16

"BARGAINING WITH A SHADOW being isn't wise, but agreeing to the terms of a human is the most moronic thing I've done." Rook's voice is loud, as though it echoes in my head rather in this space. "It makes his risky behavior seem less stupid."

It's dark around me. It's like I'm floating in the night sky, but I'm not in outer space. There are no stars to light the way, or a moon to illuminate where I am.

Across from me is Rook, the shadow creature. Atlas is nowhere to be found. "Where am I?"

"This is the space between dreams and nightmares. Don't worry about Atlas. You'll be with him soon enough."

"Why am I here?"

"I wanted to speak with you personally. I've visited Atlas in his dreams before. I thought it was time I paid you a visit, too."

I cross my arms. "What do you want with me?"

He floats around in an orbit, circling me like a vulture. His gaze, or what I assume is his gaze, trails from my feet, up my body, resting on my eyes. "I'd hate to see you suffer. So I'm offering you a chance to escape. I could let you out now. It would be simple enough. Atlas can figure this out on his own."

"Why would you do that?" I can't believe it would be out of the kindness in his heart. I don't even know if these shadow creatures have hearts. His glowing orbs for eyes linger on me as he circles again slowly.

"Because, my sweet Ophelia," his voice whispers over my shoulder, his breath fanning my ear. A shiver rushes down my spine. Everything about him feels familiar, yet foreign at the same time. "You don't deserve what's coming to you. Atlas is dragging you down."

The thoughts swirl in my mind, his words playing to something inside of me. I shake my head, willing my own fears away.

Atlas chose to come see me after five years when the butterflies were in his room. And as if that weren't significant enough, sharing a dream seems like something I should pay attention to.

"I'm not going to leave," I tell Rook.

The shadow creature shakes his head, stopping his orbit in front of me. "Are you certain you want to help someone who has broken your heart countless times? What is there to gain? I'm giving you the opportunity to leave, to keep your soul intact."

The offer is tempting, for sure, but I think about Atlas, alone and fearful. I think about never seeing him again if he fails. He would die. And despite every terrible thing he's done to me, I don't want to see him suffer pain at the hands of this demon.

"I will fight by his side," I say firmly, my hands clenching into fists. My voice is full of false conviction. Atlas doesn't deserve for me to stay, but I'm not giving up before the game has begun. "I'm not abandoning him." I'm not sure why I'm defensive. But I won't abandon him to this nightmare. I refuse to. "Whatever test you're putting me through by doing this, you can end it. Send me to the nightmare."

Rook seems disappointed by my answer. I can't gather the ability to care. He stays in front of me for a long while, his gaze searing through my skin. One of his shadows reaches out, brushing my arm, then my cheek. It's warm, as though his hand has caressed my face in an act of reverence.

"So be it," he says softly, with an edge of bitterness. And then all goes dark again as I'm sent into a void, where all light and sound cease to exist.

My eyes flutter open. My back aches against something hard. It's not very bright out; the sky looks like it might rain. I roll over to my side, finding that I'm not alone.

Atlas is asleep beside me, though there are a few feet of space between us. I sit up, staring at him for a moment, wondering how long he's been asleep. Wondering if he knows where I've been. I rise to my feet, though the ground rocks back and forth. It takes me a minute to gather my bearings.

We're on a boat. I glance around, trying to make out where we are. The deck is wooden, like in the fantasy books. The more I glance around, the less tied to reality I feel. From the looks of it, this is a pirate ship.

Atlas moans from behind me, so I turn to see him sitting up, rubbing his eyes.

"What…" He looks around, coming to his senses faster than I did.

"What the hell? Where are we?" He's on his feet, rushing to the side of the boat, looking around.

"I would assume this is the nightmare."

"We need to wake up."

I cross my arms. "Oh, really? Why didn't I think of that? We woke up here, inside the dream. Tell me, have you ever woken up inside a dream?"

He turns, one hand still gripping the railing. "No," he says coolly. "We made a deal with the devil."

"So getting out of here means something more than just waking up. Rook said that much. We have to figure out the way to escape."

Atlas looks out to the water. His face pales, though his eyes harden as he glances at the ocean all around us.

I consider telling him what Rook offered me. The wind brushes against my hair, reminding me of all Rook said, of the way his shadows were warm against my skin.

My stomach churns as I watch Atlas; his face is taking on a green pallor. I know it's not sea-sickness, but rather the trauma that comes with losing someone to the water.

But I can't think about that now.

Rook's offer echoes again in my mind, this time faint. I wouldn't choose to make deals with the devil. Atlas deserves to know what happened. He's been honest with me until this point.

I shake my head, deciding against it.

