Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

“ W e shouldn’t remain here,” Lady Edwina said.

“We aren’t out of sight,” Allan pointed out. “There’s nothing scandalous about us coming this way for a bit of quiet to talk.”

“My brother wouldn’t like this very much,” Lady Edwina told him.

“Your brother doesn’t think much of you spending time with me.”

“Not very much, no,” she agreed. “You two are friends, so I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that he feels that way.”

Matthew had never agreed with Allan’s approach to his romantic life, but he had never really objected either. Of course, things were bound to be different now that Lady Edwina was involved. It made sense that Matthew would have more opinions when it came to his sister.

“If you need to return to him, I’ll come along with you,” he said.

Lady Edwina shook her head. “Let me go and speak to him on my own for a bit,” she suggested.

Allan was about to ask her why, but he noticed the look on her face and decided to keep his silence. It was clear that something was bothering her. The fact that she had decided, out of nowhere, that she wasn’t going to maintain the attitude of stubbornness that had been so constant so far made him think that she might still be upset. She had claimed that all she wanted was to know why he had purchased these five dates, and he had been honest in his answer. Maybe she was unhappy that he hadn’t told her that from the start. Maybe she felt that the two of them could have had an easier time of it if she’d known his true intentions.

And maybe that was the truth. He couldn’t be sure. What he did know was that he wasn’t entirely pleased himself about her promise to drop her defensive posture. It would make her easier to get along with, to be sure, but so far, he had enjoyed his struggle to get along with her. It was a part of the fun. If that was going away now, he would miss it.

She might mean to get along with me better, but that doesn’t mean she’s allowing me to charm her. In fact, this feels as if we’re going to be further apart than ever.

But maybe this had to do with her reason for wanting to go back to her brother. Maybe if he gave her the room she was asking for to take some space from him, she would recover from whatever was causing her distress, and the two of them could return to normal.

“All right,” he agreed. “You go. But you will come back to me, won’t you?”

“I will.”

“Because this is supposed to be one of our dates, and it won’t count if we don’t spend it together.” He gave her a rakish grin.

Ordinarily, she might have sputtered and protested or possibly—if he had caught her with her defenses down—even smiled back. It was so rare to see her unguarded smile, but when she did offer it, it lit up her whole face and transformed her. She was always one of the loveliest ladies he had ever seen, but that smile made him feel downright unable to take his eyes off her. More than once, he had found himself daydreaming about it when the two of them were apart—it was his favorite thing about her.

He longed to see it now. He had missed that smile. It might even be the reason he was teasing her—to try to bring it out.

But there was no smile today. “Don’t worry,” she said. “You’re going to get your five dates. If anything, I’d have thought you might want to draw things out—to make it all last a bit longer. After all, I’m sure you’re already beginning to get more attention from ladies. I saw that you were talking to someone when I arrived at the party.”

“Lady Rebecca isn’t the duchess I’m looking for,” Allan told her.

“Well, perhaps someone else here is.”

She turned and walked up the lawn. Allan watched her go, pondering what had gone wrong today. He would have to do his best to correct it the next time they were together. But if she was in such a bad mood today, perhaps it would be best to allow her some space. He would write this date off as a loss, and they would try again next time. She had as good as agreed that today wouldn’t count if she spent the rest of it with her brother, so there should be no argument about arranging an extra date.

She crossed the lawn to her brother. Matthew smiled at her arrival, then turned and beckoned to someone.

Allan squinted. Who was he calling over?

A red-haired man joined them. At first, Allan didn’t recognize him, but then he did—it was the Viscount Kentrow. What was all this about?

He knew Lord Kentrow from various events. The Viscount was a pleasant enough fellow, if a little bit foolish. He wore a massive grin on his face as he approached Lady Edwina, and he offered her a deep bow.

Lady Edwina turned to face him, putting her back to Allan.

Allan felt an unpleasant tightness in his gut. She had said that she wanted to return to her brother, not to socialize with random gentlemen on the day that was meant to have been a date with him. And from the way Matthew had called Lord Kentrow over as soon as Lady Edwina had approached him, Allan suspected that this was something he had planned all along. Perhaps they both had.

What was Lady Edwina doing? Hadn’t they agreed to no involvement with anybody else during the course of their dates?

Perhaps she thought that no longer mattered after she’d seen him with Lady Rebecca? Maybe she believed that he had gone back on their agreement first and that she no longer had to keep to it.

But if that was true, why did it seem as if this was a plan she had made before ever coming to the party today? Why did it look as if she had always meant to spend time with Lord Kentrow?

