Chapter One

Three years later

“Is it true?”

Lucian scowled as the door opened and his friend swung jauntily into the room, a broad grin on his face. “I do not think I gave you permission to walk into my drawing room, Radcliffe.”

“I do not need your permission,” came the breezy answer, his friend now slouching in one of the chairs opposite Lucian, crossing his legs at the ankle. “Well?”

The scowl on Lucian’s face grew darker. “I do not like you always coming in here making demands on me or asking your incessant questions.”

This did not seem to push Lord Radcliffe back for he merely shrugged and then tilted his head clearly waiting for Lucian to answer. This, Lucian reminded himself, was why he had become rather tired of Lord Radcliffe of late. The man was always pressing him, coercing him and otherwise irritating him – and today, it seemed was no exception.

“You know that I will simply sit here until I have my answer.”

Biting his lip so as to keep back the very first sharpish thing he was about to say, Lucian grimaced. “You are deeply irritating, Radcliffe.”

“I know that I am and I do not think it a bad thing.”

“You have not always been so.”

At this, the light smile on Lord Radcliffe’s expression faltered. “I do not think that it is I who has changed, my friend.” His tone was quiet but the steadiness in his gaze made Lucian’s mood darken all the more. “I understand that these last few years have been more than a little trying for you but you have become rather… hidden.”

“Hidden?” Finding himself a little offended at his friend’s remarks, Lucian gritted his teeth for a moment. “How dare you suggest that a gentleman ought not to grieve his betrothed?”

Lord Radcliffe’s eyebrows shot towards his hairline. “I did not say such a thing.”

“You suggest that the altering of my character is something to be considered poorly!” Lucian continued, not even listening to his friend. “Are you suggesting, therefore, that the death of my betrothed should have no effect upon my character?” He waited expectantly, quite sure that his friend would either give a defense or rise and make his way from the room – the latter of which, Lucian wanted, truth be told – but instead, Lord Radcliffe only shrugged, settled his hands in his lap and looked back at Lucian steadily.

A heat began to creep up Lucian’s chest, making him frown and look away. There was the pressure of embarrassment and shame seeking to make its way into his heart and more than anything, Lucian did not want to permit it entry. He wanted to remain as he was, to be as he was, dark and sullen and without any desire for company and yet despite that, Lord Radcliffe continued to trouble him. In his heart, Lucian had to admit that the reason he had said such a thing was not because he believed that Lord Radcliffe was suggesting he ought not to be grieving Lady Pearl but because he wanted his friend to quit the room and leave the estate at once… and it seemed as though Lord Radcliffe knew it.

“I am sorry.”

The words were uttered in a quick, mumbled fashion though Lucian did not look at his friend when he spoke. Instead, he cleared his throat and then rose from his chair, making his way to where the whiskey and brandy sat. “Drink?”

“Please.” Lord Radcliffe’s voice was calm enough though Lucian’s face burned with heat. Quickly, he poured two measures of fine French brandy and then walking back to his seat, handed one to Lord Radcliffe – still without so much as glancing in his direction.

“You did not answer my question.”

Closing his eyes, Lucian let out a long sigh in the hope that Lord Radcliffe would not press him to answer but it was not to be. When he looked at Lord Radcliffe, his friend still held that quizzical, curious expression on his face and was gazing steadily back at him, which meant that Lucian had no choice but to answer.

“I am afraid that I will stand by my statement that you are somewhat irritating with your perusal,” he muttered, rubbing one hand over his eyes. “You force me now to answer.”

“Good for I should very much like to know if you truly do intend to come to London. Society is abuzz with the news!”

Lucian’s scowl returned with force. “Might I ask why?”

“Because,” Lord Radcliffe returned, quickly, “because you are a gentleman who has not been seen in three years, who has refused all company – aside from my own –”

“Which you force upon me.”

“And because your dark manner of late has garnered you something of a reputation, even in your absence,” Lord Radcliffe continued, steadily ignoring Lucian’s sharp interruption. “You have shunned society, have refused to come to the London Season but now , this Season, it is said that you will make your return!”

“Only because I must.” Lucian shook his head and sighed, his stomach knotting. “A cousin is to be married and I have been invited. It would be churlish not to attend.”

“I see.” Lord Radcliffe’s lips curved. “You are going to be back in society after all, then. This time, it seems, the ton ’s whispers have proven true!”

“Indeed, though I do not think much of the ton for muttering about me when I am absent from their company.”