Besides, if he knows Rook kept me in a space between nightmares, offering me a way out… If I choose to fight by his side here, in this realm, he might think I've forgiven him.

I haven't even thought about forgiveness. If I'm honest, I don't know why I chose to stay here. I could be safe at home. I could be with my father.

But I know deep down, I'd be scared for Atlas, no matter how much he hurt me. I still care about him.

Which is why I'm here. It's why I'm concerned about him and his affinity with water. I know he hates being surrounded by it.

After the accident, I knew the water was his greatest fear. I knew he never went swimming again after what happened; summer came and he stopped showing up at the community pool. He'd been there almost every day, every summer before that, since he'd moved to town.

"Stop analyzing me," he says briskly. "Analyze the scenery. Help me figure out how to get the hell out of here."

"You're afraid to be known," I tell him, ignoring his directions. "Afraid that every rotten emotion you've kept inside will no longer be buried because you're stuck on a ship in the middle of the ocean with the one person who can read you like an open book even when you're a closed one."

Atlas grimaces, but I see his hands go from shaky to steady on the railing, fear giving way to anger. "Stop."

It's one word, but it's so forceful that I comply. I turn away without a word, finding the door that leads below deck.

Fine, I'll study the ship. I'll look for something that seems like a way out. I won't talk to Atlas on this terrible boat where we're stuck. For who knows how long.

The boat goes up and down, but because this is a dream, I adapt quickly. I half-expect Atlas to follow me down here. To mutter an apology that seems insincere, but that I know is actually genuine.

But he doesn't.

And I don't want him to.

I descend the stairs to the deck below, but all I find are crates. Some are empty; some seem to hold corn. No rooms. Nowhere to sleep.

"Great," I mutter.

I search behind the crates, but there's not much to see. It's a typical fairy tale pirate ship. Most likely intended to keep us together.

I sigh, climbing to sit on one of the crates.

This is going to be a long night.

ATLAS WANDERS BELOW DECK eventually and finds me sitting on the crate, where I've been for a while. His eyes are full of pain.

"Anything?" he asks, glancing around at the cargo.

"Not unless you want to eat a lot of corn, because that's all that's down here."

"How the hell do we get out of here?"

"I don't know. But lashing out at someone who chose to stand by you isn't the way."

"What are you talking about? What do you mean you chose to stand by me?"

I seal my mouth shut, sliding down to the floor and walking past him. "Never mind."

He grabs my wrist, gentle but firm. "Ophelia, what did you mean? Did Rook say something to you?"

He's too perceptive. He's always been able to know what's going on in my mind, even when I've said nothing at all. I sigh, ignoring the fluttering as Atlas's hand lets go of my wrist and slides into my hand.

"I was caught between being awake and the nightmare. Rook offered me a way out. Some sort of back door. He said if I entered the dream, there would be no going back. That you could take care of yourself. I chose to come here." I yank my hand away. "I'm wondering if I should've let you deal with this yourself since you seem to like being alone."

I march up the stairs to find that it is now raining.

Great.

Fantastic.

"Ophelia," Atlas calls from the doorway of the stairs. "Come back. Please."

His voice is desperate. I'm tempted. Especially with the icy rain now chilling me to the bone. But I'm not sure if being stuck in a cabin below deck with Atlas is what I want right now. Too many questions with no answers.

I'm lost in thought, ignoring his voice, when my feet slide on the slick deck. I struggle to find balance, but it's no use. The surface is too slippery from the rain. I'm falling to the deck, my feet swept out from under me.

Two strong arms catch me, pulling me back away from the railing and into the doorway. Atlas is panting, still holding me with my back to his chest, his heartbeat racing against me.

"Don't…do…that…again."

I look behind me, into his face, finding fear mixed with anger in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

I pull away from his arms, though I find myself not wanting to. Not yet. I turn to face Atlas. His eyes are full of pain.

"Stop looking at me like I'm broken," he mutters. "I already know there's no fixing this."

"Fixing what? Us? Or your fear of water?"

"All of it, Ophelia. I know it's all over. It's only a matter of time before this nightmare kills us. That's the point."

"It may be the point, but it doesn't have to be the ending. There's more than one possible outcome to all of this. We just have to figure out the right steps."

I reach out, place my hand on his heart. It hammers under my palm, still racing. "But first, you have to be calm."

"Calm?"

He pushes away from the wall, coming closer to me. His eyes linger on my lips, then meet my eyes again. At first, I'm wondering what he intends to do. But then he starts down the stairs. "Might as well make ourselves at home, then," he calls over his shoulder. "We're going to be here a while."

I exhale, unsure what all of that was. I glance out at the rain. There is a flash of lightning, and then a peal of thunder rumbles, shaking the ship. I follow Atlas down below.