It occurred to Allan that, actually, Lady Edwina had not said she wouldn’t spend time with any other gentlemen while they were involved with one another. He had made her that promise, but he hadn’t asked her to return the agreement. Perhaps he had simply assumed that she wouldn’t be socializing with other gentlemen. After all, she was the unattainable spinster. She was known for keeping her distance from everyone who took an interest in her, so Allan shouldn’t have needed to worry about something like this happening.

“On your own?” a familiar voice asked.

Allan turned to see Seth approaching. “Where’s your wife?” he asked his friend.

“Playing pall mall.” Seth waved a hand in the direction of the lawn game. “I didn’t want to play. And then I saw you down here and thought I would come see what you’re doing all on your own, if you care to tell me. I thought you were going to be spending the day with Lady Edwina.”

“Yes,” Allan said. “I thought that too.”

Seth followed Allan’s gaze and spotted Lady Edwina with Lord Kentrow. “How long has that been going on?”

“I’m sure nothing is going on,” Allan replied.

“You don’t see her there with Lord Kentrow?”

“What of it?” Allan asked though, of course, the truth was that he had been stewing over it since Lord Kentrow had walked up to Lady Edwina.

“Well, she’s supposed to be here with you, is she not? What is she doing with him?” Seth asked.

“It isn’t as though Lady Edwina and I are actually courting one another,” Allan reminded his friend. “She’s at perfect liberty to socialize with whomever she likes.”

“You don’t mind it?”

“Why on Earth should I mind it?” Allan found the question rather irritating, even though he knew he had no good reason to feel that way. After all, Seth was right to speculate that he might mind what Lady Edwina was doing. He did mind. But he also knew that he had no defense for the fact that he was feeling that way. There was no justification for it, and he couldn’t bring himself to admit to it.

“Well,” Seth said, “I know that if a lady I was involved with was spending her time with another gentleman, I wouldn’t like it very much.”

“You know perfectly well that there is nothing between Lady Edwina and me. You know that I only bought these dates with her as a way of trying to attract the attention of a lady who would prove herself worthy of becoming my duchess. I have no quarrel with Lady Edwina spending a bit of time with Lord Kentrow. It has nothing to do with me.”

“Well, you feel how you like about it,” Seth said. “I only know that it would bother me if I were in your shoes. If a lady was supposed to be spending her time with me, I wouldn’t want to see her with someone else. You did pay for those dates, after all. You ought to be able to claim them.”

“And I will,” Allan said. “You’re making too much of this, Seth.” It felt good to tell his friend that he was overreacting—it felt like he was reinforcing that message to himself. “Lord Kentrow is a friend of her brother’s,” he added. “I’m sure that’s all it is. She’s spending time with her brother’s friend. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“I suppose not,” Seth said. “I just have to wonder whether you’re sure of what you’re doing, Allan.”

“I’m not doing anything at all.”

“If you tell me that it truly doesn’t bother you to see her with someone else, I’ll believe you.”

“That’s what I’m telling you. It doesn’t bother me.”

“All right,” Seth said. “I hope you don’t change your mind.”

“Why would I change my mind?”

“It seems to me that you might begin to develop feelings for her.”

“Oh, Seth, you ought to know by now that that isn’t going to happen,” Allan argued. “I think I’ve been more than clear about my feelings when it comes to Lady Edwina. I find her a pleasant enough young lady, to be sure, but you know that what I’m doing with her has nothing to do with feelings or any desire for a future together. I’m trying to find my perfect duchess, and that is not Lady Edwina.”

Seth nodded. “If you’re sure about how you feel, then all right,” he agreed. “I won’t try to convince you otherwise.”

“I’m sure.”

“Come and have something to drink, then. There’s no point in you sitting around at the riverside on your own. Not when there’s so much fun to be had. It’s a party, after all.”

“Very well,” Allan agreed and followed his friend up the lawn to where drinks were being served. He accepted a glass and sipped it, doing his best not to glance in Lady Edwina’s direction. He didn’t want to see her—but even more than that, he didn’t want her to see him looking at her. He wanted to pretend that he hadn’t even noticed that she was looking at another gentleman, laughing at his jokes, enjoying his company. That another gentleman had gotten that smile Allan found himself longing for with such ardor.

And he hadn’t even had to pay. She was actually spending time with him—apparently—because she wanted to.

I’m frustrated because I wanted to be the one to win over the unattainable spinster, and it bothers me to think that someone else might be succeeding where I haven’t yet.

But that wasn’t quite right.

He wasn’t bothered by the thought that he might have failed in his mission to impress her.

He was bothered by the thought that the fun times they had had together might be over—and that she might be giving that positive energy to someone else while she had only scowls and displeasure left for him.

It felt as if he had lost her, and that was a thought that made him feel downright miserable.