Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

“ A gift has arrived for you, Edwina,” her father told her.

It was the morning of the Hessler garden party, an event Edwina usually enjoyed because it was a break from the usual series of balls. She liked having a different way of socializing with people and loved the opportunity to be outside.

This year, though, she had mixed feelings about the party. It was to be the occasion of her third date with the Duke. They had arranged to meet there. Edwina had lingered in her room this morning, pondering how it would be to see him again.

On one hand, she wasn’t looking forward to it. She thought it would be likely to spoil the fun she would otherwise have at the garden party because she would have to spend the whole time paying attention to this date, and that wasn’t something she wanted to do. It might stop her from doing the things she would have liked—socializing with friends, playing lawn games, or walking down to sit in peace beside the water and simply thinking about the way things were going.

But on the other hand…spending time with the Duke was exciting. She didn’t want it to be, and she didn’t like to admit that it was, but she couldn’t quite deny the way she felt, and the truth was that being around him felt rather like Christmas—full of surprises and thrills.

She cursed the fact that he had such an effect on her. It was the last thing she wanted. It made her feel weak. But it was there, nonetheless.

She looked up at her father, who was standing in the doorway of her bedroom with the gift box in hand. It was large. “Who is that from?” she asked him.

“The tag says it’s from the Duke of Harbeck.”

Edwina frowned. “That’s odd.”

“Why is it odd? He’s courting you, after all. Sending gifts seems a very normal thing for him to do.”

“He isn’t courting me.” She forced herself not to look at the two books he had given her, which sat on her window seat. Her father had never thought much of her interest in reading. He wouldn’t say anything about the books, necessarily, but if he knew they had been a gift, he might have some comment. He might even try to take them from her.

“He’s as good as courting you,” her father said. “The difference is academic. Open your gift, and let’s see what he’s sent you.”

Edwina decided not to argue with her father anymore. She took the box, laid it on her bed, and opened it.

It was a beautiful gown in pale lavender, the latest fashion. Edwina’s first thought was that it was absolutely beautiful and that she couldn’t wait to put it on.

But that thought was followed quickly by another. “Why would he send me this?”

“I suppose he wants to see you in it at the party today,” her father said.

“I have plenty of gowns.”

“Edwina, it’s not uncommon for a gentleman to send a gift like this to a lady he admires. You know that.”

“He doesn’t admire me! He’s not doing this because he admires me, Father.”

Her father chuckled. “You may not think so,” he said, “but I doubt he would have bid all that money on you at the auction if he didn’t take an interest. Even though he may be acting as if he has no serious interest in you, I think you need to realize the truth. He does care about you. I think he wants to marry you.”

“I know he doesn’t want to marry me.”

“You believe the Duke is the one man in all of London who doesn’t want to marry you? You’re smarter than that.”

“Father, not everyone in London wants to marry me, for goodness’ sake! And yes, I believe the Duke is among those who don’t. As to his reasons for bidding on me at the auction, I couldn’t guess. Maybe he simply cared a great deal about making a contribution to charity.”

“I know you don’t think that’s the only reason.”

“Then maybe he wanted to show himself about town with the unattainable spinster.” In fact, of course, Edwina knew that was his reason, for he had told her so himself. But she knew that hearing the nickname would upset her father. She had been trying to hold back from saying it and regretted having done so at once.

He frowned. “Edwina, please don’t refer to yourself that way.”

“I’m sorry, Father. I know how you feel about it.”

“Having failed to marry so far is not something you ought to take pride in.”

“I understand.” She didn’t agree, but she did understand how her father felt about it. “I won’t say it again.”

“So, you’ll consider a marriage to the Duke?”

“I didn’t say that . Father, he hasn’t expressed any interest in continuing our relationship beyond the five dates he bid for.”

“Then you must try to be as alluring as possible so as to make him want to continue seeing you.”

“So, now you agree that he doesn’t want to marry me, and you want me to make him want to?”

“You make it sound so unreasonable. This is the way marriages are made, you know, and your refusal to play the game is the very reason why you haven’t found a husband.”

“And what of Lord Kentrow? That’s who Matthew currently wants me to marry, you know. Would you have me ignore that?”

“Lord Kentrow is a decent enough fellow, but he’s only a viscount. You have a chance to marry a duke. That’s the opportunity you should take. Look at how happy being a duchess has made your sister!”

