Chapter 17

In the Light of Day

The next day, Olivia woke with a heavy heart. The sky outside was grey and overcast which suited her mood. After Alexander had banished Nigel from the house, she had left the ball. She had not felt like dancing.

She went through the motions of the morning without thought, feeling as though her mind and her body were entirely separate entities. She could tell Jane wanted to talk to her, to ask what was wrong, but she found she could not bear to tell her friend about the night before.

How can it have been ruined so quickly? Olivia idly poked at her toast, lost in her own thoughts.

"My Lady." A voice brought her back to the present, and she turned to see the butler looking at her. "You have a visitor. A gentleman."

Her heart leapt. Nigel. It must be Nigel. "Where is he?"

"I bade him wait in the hall —" the butler began, but Olivia did not listen to the end of the sentence as she pushed past him into the hall.

Her heart seemed as though it would burst with joy as she saw a figure standing waiting for her. Then he turned around, and Olivia's hopes came crashing down around her.

Lord Briston stood before her, holding a bouquet of the pinkest roses Olivia had ever seen. Her heart sank, but she tried to keep her disappointment from her face.

"Lord Briston, I was not expecting you." Olivia could not quite bring herself to smile, but she hoped her voice was warm enough.

"My Lady." Lord Briston bowed and handed her the flowers. "These are for you."

"Thank you." Olivia took them, feeling a pang in her chest as she thought of her conversation with Nigel. It is more about the thought I suppose which is why I do not care for roses.

Belatedly, she realised Lord Briston was speaking. She shook her head, trying to banish Nigel's image from her mind. "I am sorry, I did not catch that, Lord Briston."

Lord Briston smiled. "I was saying that never in my wildest dreams had I expected such happiness. Such good fortune to befall me."

"And what good fortune is that?" Olivia asked, confused. Why is he telling me this?

"My Lady, you need not be coy with me." Lord Briston beamed. "My cousin told me everything."

Olivia's confusion deepened. "Pray, what exactly did your cousin tell you?"

"That you do not care for him. That you care for me." Lord Briston grabbed Olivia's hand, and she was so shocked by his words that she did not think to pull it away. "Truly, I had never expected anyone to consider me first. To want to be with me above all others."

Olivia shook her head, her sluggish mind finally understanding Lord Briston's words. "Sir, I believe you are mistaken. I did not say any such thing to your cousin."

"But—" Lord Briston frowned.

"I am sorry if I have given you the wrong impression." Olivia pulled her hand from his and stepped away, feeling lightheaded. "I did not mean to."

"What are you saying? Do you not wish to marry me?" Lord Briston's shook his head.

"I think you are a wonderful man, and I am sure you would make a most wonderful husband but not for me." Olivia took another step away. "I have no doubt that you will bring great happiness to another. That you will both know such joy, and truly I wish it for you. I am sorry, My Lord, but your cousin should not have said what he did."

Olivia felt a spark of rage as she thought of Nigel intimating anything of the sort to his cousin. How dare he presume to speak for me? To encourage his cousin so. It is cruel.

"Then you… you do not return my affection?" Lord Briston murmured softly.

Olivia shook her head, her chest constricting. "I am sorry. Truly I am. I… I truly wish you every happiness, and I have no doubt that you will find yourself a most excellent wife. It just… it will not be me. I am sorry. I… I must beg your leave."

She fled, not caring if she was being rude or impudent. All she wanted was to be as far away from the man as possible. She was dimly aware of someone calling after her, but she ignored it.

She was barely aware of where she was going until she found herself knocking on the door of Nigel's London house. It opened, and she found herself looking into the eyes of his steward.

"I wish to speak to Duke Glassley. Is he at home?" Olivia asked.

"He is in his study but—" the man began, but Olivia pushed past him.

She had been to Nigel's London house on a few occasions, all with her brother, of course. She rushed up the stairs and flung open the door to what she hoped was Nigel's study.

Nigel stood before her, still in the same clothes as the previous night. Beside him was a corgi, who barked as Olivia stepped into the room. Nigel whirled round, and Olivia saw the anger on his face.

"What are you doing here?" Nigel demanded, looking around. "Where is your chaperone?"

"I came here alone." Olivia's heart hammered in her chest.

"You what?!" Nigel shook his head. "You need to leave. You cannot be here. Damn it, think of the scandal this will cause."

"I do not care."

"You should."

"How dare you tell me what I should or should not do. You who dared intimate to his cousin that I had feelings for him. How dare you!"

Nigel paled. "I didn't say that. All I said was?—"

"You had no business to say anything. Not to your cousin. Nor to anyone else." Olivia strode towards Nigel, aware that the corgi was gently sniffing her feet. Do not be distracted. "I am through with men deciding my fate."

"I—"

"No. You will listen to me Nigel Glassley, and you will not interrupt me." Olivia let the anger and frustration and embarrassment pour out of her. "I am not some scared little girl who is too much of a fool to know her own mind. I am not the same woman I was weeks ago, who was too proud and angry to see the truth in front of me."

