17. Katerina

This is the second time I’m telling this story in the last few days. And I know without a doubt it won’t be the last time. Still, out of everyone else, the person who deserves to know the truth the most is him. Xander stares at me expectantly as I begin to speak.

“There were a lot of factors involved. But it all started after our break up. After I left D.C, I went back home to New York, needing some sense of normalcy, a distraction, anything to take my mind of you. Which is why when my father offered to send me to Moscow on a business trip, I took it. It was my first time going there on my own and the trip entailed trying to amend his relationship with a particularly nasty Boss who was intent on causing us some trouble. But he trusted me to handle it. The Boss was an old man called Sergey. Sergey Sokolov. And while he might have been an asshole, brash, dangerous, his son was so much worse,” I say quietly.

“His son?” Xander asks.

“Yes. His son’s name is Maxim Sokolov and to put it simply, he’s a psychopath. Anyway, when I first arrived in Moscow, I didn’t know all that. I knew Sergey was a little terrifying but I was prepared to handle him. I had a plan. What I didn’t plan for was his son. Almost as soon as I arrived, Maxim set his sights on me.”

There’s no other way to say this, so I resolve to say it as bluntly as possible. Like ripping a band aid off, except the pain this is going to leave behind will be so much worse, persistent, unflinching.

“Despite how scary he could be, he could also be pretty charming and he wasn’t exactly ugly. I was na?ve, and lonely and sad, so I allowed myself to be charmed into his bed.”

Beside me, Xander stiffens. “You what?”

A tremble goes through my hands. I clasp them and place them on my lap.

“It was a mistake, Xander. I was feeling lonely, I was young, in a county on my own without any support. I had just broken up with you and it was hard. Maxim paid attention, he was kind of sweet. He acted as a buffer between his father and me and he helped me out. I was living in their home because of the negotiations. Maxim played the part of a good host that was concerned for my well-being. A part of me knew it was all an act but in the face of everything I was going through, I refused to see it. One night I got drunk. Drunk enough to sleep with him. It was only one time but unfortunately that was all it took. Two weeks later, I was having breakfast with their family when I suddenly felt nauseous. I rushed out of the room to puke. Maxim called a doctor immediately, who didn’t hesitate to proclaim I was pregnant.”

Xander’s so still, I’m not sure he’s even breathing. My heart is pounding so loud I can feel it in my ears. I still remember how I felt that morning. I was lying in bed, Maxim a few feet away, speaking to the doctor. That fucking doctor who didn’t have the decency to tell me in private. Maybe if he had, things wouldn’t have gone so wrong.

“I didn’t believe it at first. I asked to be left alone. It took a lot of fighting but I was allowed to leave on my own. I left the house and went to buy a pregnancy test. When it came out positive, I went to a hospital and asked for a scan, which is where I was told how far along I was.”

A muscle jumps in Xander’s jaw.

“How far?” he asks slowly.

“Seven weeks. Nate’s yours, Xander. He could never be anything else but your son,” I say softly. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

He exhales, “Continue.”

“When I returned to the Sokolov’s, Maxim was ecstatic. I arrived to find him telling his father the ‘good news’, I was pregnant and carrying his child. I was shocked he would have thought that. I pulled him aside and tried to explain. I reminded him that we used a condom the night we slept together, then I tried to tell him how far along I was but he wouldn’t listen. Which is when the monster started to come out. He got angry and questioned why I was trying to keep him away from his baby. I tried to leave the house but he wouldn’t let me. He dragged me and locked me in his room.”

Even now, I can’t help but shiver at the thought of the days I spent there. He wouldn’t let me out despite how much I screamed and pleaded for him to do so. He wouldn’t listen to reason. It was terrifying. I hadn’t realized until that moment, who he really was.

“I managed to escape though,” I say in an undertone, unwilling to revisit how terrified I was locked in that room. “One of his men helped me and as I soon as I got out, I ran. As far away from the Sokolov’s as I could. But I also had another problem. I couldn’t go back home.”

“Why the hell not?” Xander bursts out. “You should have come home immediately. You should have come to me!”

My eyes fall close. “Maybe. But in that moment all I could think was that I was 19 and pregnant and I had no doubt just ruined my father’s relationship with his business partner. The Sokolov’s were out to get me but more than that, one thing was clear, if my father found out about the baby, he might have killed me.”

