Chapter 24

CHAPTER24

As soon as they were outside, Jane went to the railing and closed her eyes, inhaling deeply. The cool evening breeze cleared up her head a little. The lightheadedness was still there, but it was far less potent than when she was back inside.

She opened her eyes after a few moments to find Seth standing by her side. He was staring somewhere into the distance at some invisible spot only he was able to see. She didn’t feel like interrupting this solitary moment of contemplation, so she remained quiet, waiting for him to speak first.

After a second or two, he did so. “Are you feeling better?” he asked.

“A little, yes,” she nodded. “Thank you for accompanying me.”

“No trouble at all,” he assured her, leaning forward against his arms. “When Leo returns, I shall go back inside. There is this lady I’ve been wanting to introduce myself to.”

“Oh,” Jane exclaimed. “Do not let me prevent you from enjoying the evening. You can go back inside now if you wish. Leo shall be back shortly. You heard him.”

“I couldn’t,” Seth shook his head. “What sort of a gentleman would I be to leave a lady alone and unattended?”

“I don’t know,” Jane admitted, “but I am telling you that I am perfectly all right to remain by myself for a few minutes.”

“Or I could invite the lady to join us here,” Seth seemed to ponder certain possibilities in his mind, obviously moving away from the conversation they were having just now and starting a new one. “It would almost be like that first night when you and Leo met.”

Jane felt as if a bee stung her. Instinctively, she rubbed her upper arms with the opposite hands although she was not the slightest bit cold.

“He told you about it?” she asked.

Seth stared at her right in the eyes. “We are best friends. We share everything.”

There was something about this word everything that she didn’t like the sound of, but she knew that she needed to find out more about this. Curiosity would not let her be.

“What did he tell you about me that first night?” she inquired.

Seth scratched the back of his neck, clicking his lips together. “Well, that you were very beautiful which, I must say, is more than true.”

She ignored the compliment. “But… did he mention whether he recognized me instantly or not?”

“You mean that you were the daughter of his late father’s worst enemy?” Seth clarified.

Jane swallowed heavily. “Yes.”

“Of course, he knew who you were,” Seth said as if that were the most logical thing in the world, and he was surprised that she did not know it herself. “Didn’t he tell you all this?” Seth asked, tilting his head a little.

“He did,” Jane nodded quickly. “He knew who I was. And… the rest. I know it all.”

Seth paused for a moment. She could feel his eyes burning through her cheeks, right into her very brain, trying to decipher what was going on inside of it. She felt stark naked underneath that gaze although she had more than enough clothes on.

“Then, you know that his father made him approach you that first time,” Seth clarified once more. “It was all a plan to destroy your father. I mean, this whole thing is part of that plan!” He gestured around them as if he were referring to her entire existence.

Jane felt as if someone had grabbed her by the throat, a long, claw-like hand was squeezing her, making it increasingly harder to breathe. She could just stop the conversation here. She could run back inside and demand an explanation for the lies Leo had told. She could have done all that, and yet, she did not. She remained here. It was obvious that Seth knew a lot about this, being Leo’s best friend. She had to find out all of it.

“You mean this ball?” Jane asked a silly question on purpose, wanting to make Seth think that she was just like every other lady he had a very low opinion of. She wasn’t smart enough to be on the same intellectual level as he was. That was what she needed him to think right now.

“No,” Seth chuckled. She could hear it in his voice. The assurance that he was the better of the two in every respect. “This marriage. It is not just a marriage of convenience but also a marriage of revenge.”

Jane could not believe what she was hearing. Had Leo been lying to her all along? That was impossible. How could he mimic such emotions without truly feeling them? What sort of a monster was he? She felt as if she did not know him at all. The man she had come to know, to love, was not Leo. It was some imaginary person that had been created to make her believe an entire lie—the lie that her life had become.

Seth turned to her, sounding concerned. He was still staring at her, but he was truly worried.

“I thought you two discussed this,” he admitted. “Now that you are… really together.”

Jane swallowed heavily. “He did not discuss anything with me.”

Seth gasped silently. “Then… I betrayed my best friend right now?” He pulled away, his eyes wide with shock. “I’m sorry… I thought that the truth was all out. I mean, he told me that you were really together now, and I assumed that in order for that to happen, he needed to come clean about everything, about the way he lied to you, and the reason he forced you to marry him in the first place.”

