Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

I n the dead of night, Lavinia slipped out of her bedroom and down the hall.

She moved slowly, in darkness, not even daring to bring a candle to light her way. She was deathly afraid of being caught, and her heart pounded madly in her chest. Yet even as she trembled, it occurred to her that she wasn’t so afraid that she’d chosen to stay in her room.

Nothing but her own curiosity was compelling Lavinia to meet with the duke tonight—well, that and her desire to see him again. And the fact that they were going to be alone together tonight—truly alone, without fear of anyone interrupting them—it was a powerful thing to realize. It took a bit of the nervousness from her body and made her hurry a bit faster to meet him.

The clock struck one as she reached the library. She took a deep breath, pushed open the door, and went inside.

He was already there, facing away from her toward one of the bookshelves, and he didn’t turn when she entered the room. “Good evening,” he said quietly.

“Good evening, Your Grace.”

“I’m glad you decided to come.”

“Well, you made it seem important,” she said. “I confess, my curiosity is piqued.”

Now he turned to face her. “The gown,” he said, gesturing to it. “Do you like it?”

“I do.” It felt strange to still be dressed for the day in the middle of the night, but she had stood pondering what she would do for a long time and had ultimately decided that she had to wear it. Meeting with the duke in the dead of night was strange enough—she couldn’t bring herself to go to that meeting in her nightgown.

“I’m glad you like it,” he said. “But you do seem a bit uncomfortable in it.”

“Do I?” she asked, frowning. “I apologize, Your Grace—I didn’t mean to give you the idea that I didn’t like the gown. I’m very grateful to you.” Was this why he had wanted to see her? Was he angry with her? Did he feel she hadn’t shown enough appreciation?

But he shook his head. “No, there’s nothing to apologize for,” he assured her. “I believe you when you tell me you like the gown. It’s just that…” He trailed off.

“It's just that what?”

“Lady Lavinia, do you wish for my help?”

“Your help?”

“You want to find yourself a match. A match based on love. Isn’t that accurate?”

“Yes, that’s true,” she agreed. “That’s what I want most of all.”

“And if I believe I can help make that happen for you, is that something you want? Do you want me to help you?”

“I would welcome any help.” Lavinia wasn’t too proud to accept help from him—not anymore. She was well aware of the fact that she had already taken plenty of his help, and that it would be hypocritical in the extreme to start acting as if she was too good to accept it now. Besides, she did need it. “But, Your Grace, I’m not sure what you can do about it. You’ve already done so much for me, and believe me, I am very grateful. But apart from wearing these gowns…”

“You need to learn to wear them well ,” he said. “And you need to carry yourself in a way that’s going to attract the attention and the admiration of gentlemen. You don’t do that now.”

It was blunt, but there was no cruelty in it. She could see that. He hadn’t said it to hurt her. He was trying to be helpful.

Lavinia was used to harsh comments from her father—comments that weren’t meant to cause pain, only to mold her into the person he wanted her to be. The difference was that she had no interest in becoming the person her father wanted her to be. But if she cooperated with the duke, if she listened to him…well, maybe it would be to her benefit.

“All right,” she agreed. “I’m willing to learn. Tell me what I need to do.”

The duke looked around. It seemed as if he was trying to make up his mind. “Sit over there,” he said eventually, placing a hand on the center of her back to steer her in that direction.

Lavinia shivered a little. It felt as if her skin had heated up beneath her gown where he had touched her. Had he intended that? Was he even aware of it?

No, he couldn’t be. He had been directing her which way to go, that was all. She sat in the chair he had indicated.

The duke shook his head. “You can’t just drop into the chair like a pile of rocks,” he said. “You have to move with elegance. Stand up.”

Lavinia stood.

He frowned. “You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what? I’m not doing anything.”

“You’re fidgeting. Pulling at your gown. Why do you do that?”

“Oh.” She had been, she realized. “Well, it moved out of place when I sat and stood. I was adjusting it so that I would be comfortable again, that’s all.”

“You can’t do that,” he said. “Put your hands down.”

“So I should just stand with my gown twisted?”

“Where is it out of place? Show me.”

She gestured to the side. “The skirt is turned a bit. This part should face forward—I can feel the fabric bunching.”

“Give a little shimmy and it should settle back into place just fine.”

Lavinia frowned and shook herself.

“Not like that . Your movements ought to be small and subtle,” he said. “Try it again.”

Lavinia focused on his advice and twisted at the waist very slightly. She looked back at the duke for approval.

“That was better,” he said. “And you need to learn to relax and focus on what’s going on around you, not to fixate on things like this. Nobody else is paying such detailed attention to your clothing, and you don’t need to either. Fidgeting like that is a clear way of telling everyone around you how uncertain you are of yourself, because you’re too focused on your own body. Now take a seat—and this time, don’t just fall into the chair as if you’ve been deboned. Sit slowly. Delicately.”