Xander’s eyes meet mine. “You could have come to me,” he repeats.

“It wasn’t that simple! How was I supposed to get out of Moscow? The moment I went to an airport, the Sokolov’s would know. If I managed to leave the city, then my father would know as soon as I arrived in New York. I was stuck between a fucking rock and a hard place. Literally, neither of those options seemed reasonable.”

“You preferred staying a city with psychopath than going home and facing your father?”

“Xander, I was pregnant. It’s different for women in the outfit. We’re not treated the same way. Sure, my father is different. He raised us to be strong, powerful. But he was also an Italian Don that would have seen a premarital pregnancy as an insult, a slight to his reputation. Sophia was literally forced to marry her husband because of that. And I’m so glad that my sister was already in love with the man she had to marry but back then I was in a completely different position. Your father practically kicked me out of your life, I broke up with you, ended our relationship after keeping my identity a secret. And then there was Sokolov to contend with. It was such a mess.”

“So what did you do?”

“I had to stay in Russia. I informed my father of the situation but I lied and told him the Sokolov’s were intent on killing me because of a misunderstanding. He wanted to come immediately and get me out but that would have led to a lot of bloodshed and a war we would have lost. We didn’t have that much power in Russia. I convinced him that I would be fine hiding out in the country. Only for a couple of months, while the Sokolov’s calmed down. Just for everything to settle down. And in the meantime I would also help him build alliances while I was there. I told him I could go undercover, do some underground work, and dig out information on the inner workings of the Bratva in Moscow. In the end, I managed to convince him that it was in our family’s best interests for me to remain there. Which is how I was able to hide my pregnancy. I stayed in Moscow for eight months. I gave birth to Nate there. And as soon as he was born, I found a way to leave.”

“The psychopath just let you go?” Xander asks gruffly.

I shake my head. “No, till the moment I left he was still intent on chasing me down. I was lucky to escape honestly. As soon as I arrived in the U.S, I went to D.C, to your house. I couldn’t take Nate home. If I did, who knows what my Papa might have done to him. So I left him and then I returned home and acted like nothing happened. A month or so after I left Moscow there was news that the Sokolov’s had been involved in some kind of shootout. Both Sergey and Maxim were dead and I was so glad. I thought it was all behind me.”

“You thought?” he grits out.

“He’s not dead,” I say quietly. “I only just found out recently. Maxim survived somehow and now he’s in control of his family’s business. He’s still alive.”

“Fucking fantastic,” Xander swears, getting to his feet. He runs an agitated hand through his hair. I can only stare up at him warily. “You’re telling me there’s a criminal psychopath out there somewhere who actually thinks Nate is his son and could come knocking down your door at any moment.”

“It’s been nine years,” I say, daring to hope. “If he hasn’t come here in nine years then he won’t be coming now.”

“That’s sounds like wishful thinking, Katerina. Things like this just don’t go away, fuck!” he yells.

Then he looks upstairs, worried that Nate might hear. He lets out a breath, looking at me.

“That was one hell of a story, Katerina,” he says in an even voice. “I’m not even sure where to begin to unpack that.”

I stay silent, unsure what he wants me to say. Xander looks away from me, staring at a point far away.

“At least it all makes sense now. Your motivations. But I still think you should have come to me.”

He’s angry. And he has every right to be angry.

“I’m sorry, Xander. I did what I thought was best.”

“I know,” he says quietly. “So what now? Putting aside the Russian psychopath. Your father now knows the truth, what do you plan to do about that?”

“It’s different now,” I tell him. “I’m Don. I’m in charge.”

“You’re hiding out in my home currently, princess. I’m having a hard time believing you’re in charge.”

Well that certainly cuts deep.

“I’m not hiding,” I grit out. “I’m trying to figure out the course of action. I have no way of predicting how my father will react in this situation. I don’t know what he’s going to do.”

“Would he hurt Nate?” Xander asks.

“No. He would never. Nate is his grandson. Family’s the most important thing to us. I’m more worried he’ll insist on seeing him. I’m not ready for Nate to meet my Papa. He can be a proud man, brash as well. And right now, I’m sure he’s very angry. I don’t want Nate anywhere near him.”

“Damn right,” Xander mutters. “I’d rather my son stays far away from him if I’m being honest.”

That gives me pause. “Xander, he’s still Nates’ grandfather. Eventually, maybe not soon, but eventually, he’s going to meet his grandson.”

