Chapter 25

Kathleen

"You're so soft and beautiful." Ira has me on her bed, my arms propping me up as she stands before me, pulling off my coat and destroying my body with hungry eyes. "Everything about you is supple. Especially here." She pokes one of my breasts, making me tremble. "You're going to come undone for me, and I can't wait."

The coat falls down my arms, and I lift each hand so she can pull it away and let it drop to the floor. Now she's looming so far over me that everything is shadow.

Ira kisses my forehead, my cheek, my shoulder. Teeth nip my bra strap. She's going slow, although everything she does feels so… predatory. A wolf in a crisp Italian shirt.

It shouldn't make me so hot.

Moving to her room has made me feel safer, and I can't explain why. Maybe it's the heightened sense of privacy. Maybe it's the comfort of her king-sized bed. Or maybe I needed a change in scenery after associating my fear of losing control with the living room.

Doesn't matter. I feel so much better now. I think I'm ready.

Pink. That's my safe word. I can stop this at any time. Pink. I still have control.

"Do you want me to do it?" She's muttering against my shoulder, pressing her face into my cleavage. Her tongue strikes my nipple inside my bra, and I suck in my breath like I've never had this done to me before. "Do you want me to take you over, Katie?"

The word falls too easily from my lips. "Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"Yes, Mistress."

She's so soft-spoken, but I hear the stern Domme in her voice. The one who wants to be respected. To receive obedience.

"You're so hot." She's on her knees, breathing hard against my thighs. Fuck me. "I'll make sure you're nice and relaxed for what I have planned next."

Planned. Next.

Ira's tongue is all over my slit before I realize my legs are opened and spread on the bed. Fuck. She's licking my lingerie, tearing at the lace and silk with her teeth, tongue frisking my clit whenever she feels like it. I try not to think about how vulnerable I feel. Especially since I can't hide how aroused I am.

"Katie…" Ira pulls away my underwear and goes for it, her tongue all over my clit, my slit, inside me. Her tongue is deceptively large. If it feels like it packs a punch in my mouth, then it's downright destructive down there. It feels so good. Her hands are on my hips, pulling me forward against her face. Her tongue obliterates the last of my worries as I relax into this and anticipate my first climax of the evening.

If I come, I'll feel so much better.

Except Ira is a Domme, and she's got games to play. When she senses my moans, my shaking thighs, she kisses my navel and makes her way back up to my mouth. Sure enough, she kisses me, and I taste myself on her tongue.

I taste good.

"Stay spread." A part of me hopes she'll fuck me with the Avalon, like this, with my legs wide open on the edge of her bed. I'll let her call me whatever she likes. "You like this?"

Her fingers aren't the same, but fuck, I'll take ‘em. "Yes, Mistress," I whisper, one arm hooking around her strong shoulders as two of her fingers slip into me.

"You're so warm tonight… and tight." Her fingers curl within me. Twist. Search for something to bring me to the edge of orgasm. "You get wetter than any other woman, Katie."

I don't tell her, but this intimate moment alone is one of the greatest of my life. I wrap my hand around her wrist, gently, my eyes locking with hers. "Can I come? Please?"

"We'll see." Her movements slow. I don't care. She's still inside of me, and that's all that matters right now. "I like it when you ask for things. You should be polite to me. The nicer you are, the more likely I am to give you what you want."

Good to know.

"What do you want, Katie? Do you want me to fuck you with my fingers?"

"Yes, Mistress."

Ira's fingers thrust into me. I gasp, eyes rolling into the back of my head. "All right."

She fucks me.

Shit, I can't describe it past that. It's unlike anything I've ever felt before, and I don't know why. My toes are curling over the side of her bed, her fingers filling me, twisting inside and stroking my tenderest spot. One arm is flung around her shoulders while the other holds me up on her bed. My breasts are popping out of my bra, Ira's mouth finding them so quickly that I almost don't see my nipple before it's between her lips. The woman isn't even touching my clit, and I feel like I could come.

"Please, Mistress. Please let me come."

I don't recognize my voice. Who is this quiet woman?

A groan against my breast has got me so unhinged that I release half my arousal all over her hand. Ira chuckles. "You like being fingered, my darling?"

My darling. "Uh-huh…"

She smacks the inside of my thigh before easily shoving her fingers back in. "Be polite."

"Yes, Mistress…"

I'm losing consciousness. I want to come so badly that my hips thrust against her hand.

She pulls out.

"Now, now." Ira wipes her wet hand all over my leg, my breasts. "I didn't say you could do that. You need to wait for my command."