Once again, she remembered everything about her pre-marital state of mind. She reverted back to the times when Leo was as much her enemy as her father was. In light of everything that she had just found out, it seemed that nothing had changed. She was merely led to believe one lie after another while, in fact, she was still in the same place as before. She was a pawn in the hands of men who believed they could do with her life as they saw fit, as if it belonged to them and not to her.

“I… I don’t know what to say now,” Seth admitted, his hand still on the back of his neck, glancing behind her at the entrance back to the ballroom as if he were in search of an escape.

“I think you have said more than enough,” Jane spoke, finding her courage once more. “And I thank you for it.”

“I don’t think you should be thanking me,” Seth corrected her. “I participated in this as well which I feel very bad for, especially now.”

“This isn’t your fault,” she told him. In fact, she truly meant it. Seth was just a bystander who was told to keep quiet about all this. After all, if her best friend told her the same, she would probably do it. She could not blame him for anything. “This is all Leo’s fault.”

“You should speak to him,” Seth urged. “Sort this out.”

“There is no sorting this out,” Jane snapped, feeling more betrayed than ever.

She could not believe that she fell for all this. Leo had been pretending all this time, and she was silly enough, stupid enough to believe that it was all true. She had given him her all, her entire self. She had come to see them together, growing old, having children, living the rest of their lives together. Now, she could see that it was all a mirage. It was something that was given to her as a nonexistent gift, and now, it was so cruelly taken away from her.

“Just talk to him,” Seth continued. “I’m certain that you will find a way through this.”

Jane seared him with her gaze. “Would you believe him after something like this? Would you trust a single thing he told you?”

Seth swallowed heavily. He hesitated to reply, and Jane knew exactly why. Because his reply would not be what he wanted to say. It would be the truth, and the truth hurt. It hurt like being thrown into the fiery pits of hell with flames licking every inch of one’s body. That was how she felt right now. Her skin burned in every place that he touched, that he kissed. It mourned the fact that she would never feel him there again, but more so, her entire being mourned the fact that her married life was a lie. Such a beautiful lie, but a lie, nonetheless.

“See?” Jane urged. “I know he is your best friend, but even you cannot defend him on this one.”

Seth looked down at his feet. He was reluctant to reply. Jane knew that she could not remain here a single moment longer. She would excuse herself with the hosts and take Leo’s carriage to her own estate. Leo would need to find his own way of getting home, although with Seth around, she was certain that would not be a problem.

At that moment, she heard footsteps from somewhere behind her. Leo appeared to her right, offering her a glass of water.

“I’m sorry, I got caught up with Willoughby,” Leo explained, sounding more charming than ever. But Jane could easily see past that charm. It was all on the surface while inside, Leo was a rotter. That was the only way she could explain what he had done to her, how he had made her believe that he loved her while in fact, it was all so he could take revenge on her father. The thought made her both mad as well as miserable. But she would not cry in front of him. She would rather die than allow herself that.

He waited for her to take the glass from his hand, but upon seeing she did no such thing, his facial expression changed. “Do you feel unwell, darling? Do you wish us to go home?”

“I am not going anywhere with you,” she snarled at him, feeling as if she could claw his eyes out. She was hurt beyond belief, and she wanted to make the pain go away, but she knew it would not. No matter what she did.

“Jane?” Leo echoed her name so tenderly that it tugged at the very strings of her heart. “What has gotten into you?”

For a moment, she considered telling him that she knew everything, but she decided against it. Let him wallow in concern some more. He would find out eventually. No need to rush.

“I shall spend the night at my estate,” she informed him indignantly, raising her chin at him. “I am taking the carriage. You may find your own way back to your home.”

With those words, she passed by him, rushing for the door back to the ballroom. She could hear him call out to her, but she didn’t look back. Neither did she stop. She couldn’t.

She could feel her eyes filling up with tears. She tried to blink them away, but it was impossible, so she quickly wiped them away with the sleeve of her gown. She mumbled a few apologies to the hosts, resorting to a dreadful headache but assuring them that her husband would be staying to honor their ball. She bid them goodnight and elbowed her way through the crowd towards her carriage.

As soon as she slammed the door shut, she started sobbing violently, finally allowing grief and anger to take over. There was nothing else she could do right now but let the tears flow down her face, hopefully taking away all the pain with them. Only, pain never left that easily. Pain was difficult to get rid of. It followed you wherever you went, especially when it was caused by the very same person who occupied your entire heart.

Jane knew that there would be nowhere she could run and hide because everywhere she went, she would be taking Leo with her. He was in her heart. It belonged to him. All of it. And she would never be able to get it back.