever telling me all about how arrogant I am.”

“Well, Seth is a very wise man,” Edwina observed. “I would tend to trust his advice.”

“I don’t mean to be. I suppose I’m just confident. But you’re the same,” he pointed out. “You’re one of the most confident ladies I’ve ever known.”

“I don’t talk about how wonderful I am all the time, though.”

“Oh, come on. I don’t do that.”

“Say something you’re not proud of about yourself.”

“What?”

“I want to see if you can do it,” she said. “If you really want to charm me, if you want to win me over, that’s a good way to begin. Show me that you have the ability to be humble—if you do. What could you improve about yourself?”

“I’m not a great dancer,” the Duke confessed.

Edwina frowned. “You’re not a bad dancer. I just danced with you.”

“I’m not terrible, but I’m not the best around.”

“Do you need to be the best at everything you try?”

“I like to be.”

She laughed. “Perhaps that’s the thing you shouldn’t be proud of,” she said. “It’s all right to be less than perfect sometimes.”

“Is it? What about you?” he asked. “You won’t settle for less than perfection in your choice of a husband.”

“You won’t settle for less than perfection either,” she pointed out. “The perfect duchess, that’s what you’re looking for. That’s why you haven’t married. You said so yourself.”

“All right, then we have this in common,” he said. “Both of us are chasing perfection.”

“I suppose we are.”

“Do you feel as if we should both learn to settle for less?”

Edwina paused, confused. If he had asked her whether she thought he ought to settle for less than perfection, she would have answered yes without missing a beat. But was she willing to settle?

That was harder to say yes to.

She was the unattainable spinster. She wasn’t going to accept marriage to anyone who didn’t meet her standards. That was what she had built her reputation on. It was better to remain unmarried than to marry someone who didn’t measure up.

“No,” she said at last. “I suppose I don’t think we ought to settle for less.”

“I didn’t think you would,” he agreed. “So you see, the pursuit of perfection isn’t such a flaw after all.”

“Perhaps not,” she was forced to concede.

“But you know…I wonder something about you, Lady Edwina.”

“And what’s that?”

“You’re so adamant about the fact that you don’t want to marry. But what I wonder, looking at you, is this—is there any possibility that secretly, deep down, you do want to be married? That you long for it?”

“Of course, I don’t,” Edwina snapped. “You know I’ve had no end of suitors. If I really wanted to marry, don’t you think I would do so?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “Maybe you wouldn’t if you thought it would mean giving in to the pressures your family has placed upon you. Maybe that’s why you choose not to marry. Maybe it has nothing to do with a desire to remain a spinster—you just don’t want to give your father and your brother the satisfaction of making decisions about your life for you.”

“Do you really believe I’m so petulant?” Edwina demanded. The suggestion offended her. “Do you honestly think that if I wanted a marriage, I would deny myself that happiness just to spite my family? That’s the kind of lady you think I am?”

“I think you’re very willful,” the Duke said. “I think you would rather do almost anything than permit someone else to make your choices for you. To be honest, it’s a trait I admire, Lady Edwina. It’s one I don’t see in very many ladies—the ability to stand up for what you want. I wouldn’t think less of you if it was the truth.”

“But it isn’t true,” Edwina insisted. “And how could you not think less of me if I was the sort of person to do what you’re suggesting? If I made the decision not to marry just because my family wants me to do so, that’s still allowing their desires to dictate my choices. It’s just doing what they don’t want me to do instead of what they do want me to do. That isn’t who I am. I’m not a spinster because of what anyone else wants. It’s because of my own preferences.”

“All right,” the Duke agreed. “If you say so.”

Edwina fumed, but she wasn’t sure why she felt so angry. If he had simply suggested something untrue, what difference did it make?

Was it possible there was a grain of truth in what he had said?

Distantly, they heard the music change, and Edwina found herself wondering how long they had been out in the garden. “We should go back in,” she said. “People may be looking for us.”

“As you wish, My Lady,” the Duke agreed.

And before she could stop him, he took her hand, bent, and kissed it.

He lingered ever so slightly, his lips pressed to her skin, and Edwina felt her whole body flush. It must have been anger that was fueling that heat. No gentleman had ever had such an effect on her before, and she didn’t know what to make of it—but she found herself slightly disappointed when he pulled away.

He smiled at her. “Thank you for walking with me,” he said. “This was a wonderful talk.”

And in spite of her confused emotions, Edwina couldn’t help but agree with that.