Chapter 38

CHAPTER 38

“ T his is going to be awful,” Lavinia moaned.

“It’s going to be fine,” Edwina soothed her. “You’re meeting the dowager duchess, not the queen.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Lavinia said. “You’re wonderful at getting people to like you. I’m terrible at it.”

“I don’t think you’re as bad at that as you think you are,” Edwina objected. “You got the duke to like you, didn’t you? More than like you. You got him to fall in love with you. And that’s to say nothing of poor Lord Hennington!”

“But I told you,” Lavinia said. “I wasn’t trying to persuade either of those gentlemen to admire me, and I still don’t know how it happened. I couldn’t have done it on purpose. Now I have to convince the dowager duchess that she ought to like me—that I’m worthy of her only son. And I have no idea how to do that.”

“I’ll be right beside you the whole time,” her sister assured her. “Does that help?”

“It does and it doesn’t,” Lavinia said. “You know I always feel better in your company—but you also know how difficult it is for me to make a good impression when you’re around, Edwina. You are effortlessly charming in a way I never will be.”

“You charmed the duke without effort,” her sister reminded her. “Perhaps it will be the same with his mother. Trust yourself, Lavinia. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re more charming than you think you are.”

Lavinia smiled. “I’m glad I have you with me, even if I do worry about you outshining me,” she told her sister. “You always know what to say to make me feel more at ease.”

Their carriage arrived at Loxburgh Manor. “Just think,” Edwina said, looking admiringly up at the big estate. “This will be your home soon.”

“It’s hard to imagine,’ Lavinia admitted.

“Are you nervous about marrying the duke?”

“No. Being married to Seth is the one thing in all of this that doesn’t make me feel nervous,” she said. “I’m completely at ease with him.”

“I’m so glad you’ve found yourself with a gentleman who makes you feel that way!” Edwina enthused. “I knew it would happen for you, Lavinia. I just knew it.”

“And what about you?” Lavinia asked her sister as they walked up the path to the front door. “You mentioned that you had met someone you liked at the house party at Harbeck Manor, but we’ve all been so focused on me lately that I haven’t heard you say anything more about him. Did you make any arrangements to see that gentleman again?”

“I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of each other.”

“Are you being vague on purpose?”

“I’m not going to let you get away with changing the subject right now, that’s all,” Edwina said. “Today is about you, and we should remain focused on that. Your future. We can talk about me another time.”

“Very well,” Lavinia said. “But don’t think I’ll forget! I want to hear about this gentleman.”

“And I’m sure you shall.” Edwina reached up and knocked at the door, putting an end to their conversation.

A footman answered her knock and showed the two of them into the sitting room. Lavinia received an unpleasant surprise. She’d hoped that Seth would be there along with his mother, but the dowager duchess was alone, and she fixed Lavinia with a penetrating stare that told her she was unafraid to disapprove of her son’s choice.

“So,” she said. “Lady Lavinia. Here you are.”

“Yes, Your Grace,” Lavinia said. “Thank you so much for having me here today.”

“I suppose you must be very proud of yourself.”

“Proud, Your Grace?”

“Everyone knows my son was hesitant to marry,” the dowager explained. “Somehow, you managed to persuade him to change his mind. When no one else could talk him into it, you were able to do so.”

“I assure you, Your Grace, I never had any intention of talking him into anything,” Lavinia said. “I care for him very deeply, and I imagine he could tell that I felt that way. That’s all it is.”

“I’ve heard a great deal about you from my friends,” the dowager said with a frown. “Everyone talks about what an odd young lady you are. Everyone says you don’t quite know how to conduct yourself in public. What do you say to that?”

“It’s never been my greatest skill,” Lavinia agreed.

“If you’re to be a duchess, it’s a skill you’ll need to have,” the dowager lectured her sternly. “It may have been all right for you to say to yourself in your life thus far that conducting yourself in public simply wasn’t something you were very good at, but if you marry my son, that will be very different.

“You will have to be good at it. You’ll have to know how to make a good impression on the people around you, and you’ll have to know how to convince people to like and respect you. If you can’t do those things, I’m afraid you won’t make a very good duchess. What do you say to that?”

“Well…” Lavinia faltered for a moment. “I’ve spent a fair bit of time with your son,” she said after a moment. “I think I’ve done a good job absorbing the lessons he has given me.”

“Lessons?”

“Well, not lessons as such,” Lavinia amended quickly. She could hardly express to the dowager duchess that she had been meeting Seth in secret, after all. “But he’s helped me to see things I can do—little ways I can alter my conduct in public so that I’ll fit in more easily with the ton .”

“That’s not the kind of thing a lady can learn in the course of a few weeks or months,” the dowager sniffed. “It takes a lifetime. I don’t mean to blame you for the way you are, Lady Lavinia, but you haven’t had a mother to guide you.”