Her lips suck my throat. I'm pushed down onto the bed, her on top of me, my legs flinging into the air.

Take it out, Ira. Fuck me.

Just as quickly as this begins, she rolls off and points to the pillow.

"Up there."

My legs are shaking as I pull myself to the head of the bed. Ira walks around the edge, opening a drawer and pulling out what I've been wondering about for a while now.

Handcuffs. Black silk. I know what's coming, but I'm denying it for my sanity.

Pink. I can say it. I keep that power locked within me.

"Tell me what you want, Katie." Ira goes through a few scraps of black silk, holding this one up to the light and that one against my bare skin. "What turns you on the most right now? What position are you begging for?"

Is she negotiating with me? "I don't care, Mistress. I just want you to…"

Ira raises an eyebrow. "Go on."

"I want you to fuck me. Please."

The handcuffs land beside me. They sound so heavy. "Last two times I did that, I took you against a wall." Before I can say uncle, one of my wrists is handcuffed to the bed. Have I mentioned that I'm on my stomach? I feel so vulnerable that I want to cry. This is happening so fast! "In fact, I haven't had non-wall sex with a woman in a good while. I can't wait to take you."

She snatches my other wrist and makes it join the first.

"Well, well." Ira's fingers start at my neck and travel down my back, following the curve of my spine before ending at my ass. My wet ass, since that's how aroused I am.

"You are the hottest woman I've ever seen." I don't know if she's telling the truth, and I don't care. It makes me feel better. "I'm going to take you, Katie. I'm going to take your body and send your mind to oblivion." She squeezes my French twist. I don't know why she likes my hair up so much.

Then she pulls it out of its hold, my long hair falling over my face, down my back. It covers her hand as she caresses my flesh.

Ira lifts the blindfold.

"Wait…"

"Hm?" She sits next to me, her weight making the bed sink and my body slightly roll left. "Problem? Tell me what's on your mind."

I don't know where to begin. Partly because she's wrapping the silk around my eyes, cutting me off from the world. "I don't know…"

"I'm not going to gag you. You'll have every bit of power to say your safe word. But I want to do this."

"Okay."

Her breath is in my ear. "Good." Now her hand is on my ass. Firm. Adrenaline pumps through me. Oh God. Oh fuck. Please take mercy on me.

I've never been spanked before.

I yelp when she does nothing more than tap my ass. You'd think she whacked me with a damn paddle.

"Shh." She kisses my shoulder, nibbling my bra strap again. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Why are you spanking me?" I'm being insubordinate. I can't help it. I need to know.

"You need to be broken in, Katie. You need to have your mindset changed. I'm not giving you release until I feel you're actually in a different mindset."

I don't say anything.

"You've always tried to take power." She smacks my ass, gently, but enough to make me jerk up and yank on my handcuffs. I wish I could see the look on her face, what her hand is doing. Instead, I get a tap on my other cheek. "I don't blame you. A woman in your position… it must be difficult."

She spanks me harder. I gasp, a whimper underlying my voice.

"Now you're going to let go of that control. You're going to take every sting people have tried to throw your way and you brushed off. You have to, Kathleen. You must accept the sting."

Ow! Ow!

She spanked me so hard that I shrieked into the pillow!

The sting, as she calls it, takes over my body. It's all I can fucking feel, especially when she whacks me again, my flesh rippling beneath her touch and… and… so numb. So sore. My legs shoot up and I instinctively try to roll away from her poisonous touch. But I can't. The handcuffs prevent me from using my body as it should be used.

Instead, she's using it.

"Do you feel that?" Ira's voice is caustic, angry. "Do you feel how much it hurts?"

"Yes!" I flinch the next time she spanks me.

"Do you feel how much it pleases you?"

Yes. Deep beneath the sting, beneath the pain, is excitement. Ira's brash love has me shuddering, not in fear, but in pleasure. Pleasure. Someone is spanking me, and I… I like it.

Especially when her fingers occasionally dip inside of me, tenderly fucking me until she pulls out and spanks me again.

Oh, fuck. Fuck.

At first, I'm ashamed. I hate how much I like this. I'm not supposed to. Not because I'm a good girl, but because I'm supposed to take power in spanking others. I've spanked many people in my life. Watching them shudder, pleading for sexual mercy, is so exquisite. And now here I am, so confused as to why the roles have been switched.

I don't do this. I don't submit!

"Tell me you like it, Katie. Tell me you like the pain."

