Chapter 15

The Kiss that Broke the World

As soon as Nigel's lips touched her own, Olivia had lost all sense of the outside world. Nothing else existed, only her and Nigel. Her head swam. And then, suddenly, the warmth of Nigel vanished, and the world came hurtling back.

Olivia's mind was still reeling from everything that had just happened. He kissed me. Nigel kissed me. She touched her lips, still feeling the faint brush of his skin against hers.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Alexander's thunderous roar filled the room.

Olivia saw her brother looming over Nigel, rage emanating off him in such waves that she was amazed the paper and books did not burst into flame around them.

An odd giddiness filled Olivia, and she only just stopped herself from saying, "What did it look like we were doing?"

She was equal parts elated and furious. Of course, if anyone was going to interrupt this moment, it would be my brother. She glanced around and was relieved to see that no one else appeared to have followed Alexander. There is still hope.

"Well? Answer me!" Alexander leaned towards Nigel, who was still on the floor.

"Rokesby, I can explain," Nigel said sounding dazed — though Olivia was not sure if that was a result of their shared moment of passion or her brother hurling him across the room.

"Then explain." Alexander glowered at Nigel, and Olivia wondered if he would strike him. "Because it looked very much like you were taking liberties with my sister."

"Honestly, Alexander, liberties with me? Do I not have a role to play as well." Olivia scowled at her brother. "Perhaps we could all take a moment to calm down and —"

"I will not calm down. Not when I have witnessed such disgraceful behaviour." Alexander shook his head.

"You are being quite the hypocrite. If I recall, you started a scandal far worse and far more public with Rose last year." Olivia made to move towards her brother and Nigel, hoping to put herself between them.

Nigel met her eyes and flashed her a warning glance.

"That was different." Alexander ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Our scandal was based on falsehoods. We did not kiss. Besides, I did the honourable thing and married her. I assume that Maxton will do the same."

Olivia glanced at Nigel and saw him shake his head. Her heart twisted. Confusion warred with frustration.

"I cannot marry your sister," Nigel murmured.

Alexander grabbed Nigel by the collar, hoisted him into the air, and slammed him against the bookshelf. "What do you mean you cannot marry my sister?"

"Alexander. Alexander, please." Olivia took a step towards him, but he shook her off.

"I thought I could trust you." Alexander tightened his grip on Nigel, and Olivia saw Nigel begin to turn a worrying shade of red. "You! My oldest, my dearest friend! What the hell were you thinking?"

"Please, Alexander. Listen to me." Olivia made to tug at her brother's arm, but it was like tugging on the branch of an oak tree. "If you must be angry, be angry with me, too. I am just as much to blame."

"Rokesby, I —" Nigel tried to bat at Alexander's hands, his voice raspy and thin.

"How dare you spoil my sister. My sister. She is not some… some strumpet for you to dally about with at your leisure." Alexander's face was scarlet with rage. "You will make this right. So help me, God, you will do the honourable thing."

"Alexander. You are being completely unreasonable! Stop this at once!" Olivia tugged on her brother's arm. Why is he so strong? It is like trying to wrestle a horse. "Alexander, he can't breathe for goodness' sake."

Sure enough, Nigel was now a delicate shade of purple, and his clawing at Alexander's arm was getting more and more frantic. Olivia felt panic rise within her.

"If he dies, he will never be able to make this right!" Olivia cried.

This seemed to get through to her brother. Alexander shook his head and released his grip on Nigel's collar, letting him fall to the ground. Nigel landed in a heap, massaging his throat, coughing, and spluttering for air.

Olivia moved towards him. Is he badly hurt? She wanted to help him up, but Alexander put an arm across her chest and stopped her. He levelled a glare at Nigel.

"Brother, you are being ridiculous. He is your oldest friend!" Olivia tried to move past him but met with no success.

"I thought he was. But no true friend would behave as he has done." Alexander growled, staring daggers at Nigel who was slowly getting to his feet.

The other man held his arms up in a sign of placation. Or perhaps it is surrender? Olivia was relieved to see colour returning to Nigel's face, and she felt her own breath come a little easier. She glanced at her brother, who was still fuming beside her. Now to calm my fool of a brother.

"It was not Nig— the Duke's fault," Olivia corrected herself as she saw the tightness in Alexander's jaw at the mention of Nigel's Christian name. "Both of us must share the strength of your ire. I am just as much at fault as he is."

"I find that hard to believe," Alexander scoffed. "You are innocent in the ways of the world and particularly when it comes to men."

