Chapter 18

Caught Up in the Moment

"Igive up!" Nigel exclaimed throwing his hands in the air in frustration. "How anyone does this is utterly beyond me."

It had been three days since Olivia had arrived at his house, professed her love, and somehow extracted a proposal from him. And in those three days, he had known such happiness that he felt as though he were in a dream.

He was sitting in the garden of Pembleton Manor with an easel and canvas set up before him. Beside him, Olivia sat with her own easel and canvas, her tongue between her teeth as she dabbed at her work with a paintbrush.

"I am sure it is not nearly as bad as you think," Olivia murmured, not glancing up from her work.

"It is an abomination. Every time I go to paint something…" Nigel shook his head.

Olivia ran a hand through her hair, accidentally wiping paint across her brow as she did so. Nigel smiled, his heart twisting with joy as he watched her.

"You'll never manage anything if you continue staring at me like that." Olivia glanced at him, her eyes dancing with mischief. "After all, you are supposed to be painting the garden, not me."

"Perhaps I find you a more intriguing subject." Nigel grinned. "After all, the beauty of the garden cannot compare to you."

Olivia flicked her paintbrush at him. "Flatterer. Do not try and distract me."

"I am doing no such thing." Nigel clutched his hand to his chest in mock offence. "I would never try and distract an artiste such as yourself."

Olivia chuckled. "Of course, you wouldn't."

Nigel stood up and moved closer to Olivia. Unlike his odd mishmash of shapes and colours, Olivia had recreated the gardens in all of their glory. She has somehow even managed to capture the very feel of the air. Is there anything she cannot do?

Something tugged at his chest, and a small stab of guilt swept over him. I should tell her. This is not fair. I need to tell her about the curse.

"Why are you lurking over my shoulder like that?" Olivia asked, glancing up at him.

"I am not lurking."

"You most certainly are."

"Perhaps I am simply trying to get a few pointers by watching you work."

"Go back to your easel, and stop distracting me." Olivia shook her head, dabbing at a spot on her canvas.

"Or what?" Nigel felt a strange mischief swirl within him as he leaned close to Olivia.

"I shall stab you with a paintbrush." Olivia laughed and playfully swotted at him with the brush in her hand. "Go on."

"Will you always send me from your side with such threats?" Nigel danced out of reach of her arm.

"Only when you deserve them." Olivia stuck her tongue out.

"Perhaps I should have found myself a more biddable wife." Nigel cast a sidelong look at Olivia, darting out of the way as she threw her paintbrush at him.

"I am not your wife yet, good sir." Olivia retrieved her paintbrush and peered at Nigel's canvas.

"Are you changing your mind?" Nigel grinned.

"Of course not." Olivia pointed to Nigel's attempt at painting. "Though it is rather lucky that I am not marrying you for your skill with a paintbrush."

Nigel stuck his tongue out at her. "I told you that it was an abomination."

"I hope your talk with my brother went better than this painting." Olivia's tone was light, but he could hear the note of worry in her voice. "You spoke to him this morning, did you not?"

Nigel nodded. "We did. And we met at a neutral place as you suggested."

"Good. And how did it go?" Olivia canted her head towards Nigel.

He shrugged, his mind remembering the interaction. He had met Alexander at the London Club, and the two of them had settled into a booth opposite each other.

"So…" Nigel had gestured vaguely.

"So…" Alexander had repeated flatly. "Olivia tells me you have proposed."

"I have." Nigel swallowed, trying to read his friend's stony expression. "We are to be wed by special licence."

Alexander raised an eyebrow. "Then you are not planning on changing your mind."

"Do you wish me to?" Nigel asked, his shoulders tensing.

"I do not wish for my sister's heart to be broken." Alexander shrugged. "And you have already changed your mind once."

"I changed it from not marrying her to marrying her." Nigel pointed out in what he hoped was a reasonable tone.

"Exactly." Alexander fixed him with a firm look. "You were quite adamant when I found you that you would not wed Olivia. And now I am told that we are to be brothers-in-law. What changed?"

Nothing. Everything. Nigel felt his heart constrict and forced himself not to fidget. "Your sister."

Alexander canted his head towards Nigel. "My sister has changed?"

Nigel shook his head. "No. Just… well… have you ever tried saying no to your sister?"

Alexander's lips quirked, but the brief threat of a smile vanished quickly. "Are you saying you are only marrying her because you could not deny her? Do you not care for her?"

"I did not say that." Nigel ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "I love your sister. And for better or for worse, she loves me."

"Mores the pity." Alexander murmured, but Nigel saw the tension in his shoulders ease slightly. "I do not want you to break her heart."

"I do not mean to." Nigel felt guilt swell up in him. But I fear I will. I need to tell her about the curse before it is too late.