Olivia took a breath. "Last night, you said you wanted to marry me, but that you could not. That it would not be fair to me. That you would not force me into such a life of disappointment.

"But who are you to decide what would be fair to me? How dare you take that decision from me." Olivia prodded Nigel in the chest. "You do not get to decide what is best for me."

"But—" Nigel opened his mouth to protest.

"No. There is no but. I may not be as worldly as you are, but I think that I am the best person to decide what is good for me."

"But you do not know everything. You do not understand." Nigel began to turn from her.

"Then tell me. Tell me why I should not love you!" Olivia yelled at Nigel, only registering what she had said at the look of shock on his face. Oh. Oh God.

"You love me?" Nigel's voice was quiet, disbelieving.

Olivia hesitated, the frustration and anger roiling through her. She looked at his face, his faintly dishevelled appearance, and her frustration vanished.

She nodded. "I do."

"I love you," she said again, feeling the words flow through her as if they were igniting a fire within her blood. She laughed. "Fool that I am, I love you. You frustrating, irksome, arrogant man."

"I cannot tell if this is a confession of love or a dressing down." Nigel's lips quirked into a small smile.

"It is both." Olivia shook her head at him. "Try as I might, my fool heart has chosen you, and it will have no other."

"Olivia…" Nigel moved towards her, his hand outstretched and then stopped, shaking his head. "We can't."

"You keep saying that, but I see no reason that we shouldn't." Olivia met his gaze. "Unless… unless you do not love me."

The words felt like a noose around her neck. For a moment, neither of them said anything.

"It does not matter what I feel. We cannot marry."

"It matters to me." Olivia moved closer, catching Nigel's hand in her own. "Do you love me?"

Nigel looked at her, his eyes alight with something Olivia could not quite recognise. "Damn you. And damn me for a fool, but I do. I love you, Olivia Rokesby."

"Good." Olivia stroked Nigel's face. "I do not know why you think we cannot be wed, but I do not plan on being kept from you. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

An odd look crossed Nigel's face, but before Olivia could understand it, he had wrapped her in his arms and kissed her forehead gently.

"I take it you will not leave here without a proposal?" His breath tickled her skin.

"I will not." Olivia breathed in his scent, letting the nutmeg and cinnamon flood her.

Nigel laughed softly. "That is hardly a reason to make a proposal, for I do not want you to leave."

"Then give me a reason to stay."

"Marry me. Marry me, Lady Olivia Rokesby, and let us always remain two complete and utter fools together." Nigel tilted her head towards him.

"Of course." Olivia beamed at him and laughed delightedly as he caught her in his arms and twirled her in the air.

Her heart seemed to fill with joy as her feet left the ground. She was half convinced it would burst with the sheer force of her delight. How can one body contain such feelings?

As Nigel spun them around, the corgi, still on the ground, began to bark excitedly. Still laughing, Olivia felt her feet touch the floor once more as Nigel put her down. She was immediately assaulted by the exuberant dog.

"I am not sure that your brother will be pleased to learn of this." Nigel frowned, a sadness stealing over him as he knelt to pet the corgi at his feet. "I do not think I have ever seen him so angry."

"My brother may be a fool, but he will forgive you. After all, we are to be married." Olivia grinned. "And if he doesn't see sense, I will thump him until he does."

Nigel laughed in delight. "Oh, I would love to see that."

Olivia playfully batted Nigel. "I am sure you would, but I doubt it will come to that."

I will make him see sense. One way or another. Olivia took a step away from Nigel and beamed at him. "I think we should celebrate."

"Do you indeed? And what exactly do you have in mind?" Nigel raised an eyebrow at her. "It is rather early to be drinking, even for me."

Olivia shook her head. "That is not what I meant. Besides, I will have to return to Pembleton manor and tell them what has happened. Oh, I hope Lady Cotswalts will not be too upset."

Nigel took her hand and squeezed it gently. The warmth of his touch sent shivers through her. "Why would she be upset? I am sure she will not begrudge your happiness. Although I know she was trying to set you up with my cousin."

"You and her both, it would seem." Olivia shook her head at him. "Do not think I have quite forgiven you for that little transgression."

Nigel bowed his head. "I swear I will never tell another man you do not care for me again."

"Good." Olivia glanced towards the door then back at Nigel.

He had an odd look on his face. "Are you sure you want to marry me?"

Olivia canted her head towards him. "Yes. Unless you can think of a good reason that I should not."

Nigel opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Instead, he pulled her close once more and gently held her. They remained like that for a moment until the corgi moved between them, deciding that she needed attention.

Olivia laughed. "I shall take that as my dismissal. I will return tomorrow or perhaps this afternoon. Actually, perhaps it would be better if you were to visit Pembleton manor. After all, we have much to plan."

"Do we?" Nigel raised an eyebrow at her.

"Of course." Olivia felt that same odd giddiness rise within her and grinned mischievously at Nigel. "We have a wedding to plan. And an engagement ball to throw."

And with that, she slipped out of the study, leaving Nigel gaping after her.