Lord Radcliffe chuckled, making Lucian’s brow furrow, wondering why his friend was laughing. Evidently seeing this, Lord Radcliffe shrugged and then spread out his hands. “You cannot expect to write harsh, blunt letters to those who invite you to their events without those responses being shared with others,” he said calmly, as though this was something Lucian ought to not only have expected but accept without question. “The ton do not think favourably of you, my friend.”

“I do not care,” Lucian answered, harshly, ignoring the twist in his gut. “I think them foolish for their lack of consideration.” He waited for his friend to say something, to respond in some way but all Lord Radcliffe did was look away and then take another sip of his brandy. The twist in Lucian’s gut grew all the stronger, making him wince though he ignored it as best he could.

“I will come to London for the wedding, for the celebration and for nothing more,” he continued, when his friend remained silent. “Then I will return here and continue on as I am.”

“Alone and desolate, then.”

The words snapped out of Lord Radcliffe’s lips and Lucian’s gaze shot back towards his friend.

“You have altered, as I have said,” Lord Radcliffe continued, setting down his brandy glass on the table and then rising to his feet. “Over the last three years, you have pushed everyone away and, indeed, had you had your way, I too would have gone from your company, I am sure! But I am too determined for that,” he continued, sounding almost triumphant as Lucian looked away again, a scowl beginning to pull at his features one more time. “I can see that this is causing you great difficulty, my friend, whether you yourself see it or not.”

“What is causing me difficulty?” His tone was harsh and angry but Lucian made no attempt to change it – and Lord Radcliffe did not seem to be in the least bit concerned by it given the way he continued.

“In pushing others away,” he said, quietly. “In making it quite clear that you have no interest in anyone else’s company, you have effectively isolated yourself almost entirely!”

Lucian shrugged. “Might you consider that I want that?”

“You may want it but it is no life for a Duke – or for any man – to live,” Lord Radcliffe continued, quietly. “That is why I say that it is injurious to you though you will not agree with me, I am sure. Instead, you think that living alone, covering yourself in shadow and dark, is all that you require.”

“It is all that I deserve,” Lucian muttered, pushing one hand through his hair, instantly regretting speaking those words aloud. They were the words that continually rang through his mind, the words that filled his mind, almost his entire being. That was why he lived now as he did, why he skulked through the house and his estate almost entirely alone. He had robbed his betrothed of life itself, so why, then, should he enjoy anything this life had to offer? No, he would do his duty to the estate and to his title as he ought but that was all. The only reason he had accepted the wedding of his cousin was because of the urging from many, many relatives, who had all taken it upon themselves to write to him separately – though Lucian did suspect that they had collectively agreed to do so. He had not had the strength to refuse them all and thus, his one excursion to London was soon to come upon him.

“That is nonsense, Lucian.”

It was not the first time that his friend had used his Christian name, but it was rare enough for Lucian’s heart to catch with surprise.

“You did nothing to bring Lady Pearl to her end,” Lord Radcliffe continued, now making his way to the door. “All you did was ride along with her and before you forget, she took that left path, not you. I believe that Lady Pearl was quite determined to make her way along there despite your protests, as you told me yourself, so what blame do you have for what took place? You were not one of the highwaymen, you were not one who set upon her in that rule and outrageous manner and therefore, you have no guilt. Though, I am sure you will tell me otherwise.”

“I will.”

Lord Radcliffe shrugged. “Then I shall continue to irritate you both with my insistent presence and my repeated promises that you are not to take on any blame in this, my friend. Now, I think I shall see you in London, shall I not? At a ball or two?”

Lucian shook his head, one hand clenching into a fist. “My friend, I have already made it clear that –”

“I am sure you will be convinced,” Lord Radcliffe interrupted, before Lucian could begin again. “Someone will encourage you to make your way to a ball and soon, all of society will be alive with the news of your arrival in London – and then what will you do? Bark at them, rebuke them for even speaking with you? Reject one after another with harsh, unkind words?” A hint of a smile played around his lips but it did not send any light into his eyes. “I hardly think you will do such a thing, Strathmore, even if you are determined to do so. Your character might have altered somewhat but you are not cruel.”

“You speak very confidently,” Lucian answered, a bolt of anger racing up his spine. “I have every intention of behaving just as I please which will, in fact, push the ton away from me, making it plain to them that I have no intention of being a part of society. And I shall do so with as much harshness and as much determination as I deem fit.”

Lord Radcliffe opened the door, his words floating back towards Lucian as he made his way from the room. “We shall see, my friend. We shall see.”