“We may not have had our mother, but we’ve had a perfectly good upbringing all the same,” Edwina said rather hotly.

The dowager glanced at her and then returned her attention to Lavinia. “I’m sure you’re a sweet young lady, Lady Lavinia, and it’s clear that my son has been charmed by you. But all the same, I have to think about what’s best for the dukedom. I have to think about who our new duchess is going to be. My son, for all his virtues, has no experience at making a choice like that.”

“And you think he’s chosen poorly,” Lavinia realized.

“I think he’s made his choice too quickly. He’s followed his heart instead of being sensible, and I can’t bring myself to accept that it’s the right thing for the dukedom or his father’s legacy.”

“I suppose I’ll just have to convince you,” Lavinia murmured.

“My sister will make a wonderful duchess,” Edwina said firmly.

The dowager frowned. “I admire your loyalty to your sister, of course,” she assured Edwina. “But that doesn’t mean it can’t be misplaced.”

“Your doubt may also be misplaced,” Lavinia said. “I might surprise you.”

“Well, I certainly hope you do.”

“We thought the duke was going to be here today,” Edwina said. “Isn’t he coming?”

“Edwina,” Lavinia admonished, but secretly she was grateful to her sister for asking the question—she wouldn’t have felt able to question the dowager duchess so directly while she was trying to make sure she appeared polite and perfectly behaved.

She had never in her life been more mindful of her hands, trying to make sure she didn’t fidget at all even though she was unbearably nervous. She couldn’t afford to be anything less than perfect today.

“As it happens, you’re right,” a voice from the doorway spoke up, and Lavinia’s heart leapt. She would have known that voice anywhere—it was Seth.

Her instinct was to jump to her feet, run across the room, and throw herself into his arms, but she knew she couldn’t. This was another chance to show the dowager how well behaved she could be. Instead of giving in to her desires, she rose and offered a demure but genuine smile. “Your Grace. I’m so glad to see you.”

It felt funny to return to addressing him formally after they had spoken more intimately to one another, but she didn’t want the dowager to think she was too improper.

But Seth laughed. “I’ve told you to call me by my name, Lavinia,” he said. “We’re going to be married, after all.”

Lavinia couldn’t help returning his smile. It was the same thing that always seemed to happen when Seth was around—it made her feel alive in ways she almost never did. But things had changed between them too. Where once she had felt almost paralyzed with nerves in his presence, now she felt relaxed and happy. It was much easier to be with the dowager now that Seth was here.

Seth came over and sat down beside her. “What have you three ladies been discussing?” he asked, smiling over at Edwina. “I hope I haven’t missed much—I’m sorry I kept you waiting.”

“It was no trouble,” Lavinia assured him.

“It was a little bit of trouble,” Edwina countered. “Did you know that your mother doesn’t think you ought to marry Lavinia?”

“Edwina,” Lavinia reprimanded. “That isn’t right, Seth. That’s not what your mother said. She’s rightfully concerned about the dukedom and my future place in it and asked for reassurance that I would be willing to learn from her how to be the best duchess possible. That’s all.”

It wasn’t the truth, and she could tell by the skeptical expression on Seth’s face that he didn’t quite believe it. But, for once, Lavinia felt that she knew what she was doing.

She wanted to show the dowager that she knew how to smooth over a situation. But even more than that, she wanted the dowager to see that she, Lavinia, was not going to be a source of conflict. Let the dowager choose to create a conflict if she was determined to do so, but Lavinia would not contribute to that.

“I’m sure you’ll be a remarkable duchess,” Seth said. “After all, I knew from the moment we met how unafraid you were to assert yourself, Lavinia, and that’s a quality a duchess must have.”

“What do you mean?” the dowager asked, looking from one of them to the other. “I don’t think you ever told me how the two of you met, Seth. What happened?”

Seth and Lavinia glanced at one another. That was one tale Lavinia knew she would never tell—the story of how she’d dragged Seth into a bush. It would be up to Seth whether or not he wanted to share that one with his mother.

He laughed, and Lavinia found herself laughing right along with him.

His mother looked back and forth between them again. “Well, I still don’t know how I feel about all this,” she said. “But it’s clear that there’s something between you two—something I myself wouldn’t have known to search for. Very well. I approve of this marriage. I don’t know if I think a marriage based on love is something that can truly succeed or not, but I can see one thing—you care for one another. You clearly share a bond, and I won’t be the person to try to separate my son from someone who means so much to him.”

“Thank you, Mother,” Seth said.

“Don’t thank me. You would have done as you wished regardless of my approval.”

“I would,” Seth said. “But I’m happy to have it all the same, and I’m sure Lavinia is as well.”

“I am,” Lavinia agreed fervently. “I promise not to disappoint you, Your Grace.”

Seth reached out and took Lavinia’s hand, and Lavinia felt full of an unshakeable confidence—a feeling she knew that he had helped her discover.