“Your father’s a criminal and murderer.”

“So am I,” I counter. “In case you’ve forgotten, I come from a family of those. I’ve also killed people. I run a crime syndicate.”

He looks away. “You’re different.”

It hits me then, something I’ve never truly realized. Xander looks at me through rose tinted glasses, he has no idea, how deep the darkness goes. How much it consumes me every day. He might think he does, but he doesn’t.

“No, I’m not,” I say softly. “I’m a product of my upbringing, Xander. That’s never going to change.”

We both fall silent for several seconds. Until he breaks it.

“You think the articles out by now?” he questions.

“Probably. I left my phone in my room.”

“Same. But we should go check it out. I’m sure mine is already blowing up by now.”

I’m sure that’s just an excuse to get away from me. I let him have it.

“Yeah, okay. I need to make some calls too.”

I watch him leave as he walks away, heading up the stairs. Once he’s gone from my sight, I head inside as well. As soon as I open the door to the room, my phone is buzzing. It’s a call from my father, which I immediately ignore, instead choosing to check out the article. The headline jumps out, making my jaw clench.

Heir to Steele Industries and his Sordid Affair with a Mafia Princess.

How unoriginal, I think with distaste. And I’m not a fucking princess anymore. I’m a queen. I skim through the article, my blood heating at the mention of Nate and how he’s alleged to be mine and Xander’s love child. The article is obviously written in a way that it serves as a smear campaign, against both mine and Xander’s reputation. But I never had much of a reputation in the first place. I’m just angry that they’re trying to drag his name through the mud. And I’m so fucking angry that Nate has to be involved as well.

The reports cites several sources who provided him with information on the timeline of our relationship. The names of his sources are redacted of course, but I fully plan on finding each and every person who spoke and make them pay.

I’m still going through the article when my phone buzzes once again. It’s an incoming call from Rico. I pick up immediately. He’s literally the only person I’d be happy to talk to currently.

“Hey, cugino,” I greet.

“Good morning, Katerina. Did you sleep well?” he questions.

I hate sleeping in beds apart from my own. It makes me uncomfortable. It took some tossing and turning last night but I managed to fall asleep eventually.

“I slept okay. What’s the progress report?”

“Well, your Papa has calmed down enough and is waiting for you to come home and explain yourself,” he informs me.

“He’ll be waiting a while,” I mutter. “I will return to the mansion tomorrow.”

Rico’s momentarily silent. “You think that’s a good idea?”

“Probably not. But I just-,” I hesitate. “I want one more day. Xander’s being so cooperative and nice, I’m scared that if I leave, he won’t let me back in and I have so much I want to say to Nate, so much I want to ask. I’m not ready to leave my son.”

He sighs softly. “I get that, Kat. But he can’t keep you away from your son. If you want to see him, then you will see him. You’re Don, no one keeps you away from what’s yours.”

“That is entirely the wrong approach and will most certainly not be happening. He raised the boy for nine years, cugino. Legally speaking, he has more rights than me.”

Rico snorts. “Who said anything about rights?”

“Ethically speaking, it would be callous of me to think I deserve anything more than what he’s willing to give,” I retort.

“Fine. You can take care of that issue on your own. How are we cleaning up this mess?”

“After explaining to Papa and calming him down, I need to take care of Colton. He’s the reason all this happened after all.”

“Of course,” Rico says in agreement. “And for what it’s worth, I don’t think you should be too worried about your Papa. He made you Don, Katerina. You outrank him, which means you can do whatever the hell you want.”

“I wasn’t worried,” I state.

“Sure,” he chuckles. “Amway, I got to go.”

“Wait, Rico,” I state. “What about Sophia?”

“I’m sorry, Kat but you’re going to have to give your sister some time.”

“How did she take it?”

“Not well. She didn’t say much, and as you know with Soph, silence is big indicator of how she’s feeling. I didn’t tell her the whole story, I figured I’d leave that to you. I just told her you had a good reason for the choices you made.”

“Okay,” I say breathing softly. “Thank you.”

“No problem. So when should I come pick you up?”

“Tomorrow. I’ll text you Xander’s address.”

“Alright. And be careful with that man. I don’t know him and I don’t trust him.”

I find myself saying something, I don’t say often and have definitely not said in relation to someone who isn’t a member of my family, “I trust him.”