Blood hits my lips. I didn't realize I had been chomping on them. "I do…" It hurts so much, yet I can't bring myself to say the safe word. I want more. More.

I want my ass to burn. I want to feel every sting the world has ever flung at me. In this safe, controlled environment.

I had no idea this was therapy.

"Please! Another!'

The words are out of my mouth. I can't control them. I want that sting. I want that crippling ache. I want it infused into my blood, to feel her hand hurt me.

I could make this stop, but I don't want to! I want her to make me bleed!

Only Ira could do this to me. I don't know how I let her into my head so quickly, but she's doing it. She's transforming me into her sub.

I'm so scared… yet so excited.

Give in, Kathleen. Give in to that side of you that she yearns to see. The one that turns her on and makes her fuck you until you can't even see the stars in the sky.

Although my eyes see darkness, I sense the burning red. It's my blood boiling. Fighting back the pain. Accepting this cruel punishment for daring to outrun my fears for so long. At some point, they had to catch up to me. Now here they are, manifested in another Domme's hand.

Fucking. Love. It.

"One more, Mistress," I whisper. "Please, Ira, one more."

"Then what?" Her hand hovers above my ass.

My lip is bleeding into her pillow. "And then fuck me, Mistress!"

"I'm not going to just fuck you, Kathleen." Her fingers graze my ass, reminding me what this is for. "I'm going to tear you apart until you fall so far down off your high horse that you can't imagine ever climbing back up again. You are my possession now. I own you."

Smack!

Everything is white. No darkness. The blindfold may bring shadows, but I see hot, white lights as she hits me so hard that my body seethes. Burns. Aches for any touch she's giving.

My ass barely has time to numb before I feel Ira behind me, settling in between my legs. Her legs are bare. When did she undress?

Shit, her skin feels so good against mine. Even through the pain, my thighs become wetter. I'm ready.

Do it, Ira. Fuck it all out of me.

Pull my hair. Bite the back of my neck. Fill me and get your fill of my body wrapped around yours. I'm yours. I'm yours!

"You don't know what you do to me, Katie." She grinds the Avalon against my leg, letting me feel everything about it. I want it. I want it inside of me, even in this position. "Ever since we started this game a few weeks ago, I can't stop thinking about you. I want you in every way imaginable. I want to share everything I know with you."

Her voice is so warm in my ear. My skin stings, but I'm so comforted that I don't care what she does.

"There's a whole world out there that you don't know about. The world inside of your head. Embrace it, my darling. Open yourself, to me, to that voice inside your head I know you can hear."

How does she know?

She lines the prosthetic up with my needy opening. It takes all of two seconds for me to realize what she's about to do.

"Wait!" My face is up, my hands yanking against the bindings. "Pink. Pink!"

Ira stops. "What?" She's growling, her fingers digging into my tender flesh as she's poised to drive the Avalon inside of me.

Don't get me wrong! I want that. Oh, I want it. I want to give myself over, but…

"Don't refill it."

I don't hear anything for a while. Then, "I already have."

"But…"

"I know why you're hesitant, but those are my parameters." She sounds so… frustrated. "You come into my bedroom, asking me to dominate you, and you don't think I'm going to end this exactly the way I see fit? You knew my endgame the moment you clocked the exact model of my prosthetic."

I open my mouth to speak.

"That's not how it works. You're here. You're mine. I am going to make sure you know that you're mine."

I've never heard her like this before. I'm scared. Anxious. So fucking turned on. Almost to the point of losing reason. Almost.

"If you don't experience everything I've fantasized about doing to you these past few weeks… there's no point to any of this. You need to let go of every inhibition."

She's right. But I'm not ready.

"Please… Ira." Do I sound pathetic enough?

"You know what? It's fine, baby." I hate it when people call me that. Yet I don't hate her right now. She strokes my head, wrapping my hair between her fingers. "You can say no. I won't force you. You can trust me."

I heave a sigh of relief.

"But you will need to leave."

"What?"

"You have your boundaries? So do I. You're not the only one who gets to set some rules around here. We have a conflict of interest. You want it one way, I want another. Sorry. It's a deal breaker right now."

I can't believe this!

"Unless, of course… you change your mind? What do you want more, Katie?" The sneer in her voice reawakens everything. Fuck me, it's turning me on so much. My legs are spreading wider, ready for her, for this. Yet I'm shaking, because I have never in my life…

Felt anything like that before.

"Did you hear me? What do you want more?" The Avalon vigorously pushes against my sore ass. "To hold on to that part of yourself? Or me?"

