19. John

CHAPTER 19

JOHN

We'd settled into a new routine that centered around work during the day, and exploring Portland at night. Greer and Austin had gone back to Costa Rica after the party for an extended honeymoon before the pre-season started. That meant we needed to pick up the loose ends for GQ.

It wasn't long after we'd turned over our intel on Clay Turner to GQ that the lawsuit had been dropped. Of course, we never told anyone about the more sensitive details of the mission. We chose to keep them to ourselves.

We started each morning crawling out of bed at the crack of dawn to run. Brent never wanted to go the same way twice, so we zigzagged our way across the city. We'd discovered multiple new routes around town that always ended at a local diner for breakfast. I wasn't going to complain because it was a great way for me to learn the lay of the land, and there was no time for me to cook.

Every night that we had an opportunity to stay in, Brent ended up on top of me on the sofa and the octopus games began.

Again I wasn't complaining. I'd smiled more in the last three weeks than I had in the last three years.

Longer summer days meant warmer nights for us to explore the city's nightlife. At the end of the day, we'd meet up somewhere like Alejandro's for a beer and a burger when our schedules had taken us in different directions. We'd sit at the bar and talk, always some part of our bodies touching as we talked to the bartenders and watched the game. Alejandro and Ben joined us sometimes, and it quickly reaffirmed that I'd made the right decision moving to Portland. Laura had been right. My happiness was here. I needed her to come visit or I could take Brent to San Diego.

So when Austin and Greer returned, I told GQ we were off the clock for the weekend.

"Look," I said, sitting across from him in the office. "We've covered everything for the last three weeks. I want to stay home, cook for my hu—homie, and watch some sports."

The fucker grinned at me. "So things are going well?"

I tried to suppress a smile. "They are going as well as could be expected."

"Glad to hear it. So coming here was the right decision. I knew it would be."

I rolled my eyes and stood from the chair. "I'm going home and find my roommate."

"Hey, one thing. Can you stop by the training center sometime this weekend and check on the progress? The last of the equipment should have been installed today, but give them another day. I'd go, but we're supposed to take Livie to the beach this weekend since training camp starts next week."

I nodded. "Sure. We can do that. Maybe we'll forgo a run to work out."

GQ nodded and waved me off. "Go start your weekend."

I wasn't going to argue with that.

On my way home, I called Brent. He didn't pick up the phone, so when I stopped at Safeway to grab some steaks and what I needed to make my homemade pasta sauce, I sent him a text.

Me: Getting groceries. I'll be home soon. ETA?

When he didn't respond, I pocketed my phone and headed into the store. Grabbing a cart, I made my way through the store, tossing in items I thought Brent would enjoy.

Twenty minutes later, I left with everything we needed for a luxurious weekend of seclusion in our condo. I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything outside the walls of our home. All I wanted was forty-eight uninterrupted hours to show him what life could be like. Lazy mornings in bed, sitting on the sofa watching baseball and pre-season football, kissing endlessly for hours.

When I got home, I walked up the stairs with my arms full of grocery bags. Before I could put them down, the door swung open to the most handsome man I'd ever seen. I knew the smile on my face was stupid, but that's what he did to me.

Every. Fucking. Time.

"Hey, I was coming down to help you. Is that everything?"

I was struck dumb as he stood there bare-chested and wearing athletic shorts. Brent was relaxed and looked at me the way I looked at him. Like if he touched me, he wouldn't be able to keep his hands to himself.

"Hey to you. This is it. I tried to call. Did you get my message?"

Brent nodded and took several bags out of my hand. "Just saw it. I was with Patrick and Phantom. Cole and Adam were having a jam session, so I stuck around for a bit."

"How's he doing?" I asked, unloading the bags onto the counter. "GQ wants me to train him as soon as he gets the all-clear from his doctors."

Brent snorted and pulled out two beers from the refrigerator. He popped the tops and handed me one. "You won't have to worry about him not being ready. Simon won't release him until he's fully recovered."

I stopped and looked at him. "Simon Kincaid?"

He nodded and leaned back against the counter."Yeah. He was the team doctor but works part-time as a private physician. When they got Parker, he pulled back because he wanted to be with Parker since his mom had just died."

