Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

“ I still cannot believe it,” Charlotte said. “Truly, I would have never—are you sure he meant what he said?”

“I would not be here if he did not,” Hannah muttered, wishing to have any conversation but this one. Not again.

“But still,” Charlotte pressed. “Things spoken in the heat of the moment can often be misunderstood or taken the wrong way. I am sure that if you spoke with him once more, he would realize?—”

“He won’t.”

“If you make him see?—”

“That will not work.”

“There is just no way?—”

“Charlotte!” Hannah snapped, unable to keep herself from doing so because she was feeling a mix of many things right now, and one of them was certainly anger. “He said what he said, and he meant it. And if you know Frederick half as well as I do, you would know that he isn’t the type to change his mind.” She curled her upper lip. “At least not about this.”

She could see Charlotte wanting to push. The concern on her older sister’s face, paired with worry and despair, brought about a refusal to accept the facts as they had been presented. It was her love for Hannah that did it, that sisterly desire to do whatever she could to make things right.

Sadly, there would be no making things right, and thankfully, Charlotte seemed to realize as such—or perhaps she simply recognized the look on Hannah’s face and decided that now was not the time to push.

“You can stay here as long as you need,” she offered, shuffling closer and wrapping her arm around Hannah. “As long as you need,” she emphasized.

“Thank you,” Hannah mumbled. “But one night should do it. Tomorrow, I will have to go home and face our parents.”

Charlotte grimaced. “What are you going to say?”

“The truth,” Hannah said absently, not wanting to think about that conversation either. As hard as everything had been, that promised to be calamitous, for there was little chance her father would be so willing to accept the facts as Charlotte had. “Or a version of it,” she added bitterly.

“Father will understand.”

“I doubt it.”

“Mother, then.”

“She will do as Father says.”

“They will understand, Hannah.” Charlotte squeezed her tightly. “This is not your fault. It is your husband who should take the blame. And knowing Father, once he sees that, he will make sure of it.” She chuckled lightly in an effort to break the tension. “Truly, I will not envy Frederick when that happens.”

“Perhaps…” Hannah said, more to herself. “We will see.”

She might have liked the idea of Frederick being on the receiving end of her father’s wrath. She might have taken a little bit of pleasure in knowing that he would surely suffer for what he had done. She might have liked… No, she could not even bring herself to pretend to take pleasure in the thought.

Charlotte seemed convinced that this was all Frederick’s fault and Hannah was the victim here. And while that was mostly true, a small part of Hannah could not help but wonder if perhaps she should have done things differently, and if she had, whether the result have been the same. Likely not.

It was just yesterday when she and Frederick had their fight. A fight that left her sprawled on the floor in their foyer, weeping as if her world was about to end—in her mind, it very much was.

She had not tried to seek Frederick out after their fight, knowing there was no point. Rather, she had gone to one of the spare rooms and slept there—or tried to. She spent the night awake, knowing that Frederick would be too, wondering if he would come to her or if she should go to him. More than once she considered it, feeling that need to apologize and explain that she was wrong, that she could change, that this was an overreaction.

In the end, she did nothing of the sort. Frederick wanted one thing. She wanted another. And as she knew her husband so well, there would be no changing his mind. So rather than seeking him out, she spent the night in tears.

The next morning, she left early, not surprised that Frederick remained in his room until after she was gone, sneaking out and taking a carriage to Charlotte’s house, where she decided that she needed one more night before facing her parents. Charlotte was the more levelheaded of her two sisters, and that as much as anything was what Hannah needed.

A little more crying. A little more soothing. Eventually, Charlotte led Hannah to the spare room, where they sat right now, both reckoning with the reality of the situation and what was to be done. What could be done.

“An annulment, then?” Charlotte suggested eventually, still sitting with her arm around Hannah.

They sat together on the bed, although Hannah very much wanted to crawl under the blankets and cry her eyes out.

“What?”

“That is what Frederick will seek, yes?”

“Oh.” Hannah blinked at the question. “I am not sure. I haven’t really thought about it.”

“Forget I asked,” Charlotte said hurriedly. “It is not important. All that is important is that you are comfortable and…” She bit her lip, her chin beginning to wobble. “And that you realize you are better off without that awful, awful man.”

Hannah forced a smile and, feeling her emotions about to get the better of her, shoved her head into her sister’s chest to keep herself from weeping. Always the strong one, always the dependable one, even now she did not like the idea of crying openly in front of Charlotte.

She wished she could believe what her sister said. About how terrible a person Frederick was. About how awful a husband he had decided to be. That was, after all, the reason she had given for having to leave. His sudden announcement that their marriage wasn’t working for him, and he wished to never see her again. A lie… but it was easier to tell than the truth.

An annulment? Was that even possible? Hannah did not want to think about such a thing. Yes, she had cried. Yes, she had accepted her fate the best she could. But deep down, she wondered if maybe Frederick would change his mind, if this wasn’t the end, if there was still a chance…

But that would require her to give up on the notion of having children entirely. To make him believe that she had. To accept that their marriage would not progress, for how could it if they didn’t start a family?

Even as sad as Hannah was feeling, even as broken, she wasn’t sure she could do such a thing.

And then, as if to confirm this point, a little head poked around the door of her room—Charlotte’s four-year-old son, Sebastian.

“Mummy!” He saw Charlotte sitting on the bed and ran for her, holding out his little arms expectantly.

And Charlotte, spotting him coming for her, was quick to let go of Hannah, lean forward, and scoop her son into her arms. “Oh, what are you doing up here?”

“Where were you?” Sebastian pouted. “I want to play!”

“You’re supposed to be with Miss Emily,” Charlotte said in her motherly voice. “You didn’t sneak out, did you?”

There was a look of mischief on the little boy’s face.

“Oh, Sebastian. What am I going to do with you.” She pretended to be angry but could not keep herself from smiling.

With her son sitting on her lap now, it was impossible not to see the pure love and adoration that Charlotte held for her only child.

Hannah watched the two with a sense of melancholy. Charlotte had just one child, whereas Beatrice had even more. Each as loved as the other, adored and worshipped as any mother would adore and worship her children. And Sebastian, his little arms wrapped tight around Charlotte, giggling as she began to tickle his stomach while telling him he needed to behave, was typically enchanted by his mother as any young child would be.

It was hard to watch. Harder to sit through. A reminder now of the fight that Hannah and Frederick had, while seeming to confirm that Hannah had made the right decision. The only decision.

She wanted what her sister had. She wanted a child of her own. Someone to love and care for and raise in her image. What was more, she wanted to share that with the man she loved. And if Frederick was not willing to be that man…

The tears came suddenly. Hannah tried to stop them, but they burst as if from a broken pipe, and she fell onto the bed, shoving her head into her pillow, ignoring Charlotte, who was trying to put her son down so she could comfort her.

Hannah’s marriage was over, and now, a day afterward, she was finally beginning to accept that fact. Not that this made things any easier, but she supposed that was what the crying was for. And with how she was suddenly feeling, she had no doubt that there was plenty more to come.