Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

T he punch landed on Seth’s jaw and sent him sprawling. He looked up to see the Earl of Newford, Lady Lavinia’s elder brother, standing over him looking positively furious.

“Get up,” the earl stormed. “Up, you coward, and face me like a man!”

Seth got to his feet, holding up his hands to try to ward off another blow, but that didn’t stop the earl. He swung at Seth again. This time, Seth managed to dodge out of the way just in time. “Stop!” he commanded.

Lady Lavinia jumped between the two of them. “Matthew, stop it!” she said. “What are you doing?”

“You’re engaged to be married! What are you doing?”

“I’m not engaged,” Lady Lavinia said. “Lord Hennington has proposed, that’s all. There’s no agreement. Not yet.”

“And you think that makes it all right? Do you think he’ll still wish to marry you when he hears about this?”

“Why would he hear about it?” Lady Lavinia asked her brother. “Surely you’re not going to tell anybody—are you?”

“No, of course I’m not, but—you can’t expect me to allow this rake to get away with taking advantage of my sister in a dark corner of the garden!”

“He didn’t take advantage of me at all,” Lady Lavinia said. “I asked him to kiss me.”

Her brother stared at her. “You asked him to kiss you?”

“That’s right.”

“Lavinia, don’t you understand what could happen if you were seen? You’re lucky it was me who happened upon the two of you. If it had been anyone else out here, they would have run to tell father, and Lord Hennington would certainly have heard about it by morning.” He sighed.

“I don’t understand you. I really don’t. You’ve spent all this time bemoaning the fact that Father is going to force you into a marriage you don’t want, and tonight you receive a proposal from someone you can’t possibly have anything to complain about. Don’t you want to marry Lord Hennington?”

“I want to find love, Matthew!” Lady Lavinia cried. “I’ve told you that! How many times have I told you that?”

“And Lord Hennington?—”

“I don’t love Lord Hennington. I wish I did. Goodness knows that would be simpler. But I don’t.”

“Haven’t I told you that these things take time? You aren’t going to feel the same way about a person for your whole life.”

“I don’t know how you can claim to know that,” Lady Lavinia said. “You’ve never been in love, Matthew. But even if you’re right…you don’t understand. I don’t feel the seeds of something that might one day grow into love. I feel nothing . I can’t marry someone who leaves me feeling this empty. I respect Lord Hennington, but I don’t love him.”

“And so—what? Do you love the Duke of Loxburgh?”

Lady Lavinia looked at her feet and didn’t answer.

Lord Newford looked at Seth. “Is there something between you and my sister? Something beyond this kiss? Are you in love with her?”

“It was only a kiss,” Seth said in a low voice. “A kiss that she requested.”

“And do you go around kissing young ladies all the time?”

“It isn’t any of your business what I do.”

“It is when my sister becomes involved. If you don’t want me to give you the beating I think you so richly deserve, you’ll have to extend her an offer of marriage.”

Seth’s stomach dropped. This was exactly what he had feared—that being caught in a compromising position would force him into a marriage he didn’t want.

And yet…why did he feel a sense of relief? It was almost as if there was a part of him, deep down, that wanted to give in to the idea of a marriage.

He had resisted it with everything he had in him, but Lord Newford had the upper hand on him now, and although the choice had not been taken away from Seth—did Lord Newford truly imagine he was afraid of a beating?—he could give in to Lady Lavinia’s older brother’s demands. Maybe he could just say yes, in spite of what he believed would be the sensible thing to do.

And maybe it would be a good thing to stop worrying about the outcome and simply give in to what was going to make him happy.

That was the first time he had ever thought of marriage in those terms. Would it really make him happy ?

It was hard to imagine that it would, and yet, looking at Lady Lavinia, he felt more confident than he ever had before.

He could marry her.

Lord Newford would force his hand—but he would do it. Not because he feared being beaten, but because, if he was truly honest with himself, it was what he wanted. Finally, he could stop wrestling with himself. He could stop asking himself whether he was making the right decision. He could pretend that the choice had been taken out of his hands.

“Stop it, Matthew,” Lady Lavinia snapped. “I’m not going to marry him.”

Both men looked at her.

“Lord Hennington has already proposed,” Lady Lavinia said. “This attempt to save me from scandal is seriously misguided.”

“You don’t appear to have any particular interest in saving yourself from scandal,” her brother snapped.

“You’re reacting out of a desire to protect me. I understand that. I respect it. But, Matthew, there is no scandal. All right, so perhaps I shouldn’t have kissed him?—”

“You certainly shouldn’t have.”

“All right. That’s fine. But I did, and nothing bad happened. That doesn’t mean we need to marry.”