He tipped his beer back and drank half of it, but averted his eyes from me. "They love both of those kids so much."

Brent looked up and smiled at me. "So what's for dinner? Looks like you bought out the store."

I put down the bag I was holding and walked over to him. Opening my arms, I pulled him in for a hug. He wrapped his around me and nestled his face into my neck. Holding him closer, we stood quietly, holding on to each other.

"You're a good man," I whispered into his hair. "No matter what anyone else thinks, who you are is enough. "

Brent pulled back and looked at me. I cupped his cheek and kissed his forehead.

"I'm not enough for them. Never have been."

"When you say them , I'm assuming you're talking about your parents."

He sighed. "Yeah. Ever since Matt got sick, things have never been the same. I don't blame them for giving all their attention to him. They were supposed to. I've just become invisible to them."

Brent was still holding on to me as I looked into his eyes. "I know that hurts you, but you're not the problem. No matter what, I'm here for you and you can tell me anything. I'll always be on your side. But I'm curious. Did your family get grief counseling?"

I felt the tension in his body begin to relax in my arms.

"For a while. But it didn't help in the long run. My parents became like pod people. I don't recognize them anymore."

I kissed his forehead and hugged him to me. "I want you to think about this. We cannot control how others think or how they feel. We can only control ourselves and how we process things. But here's what you're missing," I said, rubbing my hand over his back. "You share an unbreakable bond with your team. You can't go to war and live and survive without having it. Most people will never experience this in their lifetime. Those men are your family by choice. They choose you, and that choice makes your connection stronger than biology. You're enough for them, and enough for me. You always have been."

Brent squeezed me tightly, then stepped out of my arms. "What are we having for dinner? I'm starving."

I grinned at him, proud that he'd opened up, but he was ready to let the heavy go. "Steak and salad. And if you're good, you can have dessert."

"Oh yeah? And what would that be?"

I bit my bottom lip. "Me."

"What do you want for breakfast? I can whip up just about anything."

Brent came walking out of the bedroom with a towel around his hips. Rather than getting his own coffee, he reached for mine and took a drink. "Would you like me to make you a cup of coffee?"

"Nah, I just needed a taste of yours. And I think I need to replenish my protein level."

I grinned and pulled out a skillet from under the cabinet. "It's your fault."

"My fault? I didn't do anything."

He was such a cute liar. "Oh, you did. And you know it."

Brent smirked at me. "I'm going to get dressed."

He walked toward the bedroom, but stopped and turned. "Dare is coming by later to pick up the rest of his things. Otherwise, I'd stay naked all day."

"And you'd get fucked all day," I replied, going back to rummaging through the cabinet.

Brent's laughter filled me with a kind of joy I hadn't known in a long time. And every time I thought about how his parents could ignore him, made me incredibly angry. Every time he walked into the office, he brought smiles to everyone's faces. I don't understand how they couldn't see it.

Turning on the oven, I reached into the cabinet to get a cookie sheet to cook the bacon when Brent came walking into the kitchen and dumped his collection of sex toys in the kitchen sink.

I stared down at the menagerie of silicone toys with suction cup attachments, including the infamous unicorn horn, unsure of what to say. But he had words. He always had words.

"Quite a collection, huh? I've ordered a couple more."

Standing with his hands on his hips, he looked down at them in the sink. I knew he was waiting for me to say something.

"Why are they in the sink? We prepare our food in here."

He smirked up at me. "What's the big deal? You eat my ass and they've been in my ass. What's the difference?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "But why are they in here?"

"I'm gonna put them in the dishwasher. But we can't use the heated dry cycle. Could you imagine what a repair guy would say if he had to come fix the dishwasher because all my dildos melted down there? I bet GQ would just buy a new dishwasher."

Laughter bubbled up in me as I thought about what Dare would say. And then it occurred to me what he was doing.

"Wait. Are you really going to put them in the dishwasher, or are these out here just to get a rise out of Dare when he gets here?"

Okay. Bad choice of words.

"You're catching on! I am going to wash them, but then I'm going to suction all of them to the kitchen counter so he'll see them when he comes in. It's fun as hell watching him turn fifty shades of red and then yell at me. You know, like he did the last time he came home."

I threw my head back and laughed, then opened the dishwasher. "Here you go. Top rack only."