Olivia's anger flared. "I am hardly some wilting wallflower, too timid to know my own desires. Do you really think I would allow someone to kiss me if I did not desire it?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Nigel's lips quirk upwards though thankfully he caught himself before Alexander saw. Olivia felt her cheeks redden but used her anger to overcome her embarrassment. I did want it. God, I still want to kiss him. What is wrong with me?

Alexander paled briefly as though confronted by something he would rather not have seen. "Whether or not you desired it is not the point —"

"Truly?" Olivia's tone was mocking. "I should think that whether or not I desired the kiss is rather the point. After all, should not one only seek to kiss one whom they desire?"

Damn it, is this really the time to test your brother's patience, Olivia? Yet she found herself unable to resist. If another man insists I am too innocent to know my own mind, I swear I shall fling him from the window.

"Not if you are not married or at the very least engaged." Alexander frowned at his sister. "And you are neither."

Olivia opened her mouth to respond, but Alexander was right. They were not engaged or even married. Do I even want to be? Olivia glanced at Nigel, hoping he might be of some help.

"Olivia, you know what kind of scandal this kind of wanto—" Alexander stopped himself and cleared his throat, "this kind of behaviour is likely to cause. What if someone else had seen you?"

Olivia's heart twisted. Alexander knows too well what kind of trouble that can bring — it is after all, how he and Rose found each other. Though as Olivia thought this, she could not help but to reflect that the match had worked out rather well for both of them.

"More to the point, what would have happened if I had not found you?" Alexander's face was a mix of fury and embarrassment.

Olivia felt her cheeks redden. The strange, giddiness within her wanted to say I suspect more kissing. The sensible, rational side of her instead said, "Nothing would have happened; it was just a brief kiss in the privacy of my own home."

"A kiss that would ruin you. Maxton would walk away unscathed, but you, dear sister, would be ruined." Alexander glared at Nigel. "I thought that he held me and my family in such high esteem that he would not seek to cause such harm."

"I am my own person." Why does every man in my life insist on making my mind up for me? Olivia thumped Alexander. "That you think so little of me and my wit is distressing brother. The Duke did not force himself upon me —"

"I would never do something like that." Nigel looked at Olivia rather than Alexander, a steel in his eyes that made her heart stutter. "Not ever."

"Hold your tongue," Alexander spat.

"Brother, you are being ridiculous. You can hardly demand an explanation and then tell Ni— the Duke to hold his tongue." Olivia only just stopped herself from rolling her eyes. "Honestly, you are being rather hysterical."

"Do not continue to make light of this, Sister-mine. What he has done…" Alexander clenched his jaw in an effort to contain his anger. "If anyone else were to discover this, it would be all over the ton. Any hope for your future, for happiness and marriage, would vanish. You know this."

"Of course, I know that. I live it every day." Olivia felt her irritation rise.

"You of all people, should know that you can ill afford for such things to happen." Alexander pointed an accusing finger at Nigel. "Though you, Sister, have the excuse of youthfulness; Maxton does not. On his honour as a gentleman, he should not have behaved as he did."

"Rokesby, I am sorry." Nigel sighed. "I do not know what else to say, I —"

"No…" Alexander made to move towards Nigel, but Olivia darted in front of him. "I do not want your apologies. I want you to do the honourable thing. You will marry my sister."

Olivia's heart skittered. "No, I do not want the Duke to be forced into a life with me. I do not want any man to be forced to marry me." I want to be chosen.

"It matters little what you want. With what has transpired, there can be only one honourable course of action." Alexander's voice was a low growl. "Maxton will marry you."

Olivia turned to look at Nigel, who met her gaze. She saw the anguish in his eyes and felt her heart break. He does not want to marry me.

"I have already told you, Rokesby. I cannot marry your sister." Nigel's body slumped as he said it.

Alexander made a grab for Nigel once more, but Olivia was in his way. She glared at her brother, trying to ignore the pain she felt.

"What do you mean you cannot marry her?" Alexander's voice was full of cold fury. "How dare you toy with her emotions so!"

Nigel shook his head. "I should not have kissed her. It was wrong of me."

"Then you regret it?" Olivia's voice was small, and she could not keep the pain from it.

Nigel met her eyes sadly. "Were the world a different place, I would not. It is not the kiss that I regret, but the harm it might cause you. I have no wish to hurt you."

"Then marry her." Alexander insisted mulishly.

Olivia ignored him. "I have no wish to be hurt."

