18. Brent

CHAPTER 18

brENT

When we left Bernardo's, I wasn't ready to call it a night. I needed something to clear my head, but I wasn't quite sure what to do.

The events of the last few days had left me feeling off balance. Seeing all my friends tonight with their men drove home the fact that I was the odd man out. Phantom had Adam, GQ had Dominick, and now Daredevil was married to Greer. While I was more than happy for them, it was becoming clear that my previous life plan to avoid intimate relationships might blow up in my face. All my avoidance was going to leave me lonely. And alone.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

I'd given up trying to stop John from using that term of endearment. He was going to do what he wanted to do and nothing would stop him. Not even me.

"Nothing," I said, looking out the window as we drove toward the condo.

John sighed. "You forget that I know you. You can't lie to me."

"You don't know me. You only know what I allow you to see."

There was something wrong with me. Three days in, and I was already pushing him away when I wanted to pull him closer. How could I go from an evening surrounded by my friends to feeling lost?

John reached over and placed his hand on my thigh. His warmth was a life preserver that I wanted to cling to in order to escape my cluttered mind. So instinct took over, and I placed my hand on top of his.

We rode the rest of the way in silence until he parked the car. When I reached for the door handle, John spoke.

"I can imagine how you're processing all that love and happiness back there. And I bet you're rolling everything around in your brain and it has you tied in knots."

Turning to look at him, I found that warm expression again that I was growing accustomed to. I felt myself letting him in. "What makes you think that?"

He smiled knowingly at me. "I can read you pretty easily, sweetheart, because we're more alike than you know."

John reached up and cupped my face. "I'm a good listener if you want to talk about it."

I laughed sardonically. "That's the last thing I want to do. I just want to get out of my head and stop thinking for once. Maybe I'll go run."

Shifting to get out of the car, he reached for my arm. I turned back to look at him. "I can help get you out of your head if you'd like."

I could see where this was going. But I couldn't take him being sweet to me like he'd been all week. "With your dick? I could be down for that."

He shrugged. "You like it when I'm in control."

I stared at him for a long moment. "What do I have to do?"

John trailed his fingers down my face. "You just have to let me take care of you and trust that it will be okay. Can you let me do that for you?"

Nodding slowly, I turned and got out of the car. My curiosity was piqued by what he might have in store. And the more I thought about it, the more aroused I became.

I wanted to ask questions but didn't know what to ask, and in the end, it didn't matter. John took control of the situation the minute the door closed behind us in the condo.

Standing in the middle of the floor, I heard the door locks engage and his soft footfalls as he crossed the room. My breathing became a little more labored at the thought of him touching me, but that's not what I got.

John came to a stop behind me. I could feel his heat radiate from his chest, even though he wasn't touching me. My body was tense and every muscle was taut in anticipation. I closed my eyes and waited for his words. When his warm breath skirted along my neck, chill bumps blanketed my skin.

My head tilted to the left, pulling my eyes closed when John's lips found their way to my neck. Releasing a weighted sigh, I savored the feel of his lips on me as he left soft kisses under my jaw and along the tendon of my neck.

I stepped back against him, needing to be closer. For him to blanket my body with his. He kissed the sensitive skin under my ear and wrapped his arms around me.

Wrapped in his warmth, he spoke softly. "Go to your room and get undressed. I'll be there in a moment. Okay?"

Reluctantly, I pulled out of his embrace. I nodded and stepped away. His hands slipped away from my body, leaving me to miss his touch. I unbuttoned my dress shirt as I walked toward my room. When I got to the door, I turned to find John watching me, still standing in the place I'd just vacated. The prideful expression he had on his face accompanied by his smile and the soft look in his eyes released some of the apprehension I'd been feeling.

I wanted to please him, and putting that look on his face made me happy. I'd done that, and it was a heady feeling. And I wanted more.

I walked in and crossed the room to the wingback chair that sat in the corner of the room. Carefully, I removed my clothes and folded them with practiced military precision. When he entered the room, I was completely naked, just as he asked. But he was not.

I frowned. "It's going to be difficult to do this with you dressed."

He smiled as he came closer. "I want to look at you. Is that okay?"

I shrugged, my face heating as he walked around me. "Whatever you want."

"Good," he murmured, placing a kiss on my shoulder as he circled me. My skin heated as his gaze trailed over me. And when he stood in front of me, he leaned in and placed a kiss on my lips.

"Kneel for me, sweetheart."

I was temporarily shocked at his words, but the longer I looked at him, the more I wanted to comply. So I dropped to my knees and sat back. Looking up at him, I saw pride and adoration on his face again, and the hint of something I was afraid to name.

"Like what you see?" I asked. I could even hear the hope in my voice.

John ran his hand over my head. "I love what I see, and you are such a good man."

As I stared up at him, trying to make sense of why this was affecting me this way, a tear slipped down my cheek, just like the night before. I wasn't embarrassed, because somehow I knew he wasn't going to tease me about it. Whatever happened here, I was safe with him.

John wiped away the tear, then stepped back out of my reach. He unbuttoned his shirt as I watched him expose himself to me. He stripped away the hard exterior we had to wear every day and showed me who he was. But if I were being honest with myself, I knew who John was.