She bites my ear, her tongue falling inside it, exploring my mind. Fuck me.

"I want you." Who is this person saying this? Who is making my ass grind against her? Who is so hungry to feel everything inside of me, to make me hers in the way she sees fit? Oh my God, if she does that, then I really am submitting to her.

Oh fuck. Fuck! Fuck!

Is that what I have to do to enter that space? Do I really have to let her take me like that? She knows me too well. We've only been screwing for a couple of weeks, but she knows me well enough now to know that the only way to break me is to…

I'm scared. I'm shaking. The handcuffs are vibrating against the bed because I'm shaking so hard. No, you don't understand. I've never done that before. Nobody's ever gone there with me. They've never tied me up, blindfolded me, made me their possession.

Why do I want it so much?

"I want you…" I feel like I've gone mad. This isn't me talking. This is that interloper inside my mind who is laughing, carrying on, and telling me that this is what I really want. "I want you, Ira."

It's done. She's inside me.

I'm so ready that it's like nothing at all. She's deep, so deep, just sitting there, enjoying the sight of me reacting. She groans. She shudders. She's practically laughing.

Damn her. And damn me!

When she begins to move, I nearly cry. I don't know what I'm crying about. Fear? Relief? I don't care. Tears are falling beneath my blindfold, but I can't bring myself to pay attention to them. Because Ira Mathison is fucking me from behind, her hand pulling my hair, making my scalp hurt. She shoves my head into the pillow, all my moans muffled as she plows between my legs, grunting and talking so dirty.

"Tell me you don't like this." She slaps my ass, and I sob, my body loving it so much while my mind screams in ecstasy. "Tell me you don't want me fucking you until you're mine."

I can't bring myself to say that… because it's not true.

"Take it, Katie. Take it and love it."

She pushes on the curve in my spine, which makes my ass bump the air, angling my inner canal so she can split me in two.

The asshole wasn't kidding. She's going to tear me to pieces.

It hurts. Between my sore ass and the way she's moving, I can barely stand the pain. The glorious, beautiful ache that takes over my brain and purges it of everything I've felt in my life.

It's so good. It's so hot. I give myself over to it.

Why not? It's happening. I can't turn back. I'm living in this moment, with this woman who defies every societal norm as if it's another day, another breath. She's inside me, on me, taking me and having me for herself.

It's unlike anything I've ever felt before. I thought I knew what it felt like to have someone penetrate me. Somehow, though, everything feels… more intimate.

Forbidden, but intimate.

"That's it." Ira spanks me again, and I groan into her pillow. I'm groaning from everything and anything happening to me at this point. "Surrender to me."

Surrender.

That's the word I'm looking for. Surrender. Give. Bestow. Sur-fucking-render.

It's like she's caught me after a long, arduous chase. I've been run down, trapped in a corner after fleeing something I know I have to do. My knees dig into the bed, hair pulling at my scalp and painful pleasure ripping through me like electrical sparks hitting every sensitive place. Ira pulls out and then rams the Avalon in, my pussy rendered perfectly useless to anything else.

I feel it approaching. The moment I come, the moment I surrender.

I know now. All of this is for me. I asked for it. I wanted to know what it felt like to give in, to surrender.

Over ten years of having regular sex, and fuck me, this is the first time I've felt this aware of every part of my body.

Ira's hands grasp my hips, driving into me. Sometimes I prop myself up and feel my nipples caress the bedspread. Other times she pushes my face into the pillow, pounding into me like a machine. A steady, rhythmic machine that knows what the hell it's doing.

My whole life I've been like a wild steed. Doing what I please. Taking what I want. Avoiding the civilized world because I refuse to be tamed. The more Ira fucks me, the more I feel myself being lulled into security, into the idea that this isn't so bad after all.

I hear it all. My arousal punishing the Avalon. The grunts in her throat. My heart pounding in my ears. I have no control over anything, not even my hips. I'm completely at this Domme's mercy. And I like it.

Everything is pulsing. It's so hot that I moan against my handcuffs. Heat, heat, heat. I know she's indulging in my inner heat. It's getting easier and easier to take what I'm offered.

I'm surrendering.

Just as I feel myself on the edge of losing it, of jumping headfirst into orgasm, Ira pulls out of me and shoves my ass over. I think she's done. Did she climax and I was so wrapped up in my own world I missed it? No. I would have felt that for the first time in my life. Instead, she's uncuffing me, ripping the blindfold off my head, and rolling me over.

Oh my God, she's so damned hot.