It was the kind of criticism Lavinia could have imagined her father giving her, and a part of her felt a desire to shoot back at him with some sort of angry comment. But at the end of the day, she knew he was right. Things like this were the reason she was looked at oddly. Things like this were the reason she probably wouldn’t find a husband she liked—unless something changed. Unless she changed.

He was helping her, and he didn’t have to do that. If she was ungrateful towards him, he would probably stop.

She sank slowly into the chair. “Was that better?” she asked, looking up at him.

“Yes. That was very ladylike,” he said. “You had that in you all this time?”

“Was it really that different?”

“Very different. Would you like me to show you the difference?”

“No,” Lavinia said. “That won’t be necessary.” The idea of watching him mimic her was taking things too far.

“Very well.” He sat down in the chair across from hers. “Now, I ought to have had some tea sent up so that we could practice drinking it together, but of course, there would have been no way to do that without revealing that two people were meeting in the library tonight, and we don’t want anyone to know—not even the servants.”

“No,” Lavinia snorted. “That wouldn’t be seen as very ladylike at all.”

“Don’t snort . My goodness. Laugh like a lady, if you must. Quietly.”

“You can show me the difference there, if you’d like to,” she challenged him, wondering if she might persuade him into giving a ladylike laugh. It would be entertaining.

The duke rolled his eyes. “I know you’ve heard ladies laugh before. You don’t need me to show you how that’s done. If you find it so confusing, ask your sister to show you. She has it mastered. Honestly, I don’t know how she learned all these things and you learned none of them.”

Lavinia felt the smile drop off her face. “And is that why you brought me here tonight?” she asked. “You wanted to know why my sister is more charming than I am? Perhaps you thought that was something you could teach me? That I might not have heard it before?”

“There’s no reason to get angry,” the duke said, raising his eyebrows.

Lavinia rose to her feet slowly, careful to keep her movements as ladylike as possible. She didn’t want to show him any carelessness while she was feeling so upset. “For your information,” she said, “my sister was raised with governesses.”

“And you weren’t?”

“They were meant to be for both of us, but of course they paid all their attention to her. Why wouldn’t they? She was the pretty one, after all.”

His lips pressed together in a narrow line. He said nothing, but Lavinia had the impression that something she had said had angered him.

“And your father didn’t say anything about that? He never tried to remind them that they had been hired to attend to both of you? Didn’t he know what was happening?”

“He knew,” Lavinia said. “And the answer to your question is that he didn’t care. He had no interest in making sure we were treated equally. I don’t think anyone ever tried to keep it a secret from him that Edwina was the one with a future, with prospects. I believe they told him outright that the sensible thing to do would be to focus all efforts on her, and I think after hearing that, he agreed.

“Our governesses paid the barest amount of attention possible to me. I wasn’t taught what to do at a ball. I wasn’t taught how to charm a gentleman. So it isn’t my fault that I’m not blessed with my sister’s charms. She was instructed in how to be charming. I wasn’t.”

“I see,” the duke said.

“What are you looking at me that way?” Lavinia demanded.

“You’re a bit more spirited than I’d realized,” the duke explained.

“I suppose that isn’t very ladylike either.”

“It isn’t, actually,” he agreed. “But it is interesting. That’s an attribute you might be able to use to interest a man.”

“You’re saying I should tell gentlemen what’s really on my mind at all times?”

He laughed. “Perhaps not at all times,” he said. “I would say there is a time and a place for it. But it’s a matter of knowing when you should behave that way and when you shouldn’t, to be sure.”

“And next you’ll tell me that this was a time I shouldn’t have done it. Is that right?”

“On the contrary,” the duke said. “I thought it was brave of you to speak up as you did, even though I am a duke. Many ladies would have been frightened to speak to me that way. Perhaps most ladies. They would have nodded and said yes, Your Grace and never bothered to let me know that my assumptions about them were wrong. And I see that my assumptions were wrong, Lady Lavinia. It’s not through any fault of yours or any flaw in your character that you don’t know how to conduct yourself. You simply weren’t given proper opportunities to learn.”

Lavinia blushed. It wasn’t exactly a compliment, and she couldn’t take it as such. Still, it was the closest she had ever come to having someone tell her that there was nothing wrong with the way she was, and it was a good thing to hear.

“It’s easily remedied, then,” the duke said. “You don’t need to be changed . You simply need to be taught. And you’re a clever lady, I can tell that about you already. I believe you’ll learn quickly.”

“Then—then you believe there’s a chance I’ll become the right sort of person by the time this party ends?” she asked. “We only have nine more days, after all. Can I really hope to meet someone and fall in love by then? Is it really possible to change so much in such a short time?”

“Anything is possible,” the duke said. “And yes, I believe you can do it. But it won’t all happen tonight. Give me tomorrow to make a plan for you, and meet me back here tomorrow night at the same time. Then we’ll begin to make the changes you need to make and transform you into the sort of lady who might have a chance at finding herself a match over the next few days.”