When his attire matched mine, he got on his knees in front of me.

"I want to touch you," I said, wanting to make him feel good.

His smile was warm as he took my face in his hands. "You can. But I'm going to need something from you first."

My smile matched his. "What's that?"

John took my face in his hands and looked into my eyes. "I'm going to need you on your back looking at me while I— take you out of your head. Think you can do that?"

I sighed dramatically, acting like a fool, as usual. But the seriousness in his eyes stopped me in my tracks. I nodded and got to my feet.

Crawling onto my bed, I stretched out across the duvet and tucked my hands behind my head. John stood and looked down at me, stroking his cock.

"I'm gonna take you bare unless you have an objection. I don't want anything between us."

I shook my head. "No objection here. You own my ass for ninety days. You can have it as long as you want it." The teasing remark was meant to lighten the serious mood, but as he crawled onto the bed between my thighs, all humor left his gaze.

"And you own mine." Lowering himself onto me, he held my gaze until his lips met mine. Warm, wet kisses ensued as I ran my hands over his strong shoulders and long arms. Reaching down, I took our straining cocks in hand until we were both leaking.

John pulled away from my mouth, leaving me breathless as he continued kissing down my torso. His cock slipped from my hand and when he engulfed my shaft with his mouth, I sucked in a deep breath as my eyes rolled into the back of my head.

When he'd teased me long enough, he pulled off and kissed my thigh. "Roll over, babe."

I complied, knowing exactly where this was going. I was ready for him to shove his way into my body and leave behind a memorable burn. But that's not what I got.

Crawling over me, he braced his hands beside my head and lowered his upper body onto my back. John enveloped my lower body with his knees and legs along my hips while he gently thrust his cock along my crease. He wasn't seeking entrance, but building the anticipation while he placed kisses along my neck and shoulders. Working his way lower, his stubble tickled my spine as he licked a trail down to my ass.

"God you're making me crazy. Just fuck me already. I can take it."

"No," he chuckled softly. "I'm taking my time with you. You just lay there and enjoy what I give you. You aren't in control. I am. Remember?"

I rolled my shoulders off the mattress as my body broke into shivers. His touch, his words, and his affection for me came charging through my brain and taking me off guard. He wanted control, and I wanted to give it to him.

John sat back on my lower legs and kneaded my ass. He pulled my cheeks apart and leaned down to bite my ass. I yelped, making him chuckle. And when he was good and ready, he tapped my hip. "Up on your knees, but keep your shoulders and chest on the bed."

Following his directions, I got up just like he asked and stuck my ass out. I shook it for good measure, earning myself a playful pop on the ass.

"Stop it," he said. "Shaking your ass at me isn't going to get me to go any faster, sweetheart."

More shivers crested over me when he ran his stubble across my ass cheeks. And when he reached between my legs and took my erect shaft in his hand, I almost lost it from sensory overload.

"You are trying to kill me, aren't you?" I whined as he stroked me just enough to be irritating.

"Only in the best way," he murmured against my skin. And then he attached his mouth to my hole.

Moaning like the wanna-be-porn-star I was, John intensified his mission like a man starved. I pushed my ass back to get closer because I'd forgotten how good it felt to do this. Usually, I was the top doing all the ass-eating, so this trip down memory lane was making me giddy and would make me cum if he wasn't careful.

I lost track of time when he alternated his mouth and fingers on me, and just when I thought my eyeballs might stay permanently in the back of my head, he finally took pity on me.

My ass and my skin were wet from his mouth, and when the cool air ghosted over my skin, another big shiver ripped from me.

Another tap on my hip got my attention.

"Turn over, baby. I wanna see your face when I take you."

Flopping to my back without argument, I looked up into the face of the man whose dick I was falling for. Unable to take my eyes off him, John coated himself in lube and snapped the bottle shut. Tossing it to the side, he leaned down and took my mouth in a tender kiss. I wrapped my arms and legs around him as he managed to slide into me while I clung to him.

We groaned in relief as he inched himself inside me, gently thrusting his hips while still attached to my mouth. I loosened my monkey hold on him and reached for my cock. Two strokes in, he batted my hand away.

I yanked my head back when he shifted his hips to hit my prostate. Electricity arced through me as he worked his body like a male dancer in and out while touching every sensitive spot, building my pleasure to a new height.

With stamina I didn't know he had, John worked my body over, then stopped to kiss me stupid, only to pick himself up and keep going.

Normally, I was a chatty fucker during sex, but this was different. There was a connection we both felt, and I didn't want my stupid mouth to ruin this for him. Or myself. And that was a first.

I lost track of everything except John the last time he started up again. And when my release was approaching, he didn't stop. He grabbed my shaft with one hand and balanced his body with the other when my channel began to contract.

He stroked me through my release, and when he came a few strokes later, his eyes closed momentarily before opening to pin me with his gaze.

A confusing mix of feelings washed through me, but this time they felt more right than wrong. Something was changing inside me, and it had everything to do with John Langdon.

When our lips met again, I think my heart claimed him. And for the first time in a very long time, I felt loved.