"Do you swear it?" Alexander held out a hand to Nigel. "Do you swear that you will not break my sister's heart?"

"For as long as I live, I will do everything in my power to keep your sister's heart safe." Nigel took Alexander's hand. "I love her, Rokesby. And I mean to love her for the rest of my life." No matter how long that is.

Alexander held his gaze for a moment and then said, "Good, because if you break her heart, I will snap you in two."

The threat hung between them. Then Alexander released his hand and waved down a nearby waiter.

"Let us have a toast to celebrate." Alexander grinned. "Welcome to the family, old chap."

Nigel smiled back, and the two of them raised a glass, toasting to the future. The previous night, not quite forgotten and the rift between them slowly starting to heal.

"Nigel, hello? I asked you about talking to Alexander?" Olivia's voice brought Nigel back to the present.

He smiled at her. "It went about as well as can be expected. He threatened me, and then we toasted to my good fortune."

Olivia looked at him, her face a mixture of frustration and disbelief. "He threatened you, and then you shared a toast?"

"Is this not how women do things?" Nigel raised an eyebrow, his voice teasing.

Olivia shook her head. "It is not. Does this mean you two are friends once more?"

Nigel nodded. "Yes, we are."

"Good. Then you are unlikely to challenge each other to a duel at the ball?" Olivia teased.

"Only if the entertainment is truly dire." Nigel winked, and Olivia rolled her eyes. "But hopefully it will not come to that."

"I should hope not." Olivia smiled. "Though if the entertainment is dire, I shall blame it entirely on you."

"On me?" Nigel shook his head. "My Lady, why should the blame rest with me."

"Are you not the one sourcing the musicians?" Olivia asked.

"And are we not both agreeing the dances for the night," Nigel countered. "Though I confess, I do rather plan on breaking with propriety for the evening."

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Do you indeed?"

Nigel nodded. "I plan on dancing with you and you alone, the entire night."

"Good sir, that is most improper." Olivia laughed. "Whatever will the good people of the ton think?"

"I care little what they think; all that matters to me is what you think." Nigel stood and pulled Olivia into his arms, kissing her forehead gently.

The scent of lavender washed over him, and he breathed in deeply. She nuzzled into his chest, and her warmth spread across his body.

"It is a good thing that I only wish to dance with you," Olivia murmured. "And a lucky thing that you dance far better than you paint."

Nigel laughed. "You wound me, good lady. But it is true, I dance far better than I paint. Would you do me the honour of a dance?"

Olivia laughed. "But Sir, there is no music."

"There is bird song, is there not? What need have we of music?" Nigel held out a hand, and then adopted a face of mock concern. "Unless you fear that your own skill does not match my own."

"Is that a challenge, my dear Duke?" Olivia's eyes sparkled in the sunlight.

"No challenge, merely an invitation." Nigel smiled as Olivia took his hand. "Shall we waltz?"

"I shall follow your lead," Olivia said.

Nigel inclined his head and began to waltz with Olivia. In the absence of music, he whistled the tune that had been playing the first time he had danced with her.

"This was the first thing we danced to." Olivia smiled at him. "When you came to my rescue at my first ball."

Nigel nodded and continued to whistle the tune. He led Olivia around the garden, turning her and imagining that they were in the ballroom.

"This should be our first dance when we are married," Olivia suggested.

Nigel stopped whistling, but neither stopped waltzing. "I think that would be an excellent idea."

"I did not think this is where we would end up when you asked me to dance." Olivia smiled shyly. "But I am glad that we are here."

"As am I." Nigel smiled down at her, stopping their waltz. "I do not think I could have imagined such happiness as I have felt these last few days."

"Nor could I." Olivia stepped away from him but did not relinquish his hand. "In truth, if you had asked me even a few months ago, I would have laughed in your face."

"Laughed? Dear lady, I suspect if I had told you that you would be engaged to me, you might have spit fire." Nigel laughed. "I do not think another woman has ever glared at me the way you have."

"Well, they do say the line between love and hate is rather a thin one." Olivia shrugged. "I confess, I far prefer love to hate."

"That is good. I know of far too many marriages where one spouse hates another." Nigel shuddered. "Why Baron Featherwhite and his wife have been married near two score years, and I do not think I have ever heard him say a pleasant thing about her."

Olivia nodded. "I cannot imagine being tied into a loveless match, much less one that is loathsome."

Nigel shrugged. "Not everyone has such choices."

"I suppose that is true." Olivia chewed her lip thoughtfully. "Would that we lived in a world where all were free to follow their heart."

"Indeed." Nigel nodded. "That would be truly a marvellous thing."

