Epilogue

EPILOGUE

“ F ather wishes to see you before the wedding,” Matthew said.

Edwina turned away from the looking glass. She had been admiring her gown, marveling at the fact that she was actually standing here wearing it—that she was about to be married. She had never expected to find herself in this situation. She had never believed this day would come for her.

Her father would not be able to make the journey to the church to see the wedding take place. His illness was now too advanced. It was no great surprise, therefore, that he wished to speak to Edwina before she left the house. But Edwina did wonder what he would say to her—what last words he might have before she became someone’s wife instead of just his daughter.

She followed Matthew from the room wordlessly. She had been quiet all day, and she knew it—she was overcome by the intensity of everything that was happening, and it was easier to remain quiet than to try to find the correct words to deal with the situation at hand. It was easier to listen than to speak.

She smiled at the thought of what Allan would say to her when she told him she had felt this way. He would tease her, as he always did, telling her that she had never in her life been at a loss for what to say and that he didn’t believe she truly felt that way now. But the truth was that she really did. Perhaps it was just that she had never been in love before. She didn’t know how to process all the things she was feeling.

Her father lay in a dim room, unable to sit up without being supported by pillows, but he smiled and held out his hand when he saw her. Edwina went to him, noticing that Lavinia was there too, holding her father’s hand. She took his other hand and waited to hear what he would say.

“Edwina,” he murmured, “you look positively lovely, darling. I do hope that Duke understands what a lucky man he is.”

“He does, Father,” Matthew spoke up, and Edwina was grateful. She hadn’t been able to think what to say. “I’ve spoken to him, and I know how much he values Edwina. He will treat her well.”

“I know that you didn’t want them to marry, Matthew,” her father said. “You’ve changed your mind about him, then?”

“I have. He will be a good husband to her. I’m satisfied with the match. And after all, as long as Edwina is happy, that is what matters.”

“I’m just so glad all this has turned out the way it has,” her father murmured, closing his eyes briefly. “I know that I was hard on you girls. Both of you. I never hesitated to let you know how important it was that you should marry.”

“I think Lavinia felt that more than I did,” Edwina said. “You were patient with me.” She didn’t know if patient was truly the word—half the time, she’d felt that her father had simply given up on her, but she understood what he was saying. She had always known that he would have liked to see her married if he’d had his way.

Now, it was happening, and she was sure he was happier with her than he had ever expected to be.

She smiled at him because it cost her nothing to do it. “I’m happy about the way things have turned out too, Father,” she said. “I’m glad to be marrying the Duke today.”

“Both my daughters, married to dukes,” her father murmured. “And soon you will have families of your own, and our line will continue—although,” he added, somewhat sternly, opening his eyes again, “I would like Matthew to have an heir. I would like to see that take place before I die.” He fixed his gaze on Matthew. “I notice that you haven’t yet married.”

“I haven’t found the right lady, Father.”

“A gentleman may take a little longer but not too much,” their father observed. “And you know as well as I that time is fleeting, Matthew. I would like to think that you intend to marry soon. I would like it if you could tell me that I can expect that to happen.”

Matthew averted his gaze. “Today is about Edwina,” he said firmly. “We ought to focus our attention on her. Perhaps you and I can discuss my future later, Father—but for now, let it be enough that Edwina is going to marry. No one ever thought that she would, after all.” And he wrapped an arm around Edwina’s shoulders.

“You had better get to the church,” their father said. “I wouldn’t want to make you late and give the Duke cause to change his mind.”

“He will never change his mind,” Lavinia said reassuringly. “He adores Edwina, Father. He’s perfect for her.”

“Just the match she needs, I suppose?” Their father smiled lightly. “All right, then. Happy wedding day to you, Edwina. You look beautiful. I’m only sorry that I can’t be there beside you today.”

Edwina gave her father’s hand one final squeeze. In the end, she found, she was glad of the fact that she would be making him proud. She was glad to know that he would be pleased with her, and that he would spend the remainder of his life happy with the way hers was turning out. She hadn’t wished to marry for his sake, but their desires had aligned at last. Now, she was marrying for her own reasons, and she had the pleasure of knowing that she had made her father happy as well.

“Well, Your Grace, what did you think of that?”

The ceremony was at an end. Edwina and Allan had left the church and had made their way back out to the carriage that would take them to the ball that was to be held at Edwina’s family’s home before they both left for Allan’s home and their new life together.

