Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

“ S o, was I right?” Matthew asked Edwina as they ate their lunch together. It was only the two of them in the dining room—their father had gone to take a nap—and the lunch was a light one. Edwina found herself without much of an appetite. She was considering leaving the table altogether—but Matthew’s question stopped her.

“Were you right about what?” she asked him.

“About Isaac,” he clarified. “I thought you and he might be a good match. I know how important it is to you to find a kind man, and he’s very kind, isn’t he?”

“He is,” Edwina conceded. She couldn’t fault Lord Kentrow’s kindness. “It was a pleasure to meet him.”

“I’m sure he would like to see you again.”

“Didn’t he come here to see you? I feel as if the two of you hardly spent any time together at all. He was too busy getting to know me.”

“Oh, that’s all right,” Matthew said with a smile. “Isaac and I will see one another at the gentlemen’s club this evening. There was no reason for us to spend all our time with each other here, and I’m happy he got to know you. He’s always admired you from afar, you know.”

It didn’t surprise Edwina in the least to hear that—she had suspected it based on the way Lord Kentrow had acted toward her. “I think he’s a lovely person,” she said. “But he isn’t someone I want a courtship with, if that’s what you’re implying.”

“Edwina, must we go through this same old exercise again?”

“No, I don’t think we have to,” Edwina said. “I’m not the one who forced this subject by bringing a gentleman over. If you’re tired of arguing with me about the subject of marriage, you have every right to simply stop bringing it up. I’m happy for us to leave it behind altogether.”

“You know I’ll never do that.”

“Then you know the arguments will continue,” Edwina replied. “I don’t want to marry. That isn’t going to change simply because you introduced me to someone who was nice. He is nice, but that’s not enough to make me change the way I feel about the subject of marriage.”

“Well, you had better try,” Matthew advised. “This isn’t the last you’re going to see of Isaac. He’s perfect for you.”

“How can you be so certain that he’s perfect for me when we only met for the first time today?”

“I’m sure of it because even though you two don’t know each other well, I know both of you,” Matthew explained. “I know what kind of gentleman you need in your life, Edwina. You need someone strong and steady, someone who can stabilize you and help you settle into a more mature and secure life. And as for Isaac—well, he’s admired you from afar for a long time. He’s looked forward to having the chance to meet you.”

“Why would he admire me?”

“He’s heard of you.”

“The unattainable spinster ?”

“No, Edwina. He heard about you before you made that name for yourself. He heard that you were the loveliest lady in all of London, and he was intrigued by that. And now that he’s met you, he told me that all the rumors were true. He says you’re lovelier than he even imagined.

“I can’t marry him for that reason.”

“You can give him a chance for pity’s sake. You never give anyone a chance. I’ve found you someone kind and caring, someone who admires you, someone who’s an appropriate match for you. You should be thanking me. You’re very lucky to have someone so perfect for you available.”

“I wish you would stop. Finding me a match isn’t even your responsibility. You’re my brother, not my father. I wish you would go back to being that.”

“Father is ill, Edwina,” Matthew said rather severely. “He isn’t himself these days. You know that.”

Edwina closed her eyes. She did know. It made her worry, thinking about her father’s health. He wasn’t the stern father he had been when Lavinia had been in search of a husband, and though Edwina didn’t want that for herself, it was sad and worrying to see the change in her father. She tried not to think too hard about it, but sometimes, it was unavoidable, and Matthew had been right to bring it up.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly.

His voice softened, too. “You don’t have anything to apologize for. This is difficult. It’s hard for both of us. For all of us. But the best thing I know how to do right now is to step into his shoes where I can. Someone needs to take care of you. Someone needs to make sure that your future is certain. And if Father isn’t capable of doing that, it’s going to be me. Even if you don’t like it very much, that’s what I’m going to do.”

“No, you’re right,” Edwina said quietly. “I understand. I do. And I appreciate what you’re doing for me, truly. Even though I don’t want it sometimes—I know you do it because you care about me.”

“So does this mean that you’ll agree to see Isaac again?”

Edwina didn’t want to agree. Her gratitude to her brother didn’t extend so far that she was willing to marry—or even to be courted—just because that would make him happy. But she also didn’t want to argue with him anymore right now. And besides, Lord Kentrow had been pleasant company.

“I’ll see him again,” she agreed.

“I knew you would be reasonable,” he said. “I appreciate that, Edwina. I know you’ll see reason in the end. He’s a good man, and the right choice for you. Certainly better than Allan.”

At the mention of the Duke of Harbeck, Edwina felt her stomach clench. She had momentarily stopped thinking about him, but now, the thoughts of him returned.

What would he say if she were to tell him about her meeting with Lord Kentrow?

He would tease her, of course. That went without saying. He loved to tease her, to see whether he could provoke her. It seemed to be his favorite pastime—and the maddening thing was that it usually worked. She had never thought of herself as someone who was vulnerable to the charms and flirtations of gentlemen, but whenever she was around him, she felt nearly helpless to resist. It was downright upsetting—at least, it should have been upsetting—but she found she wanted more of it. She wanted to see him again.

So, it was the Duke, not Lord Kentrow, who occupied her thoughts as she went up to her room after lunch. She sat in her window seat and looked out over the grounds, wondering when she would see him next and what their next outing would look like, wondering what they would say to one another, swearing to herself that no matter how he behaved, she would resist. She would not fall victim to his charms.

She refused to allow that to happen.

And yet, even as she thought about it, she had an uneasy, uncertain feeling. She didn’t know whether she would truly be able to resist his charms. She had vowed that she would every time they had come face to face, and every time, he had gotten to her. Every time, she had allowed herself to fall victim to his appeal.

It had to stop. The next time she saw him, she swore, she would prove herself strong enough to resist him. She would show him that there was nothing he could do that would have a hope of winning her over.