Naked, vulnerable, gritting her teeth. She's getting ready to rip my throat out as she claims the rest of me with her mouth and hands. I barely have time to enjoy the view of what's pressing upon me before Ira pulls my legs apart and drives back into me, digging deeper and farther back than she's dared to before.

My hands are free, but I don't know what to do with them besides grabbing the pillow beneath my head. She's holding my ankles, cupping me beneath my knees, making sure I'm angled for pleasure as she slams into me.

"Say it," she growls, tapping one of my breasts and peaking my nipple. "Say you're mine. You surrender."

Words don't want to happen right now. Thinking about them takes away from concentrating on the pulses rippling through me. "I'm yours…" My eyes try to roll back again. God, she feels so big on top of me. Or maybe I feel smaller, don't know. "I surrender."

She stills, and all of me is eager to please her. I don't know how she has lasted this long. I don't know how I've lasted this long, other than I'm afraid to orgasm, for this to be over. "Do you want me to come, Katie?"

I grimace, holding on to the warmth of her embrace. Ira nearly falls on top of me, her lips bruising my throat as she waits for my answer.

This woman wants me so much. I'm doing this to her. I'm turning her into an uncontrollable demon who can't stop soon enough. Not that I want her to.

"Yes."

"Katie…"

Her breath is in my ear, her tongue down my throat, her lips everywhere. My freed arms wrap around her, holding her to me as my legs spread as far as they can to take everything inside me. This is it. This is what it means to be possessed by someone. Everything is tense. There are only a few moments between her impaling me and when we climax, but these moments last a lifetime.

I'm alive. I'm free.

I'm hers.

"Oh, my God." My nails dig into her shoulders while I whimper. "Let me come!"

"Come for me, Katie."

Permission granted, I embrace the swelling feelings inside of me. I think about how full I am. How warm. How protected. My toes start to curl again. I want to close my eyes, but Ira is above me, staring back into me as I gaze into her resolute visage.

She's so soft. So feminine. She's losing it.

Ira groans into my mouth, and every muscle in me understands why someone like Ira Mathison gets off on fucking her partners with a prosthetic. I don't doubt she feels it in every corner of her brain, her muscles, her daft lips and her hypnotically hazel eyes. I'm entranced by the constant countenance she keeps, even when sweat creases her brow and envelopes her skin. I see a story written somewhere beneath her freckles, her veins, her flushing face. Maybe I'll read it one day. For now, I'm merely captivated by this cover.

The cry I unleash as I come fills this room with everything I've been keeping pent up inside for years.

Fuck, fuck fuck. Shit, shit shit! There's nothing in this world except the two of us. Us and the waves of pleasure undulating through me, claiming my psyche and body both. I'm grabbing her head, pulling her hair, scratching her skin, and feeling like the ceiling is crashing on me while the floor swallows us up. Ira's thrusts remain steady, hard, reaching up into me as I still reel from the idea of a Domme seeing me like this. Everything is flushed with heat, shuddering.

"Ira!" I sound like I'm famished. So tragic. "Don't stop! Don't…"

Nope. I'm gone. And so is she.

Her thrusts suddenly increase, and a gravelly groan reverberates in her throat.

I don't know what hits me first. The unexpected liquid heat claiming my pussy, or the possessive sound that takes over Ira's form.

It's my first time experiencing this. Is it normal for it to feel like it's going on forever? That every crevice of my body is being touched by her? If the Avalon can't reach it, then surely she can. I don't know what's normal. I don't know what it means for this to happen. All I know is that it feels incredible.

Awareness strikes me. I'm so aware of how stretched open I am. She always does this to me, and I gladly welcome her. But it feels so unreal. How can I open that much for her? How can she make me so aroused to do that? Time is stopping. Tired kisses cover my skin, but I only have eyes for the glistening skin slowly moving on top of me.

I don't want her to leave.

Fatigue washes over me. My thighs are so sore. My ass is nearly unbearable. My body wasn't built for this, and yet it found a way.

"Katie." Ira is sated. I hear it in her voice as she plants heavy kisses on my chest. She begins to pull out.

And I begin to panic.

I can't pry my eyes away from her abandoning me, my body spread so wide that I'm…

"See? You're mine."

Where is that part of me that was so happy a moment ago? Where is submissive Kathleen? Where did she go? Why is she abandoning me to this fate?

"Not so bad, huh?" Ira caresses the inside of my thigh, fingers tugging at the open edges of my folds. I'm turned on. I'm satiated. I'm so fucking fucked up by it that there's only one way to process it.

I freak the hell out.