“You can’t simply sweep this under the rug as if it’s nothing!” Lord Newford insisted. “You both seem determined to act as if what you’ve done out here doesn’t matter. As if it means nothing. It does. I ought to give you a beating regardless of what you and my sister say about it, Your Grace. I don’t care if you are a duke.”

“Do so, if you feel you must,” Seth said. “It won’t change anything. You heard what the lady said. She doesn’t wish to marry me.”

He didn’t know what to make of the fact that Lady Lavinia had said that. She’d promised that she would walk away from him if the kiss convinced her that there was nothing between them, and Seth had intended to give her a dull, empty kiss to convince her of that. But the moment he’d held her in his arms, he had realized he was unable to hold back.

He wanted to do the right thing, to kiss her in a way that would persuade her that it was best to give Lord Hennington all of her attention—but he hadn’t been able to do it.

And yet, somehow, she had been persuaded. She wasn’t even looking at him. She was insisting to her brother that she had no desire to marry him, that Lord Hennington was the person she wanted.

What had changed?

He didn’t know. He didn’t know what to think. All he knew was that something was different. Somehow, she had been convinced.

And rather than feeling glad about it, Seth felt something eerily close to heartbreak.

“Lavinia,” Lord Newford said, “I don’t know what this has all been about, but you need to think about what you’re doing. You know that Lord Hennington is going to propose. Now, you said yourself that his proposal is not yet final. You seem to think that gives you the right to do whatever you want in the meantime, but you are so close to having everything you wanted, and you’re going to ruin it if you continue to behave like this.

“You must know that if Lord Hennington were to discover what had happened out here tonight, he would withdraw his offer. And you’re right that I’m not going to tell him—but you’re still being far too reckless. You don’t know what could happen. You might be caught by someone else if you keep this up.”

“This was the last time,” Lady Lavinia said.

Her brother raised his eyebrows. “The last time?”

“The only time,” she amended.

“You’re not going to do anything like this again?”

“No, I’m not.”

“I don’t mean to reprimand you, Lavinia, truly. It’s just that I want you to be happy, and I worry for you. I worry that you’re not taking things seriously. You want to marry. I know you do. You want to be married to someone who’s going to treat you well.”

“And that’s what’s going to happen, Matthew. I’m going to marry Lord Hennington.”

“Then why kiss the duke?”

She looked away. “I don’t have an answer for you.”

“You can’t do things like this without even knowing what your reason is for doing them.”

But she hadn’t said she didn’t know what her reason was, Seth thought. She’d only said that she didn’t have an answer to give to her brother. He had a feeling that Lady Lavinia knew exactly what she was doing, even if her motivations were currently lost on him.

Suddenly she was so eager to marry Lord Hennington.

She must have learned something from that kiss, gleaned some information. But what?

“This is the deal I’m willing to make,” Lord Newford said. “As long as Lord Hennington comes through with his proposal, I’ll look the other way on this. We can pretend it never happened—that I never saw it. Everyone makes mistakes, and I certainly don’t want my sister’s reputation tarnished. But if Lord Hennington doesn’t propose—for whatever reason—then you must do so, Your Grace.”

“I already told you that I don’t want to marry him,” Lady Lavinia insisted.

“And that’s all well and good while you have another choice. But if he withdraws his offer, you’ll find yourself without an engagement, and then what are you going to do? This is a good opportunity to make a backup arrangement. If Lord Hennington doesn’t propose, the duke must do so.”

“There’s no way you can force him to, Matthew, and no way you can force me to accept.”

“Father will accept on your behalf. Eventually you’ll come to realize it’s the right thing,” her brother told her. “And as for you, Your Grace?—”

“She’s right,” Seth said. “You can’t force me into a marriage. I would do it to preserve her dignity, but if she doesn’t even want it, I see no reason to go along with this charade.”

“I’ll be on you like a hound for the rest of your days,” Lord Newford swore. “You will always be looking over your shoulder for me.”

Seth sighed. He supposed it was meant to be intimidating, but the truth was that the only thing he could manage to feel right now was sadness. He hadn’t intended for anything that had happened between Lady Lavinia and himself to go the way it had, and now he felt as if something good—something wonderful—had abruptly come to an end.

He ought to be happy that she was able to say that she didn’t want to marry him. He knew that. He didn’t want to marry her , so what good could it do anyone if she wanted to marry him? Why did it feel so upsetting to know that it was no longer something she wanted?

He couldn’t explain it, and he knew that he needed to reject those feelings. He had advised her to move on, and he needed to do the same thing.

He turned and left the garden, walking back up toward the manor, determined not to allow himself to be drawn into any further interactions with Lady Lavinia. Things had already gone much further than he ever should have permitted them to, but from now on, he would be more sensible. He would leave her be.