"It is so easy to forget that a love match is a rarity." Olivia gestured around her. "Especially when one is surrounded by married couples in love. Or when one's own parents and those people around them were in love."

"Yes." Nigel thought of his mother, and unbidden, the image of her heartbroken form sobbing over his father's coffin sprang to mind. He pushed the thought from his mind.

"I hope we are always able to follow our hearts." Olivia squeezed his hand, searching his face with her eyes.

Nigel swallowed and squeezed her hand back. "As do I."

"When we are married, do you think we will spend most of the time at Glassley?" Olivia asked. "Will we be able to have my family to stay on occasion?"

"Of course, your family will be welcome to stay as often as they want." Nigel smiled. "And we shall visit them at Emberly as often as you desire."

Olivia looked relieved. "I am glad. I worry that being so far from them may be hard."

"For you?"

Olivia shook her head. "On them. After father died, well… we are all terribly close. And Alexander has his growing family now, and I worry that mother might get lonely without me."

"I am sure she will miss you, but I suspect she will also be glad that you have found happiness."

"I hope so too." Olivia bit her lip, worry clear on her face. "Sometimes it feels as though it is my job to keep them all safe and happy. Isn't that silly?"

"It is not silly. When my father died…" Nigel swallowed hard, the memory of his mother's pain flooding through him. "… my mother was so overcome. For months, I feared I would lose her too. I did everything I could to make her smile. To show her that life was still out there."

"That must have been very hard for you." Olivia's voice was soft, full of tenderness. "You were rather young when your father died, were you not?"

"Yes."

"I wish I could have met him." Olivia smiled sadly.

"So do I." I wish he was still here.

"I am glad that our children will not have to bear such heartache and sorrow." Olivia's eyes lit up.

Nigel felt his heart twist. I should tell her. I must tell her. But the words would not come. Her eyes were so full of hope, of joy. How can I tell her that they shall grow up without a father?

"We are not even married and already you talk of children," Nigel teased though his chest felt hollow. "I mostly fear that Dandelion will spend her life trying to herd them from one room to another."

"Perhaps this will make it easier for us to wrangle them." Olivia laughed. "My aunt's dogs used to try and herd Alexander and me, but they were rarely successful."

"That is probably because herding children is not quite the same as herding cows." Nigel's heart seemed to sag in his chest.

He could see it now, Olivia with a small child in her arms. Weeping as Dandelion lay by her feet. I have to tell her. She needs to know what she is agreeing to.

Olivia caught his eye, a questioning look on her face. "Penny for your thoughts?"

Now. Now is the time to do it. Nigel opened his mouth, his heart hammering in her chest. He knew this was the right thing to do. He took a deep breath, preparing to tell Olivia everything.

"I need to tell you something —" Nigel began but a voice calling out from across the garden cut him off.

"Olivia! Olivia, do you know what time it is?" Jane called as she ran towards them. "It is nearly one o'clock!"

Olivia's eyes widened. "What? No, that cannot be true. It was not even eleven when we came into the garden."

"You have been out here for hours." Jane wrung her hands.

"Oh goodness." Olivia paled and then glanced at Nigel. "I completely lost track of time!"

Jane shook her head. "Come on, we must leave if we are to make your appointment at the modiste! Although, perhaps it would be best if you washed your face before we leave."

"My face?" Olivia touched the side of her face.

"You have paint on your face, dearest," Nigel explained.

"And you didn't tell me!" Olivia exclaimed. "Oh my goodness."

"Do not panic. I shall have a runner send word to the modiste that you have been delayed." Nigel caught Jane's eye. "And I am sure your mother has some connections that might allow Olivia some time to tidy herself before you leave?"

Jane nodded. "Yes. Though I would not like to keep her waiting longer than necessary."

Olivia glanced at Nigel. "You had something you wished to tell me?"

His heart squeezed, but he shook his head. "It does not matter. You must get to your appointment."

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked.

Nigel nodded, trying to smile reassuringly. I will tell her later. Let her enjoy this afternoon with her friend. "Yes, it can wait."

Olivia nodded. "Will you return to your house?"

"Yes. I would not wish to outstay my welcome. And there are some things I must attend to at the house." Nigel gently pushed Olivia towards the house. "Now go. You are already late."

Olivia hesitated a moment more before turning on her heel and running with Jane towards the house. Nigel watched them go, a sinking feeling in his chest.

He shook his head. He would tell her tonight. Let her have this perfect afternoon. It is not as though a few hours delay will make a difference. The curse is not so strong as that. At least, he hoped it wasn't. Vaguely, he wondered if his cousin had managed to find him a cure.

Though perhaps he will be less keen to help me after all this. With that thought, Nigel put his hands in his pockets and began to make his way home.