“Father, Lavinia is happy because she’s in love with her husband, not because her husband is a duke.”

“I’m sure it’s both. And you may fall in love with the Duke of Harbeck, you know. Lavinia didn’t love her husband at first. It took her by surprise. The same may happen to you.”

“It certainly won’t,” Edwina said. “I know my own mind very well, Father. I’m not the sort to be taken by surprise in matters such as this.”

“I want you to give the gentleman a chance, Edwina. He’s the best possible match for you.”

“Everyone seems to have an opinion about who the best match for me would be,” Edwina said. “No one ever asks me for my opinion.”

“Of course, we do, Edwina. How many gentlemen have I invited to the house and sought your opinion on? And each and every time, you turn them away without giving them so much as a chance to win your favor. Now, you complain about not having your opinion sought, but it’s not as if I don’t already know what your opinion will be. If I ask you what you think about any gentleman at all, you’ll simply tell me that you don’t care for him and don’t want anything to do with him. Isn’t that what you would say about the Duke if I asked you?”

Edwina didn’t answer.

“Keep your silence, but you and I both know the answer to the question,” her father said. “That’s exactly what you would do, and frankly, I’ve had it. I’m not going to ask your opinion on every gentleman anymore. This is a good arrangement with the Duke. I want you to try your best to make it work. Tell me that you’ll do that.”

He gave her a stern look.

But there was something in that look that wasn’t quite the same as the father she had once known. He had been stern and strict with her all her life, but looking at him now, he seemed faded and lost. She could sense that he was tired, and for the first time, she truly realized how old her father was.

She remembered what Matthew had said. He was ill. He wasn’t himself anymore. That was why he had let her get away with the things he had for so long.

Edwina still didn’t want to marry. She still opposed the idea with every fiber of her being. But she didn’t want to argue with her father either. Doing so made her feel sad.

“I’ll do my best,” she told him.

It felt like a white lie. She couldn’t promise to truly do her best with the Duke because she genuinely didn’t want to marry him or anyone else. But as soon as she had said it, her father perked up and smiled at her.

“I knew you would see sense,” he said. “I knew you would come around in the end.”

“Yes, Father.” His happiness made her feel more guilty than she had already, because she knew she wasn’t being entirely honest. But it couldn’t possibly be better to upset him further by continuing to argue. She could placate him for now.

“Why don’t you change into that gown?” he suggested. “You don’t want to be late to meet the Duke—and I’m sure he’ll be excited to see you wearing it.”

“Yes, Father, of course.”

He left the room. Edwina took the gown out of the box and held it up. It really was lovely. She was grateful to have it—but she was confused as to what had made him send it to her.

It was another one of his games. That had to be it. He was testing her, wanting to see what she would do. Wanting to see whether she would actually wear the gown.

Well, she wouldn’t. No doubt that was what he wanted—for her to show up wearing the gown he had chosen for her. And when she did, he would use it as yet another excuse to tease her. He would tell her that she was proving how she truly did want to be married, how she wanted to submit to someone else’s wishes for her and be guided by a husband. That was probably why he’d sent that gown in the first place.

She wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. She would not wear the gown. Instead, she would wear something of her own, and she would look amazing in it, and everyone who saw her would know that she was still beyond their reach. She was, and would always be, unattainable.

She chose a favorite gown from her wardrobe, a blue one that she had worn many times to events like the one she would be attending today. She always drew compliments when she wore this gown. It fit her like a glove. It was comfortable, too. She admired it in the looking glass and thought she looked lovely.

She felt a strange stir of excitement, looking at her reflection.

Even though she hadn’t expected this response, she suddenly found herself eager to have the Duke see her. To have him see how good the gown looked on her. Surely, he would find it beautiful. And when he saw it…

What?

What would happen when he saw it? He wasn’t going to fall in love with her. She didn’t want him to.

Perhaps it was just the hope that her unattainability would frustrate him all the more. She did enjoy seeing him vexed, and she believed he would feel that much more irritated when he realized that she hadn’t needed his gift to make her lovely. Yes, that was it. She was looking forward to the possibility of flouting his wishes. Just as he liked to tease her, she realized, she had developed a certain love of teasing him.

She looked herself over one more time and then went downstairs, ready to meet the carriage that would take her to the party.