"Whether or not you wish it, hurt will surely follow if news of this spreads." Alexander shook his head. "I cannot confess to understanding what has transpired, but one thing I do know is that we cannot allow for this breach of propriety to go unchallenged. Maxton must marry you. There is no other way."

"It was just a kiss. Hardly the most scandalous thing to have happened between Nigel and myself," Olivia said without thinking, her patience finally at its breaking point.

There was a moment of silence as Nigel's eyes widened. Belatedly Olivia's mind caught up to her mouth, and with dawning horror, she realised what she had done.

Alexander's eyes widened in shock and then narrowed in fury, his voice barely more than a whisper as he hissed, "What exactly do you mean by that, Olivia? Do you mean to imply this is not the first time you have been… intimate?"

Drat. Honestly Olivia, what are you thinking? Olivia swallowed at the fury in her brother's eyes but held her ground. "No, we have never kissed before if that is what you are implying."

Her cheeks reddened as she said this, but she refused to look away. Alexander took a deep breath.

"Then what exactly do you mean when you say this is hardy the most scandalous thing you have been involved in?" Alexander's voice was dangerously soft, like a viper poised to strike.

Olivia's mind was distressingly blank, unable to think of a way out of the hole she had just dug herself. "Um… well… it's rather a funny story actually…"

"Oh, is it?" Alexander's words were like a knife, and Olivia winced. "I would so love to hear it. I am much in need of some humour."

Olivia glanced at Nigel and then back at her brother. "Well. When I say funny story… there isn't much to tell really. It was just a silly, accidental thing."

"What. Happened." Alexander's voice was dangerously quiet.

"I have some trouble with sleepwalking," Nigel spoke at last, and Olivia tensed. "It is worse after I have drunk, but it can happen at any time."

"I fail to see what your nighttime habits have to do with this." Alexander frowned.

"Well… do you remember when Nigel came to stay at the castle?" Olivia's shoulders were practically by her ears, and it was only with a huge effort that she forced them to relax.

"Yes…" Alexander looked between Nigel and Olivia. "What. Did. He. Do?"

"Well, it is not as though there were any sort of intention. One cannot help where one wanders when one is asleep." Olivia's heart threatened to erupt from her chest, blood thundered in her ears, and she was very tempted to flee from her brother's angry gaze. "The thing is… well, um…"

"I sleepwalked into Olivia's room." Nigel looked deeply embarrassed. "And only discovered this when the maid started screaming."

"You were in her room. Surprising but hardly reason to scream." Alexander said.

"Um… well… he was sort of… um… well… in my bed," Olivia said the last part as quietly as she could, half hoping Alexander would not hear her.

"YOU WHAT?!" Alexander rounded on him. "And you two are not married? Not even engaged?"

"Brother, mother, and Lady Cotswalts both understood that it was a simple misunderstanding. There was no harm done," Olivia said.

"Mother and Lady Cotswalts knew of this? And they allowed him to leave without the promise of an engagement." Alexander glowered around the room. "You may have convinced them, but I cannot allow this to stand."

"Brother, please. Do not do this." Olvia glanced at Nigel. I do not want him to be with me through force. I cannot abide that.

"You will marry my sister. Damn it, Maxton, you will do the honourable thing." Alexander pointed a threatening finger at Nigel.

Nigel shook his head, looking utterly wretched. "I cannot. I cannot marry your sister, Rokesby."

"Do not be a fool. You can, and you will," Alexander spat.

"I cannot." Nigel looked at Olivia, and she understood that his words were meant for her. "Though my heart dearly wants to say yes, more than I can say… my head, my head knows that I cannot do this. I cannot marry her even though I want to. It… It would not be right."

Olivia felt an odd mix of excitement and pain race through her. He wants to marry me. "Brother, I do not want any man to be forced to be with me. Please, if Nigel says he cannot marry me, then I do not wish to force him."

Yet even as Olivia said this, some part of her wondered why Nigel was so insistent on not marrying her. How can he seem to care for me so deeply, and yet still insist that he cannot marry me? I do not understand. For a moment, she considered speaking the words aloud.

Catching sight of Alexander, she realised that any reason Nigel might have would not be easily gleaned while her brother was in attendance. There will be time to understand this later; for now, I must focus on the task at hand.

"I do not care. I cannot allow such dishonour to go unchallenged." Alexander's eyes were full of steel. "If you do not marry my sister, there is only one course of action left to me."

"Alexander, no. Do not —" Olivia began but Alexander spoke over her.

"At dawn, we will settle this like gentleman," Alexander spoke the words flatly, more promise than threat. "We shall settle this with a duel."