Edwina felt giddy. The whole ceremony had seemed to pass in a blur, and now, she remembered snatches of it very clearly—but only individual moments. “I can’t believe we did it,” she said, unable to stifle a giggle. It was as if all the nerves in her body were relaxing at once now that the ceremony was behind them. “We actually did it.”

“We did it,” Allan repeated, beaming at her. She had never seen him look so fully, openly happy. There was not a trace of a smirk on his face, and his eyes shone with obvious joy. “You are my duchess now…Your Grace.”

“That’s the second time you’ve called me that,” she realized.

“I’ve been dreaming of the moment I would be able to for quite a while.” He took her hand. “You can’t imagine how long I’ve waited. It feels like forever.”

“Our engagement wasn’t that long.”

“No. But I’ve longed to have my perfect duchess by my side.”

“Fortunately, you gave up on that ambition in order to marry me,” she said with a smile.

Allan laughed. “Surely you don’t really believe that?”

“What do you mean?”

“I never gave up anything,” he said. “I simply came to understand more fully what I should have known all along. When I was looking for perfection, Edwina, I was always looking for you. You were always the Duchess I dreamed of. It took meeting you—it took nearly losing you—for me to realize that. I’ll always regret that I was so foolhardy. We could have been here that much sooner.”

Edwina’s heart warmed at his words of love.

“We’re here now,” she told him. “That’s what matters most of all. We’re here, and we’re together, and no one can ever come between us.”

“I think it took a great deal of good fortune to get us to this moment, though,” Allan said with a rueful smile. “I wish I could say we had earned it, but we haven’t.”

“I don’t know that I agree with that,” Edwina objected. “Each of us had a long way to go in order to be the people sitting here right now. None of this was easy—not for you, and not for me.”

“That’s true.”

“And all the while, we fought for each other,” she said. “Even when my feelings for you were driving me mad, I never allowed myself to shut them down completely. And even when I ordered you away from me and tried to flee London, you never let me go. It would have been easier for you to let me go, but you didn’t. You came after me, even knowing the risk you were taking. The risk that I might turn you away yet again.”

“That wasn’t the risk,” Allan argued. “The risk was that you might get away from me and that I might never have the chance to confess my true feelings. It would have pained me if you had rejected me, but it would have been so much worse never to tell you how I felt at all—to let you go believing that I simply didn’t care. I knew that was what you thought. I hated it. It killed me to think of you believing something so false. But I was almost too cowardly to face up to it myself.”

“You see what I mean,” Edwina said. “We both had to be brave. We both had to face difficult obstacles in order to get ourselves here. So, I will not allow you to say that we were merely lucky, that we did nothing to earn and deserve our happiness. I believe we did.”

Allan smiled at her. “I truly don’t know what I would do without you,” he told her. “You’re a marvel to me, Edwina. You make me happier than I ever would have believed I could be.”

“You do the same for me,” she said softly.

“Perhaps we ought to drive on,” he suggested as the carriage began to slow down, signaling that they had arrived at the ball. “I know this party is meant to celebrate us, but maybe we should allow the festivities to go on without us. I would rather spend the day with you. Just you.”

Edwina felt warm all over at the thought of spending the day alone with her new husband. She had been excited about the ball, but she realized now that she was even more excited about the prospect of starting her life with Allan. If they could have done that right now, with no more waiting, she would have accepted the offer at once.

It wasn’t possible, though, and she knew it. “We’ve got to go in,” she told him. “You know we do.”

He sighed and gave a little chuckle of resignation. “I know,” he agreed. “It doesn’t stop me from wishing.”

The carriage came to a halt.

“Before we get out,” he said, “there’s one more thing I want to do.”

“What is it?”

He joined her on her side of the carriage and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her so close that she had no choice but to tip her head up and look into his eyes. Once she had, she had no desire ever to look away, and she didn’t know how she was going to bring herself to get out of the carriage and join the festivities. She didn’t know how she would ever tear herself away from this moment.

And it occurred to her, with a burst of joy, that she didn’t have to. This moment, this feeling she was sharing with Allan—this was her home now. This was the place she would always come back to, even if circumstances required her to leave. This was the life she had chosen.

She couldn’t believe she had waited so long to welcome a marriage—but then, she reflected as he pulled her into his arms and into a kiss, she had been waiting for the right man.

How lucky she was to have found him at last.

The End?